//------------------------------// // Equestria Boys 2: Light Refracted Through Raindrops is a Type of Popular Music (Part 1) // Story: The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted // by defender2222 //------------------------------// "Discord, what do you think you are doing?" The draconequus tried to flash his most innocent smile. He'd decided on a whim (which is how he decided most things) to sneak into Canterlot's Vault of Dangerous and Powerful Magic Thingies (tm) and just snoop around. He'd done his best to sneak past the guards and not trip any alarms, but it appeared that he had missed one. Now, instead of being all by himself, able to search the Vault to his heart's content, he found himself staring at Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor, Chrysalis, and Tydal. "Uh... nothing?" "Drop the innocent act, Discord," Celestia said firmly. "We caught you red-handed." "What? No!" Discord looked down to see that his hands were, indeed, quite red. "This is more of a maroon color. You caught me maroon handed." He gave a sniff of annoyance. “Really, you should try and be more literal.” “I’m always literal,” Cadence stated. “Like, when I scream (censored) you, I actually mean I want to take your (oh my yes this is censored!) and then (by my glorious beard, how would you even do that?!?) and end it with a (I heard that’s how Ben Franklin died).” “… how do you even walk straight?” Tydal asked Shining. "Put down the Jewel of Four Souls," Luna said sternly, deciding to get them back to the issue at hand… hoof… whatever. "But if I don't pay back Naraku he'll have his goons break my legs!" Discord whined. "Drop... it," Celestia said slowly. The chaos god sighed and did as asked. "What made you believe we didn't have the Vault armed so it might alert us that your brand of magic was within its walls?" "I thought it because I didn't think you'd be smart enough to do so." "Well we were," Cadence said with a nod. "And by 'we' I mean we hired a home security firm and they suggested we install it." Discord made himself pockets and stuffed his hands into them, looking down with a forlorn expression. "None of you are any fun." Chrysalis, meanwhile, was looking over a nasty looking war hammer which was rumored to contain the soul of an insane troll (the bridge kind, not the Yahoo commenter kind). "Now, is this like a library where we can check things out or is it more like a Rent-Way?" "Neither," Celestia said, place the jewel and the warhammer back where they belonged. "This is a sacred vault that holds some of the most dangerous and deadly artifacts in all of Equestria and we all must treat each item in here with dignity and-" "Relic fight!" Discord shouted, grabbing some cursed jewels and throwing them at Chrysalis. The changeling queen laughed and began to use her magic to toss enchanted items right back at the chaos god. "This is going to end badly, isn't it?" Shining asked. Tydal pursed his lips. "It might not... I mean, there is a chance-" "Weeee!" Cadence giggled, grabbing the Mirror of Worlds and throwing it as Luna. The moon goddess' eyes widened and she just managed to leap out of the way... only for the mirror to hit the ground and begin to tremble. "Uh... King Sombra did it?" The Mirror fired off beams of light and its reflective surface became a great sucking vortex. The deities let out screams as they were drug in kicking and... well, screaming. “With my last breath… I curse Spike the dragon!” Tydal screamed as he was the last yanked through the portal. “WIGGLES!” And as quickly as it had begun... it was over, leaving the mirror lying there, silent and alone. ~MC~MC~MC~ "Ow," Celestia said with a groan. "That... really hurt." "Indeed, sister," Luna said, rising up where she had fallen. She rubbed her forehead. "I had forgotten what real pain felt like." Celestia nodded. "This is why I decided against foalbirth and stuck with convincing ponies to let me raise their children instead. No pain and no dirty diapers." Celestia slowly stood up, running her fingers through her hair. She felt wobbly in her heels so she used the desk to support herself. "I hope I didn't break something..." The sun goddess froze, lowering her arm so she could stare at her hand. Her fingers wiggled a bit and she began to tremble in fright. Luna had also fallen silent, staring at her decidedly NOT pony-sister, then at her decidedly not pony-self. The two took a deep breath each and, acting as sane and rational princesses, did the mature thing. "..AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the two human sisters screamed, pointing at each other. They then looked at their hands once more. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" The two clapped their hands over their flat faces. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Both paused, grabbed the neckline of their shirts, and pulled them open so they could stare at their new breasts. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted Episode 31: Equestria Boys 2: Light Refracted Through Raindrops is a Type of Popular Music "Ok, ok, ok," Celestia said, pacing up and down the office she'd found herself in. If it hadn't been for the trauma of waking up in strange new bodies the two sisters would have found the office quite nice. A solid desk, large window overlooking a grassy field, plush carpet... it was a perfect place for anything OTHER than discovering your body had transformed into a monstrous new form. "We need to stay calm. Panicking will not help us-" "By our Mother, there are wiggly things at the end of my back hooves too!" Luna held up her bare dark blue foot, her toes twitching. Celestia stared at the toes with the same horror one might express upon finding out Miley Cyrus was their new roommate. "...maybe... maybe that is just you..." Celestia quickly sat on the ground, ripping off her heels and stockings to find that, yes, she also had toes. "...AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "What sort of hairless freaks are we?!?" Luna screamed to the heavens, waving wildly at her feet. The door to the office opened violently, slamming against the wall before swinging back and hitting the opener in the face. "Ow." Opening the door at a slower pace, the new arrival stared at the sisters. While anyone else would have found it odd to find Celestia and Luna sitting on the ground pointing at their bare feet, the new arrival merely cried out, "Oh no... not you too!" "Chrysalis?!?" Luna said, staring at the black skinned and green-haired woman. Unlike Celestia and Luna, who were wearing professional business attire (jackets of blouses, slacks, and short heeled heels), Chrysalis was sporting a leather jacket, a green tank top, and holey green jeans. "Please... please help me!" the former changeling whimpered. "I am stuck in this horrid shape!" "So are we!" Luna screamed. "Look at those... stubby things!" She thrust her foot in Chrysalis' face. “I know!” Chrysalis whined, kicking off her strappy sandals to reveal that she had been curses with toes too. “Get them away!” Celestia cried out, trying to crawl away from her own feet. "You know, I hear there are ponies in Trotyo that pay money to see footage of creatures sticking their feet in each other’s faces.” The three former mares turned to see Tydal casually leaning against the doorway, happily eating an apple. Juice from the fruit trickled down his gray chin and along his muscular neck; if the three ladies weren't his baby sisters they would have found him very attractive, even in his new form. Unlike them, who had soft curves and lean bodies, Tydal was ripped with hard muscle. "Are you three done screaming?" "Daddy... what happened to us?" Luna whispered, her fear causing her to revert to calling Tydal not by his name but by the title she had screamed out as a foal whenever a nightmare overtook her. Celestia, despite being thousands of years old and princess of a strong nation, also looked up at Tydal from where she sat on the carpet, confused tears dripping from her eyes. Chrysalis had ended up curling up next to the white woman, her arms wrapped around her knees as she rocked back and forth. "Oh... my little ponies." All humor left the war god as he shut the door. He hurried to the center of the room, tossing his coat on a desk chair before plunking himself down in the center of the office. Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis looked at him for a moment before slowly crawling over to him, their arms wrapping around him as they hugged him. None of them cared that they were far too old to behaving in such a foolish way; all three needed comfort at that moment. "Shhh... it is alright. Daddy is here." Tydal began to hum softly as he allowed his little sisters to cling to him. "What... what is going on?" Celestia hiccupped, hiding her face against Tydal's shoulder in embarrassment. Tydal leaned over and kissed her forehead. "We have been transported to the same world Shining Armor and I visited several months ago... the same one your Twilight Sparkle journeyed to." "I didn't realize Twilight had to... undergo such changes." Luna looked at her fingers in disgust, her feet tucked under her so she didn't have to look at the flat things that had replaced her hooves. Chrysalis, who'd laid her head on the sea god's lap, hugged his knee tight. "I don't like it here." "Now now, there is plenty to love in this world," Tydal said with a smile, each arm wrapped around Celestia and Luna. "afterall, I met your mommy here." Celestia blinked. She knew Merida (who was of course 'mommy'; their birthmother was just that: mother. Merida was mommy and always would be), had not always been a capricorn but when Tydal had described humans she had never pictured her... like this. "What... what are we?" "They call themselves 'humans'. A rather interesting bunch... nothing in terms of magic but their abilities when it comes to battle and war are quite impressive. They are easily slashed by claw and tooth but they have managed to find ways to be the dominate species." Seeing the sour looks the three women were giving him he chuckled. "And they have created great works of song and dance and art... they have epic novels and grand plays and... and wonders that will leave you all breathless." "That's nice," Chrysalis said, finally managing to control her sobs and sniffles. "But how do we get home? We… we aren’t stuck here, right?" "Oh, of course not! We'll just need to find the portal that leads out. Won't be that hard, I know a pony... girl... whatever... that can help us out." Tydal smiled. "But I think we should take a few days to enjoy ourselves. I know I always have fun when I visit this world. I already sent a text to Shining-" "A what?" Luna asked. “Is that a kind of bird?” "...ok, so first things first, I need to give you three some culture lessons." Before any of the three women could respond the door to the office opened, revealing Shining Armor. Of course, the only way Celestia, Luna and Chrysalis could tell it was Shining was due to his hair being the same and his white skin. He was dressed in jeans and a letterman jacket that bore Tydal's family crest with the words 'Mareatine University' upon it. Curled up against him was Cadence, also in human form, wearing a white turtleneck and a baby blue skirt. "I'd make a joke about wanting to join your orgy but... I'm not in the mood," Cadence said, her eyes just as red as the other mares. "Captain Armor," Tydal said with a nod. "Lord Tydal." "I see you found Cadence easily enough." "We were apparently on a date... freaked out everyone in the park when Cadence began screaming about transforming into a hideous monster." "Did you see the wiggly things at the end of your hooves too?" Luna asked. "The what?" Cadence exclaimed, looking down at Celestia's still bare feet. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" She leapt into Shining’s arms, the young man struggling not to fall. Shining winced. "Thank you, sweetie, I was hoping I'd lose my hearing in that ear." Shining focused on Tydal. "I assume you have a plan?" "Spend a few days getting them use to these form then head home," Tydal stated. "It would be wise for them to be ok in them, in case we ever end up here again and need the tactical advantage." The pony-turned-frat president nodded. "I agree." Seeing that the princesses and the changeling queen were making no move to let go of Tydal anytime soon, Shining went over to the sofa that was sitting across from the desk and plopped down, Cadence curling up in his lap and nuzzling him. "So, after we detangle ourselves we can focus on finding Discord," Shining said, rolling his eyes. It was clear the captain would prefer to do anything but. "Do you want me..." Tydal nodded. "They are too skittish... I'll take Cadence and you find my brother and bring him back here. Then find Sunset… she’ll be a big help. Remember, Discord is powerless here." Shining stopped at that, a sinful smile forming on his lips. "Re-he-he-he-heally?" The young man sat up and guided Cadence over to the group hug, his wife instantly glomping onto Tydal. "Take your time freeing yourself..." Shining threw back his head. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Luna at Tydal, eyes narrowing as Shining left. “Are… are you crying?” Tydal sniffed. “I’m just so proud of Captain Armor right now…” ~Meanwhile, across town…~ Discord kept twisting his head this way and that, his brow scrunched up as he looked about the library he’d found himself in. When he’d awoken he’d been surprised to discover that he was not only in a location that he’d never seen before but he was in a body he’d never assumed in the past. The strange face he wore was rather flat, with the top of his head bald and what hair he had on the back done up in a ponytail. He still had his little beard and his sole remaining fang (Tydal still refused to give back the other one), but his body, much to his annoyance, was all one shade. His arms and legs matched too and he was clothed in a rather bland brown suit. But he didn’t mind that much… because as he looked moved about the library, staring at all the other beings in the room… beings that looked exactly like the ponies of Ponyville… he found the situation so strange, so weird, he couldn’t help… BUT SING! Discord What's this? What's this? There's weird things everywhere What's this? They all have so little hair What's this? I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming Wake up, Dissy, this isn't fair What's this? What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong What's this? I rarely break into song What's this? This room is filled with bipedal creatures who stare Why do they all care? What’s the thing that I now wear!? What is this? What's this? Everyone walks on legs instead of on their hooves They are all jog about And when I dance I’ve got some moves! They are all wearing clothing Not one of them is nude And the females have boobies If I stare is that considered rude? Oh, look What's this? None of them have tails, how weird This is all so strange, so dire Are they freaks of nature to be destroyed Should I set them all on fire? What's this? What's this? In here, they've got some book, how weird no wait, its not nevermind What do they call these crazy things That are lacking horns and wings? Not a single cutie mark The CMC should fit in Yes they would Yes they would Oh, none of this makes sense! What's this? Oh my, what now? They’re telling me to shush Stop that, don’t give me a push! Try to kick me out, that isn’t fair, knock it off I am just singing, its not a big deal Every pony does it once a week! What's this? The monsters are all missing And the parasprites can't be found And in their place there seems to be Ipods all around Instead of apples, I swear I smell Teen Spirit in the air The smell of cakes and pies Is not found everywhere The sights, the sounds They're everywhere and all around I've never felt so confused before This is really messing me completely up I think I’ve had quite enough Just stop it, oh, just stop it Oh, I want to leave and go I've got to know I've got to know What is this place that I have found? What is this?!?! “Well… that was odd.” Discord turned, panting after his song (without magic doing a whole music number took it out of him) startled to find a man standing in the doorway, watching him. The new arrival had pale gray skin that had a strange reflective tint to it. His hair was black save for a single forelock that was shockingly white. He wore a dark gray suit with a black dressshirt and yellow tie and as he stood there he kept checking his reflecting in a pocket mirror he was holding. “But now that you’ve finally arrived, Superintendent Discord... and you are done with your, uh, song, the school board meeting can begin.” “School board?” Discord said, blinking in confusion. “Of course, that is why we called you here… to discuss Canterlot High.” The man turned, gesturing to six other arrivals who were waiting in the hall. “But I’m being rude… I haven’t introduced you to all of us. This is Honesty,” a massive man, nearly 7 feet tall and built like a minatour, nodded, “Kindness,” a lean, waif-like blue woman with metallic pink hair merely smiled, “Loyalty,” a gold-skinned man in a suit that cost more than most houses merely smirked at Discord, “Generosity,” a woman who looked like she’d been carved from a diamond locked eyes with the chaos god, “Laughter,” a giggly pinkish woman with midnight black hair grinned wildly at him, “and Doubt,” a woman, standing in the shadows, her skin so black it made it look like she was part of the darkness around her, glowered at Discord. The silver man held out his hand to Discord. “And you may call me… Faith.”