//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Through a Mirror Pinkly // Story: The Perfectly Normal Life of Megan Williams // by drunkenpandaren //------------------------------// "Playing the fool has made you break into stress lines, sister," said Luna from the door to Celestia's office. "And I hope that isn't vodka in that water bottle." Celestia lowered the bottle before sheepishly placing it back into her hidden fridge. "You know me too well." "Only that you get stressed, and you drink, and then I get a memo from Shining Armor to pick you up at the police station," deadpanned the younger of the two Morningstar siblings. "Now, what is this all about?" "Sunset Shimmer. She broke into my office last night, according to the security cameras and stole the crown. I checked it this morning and it's probably in her possession by now," said Celestia, heaving a tired sigh. "I warned my other self plans were in motion. She offered to send chocolate as a resolve." "I don't see why we had to play this game for such a long time," said Luna crossly. "Manipulation on this scale is not for teachers." "Nor is it for ex-researchers, either," chimed in a voice and Luna jumped. "But that's hardly the case here, now is it?" "When did you get in here, Discord?" demanded Luna as Discord whirled around in a chair nearby, looking all smug. He was using Loki Pose Number 45, which meant "I know something you don't." Not for the first time, Luna wished she really was a magical alicorn princess so she could put the insufferable Chaos Theorist through the wall. "Please, I've been in here keeping Celly company, while she laments. It's not my fault the tides of chaos are rolling in this fashion," said Discord, holding up his gloved hand and idly inspecting the fingertips. "Discord and I were making plans, in case this doesn't work out," said Celestia. "The other teachers have stated as much that Sunset's ambition is getting to a critical point, and while they've been keeping track of her, there is little to stop her from doing what she is planning." "This doesn't happen to involve throwing friendship at her, does it?" stated Luna, folding her arms. "We agreed no Equestrian magic unless used by someone FROM Equestria. You know what's out there. CHS has no defence against magical infiltration." Discord opened his mouth but Luna cut him off with a stern, "No Chaos. Honestly, even if our counterparts are practically god-queens and kings, it doesn't mean we are. We need to settle this like adults." "And hoping that Celestia's student can solve this? What do we know of her anyhow?" posed Discord, holding up a folder before flipping it open. "Twilight Sparkle, newly instated Princess of Magic. It says she is potentially the most powerful unicorn and when elevated to alicorn status, has barely scratched the surface of her potential." "Just because somepony has reached their pinnacle for the time being, doesn't mean it applies here," said Celestia, folding her hands and leaning her chin on them. "We've seen odder things in the past before." "There's no way to stymie the oncoming storm, is there?" remarked Discord idly. "What is it that Hooves always says?" "Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff?" said Luna, befuddled. "No, the other one." "Run?" "No, the OTHER one. Where no good plan survives first contact. History will tell us exactly what we need to do here," said Discord levelly. "There is much we need to do and less time to do it in." "Gather the teachers for a meeting; we'll have to discuss our next move," said Celestia firmly, shutting the folder marked "Sparkle". ===== Even ageless god-queens or princesses at this rate, could get wrinkles. Luna watched Celestia pace restlessly as the mirror was moved into place into a spare room off to the side. "Celestia calm thyself, 'twill not activate any time soon." "I know," said Celestia, heaving a sigh. "I just wish there was another way." "Thou could always journey to the other world thyself, and apologize." "No, that wouldn't work. She's too focused on getting what she wants, and it is my fault; after all, Sunset Shimmer fled to the other world already." Placing a hoof on the smooth glass that composed the surface of the horseshoe shaped mirror, Celestia could almost see her former star pupil staring back at her. "This needs to be handled in a way that I cannot make things worse." "As thou say," said Luna crossly. "We do not care for this subterfuge after all. A direct approach is more likely to work. And give us one good reason why not?" "Because I'll just wind up driving her away." Luna's expression softened as she went over to her big sister and nuzzled her gently. "Tia, we know as well as you that you regret this course of action. But now is not the time to worry. Come, teach me this spell. I will go through and make proper arrangements." "What are you saying? Luna... It's too dangerous," said Celestia, shocked. "What? Are thou saying we cannot handle a mere school? You forget who whipped the military into shape," chuckled Luna. "Now come, teach us the opening spell." Celestia looked like she wanted to argue, and then exhaled. "Fine, but only for a day. We need to re-close the portal before Sunset Shimmer discovers we have prematurely opened it." Passing along the spell, Luna went to the mirror and tapped it once. Reciting the opening spell mentally, it flared to life. ===== "This is too big," said Megan as she set the papers down. Pinkie looked up at her as she repeated herself. "This is way too big of a project, I don't even know why... there's about 1000 years worth of story here, and I don't know how to par it down!" "That's going to be a problem. We've got the first draft worked up but nothing else from it." Pinkie shuffled the papers aside, looking through them one by one. "Fifteen pages. What's the minimum?" "Four," said Megan with a tired groan. "We need to focus on something here, something that won't break us when we work on it." "Time is running short," agreed Pinkie. "I've got to start setting up for the Fall Formal in about a week. Sunset is even more crazy, if you can believe that. Someone's gotta get her a chill pill." "Yeah, bleah, I think I need a walk. You coming, Pink?" Pinkie shook her head. "I'll stay here and keep looking through it. We might be able to focus on something that we missed." "All right." Grabbing her coat, Megan headed out the door and stretched on the stop. "Okay, let's see where this brings me today..." Heading down the cul de sac where her house was, she turned to the left. Normally turning to the right would loop around the area and allow her to return quickly. But Megan was planning on figuring this all out. The cool late-summer/early-fall breeze felt good as Megan headed for the school. There didn't seem to be anyone around today, using the facilities. Often more than not, Coach Iron Will kept the shed unlocked for his students to use. "This place is so nice when it's not being overrun by Shimmer," said Megan as she leaned against the statue. "I wonder if..." A cracking noise made her jump as Megan turned, and without warning the wall began to bubble and froth for a moment. Backing up in alarm at the distinctly unnatural appearance of a stone block, a woman came hurling out of it and hit the ground rolling. "What, who, I don't even...! Vice-Principal Luna?" stammered Megan in alarm as the dusky skinned woman dizzily sat up. "'Tis quite a ride," she stated in her usual rich tones as she held her head. "Tia never said anything about how rough that travel was on one's stomach. Oh, how curious! Digits!" Luna wiggled her fingers rapidly, spinning them around and wobbling her legs like jelly before she stood up and nearly fell over. "Oh! Two legs, my, this will be interesting. Now, to find my counterpart and make arrangements." As Luna walked away on two unsteady legs, Megan slipped out from behind her hiding spot where she had ducked behind the statue. She wanted to call out to Luna but her curiosity got the better of her. Moving out to the front of the statue, she looked at the surface. It looked normal to her, and Megan said, "That couldn't really have happened, could it?" Reaching out slowly, Megan attempted to touch the stone when suddenly a head popped into view. "What's going on, Megan?" "AH!" Leaping back, Megan hyperventilated for a moment as Pinkie dropped down from the top of the statue. "Pinkie, I just, don't even...! Look, didn't you see that?" "What, you mean the weird Luna coming out of the statue? Saw it with my two eyes!" exclaimed Pinkie with a grin. "Come on, let's go through to Neverland!" "Wait, what? Pinkie, no, NOOOOOOOOO!" Too late. Pinkie shoved her forward and Megan hit the portal. Pinkie then jumped in with a "Wheeeeeeeeee!" Impact. With a groan, Megan hit the floor and Pinkie landed on top of her. "Pinkie off!" She yelled, trying to push up on her legs and finding herself with wobbly legs and hands. "What was that for, this was a totally weird thing, we could have died!" "No way, silly, that's like a two-way street," giggled Pinkie as she popped into view. "AH PONY!" Megan looked down. "MY HANDS! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HANDS?! AND MY CLOTHES?!" "Look, Ma, I'm NAKED!" exclaimed Pinkie, standing on her two hind legs and Megan realized to her shock that they were now ponies. Little, colorful, pastel ponies. "Mirror, I need a mirror!" Scrambling towards the nearest mirror that wasn't enchanted, Megan looked at herself and gawked. Gone was the human features, her hands, body and feet. Four hooves, a long length of blonde hair--no, a mane--tied back. Muzzle, which was actually kind of cute; big expressive eyes. And there was Pinkie bouncing around like she didn't care. "Okay, self, this is all a dream. Clearly, you just fell asleep during homework, and now, this is a dream," said Megan, getting down and rubbing her head. "If this is a dream, can we do this?" said Pinkie, tugging at Megan's face. Megan yelped in pain. "So... I guess that hurts?" "Yes, Pinkie, now leggo," said Megan as her face snapped back into place. "We should go back through that portal and pretend this never happened--why do you have a butt tattoo now?" "It's a cutie mark," said Pinkie, showing off the three balloons on her flank. "Duh!" "The hay is a cutie mark?" demanded Megan, looking at it before checking her own flank. A stylized compass was placed firmly on her flank, and she raised an eyebrow. "What does this stand for exactly?" "Adventure!" proclaimed Pinkie in a loud voice. The door slammed open as a pair of guards stood there in alarm. "We heard a commotion...! Intruders!" "Oooh, wiggly nose! Time to do what the Doctor always says!" exclaimed Pinkie, and Megan looked at her curiously. "RUUUUUUUUUN!" And the pair bolted past the guards, who were too startled to eck out a reply. Somewhere, the Benny Hill song was playing. ===== "What is all the commotion?" asked Cadance, sticking her head out of the private chambers, where she was most definitely not taking time to snuggle her Shining Armor in-between stressful meetings. "It's-a intruder, Your Highness!" exclaimed one of the plumbers, the red-overall clad pony skidding to a halt with his lanky brother in green running up next to him. "They have-a taken the guard for a run around the castle-a!" "Oh for the love of the sun," groaned Cadance as Shining Armor stuck his head out as well. The green-clad brother gestured to his mane and Shining smoothed down a errant cowlick from his snuggling. "Did anypony ask if they were causing actual trouble, or did the guards jump a hapless tourist again?" "We... do not know," admitted the green pony. "All we know is that one of them matches the Bearer of Laughter. The other sort of looks like the Honesty Bearer, but she sports a compass for a cutie mark." "Well, it's probably not Daring Do," said Shining. "I'll go get the guard to stop chasing them, so that we can actually talk. Before the whole place explodes." "What would Pinkie be doing way up here? And without writing a letter first?" remarked Cadance. "Where did they come from?" "The guard said that they found them in a side room, full-a brick-a-brack! Second floor, left wing," answered the red pony and the pair looked at each other in alarm. "Is-a it something I said?" "Left wing, second floor, are you certain? But the only room there of note is..." Shining turned towards them. "Inform the guard we have a potential cross-dimensional incursion. Let's, for the moment, assume they're not hostile, just scared. After all, if I lost my hands, I would be frightened too." "Yes-a, Your Highness," said the green pony, turning to go. "Oh, by the way: what-a are hands?" ===== "This is bad, this is bad, this is really, really bad!" exclaimed Megan as the pair charged around the castle. "Do we even know where we're going?" "Nope, that's the fun of it!" exclaimed Pinkie, bouncing along in what Megan figured was some kind of pronk. Megan looked over her shoulder at the angry guards chasing them. "They have SPEARS, Pinkie." "Oh don't worry, they won't use them." Megan rolled her eyes as she turned the corner. "Now, I really wish we didn't get together today." "Oh, don't say that, this is more fun!" As the pair turned, a hoof reached out of a nearby room and pulled the pair, shutting the door just as soon as the guards charged around the corner. Megan struggled in the hooves of her captor. "Lemme go, lemme go!" "Hey, hey, it's okay, you two are just lost, right?" came the voice and Megan ceased struggling. "Flash?" Looking at him, the features were somewhat similar, but that shock of blue mane was obviously familiar, as Pinkie had settled for hopping in one spot. He let go and Megan backed up. "Wait, you're not Flash Sentry, are you?" "I didn't think I'd be known by a couple of lost tourists," chuckled Flash. "So, you know me?" "Kiiiinda," said Megan. "We're from an alternate world where there are humans everywhere and the three of us go to a school run by Principal Celestia and there's a really mean girl named Sunset Shimmer who lords over the place and you play in a band with a guitar and just recently broken up with Sunset because she is a really, really big meanie pants and we came through a magic portal on the second floor on the left wing!" The pair looked over at Pinkie, who grinned. "... I see." Flash shook his head as he sighed. "Well, I suppose I should inform the rulers we've kept you two from running away, but maybe we should put you back through this 'magic portal' thing." "Wait, this is a kingdom?" asked Megan. "Who are the rulers here?" The door swung open as a row of spears were levelled at the pair. "At ease, men!" exclaimed a familiar voice, and Shining Armor walked in, along with Cadance. "Well, they were at least telling the truth about who we had here..." "... Shining? Cadance?" said Megan. "I don't think I can handle it." "It's Sunday. It's supposed to be weird," answered Pinkie sagely. "I thought that was supposed to be Thursday?" asked Cadance. "No way, silly! If it were Thursday, school would be in and this would be MUCH harder to come through a portal. Seeing how Fluttershy canvasses in front of it every morning," said Pinkie. "... Go get Princess Celestia," said Shining, turning towards Flash, who saluted. "And tell her we've got humans on this side. Pinkie Pie obviously and...?" "Megan, Megan Williams." Shining had a moment to double-take before saying, "Megan. And hurry, she's probably tucking down for cake right now." ===== Three incidents of jaywalking, two near-misses, and paying for a calzone with a solid gold coin, Princess Luna was utterly lost in the city. "This place is far too busy for our taste," said Luna, finishing her food with two large bites. "Truly, we cannot understand how Tia handled traveling here." Turning down the street into a residential zone, Luna found herself in front of a large house with a fenced-up gate. "Ah, 'tis sure the rulers' home," she said, rattling the gate and finding it unlocked. "Such security for a world like this..." Moving up to the door, Luna rapped at it four times briskly. For a long moment, there was no answer and Luna rapped again. "Just a minute!" came a voice from behind the door. Soon, it opened up as a violet-haired girl opened up the door with an apology. "Sorry about that, I was in the middle of some science, and I couldn't put it down and I thought Shining was here. Can I help you?" Luna cocked an eyebrow imperiously, and in confusion. "Twilight... Sparkle?" "Yessssss? Can I help you?" "Yip, yip, yip!" A small purple and green form shot out at Luna and she yelped, stumbling back as a tiny dog barked at her heels, his tongue waggling. "Oh, that's just Spike, he's a little softie." Picking up the dog, Luna managed to regain her equilibrium. "Um, was there's something you wanted, ma'am?" "Luna, will suffice, and yes we are looking for, um, our sister Celestia. Is she here?" "No, just me. Are you talking about Principal Celestia? She lives three blocks down that way." "Oh, forgive me. We did not know that the rulers of this city lived separately." At this, Twilight raised an eyebrow, both at the statement and Luna's imperious "we." "What doth her palace look like?" "Um, well, she doesn't live in a palace, more like a penthouse but she's down three blocks, and hang a left. Celestial Avenue. Are you okay?" "We have never felt better in our lives, just a little unsteady," answered Luna. "Time is of the essence." And she hopped once. And again. And then cursed. "Moon-felled... We forgot we do not have wings in this world." Twilight tilted her head before saying, "Um, maybe you should come in. I'll get my brother to bring you to Celestia's place." Entering the room, Luna doffed those odd things on her feet before stepping in. Closing the door, Twilight set Spike down, who circled Luna's feet and yipped once in delight. "Can I get you anything while I call my brother?" "Anything will suffice, thank you." The home felt well lived in despite its size. Clearly Twilight Velvet and Night Light did well for themselves. Various awards lined the shelves, some of which were academic for both Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle alike. A graduation picture with Shining in a Mortarboard and his arms around a familiar pink head of hair made Luna smile. So her niece managed to capture the Captain of the Guard's attention again. Or, if the tale was recounted to her accurately, it was most likely the other way around. Returning to the living room, Twilight held out a soda with a straw. Taking it, Luna sipped it and nearly coughed as the bubbles hit her tongue. "Oooh, sorry. Are you not used to soda?" "We... *cough* have never had it before...!" Taking another more cautious sip, she nodded. "It is sweet." "Shining Armor will be back in about ten minutes. Sit down if you want. I'm just in the middle of studies but I can definitely visit. Principal Celestia's a old family friend, though I've never met you before." "Luna," said Luna. "I am her younger sister." "Oh, well then! That explains a lot," said Twilight, clasping her hands in glee. "Principal Celestia visits a lot, but I've never really gotten a chance to speak with you. What is she like in private?" "Well, she is cake-happy," said Luna automatically. "Any form of cake is swiftly devoured in front of her. It is a wonder how she keeps her figure. Her skill with magic..." "Magic doesn't exist," said Twilight automatically. "Stage magic," corrected Luna and Twilight said "ooooh okay," "is top notch. We are surprised she has not shown you any of it." "I never got around to it. I was trying to get into the gifted school for most of my life, so when I finally got around to it, Principal Celestia was already running CHS. Not that I wanted not to go there, but there's some classes in the Equestrian City School for Gifted Youngsters I can't take in CHS," admitted Twilight. "Do you like it there?" asked Luna, wondering how Twilight was taking her separation from obviously a large figure in her life. "I... well, it's hard to explain. I like it at my private school, and I have friends, I just feel like sometimes I'm missing the chaos of a less upper-crust school. Not that CHS isn't good, I just dunno sometimes." Luna had to admit that was the most Twilight-esque response. Not knowing what she wanted, and yet she did. It was clear she was happy where she was, but being happier still in Celestia's school could be even more for her than expected. At that moment, the front door opened as a uniformed officer stepped in, and Twilight looked up. "Oh, BBBFE, thanks for coming." "Not a problem," said Shining, pausing to give his sister a affectionate hug. "So, are you ready to go?" "Yes please. The sooner we speak with my sister the better," said Luna. "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle, for your time and the drink." "It's no problem. Thanks for reminding me I should visit Principal Celestia more often." With a fond smile, Twilight hugged the older woman before Shining lead her to the car. Once inside the car, Shining turned to her as she struggled with the seat belt. "It goes like this," he said, clipping it in for her. "You're not Vice-Principal Luna, are you?" "Whatever gave you that idea," said Luna, raising a eyebrow. "She never uses 'we.' In fact, she thinks Shakespeare is a nonsense subject." Starting the car, he grinned. "Welcome to Equestria City, Princess Luna. I'll take you Principal Celestia immediately." "So you are aware of the portal then. Good to know." Shining glanced over at Luna. "You do realize that this whole situation's pretty much driven Celestia to drink, right?" "We keep telling Tia she should have solved this ages ago," scoffed Luna. "We will reprimand her when we get back." "How long is the portal open for anyhow?" asked Shining. "It's not yet time, is it?" "Nay, we forced it open for the time being. It will close in three days." "Oh, well, what could possibly go wrong then?" ===== "Nice hair," said Megan, as that was about all she could say when the guards brought her and Pinkie to Princess Celestia. She had expected some kind of pony in a business suit, not a nearly horse-sized mare with wings and a horn. And certainly not with her mane flowing like that. "Why, thank you, but I must admit it is surprising to see visitors on this side of the portal," said Celestia. "Especially the two of you, no less." "Well, when Vice-Principal Luna comes stumbling out of a stone statue, you kind of have to adjust quickly," said Megan sheepishly. "So what is this place, some kind of ponyland?" "This is Equestria, far up north in the kingdom of the Crystal Empire," replied Celestia, making the pair blink in surprise. "I have heard that you two are actually doing a report on this." "Ha wha, bwah, guh?" enunciated Megan. "Are you psychic?" asked Pinkie. "Because that is totally awesome if you are!" "No, my little pony, I am not psychic, but I have been known to dabble in magic once in a while," laughed Celestia. "As much as we'd love to extend hospitality to you two, I am afraid that our time is short. We are on a deadline." "Wait, hold on, back the buck up. Equestria, is real. Alicorns are real, ponies are real, this is all real. WHY is there a book and a magic portal in our school?" demanded Megan. "That is a long story. And it is my fault to begin with, as there is somepony there who has been turning her eyes on our world for quite some time. And if it's of any concern, she may very well be trouble." "Princess, there's trouble." Everyone cringed as a panicked guard ran in. "Two of our guards have been incapacitated by a stunning spell, and the intruder has escaped into town." "What did the intruder look like?" asked Cadance as Shining went to direct the guards. "She... she's a blue mare, white in her hair, and a unicorn. She came through the portal, and left this behind." The guard held up a odd package and Megan recognized it immediately. "Peanut butter crackers?" "Oh yeah, I forgot that Trixie was doing a performance in front of the school statue today!" exclaimed Pinkie suddenly. ===== "Did anyone else wonder where Trixie went?" asked Flitter as the small crowd of students watched as the smoke cleared to a cloth on the ground and no blue stage magician in sight. "I dunno, it's like she vanished into thin air," remarked Caramel. "You think she's coming back?" "Maybe?" asked Cloudchaser. "It's not like she just fell into another dimension or anything." A pause. And then Flitter giggled. "Yeah right, what are the odds of that happening?"