Pinkie opened the window and silently stepped into the room. The lights were out, save for a small candle burning in the far reaches of the inner sanctum.
“Which way Gummy?” Pinkie whispered after she pulled the alligator inside.
Gummy looked around momentarily, seeming uncertain about something. He turned his head this way and that, sniffing the air. Then he lowered his head and growled.
That’s when Pinkie got a twitch. Achy front right hoof. Watch out for traps. It seemed somepony around here had finally wised up to her. If Sire Dressage’s whereabouts was indeed on this floor, then perhaps it was him. Pinkie couldn’t take the chance of being caught now. She touched her front hooves together and concentrated. It had been a while since she used a jutsu like this. Not since the second time she had had to catch a thief named Burgle.
After she finished concentrating, she put a hoof on the wall. Then a second. Then a third. Then a fourth. Slowly, and quietly she walked up the wall until she reached the ceiling. She looked around, but she couldn’t see anything in the darkness, only the small candle. Making use of her jutsu, Pinkie crawled cautiously across the ceiling as Gummy held on to her back. Slowly, slowly, Pinkie came closer to the lit candle and paused. At the edge of the light, she spotted a pony. He just sat there, his eyes closed, arms crossed. He had a long grey mustache that hung off his muzzle and Pinkie could just make out his cutie mark, which resembled a commanding officer’s military hat. Deciding it was now or never, Pinkie silently dropped from the ceiling.
“Sire Dressage?”
The pony opened his eyes, looking only a little surprised to see her standing there.
“Well, well, you really do look like a ninja. And in pink too. I really have to commend you. You’ve put my men through quite an ordeal out there.”
“Well I’m not here to fight or anything. I’ve got a message for you from Princess Celestia.”
“Celestia? Bah. That old mare needs to get off her high horse and see the big picture. The world is moving on and doesn’t need the likes of her anymore. And as for you…,” Dressage whistled, and the lights came on. Then some fifty ponies entered the room, surrounding Pinkie and Gummy. “You didn’t really think I of all ponies would underestimate my enemies? Even a clown like you should have seen that coming.” Dressage chuckled to himself as his army of pony guards pawed at the ground, looking ready to charge. “Captain, I’ll leave her in your hooves. Get rid of her, while I walk carelessly into the other room and await your results.”
“Sir,” The captain acknowledged as Sire Dressage made the arrogant exit that all villains seem to make.
“Hmmm. Should have saved the rubber chicken,” Pinkie said, looking around the room at all the ponies ready to make cotton candy out of her. A master of parties would have a hard time dealing with this crowd, even a ninja party maker. She turned to Gummy who didn’t appear to be even the least bit concerned. “Well Gummy, it looks like we’ll have to resort to our secret weapon. Cough it up little buddy.”
With that command issued, Gummy coughed up a wisp of green fire that turned into a scroll. The guards, already familiar with Pinkie’s tricks by now, poised themselves, not quite ready to take the initiative against her. Pinkie grabbed up the scroll and unrolled it on the ground, revealing that it contained a series of foreign words and symbols on it.
“I apologize ahead of time for this. It’s kind of mean,” she said to the captain. Pinkie made a series of signs with her hooves, that shouldn’t have been possible for a creature with no fingers, before stabbing the scroll with her hoof and shouting, “Ninja Summoning!”
A cloud of smoke burst around Pinkie and the scroll, and the guards made ready to charge. When the smoke cleared, something new was sitting where the scroll had been. Something unexpected. Something ridiculous. Something that was a strange color of yellow and pink.
“Um… what?” Fluttershy stammered as she dropped the hairbrush that she had been using to brush her mane before bed. She looked around, quite confused.
“Summoning successful,” Pinkie said proudly. There was a brief silence in the room before it suddenly exploded in laughter.
“Pinkie?” Fluttershy murmured, noticing the pink earth pony standing behind her. “What’s going on? And why are you dressed like that?” As she finished asking, her bunny, Angel, suddenly hopped into view from behind her.
“You ready to go, Angel?” Pinkie asked him. Angel nodded and made a stereotypical kung-fu pose as he wailed a stereotypical kung-fu scream.
“Huh?” Fluttershy was even more confused now.
“Sorry Fluttershy, but this one is going to require both of you.”
“What’s going to what? Pinkie Pie I don’t-” She cut off when Pinkie made another series of signs and poked Fluttershy in the forehead. Fluttershy’s pupils shrank down as if someone had just taken a picture with a bright flash.
Through all this, the laughter of the guard ponies hadn’t stopped. None of them had had this good a laugh in months. “A little girly Pegasus and a rabbit?” One of the guards finally said through tears. “I’m soooo scared now.” He erupted into another bout of laughter.
Fluttershy on the other hoof smiled. “Oh no, you won’t be scared.” As she spoke in her usual quiet and calm voice, her cutie mark of three pink butterflies morphed into three red flames. “In fact, I think you’re going to LOVE ME!” She screamed and charged alongside Angel into the unsuspecting guards. They really should have known better by now.
With Fluttershy and Angel doing their job, Pinkie Pie and Gummy were free to chase after Sire Dressage as the sounds of serious flank kicking echoed behind them.
Sire Dressage looked up from his usual map studying when he heard the door open. He appeared surprisingly calm when Pinkie and Gummy entered the room.
“I expected that you might have a chance of defeating my guards but I certainly didn’t expect it so soon.” The only thing that belied his calm face was the single bead of sweat that dripped down it.
“Yeah, well, you know.” Pinkie waved a hoof at him dismissively. “In any case Dressage, I’m here because you’ve been a real mean meanie pants to everypony. You really need to be nicer.”
“A mean meanie… what? I hardly know what you’re even saying.”
“It’s easy peasy, Sire Dressage. Just listen.” Pinkie stood up on her hind legs, started kicking one leg in the air and began singing, “You gotta care! You gotta share!”
“What the hay is this?” Dressage interrupted. “I don’t care if you sing it or say it or whatever. I’m going to do what I’m going to do. I don’t care what anypony else says.”
Pinkie got back down on all fours and cocked her head to one side. “Why doesn’t anypony like that song? Is it really that hard to understand? I thought the meaning was pretty clear.”
“Would you shut up? I don’t have time for your ridiculous nonsense. If this is really all you’ve got then I’m washing my hooves of you. Get out of my fortress!”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot,” Pinkie said, pulling out the letter from her pocket. “So anyway Dressage, I’ve still got a message for you.”
“And I still don’t care. So why don’t you just leave before one of us gets hurt?” He stepped out from behind the table. For the first time, Pinkie noticed the sword at his hip. Dressage stood up on his hind legs and drew the sword with both hooves. “There’s a reason I get so much respect around here. I’ve never once lost a fight.”
Pinkie sighed. She stood up on her hind legs again and slowly drew her own sword. Dressage lowered his slightly when he saw it.
“Is that sword made of plastic?” He said stunned. “Are you trying to mock me?”
“You know, when I was a filly I took my job as a ninja very seriously. I took pleasure in hunting my quarries down and hospitalizing them. But nowadays, I don’t like violence. It doesn’t do anything but make ponies sad, and being sad is just sad.”
“Oh cry me a river. Is this supposed to get you sympathy or something? I don’t care what I have to do. This country is mine and soon I will take over Equestria too. Celestia will bow before me. And any pony that supports her will serve me or hang. And some pony in a pink getup isn’t going to stop me.”
Pinkie didn’t move so much as a muscle and her eyes were partially closed. Then suddenly she spoke. “My best friends support Celestia. Are you saying you would hang them too?”
Dressage glared at her and held his sword out in an attacking stance. “Did I stutter? And what of it?”
Abruptly, Pinkie swung her sword one time.
Dressage raised an eyebrow. She was all the way on the other side of the room and if she was trying to intimidate him…
The sound of metal hitting the floor rang out and Dressage realized he was only holding the hilt of a sword with no blade. As he glanced on the floor looking at the broken metal, his mustache suddenly snipped in half, the hairs falling silently. Dressage could feel more sweat beading down his face when his heart skipped a beat. He looked up at the strange intruder before him and saw her eyes. Looking into her eyes was like staring death in the face. That’s when he remembered an old adage: ‘He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day.’
Giving no confidant explanation to the pink pony, Dressage turned and ran. Maybe he wouldn’t rule Equestria today or tomorrow, but someday. As he rounded the corner, he ran straight into something pink.
Pinkie stared nose to nose at Dressage. “How did… how did you…?” Dressage said confused.
“Why would you do something like conquering Equestria you big jerk!?” She shouted at him.
Dressage turned back around and fled. How in the hay had she gotten in front of him? There were no other hallways leading out of his quarters. Back in his room, Dressage headed for the window, figuring that the only way out now was to scale the wall. Just as he jumped on the windowsill, intending to climb down, he saw a pink ninja in the way, hanging upside-down by a tiny wire, with her hooves crossed on front of her.
“You’re a bad pony, Sire Dressage,” Pinkie said, shaking her head as if ashamed.
“I don’t need to be judged by a freak like you!” Dressage shouted, jumping off the sill.
Dressage ran to the back of the room and pushed the bookcase aside, revealing the safe room he had had installed for the most unexpected of emergencies. This was definitely one of those times. He ran inside and locked it. The only way to unlock the door now was through the pass code terminal in the back of the safe room.
Dressage peered through the peephole, but didn’t see any sign of the crazy pink ninja. Breathing hard in satisfaction, Dressage turned around. It shouldn’t have been any surprise what he saw in front of him.
That’s right, a baby alligator. Giving Dressage a sinister smile, Gummy pushed a series of buttons on the console he was standing on and the door opened. A pink ninja stood in the doorway.
Dressage backed up slowly. Pinkie slowly walked towards him.
“Oh come on! What do you want from me? I thought you didn’t like violence?” Dressage wailed as his flank hit the wall.
“When you threatened Equestria, you threatened my friends, and friends are something worth protecting. But you wouldn’t understand the magic of friendship now would you?” Pinkie stood up on her hind legs and drew her sword again. “I don’t like violence, but friendship is something I cherish more than anything else. When I look at you, I see the old me, willing to do whatever it took to complete my missions, no matter who may have been hurt. The old me still bubbles up every now and then and it can be hard to control sometimes.” She took a few steps forward as Dressage stared at her wide-eyed, his back flat against the wall. Pinkie spoke with a menacing tone. “In that light, I have only one thing to ask you Dressage. Do you wanna party with me? Well? Do ya?”
Though there were tears in his eyes, Dressage smiled nervously. “Nope. I’m good. I give up.”
“Oh that’s good, cause I don’t like violence,” Pinkie said cheerfully. Dressage sat on his rump, feeling as if he had just seen his life flash before his eyes. “Now about this message?” Pinkie said, producing the letter from Princess Celestia. Dressage continued to smile nervously as he took it with a shivering hoof.
Pinkie walked casually out of Sire Dressage’s office. Negotiations had gone well and Dressage had signed a document of reformation and peace. He had even stamped a seal on it to prove it was notarized.
As Pinkie Pie closed the door behind her and made her way down the long hallway, she walked into what had been a horrible carnage the likes of which could never have been shown on a children’s television show. The guard ponies were strewn about the room, heavily injured, not dead, unable to put up a fight anymore.
“Please! Call her off!” One of only two remaining conscious guards wailed as Fluttershy held him by the scruff with her teeth and shook him violently. The only other standing guard was promptly knocked out by Angel’s kung-fu kick to the face.
“Oopsy. Forgot about that.” Pinkie giggled before whistling loudly.
Fluttershy’s cutie mark morphed back into pink butterflies and she dropped the guard who now had swirls in his eyes. “Huh?” She looked around horrified. “Oh my… oh my goodness… what happened to them?”
“Sorry again Fluttershy. And thanks.” Pinkie made a series of signs and poked Fluttershy on the forehead again. This time, Fluttershy wobbled and fell on the ground, asleep. Pinkie turned to Angel. “Good work Angel. You two did great.” Angel gave her a thumbs up. “Hope to work with you again some time.”
Angel bowed to her. Then he performed a reverse summoning spell with a series of hand signs and both he and Fluttershy vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving only the original summoning scroll behind.
Pinkie picked up the scroll and fed it to Gummy, where it would be safe. “Guess we’re done here, Gummy. Let’s go.” Pinkie clapped her hooves together and vanished in a puff of smoke.
“Good heavens Fluttershy, what ever happened to your beautiful hair?” Rarity said as she proceeded to comb out Fluttershy’s mane.
“I couldn’t find my hairbrush this morning. I looked everywhere but I have no idea what happened to it.”
‘Whoops.’ Pinkie thought to herself. Fluttershy’s hairbrush was probably still in Bangtail.
“Pinkie!” Twilight suddenly shouted as soon as she walked in to Sugarcube Corner. “What happened yesterday? I came back to Sugarcube Corner later and the Cakes said you had disappeared. I noticed that it’s not the first time you’ve suddenly disappeared around here. Where were you?”
Pinkie looked at her and smiled. “Oh Twilight, are you mad that I cut the party short? I’m sorry. But I completely forgot that I was supposed to visit my mom and dad yesterday. I was totally late, so I had to hurry.”
Twilight stared at Pinkie, not sure what to say. “Well I guess that could be true but uh…,” She looked around the room at her other friends who were busily eating cake and talking happily with one another. Pinkie’s new party had only just started and an accusation had been the first thing to come out of Twilight’s mouth. “Never mind, it’s really not important.” Then she smiled at Pinkie. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking things like that just because one of my friends acts a little strange. After all, losing trust is the first step to losing a friend, right?”
“Forever!” Pinkie Pie finished. Twilight and Pinkie laughed.
“You know, I had the strangest dream last night,” Fluttershy said to Rarity. “And even weirder was this strange taste I had in my mouth when I woke up.”
Dear Princess Celestia,
Friendship is a wonderful thing that you should never take for granted. Earlier today, I carelessly accused my friend Pinkie Pie of being up to something strange, but in the end, I really shouldn’t have been so quick to jump to conclusions. No matter how strange or different your friends may be, that is just what makes them who they are. I believe it is what makes them unique and what makes your friendship with them all the more special.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.
Celestia smiled as she read Twilight’s letter. Twilight was such a good and acute student, which is why she was so proud of her. Twilight had noticed Pinkie Pie’s odd behavior, even more odd than usual. As a result, Pinkamena had been forced to come up with yet another excuse as to why she was the way she was. Pinkamena had had to keep up with her persona of party happy pony for so long that it had ceased to be her mask and became who she now was.
“Oh my faithful student, if only I could tell you the truth.” Celestia sighed, not in sadness but more in reluctance. She put Twilight’s letter away and picked up another letter that had arrived a few hours before. She opened it and reread its contents.
Dear Princess,
Mission accomplished. Sire Dressage signed the enclosed document stating his revisal of policy and wishes of peace with Canterlot. I’ll now go back to Ponyville and continue my ongoing mission of protecting my friend, Twilight.
Love, the Pink Ninja
“Thank you Pinkamena,” Celestia said aloud. “I no longer regret forcing you to befriend Twilight. It seems you’ve become friends beyond my orders.” Celestia put the letter away and pulled out a fresh piece of paper to send a return letter to Twilight. “Perhaps the day you can stop being a ninja and just be Pinkie Pie, will come soon.” Celestia smiled as she started writing her letter.
The End