//------------------------------// // Cold Grey Misery // Story: Never Alone // by New Spark //------------------------------// --------------------------------------Cottoncandy Soldier’s POV------------------------------ The steady torrent of bone-chilling rain against the dark gray sky reflected the torrent of bone-chilling, dark gray misery inside Cottoncandy Soldier, or CS as he liked to call himself. The gray apart buildings all around him were cloaked in shadow, much like his future. Though he was nineteen, he felt like a lost six-year-old, desperately wanting someone to hold on to. He walked on through the storm, shivering, his umbrella not doing much to guard against the rain. There were a few other ponies around him, none of them made eye contact. Alone. That’s all CS ever felt these days. Ever since he’d moved out of his parents’ house, that’s all he’d felt. He woke up alone, in a cold. He drove to work in his small car, alone. He worked, programming computers, alone. Sure, he interacted with people there, but it never got over that formal, business level. And then he went back home alone. Sat on the couch, all alone, made himself dinner, all alone, and went to sleep, on that same, cold small bed. As he got to his building, tears formed in his eyes, blurring his vision. The air seemed to turn thick, pressing down on his heart and making it hard to move. Taking a deep, shaky breath and gathering himself together, he pushed the door open and dried his feet at the rough mat at the door. Then he proceeded to walk up the gray concrete steps, each step sending a numbing chill to his hooves. He walked down the hallway to his apartment, his thoughts multiplying in the silence. Throughout his whole life, he had been an outcast. He was a lonely foal as long as he could remember, sitting in alone in the corner during lunch. He was a lonely teenager, his awkward looks making all the other foals turn away. Fillies rejecting him, harshly, at every turn of the road. He;d felt like … like he wasn’t accepted on the face of this Earth. Like everyone just wanted him dead. At least there was his family then, though. His mother and his father and his older brother, they;d all been there to accompany him throughout his life. Now he didn’t even have that. His brother had grown up and moved away when he was thirteen, and had found a beautiful mare to spend his life with. And now CS had grown up and moved away, except this sibling wasn’t as lucky when it came to the matter of romance. The sight of the door to his apartment put his thoughts on pause, as he reluctantly turned the metal doorknob with his magic, throwing his saddlebag on the floor and thumping down on the faded green couch in frustration. he wasn’t like this on all days. Usually, he was full of energy and ready to be put to work or play. But now sheer depression had just exhausted him. He’d hoped that maybe, the environment of adulthood would be better. That he might make some friends at trade school. But those hopes were crushed within the first week. He met one colt, who he thought could maybe be his friend, but even that colt had a marefriend and a “life,” and therefore no time for him. And the mares. Gosh, those were the meanest bitches he’d ever encountered. Everyone seemed to have a life, and a marefriend and friends. Everyone except him. He didn’t hate anyone, he was never mean, and he tried to be nice, but nothing worked. Wherever he went, he was always labeled an “ugly nerd,” and was never even given a chance. Was this just his destiny, wasn’t it. Unfortunately. God, he hated destiny. He hated feeling like he was never going to find anyone. He hated feeling like he would never find peace in his life, or the magic of friendship. He hated feeling like the society he lived in wanted him dead. He turned gt up from his position on the couch, and spotted his reflection in a window. He was thin and tall. His fur was a light pastel blue, and his mane was a light brown. His eyes were big and a brilliant sky blue. The type that one could gaze into for hours and smile and feel their hearts grow warm. But he never saw any of this. He just saw mare after mare calling him ugly. He just saw overly bony cheeks and and a really nerdy mouth a totally un-hot body. He hated the way he looked. He hated himself. “Bzzzz bzz” the phone in his saddle bag started buzz, and he went over to get it. It was exactly what he wanted to see, a notification that Whirlwind had texted him. That filly. The only friend he had. A soft candle of light among the frightening dark. “Busy day?” it read. Cottoncandy Fire smiled, just a bit. And his eyes teared up again. “Busy? That doesn’t begin to describe it. I’ve had a horrible day. I’m all alone and going through the worst period of my life,” he answered. One minute passed, two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, five minutes, six minutes, and finally a reply came. “Sweetheart. <3 Just bear through it baby.” This didn’t fix anything. But I guess it helped. Time to get to work. And if he had time after, he could maybe play Equestria Calling, the best video game that had ever happened to him. -------------------------------------Whirlwind’s POV---------------------------------------------- Has CF read my text yet? How is that sweet colt? What’s he doing? When will he respond to me? These were honestly the only things Whirlwind could think of as she walked home from school. There was a lot of homework, and she’d do it. The world was a cruel, horrible, fascist place, and she’d deal with it. There were millions upon millions of children dying each day and she’d try to help them. Global Warming would kill them all by the time she died, and she was sure humanity would live through it. She had Cottoncandy Soldier and that’s more or less all she needed. Before she’d met CS she’d been … not at peace with herself, or her life. Sure she’d had a lot of friends. Or she thought she had. She’d honestly only had a crowd of people to hang out with. I mean, the only time they paid attention to her was when she was doing something outrageous, such as pole dance on the soccer nets. They never ally liked her, just the laughs that she brought. Even her closest buddies were constantly trying to whether trick or pressure her into doing something she didn’t feel comfortable doing. They were technically nice to her, but judging by the bit of viciousness in their eyes, the bit of trickery in their eyes, she could tell that they cared nothing about her. But for a reason she did not know, she always found herself running back to them. Trying so hard to impress them. he didn’t even want their affection, just their attention. She always felt incomplete when she was with them. She smiled, because she felt like smiling, but it wasn’t a content smile. It didn’t feel warm and peaceful and ecstatic and loved and free. It felt incomplete, like she was trying so hard to be something that she wasn’t. Because that was what she was doing. Being with them felt like being on a rollercoaster, and reminiscing their memories felt like waiting for a death sentence. She was constantly looking for a way to make them like her, though she knew not why. He early childhood was spent without “conventional” friends so I guess that was why she was always looking for a crowd. But gosh, the crowd she was in made her feel like more of an outcast than a lack of a crowd ever did. They made her hate herself and her life and honestly, by the time a school year was over, the pressure from teachers, students and the world in general had stolen her motivation. And CS brought it back. He was an amount of kind, a level of kind that nobody outside of her family had ever been to her. She could be herself around him. She could tell him everything. She knew that he loved her. He didn’t just hang out with her to hang out with someone. She didn’t just deal with her in order to get something. HE. LOVED. HER. And he was her waking thought. He was the reason she washed her face and brushed her hair and smiled. He was the first name her mind thought of when she thought of happiness. He meant so much to her. She just hoped she knew him. CS I honestly honestly hope you find happiness in you life, because by Celestia, you’ve made my life so damn awesome. You showed me what friendship is. You’ve shown me what love is. You’ve shown me what it is to be accepted. You’ve shown me what it is to be myself. and I hope above hope that you find yourself and that you find peace and love. I hope you find all the things you’ve shown me. You mean so much to me. I hope you know that. I know how horrible Equestria is right now. I know how some people are just treated so unjustly.