//------------------------------// // Scootaloo's Confession // Story: Something is Missing // by Charles Spratt //------------------------------// “Well, it all started about a week ago, during recess." Scootaloo began. "Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were sick that day, so I was the only crusader at school. I was just relaxing on the slide, looking up at the clouds, dreaming about how I would one day soar through them as easily as Rainbow Dash does, when…” “Whoa there, Scootaloo! What in Celestia’s name are you talking about?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to explain that, didn’t I? You see, in reality, I am… well, was a horrendous flier, barely being able to get off the ground. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash is… well, was the best flier ever to grace Equestrian skies.” Scootaloo explained. “But… she’s…” Pinkie began “An earth pony now, I know. I know it’s hard to follow, but just stay with me. Anyway, I was just relaxing, when suddenly Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ended up cornering me. They, as usual, tried to attack me with the fact that I have no cutie mark. However, for whatever reason, their taunts didn’t bother me that day. I ended up counteracting their arguments, by asking them what their cutie marks meant. Neither of them were able to come up with an answer, and they instead just wandered away speechless. It felt great! However, they didn’t give up. Later that day, they came at me again, but this time asked me a couple questions that eventually caused me to burst into tears.” “What did they say specifically?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Well, the conversation went something like this: ‘Hey Scootaloo.’ Diamond Tiara said to me. ‘Diamond Tiara, please go away. I really don’t want to hear anything more about you having a cutie mark, and me not having a cutie mark. I’m honestly sick of it.’ I said in response. ‘No, please listen. Diamond Tiara and I have a question that only you can answer, and it has nothing to do with cutie marks, I promise.’ Silver Spoon said in a somewhat kind voice. I was taken aback by the fact that Silver Spoon was actually being polite for once! I decided that I should at least hear them out. ‘Okay then, what do you want to know?’ I asked Diamond Tiara. Diamond Tiara let off a smile, and asked, ‘What is your dream, Scootaloo? What do you want more than anything else in the world?’ I was shocked that she was asking me that, but I took it in stride. I said to her in a proud voice, ‘I want to be the greatest flier in all the world! I want to be just like Rainbow Dash when I grow up!’ Right when I said that, I heard Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon start snickering. ‘What’s so funny?’ I asked. ‘Oh nothing. It’s just that…’ Diamond Tiara began. ‘Just what?’ I asked. ‘Just… do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?’ Silver Spoon said as she fell over while laughing hysterically. I was shocked that they were laughing hysterically at my life’s ambition, just smashing it into the dust! ‘W-why does that sound so stupid? I think it’s a great dream!’ I said to Silver Spoon. ‘And I agree. It would be a great dream… if it wasn’t coming from a handicapped Pegasus!’ Diamond Tiara said between bursts of laughs. ‘Handicapped??? What do you mean, handicapped??? I’m not…’ ‘Oh give it a rest, blank flank. You obviously are.’ Silver Spoon said to me. ‘I thought we were going to leave that out of this! You promised that you’d leave that out of this!’ I said to her angrily. ‘Wrong as always, Scoots. She said the question had nothing to do with your flank. Neither of us said that we would completely ignore it for the whole conversation.’ Diamond Tiara said to me. ‘But… I’m not handicapped though. I’m not the only Pegasus who can’t fly…’ I said, although I was beginning to feel some tears building up in my eyes at this point. ‘Come on, dodo, who are you trying to fool? That excuse might work for your lack of a talent, but it won’t work for your lack of aerial abilities!’ Diamond Tiara replied. I was really mad at this point, and wanted to knock that smirk right off those two’s faces, but I knew that that would only result in detention, so I instead said something that I regretted almost immediately after I said it. ‘Prove it!’ I yelled at them. They immediately nodded, and parted apart to reveal that every Pegasus in my class was lined up right behind them. Diamond Tiara then took out a whistle and blew it, which prompted all of the pegasi behind them to fly about ten feet up and started performing some tricks, such as barrel rolls, figure eights, somersaults, and several others. As I watched, I couldn’t help but release a couple tears, since I knew what was going to happen next. Sure enough, after a minute, Diamond Tiara blew her whistle, which prompted everypony to return to the ground. She then turned to me and said, ‘You’re up, dodo.’ I gulped, and then started flapping my wings as hard as I could. I put all of my strength into getting off the ground. After about 20 seconds of intense strain, pushing myself as hard as I could, and feeling like I had flown miles high, I opened my eyes… and discovered that I was only about a foot off the ground. When I saw that, I gave up and stopped flapping, just letting myself fall back to the ground. The second I hit, I heard several ponies start laughing hysterically at me. I covered my face with my hooves and begged for them to stop, but nopony listened. After she had let me suffer for a moment, Diamond Tiara stuck her hoof under my chin and lifted, forcing me to look her and Silver Spoon in the eye. ‘So, do you get it now, blank flank? Do you understand just how useless both you and your dream are now?’ They asked me in unison. ‘I… I’m not…’ I began to say. However, Silver Spoon put a hoof over my mouth before I could finish talking, essentially silencing me. ‘Stop with your denial! Just face the fact that you are the only Pegasus in Ponyville who can’t fly!’ Silver Spoon yelled. ‘But… there are more pegasi than just our…’ I began. ‘Zip it, you waste of everything! We know that there are more than just our classmates! But guess what? Every single one of them can fly better than you can! Even the one that weighs 300 pounds and has wings smaller than an apple can fly better than you! Even the pony who can’t see two feet in front of her thanks to her crossed eyes can fly better than you! Even the Cakes baby can fly better than you can!’ Diamond Tiara said to me. ‘But… But…’ I said. I was trying my hardest to come up with any sort of counterargument, but was simply drawing a blank. ‘Time to face the facts, ‘Ms. Future Rainbow Dash’. Even a newborn foal…’ Diamond Tiara began. ‘…Would make a better Rainbow Dash than you could ever be.’ Finished Silver Spoon. At that point, I just broke down sobbing. I knew that they would only use my crying as leverage against me later, but I didn’t care. I just couldn’t take everything they had said. In the course of a single afternoon, those two had destroyed my dream, my confidence, my… everything. I just ran away from that playground. Away from that school. Away from… everywhere. However, no matter how far I ran, I couldn’t escape the taunts that continued to ring through my head. No matter how far I fled, all I could hear was malicious laughter. After a long period of running, I finally ran into a cave with a small pool in it. I collapsed on the ground next to the pool, then looked down into it. I tried my hardest to see the pony I wanted to be in my reflection, but no matter how hard I looked, all I could see was… a failure. A waste in every single way. A talentless chicken. A disabled loser who couldn’t even do what every single other Pegasus ever can do without even trying! I placed my head into the pool, and started breathing in the water, all while crying. I figured that the best thing a talentless stain like myself could do for others is to leave their lives forever. However, after a few seconds, I heard a voice suddenly call out to me, saying, ‘Young Pegasus, why are you bawling in this place?’ I shot my head out of the water and took a look around. However, I couldn’t find anypony nearby who could’ve said that. I considered going back to trying to drown myself, but instead decided to see if I could find out who was asking that question. ‘Hello? Who said that?’ I asked. Almost right afterwards, I heard the voice say, ‘It is not a matter of who, little pony, but of what. Although I have no name, I can tell you this: you are at the Pool of Desire. Since you have come here, you clearly wish for something to be different in your life. Is that correct?’ I once again looked around, but couldn’t find where the voice was coming from. Regardless, I answered the question it had asked. ‘Yes, I do want things to be different. You see...’ ‘There is no need to explain. Your tears have already explained everything. You have been verbally assaulted by two of your schoolmates about your lack of flight skill. You ran away blindly, hoping that you could get away from their words. However, you only found yourself believing them as well. Is that correct?’ the voice asked me. I nodded and said, ‘Yes, it’s true.’ The voice was silent for a moment, before it said, ‘Do you still want your dream to be a reality?’ ‘I do, but I just don’t know if I can make it a reality. I mean, as much as I don’t want to admit it, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are right; I can barely fly, and I’m one of the only pegasi in Ponyville with that problem. How can I ever fly as well as Rainbow Dash with wings that are as weak as mine?’ I asked. ‘Simple. If this is what you truly desire, then I can make it so that your wish will be fulfilled. However, be warned that desires are not free. If you get your true desire… then another who is close to you must be put through the opposite.’ The voice replied.” “Let me guess.” Said Pinkie, interrupting Scootaloo’s story, “You took the deal, and because of that, Rainbow now has to go through the flightless suffering that you did?” “Yeah.” Said Scootaloo with her head bowed down. “Well… I guess I now know why she feels incomplete. But… why do you think she became an Earth pony then, instead of a flightless Pegasus that you claim you were? And furthermore, why does she remember being an Earth pony from birth?” Pinkie asked. “Umm… I’m not really sure. The voice at the pond said that her memories of being a grand flier would be ‘locked away’, but it never mentioned anything about replacing all of her memories with new ones. Well, all except for the ones that remember our relationship, I guess.” “Hmmm… I have to wonder one thing. You said this started a week ago, right?” “Yeah, I’ve been living like this for about a week.” “So… why is it just now starting to bug you?” “Well, truth be told, when I first saw Rainbow Dash without her wings, I screamed a little inside. I was really worried that she would be… really depressed or something now that she could no longer fly. But no, she acted as if her being flightless and me being a strong flier was the norm! When I saw that, I figured that this wasn’t that bad. I was living my dream, Rainbow Dash was really proud of me for that, and I didn’t have to take abuse from certain ponies about it anymore. In addition to that, it seemed like this, while not perfect, was ultimately pretty harmless for Rainbow Dash, since she wasn’t moping or anything like that, and she’s still keeping up with her dream of becoming the best, although in a different context. However, hearing that she has felt as if a part of her was missing, and it’s been like that her whole life, and she even went through almost the exact same thing that I went through when she was a filly, eventually leading to her almost commiting suicide…” “Whoa, hold it, bucko! How do you know that that’s what her childhood bullying led up to?” Pinkie asked in absolute shock. “I know how she sounds and emotes, Pinkie Pie. With a tone like that, it couldn’t have been anything else.” Scootaloo explained. “Oh, okay.” “Anyway, at first I was simply worried about getting caught. However, when I heard her talk to you about her past, I was absolutely crushed. I have ruined Rainbow Dash’s past, present, and future, and all for a stupid pair of wings. I just… I can barely take it, Pinkie Pie.” “Umm, Scootaloo?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Yes, Pinkie Pie?” “You’re saying that you’ve made Rainbow’s life miserable, right?” “Yeah, that’s right.” “But… she really doesn’t seem that miserable to me. I mean, sure she had a pretty bad past, but she seems content with her present and confident in her future! I really don’t see why this is such a big deal.” “No, Pinkie, you don’t understand! I’m the reason she got abused as a filly! I’m the reason that she feels some resentment towards unicorns and pegasi! I’m the reason that she has constantly struggled with the inner pain of knowing that she’s incomplete, but not knowing why! I forced my hero to go through all of the crap that I’ve had to go through, and even more! And I did it all with no hesitation, no consent with Rainbow Dash, nothing! I… I feel like such a heartless monster right now…” said Scootaloo as she started to softly sob. Pinkie didn’t reply for a moment, and instead let Scootaloo cry. Once Scootaloo had finally finished crying, Pinkie started talking. “Hmm… if this is really hurting you this badly, then why don’t you just go back to the pool and get this fixed up?” “I want to Pinkie, but…” Scootaloo began before stopping for a moment. “But?” pressed Pinkie. “Before I answer, Pinkie, can you promise not to look down on me for what I’m about to say? It’s probably going to sound really selfish…” “I won’t think any differently of you. I promise.” Said Pinkie, as she moved her right hoof around a bit. “Well… this is really hard for me to say, but… I’m not sure there’s a good reason to return everything to normal. I mean, I know I’ve caused Rainbow a lot of past pain, but at the same time, if I fix this, I just have to go through more of the same pain myself, while she’s already finished with hers. And no matter how much I try to convince myself to go, I can’t deny that I haven’t made Rainbow’s present bad. She’s still a top class athlete, even though it’s in a different way, she still has her dream of becoming the best, and she’s still getting almost as much attention as she normally did. Really, the worst thing she has to deal with in the present is a few sleepless nights. Meanwhile, I’m living my dreams, and loving every moment of it! Well, except for the moments with Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo said. She then sighed and said, “But those were always the best moments…” “They were? How so?” asked Pinkie. “Just flying in the air together.” Scootaloo answered. “Wait a minute! Didn’t you just say a little while ago that you were a terrible flier?” Pinkie asked with a raised eyebrow. “I was usually riding on her back.” Scootaloo replied. Pinkie nodded her head, prompting Scootaloo to continue. “We’d soar over Equestria, looking down at everything the world had to offer, and using anything we saw as a way to start talking. It was rarely anything too extreme, but it didn’t need to be. We were usually content with just discussing our lives as we flew, undisturbed by the world around us. It was the only time when I felt truly secure. But now… when I do the same thing alone…” Scootaloo said before cutting off. Pinkie nodded and said, “I think I get it. Getting your dream has meant that you feel that you have no true sanctuary anymore?” “Well… I don’t know if I’d put it that way, since that’s not all, but yeah. Now, all I hear is quiet. Sure, it’s peaceful, but it’s also lonely. It’s like this deal I made has driven a wedge between me and Rainbow Dash that only I can see. Sure, we may still be close, but this deal has taken away the one time that we truly felt secure and unified. Rainbow doesn’t remember that, but I sure as heck do, and I can’t forget it.” “Hmmm…” said Pinkie Pie as she immediately started thinking about everything Scootaloo had just said. After about a minute, she said, “Well, I really don’t know what to tell you there, Scootaloo. I mean, it would be easy for me to say that you should do one or the other, but that would really do you a disservice.” “It would? How so?” “Scootaloo, I’m not going to pretend that I know everything. I have never experienced any of the things you have. I don’t know what it feels like to have wings, nor do I know how Rainbow Dash was with wings. I have no way of knowing your guilt or joy. Really, you’re the only one who can decide what to do here. I personally would rather be down than have one of my friends be down, but that’s just me. If you truly feel that life for you and Rainbow Dash is better now than it was before, than keep things as they are. If you feel that life before was better, than go fix it. I’m sorry I can’t answer the question for you, but ultimately, you're the only one who can answer this, Scootaloo. It seems to me as long as you’re happy with your choice, Rainbow Dash will be happy with it as well. It’s all up to you.” Pinkie said. “No, Pinkie, please don’t say that! I don’t know what would be the better choice!” pleaded Scootaloo. “Just give it some thought. Eventually, you’ll know, I’m sure of it.” Pinkie said, as she softly put a hoof around Scootaloo. Scootaloo kept silent for a moment, quietly staring down at the dirt below her. After a minute, she looked up at Pinkie Pie and said, “Ok, I’ll think about it.” “Good to hear, Scootaloo!” said Pinkie Pie enthusiastically. After she had said that, she asked, “So, what are you going to do next?” “Next? Well… I guess think about whether or not I should bring everything back to normal. In the meantime, I guess I’ll have to make sure not to do anything that would make Rainbow Dash suspicious. I don’t want her to think I’m crazy or something. What about you, Pinkie Pie?” “Me? When I’m done here, I’m gonna go back to working on making gems edible, most likely.” “Do I really want to know?” asked Scootaloo. “I dunno. If you do, just ask Rainbow Dash!” said Pinkie happily. “Um, okay then. Just remember not to let Rainbow know about this, ok?” “I already Pinkie Promised you on that one! Don’t worry, Scootaloo; your secret will never leave my lips.” Said Pinkie Pie in a very serious tone. “Alright. Thanks Pinkie Pie!” Scootaloo said as she started to walk back home. “No problemo, Scootaloo. See ya later!” Pinkie said. “You too!” Scootaloo replied.