“Hello, welcome to," Shining Armor started to say. “Oh no, not you three!” Twilight had asked him to watch the library while she and Cadence picked up some takeout for the three of them. Cadence and he had decided to drop in on their way back from their honeymoon at Neighagra Falls but hadn't eaten lunch yet. Since Spike was out gem-hunting with Rarity, that meant that he, Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard, was in charge when the Cutie Mark Crusaders pronked in. They had been flower girls at his wedding, but he was in no mood to deal with them on the last day of his honeymoon – especially after hearing stories of the chaos they whipped up.
“Twilight told me that you weren't allowed to do any crusading in here when she's not around; you can take that up with her when she gets back. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“Ah was jus' hopin' to check out a book on … surveyin'. Yeah, that's it, surveyin'.” Applebloom's voice trembled slightly, betraying her unease.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Surveyors YAY!” the other two added, gaining in enthusiasm as they spoke.
“Alright … do you need any help finding it?” Shining replied, unsure of his ability to do so if called upon. “I can handle it,”, Sweetie Belle said , and made her way to the card catalog.
As the unicorn filly began her search, Scootaloo turned to him and asked, “Hey, how'd you get your cutie mark? I bet it was an awesome story!”
“Oh it was … I was about a little bit younger than you are now; I was helping my dad out with his latest invention. He had this workshop behind the house where Twilight and I grew up “
* * *
“Nope, not it, that's a three-sixteenth.” Dad grumbled, glancing at the wrench suspended in my magic field. I returned it to the jumbled drawer of tools – only an inventor or mad scientist would call it organized, then resumed my search, my frustration mounting.
“This would be a lot easier if you'd clean up your tool cabinet once in a while … and the tools too. I can't even begin to read the labels on these.” Dad said keeping tools near an in-progress project was an invitation to lose them, so instead they got lost in a filthy chest of drawers by the door. Seizing upon a slightly larger wrench, I proffered it to my father. “Is this it?”
“That's it … now we're in business” … Dad attached the last component onto his project and switch back to the screwdriver for more delicate work. I had no clue what it was supposed to be, other than a pile of cannibalized household appliances and a massive mana battery.– After a few more minutes, he shouted triumphantly, “It's DONE! It's finally DONE!” before going off on a long-winded, jargon-filled explanation on how it was supposed to work.
I couldn't follow even a fraction of it, with terms such as “Flux capacitor”, “Thaumetic sulfite” , and “Etheric Beamers” tossed around sans explanation. Though I hadn't gotten my cutie mark yet, I knew my talents lay elsewhere; hopefully in a capacity that would easily facilitate me joining the Royal Guard, like Uncle Aegis and Grandpa. Even though Dad knew , I was still frequently conscripted as an assistant in the workshop. Once I departed to further my own career, my sister would take over, but – with Twily being only a year old – that day was a ways off.
At last, the explanation ended , and Dad retreated behind the safety barrier. “And now we test it! Shining, pull the first switch!”
“OK, here goes.” I extended a hoof and flipped the switch from behind the barrier. I winced at the orange light the device was putting out, not to mention the ominous sounding hum. “I don't like what it's doing,” I said, “Are you sure you didn't make a bomb?”
“Of course I didn't.” Dad said,”This should be perfectly safe. I wouldn't be testing it if I didn't have the utmost confidence in it. Now, would you kindly pull the second switch?”
Against my better judgment, I complied. “Alright, but if this blows up half of Canterlot, it's your fault, not mine.” After flipping the switch , I winced, waited, and watched. then the glow grew brighter, and the hum turned into a whine. “Oh, BUCK!” Acting purely on instinct, I threw up the best shield spell I could around Dad and me, and another to contain the device.
Three heartbeats after the second shield winked into existence, the entire workshop exploded in a sun-bright flash and a deafening BA-WHOOOOOM! The shield around the bomb – that's how I thought of it, even if it hadn't been meant as one – shattered like glass.To everypony's surprise, the one protecting me and my father held.
“Ponyfeathers!” Dad's curse was little more than a whisper, though he got steadily louder as he continued, “I can see the sky. I blew the bucking ROOF off!”
“We're alive! Thank Celestia, we're alive!” I sank to the floor, weary with effort and overwhelmed with shock. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear multiple alarms and sirens wailing … and was that Twily crying?
Mom ran towards us shouting, “Sun and Moon, what happened here!? Are you alright?”
“The prototype blew up!”
“We're fine. Dad built a bomb”
Dad and I answered simultaneously before I motioned him to continue,Mom is the only other member of the family who could decipher his “Inventor Speak” – even Twily has trouble sometimes.
“The prototype wasn't stable.I'll have to go over what exactly happened later.Shining Armor saved both our lives” Dad looked far, far smaller than I had seen him before, as if he was drying up in dejection to blow away in the wind.
Looking me over, Mom smiled slightly, “I see you've earned your cutie mark in the process.”
Cutie mark? Looking back at my flank, I saw it, a stylized shield with a starburst on it – or was that an explosion? – andthree stars above it. I stood there speachless.
Things were really hectic for the rest of the afternoon, and well into the evening. The Guard came by first, followed shortly by reporters from every paper within fifty miles of Canterlot. Apparently, the blast could be heard as far away as Ponyville. After the impromptu press conference, we had to talk to a bunch of bureaucrats, insurance agents, safety inspectors, and the like. There was no way we were eating dinner at home, even if the small army of officials would let us, so we went to a cafe for dinner. Dad took solace in deep-fried comfort food, devouring his third order of onion rings. Mom went for chocolate, helping herself to the large triple fudge sundae in front of her, slipping Twily the occasional bite. As for me, I was picking at a hayburger, still too keyed up to eat much.
Mom finally broke the silence “You are finished, honey.”
My dad replied, indignant “I still have a half-full basket of onion rings.”
“I mean with inventing, you foal! Today was the last straw … you heard what Professor Brightsteel said. If Shiny hadn't contained the explosion, it would have leveled the block. It's a miracle nopony died. What were you thinking, putting a fifty kilothaum mana battery in a proof-of-concept device?” Mom's voice and gaze would have made drill sergeants green with envy. “You are retiring … and that's final. If you want to find something else to do with your time, feel free; if not, it's not like we don't have more than enough squirreled away to live comfortably for decades.
“I … “ Dad began, but withered under Mom's gaze. “Alright … the more that I think about it, the more that I realize that I've probably hit my credit limit at the bank of luck.”
“More like overdrawn,” I said under my breath.
* * *
“And from that day on, I knew it was my calling to protect ponies … “ Shining Armor stopped as he heard the door open.
“Alright … we're back, bearing pizza.” Twilight said, as she strode in. “Oh, and we made a side trip to Sugarcube Corner for some dessert while we were out.” she was carrying a veritable feast - three pizzas and two bags full of baked goodies. Cadence followed up behind, with several large bottles of root beer in her magic field. “Was there any trouble while I was … out?” Twilight trailed off as she saw the Crusaders sitting in front of Shining Armor.
“No trouble. I just told them the story of how I got my cutie mark.”
“Oh great … please tell me Cutie Mark Crusader Inventors is not on the agenda now?” Twilight remarked as she hastily checked out the book Sweetie Bell got after making sure it wasn't obviously dangerous.
Scootaloo looked Twilight in the eye. “Nope, Cutie Mark Crusaders Demolition Experts YAY.”