//------------------------------//
// Sloth 
// Story: Tidbits of Mast and Sail 
// by Habanc 
//------------------------------//

I trip on my own hoof, and fall down the stairs. I smash my face into the steps, my hooves and shoulders being run ragged over the jaws of the staircase. Gravity hauls the rest of my body over, bending my back like putty. My limbs flail uncontrollably, getting pulled and crushed underneath me. My hip lands on the edge of the base step, and I swear I hear something pop, before rolling forward like a ragdoll. Somewhere along the floor of Golden Oaks, I come to a stop. My thoughts become slow and lethargic. I’m reluctant to move.

Ow.

It wasn’t a particularly long thought, nothing compared to a wail of agony or even a cry of moderate pain. I react like somepony had pinched me, feeling the discomfort with mild disgust. The sensations, shooting through my body, grasping my face, flooding my mind, they are annoying. This floor is annoying, the stairs are annoying, being annoyed is annoying.

As I remain tangled along the floor, I groan, waiting for the sensations to throb away. I suppose I should get up and make sure that nothing is broken, but maybe it could wait a few minutes. The fact that moving could bring more irritating pain serves as a wonderful excuse.

It has been a week or so since I returned from Canterlot. I had been living there to keep up with my royal duties, but it was suggested that I recuperate at home for a while. Recuperating from what, exactly?

Luna.

A few days back, thinking that name would’ve made me tear up. Now… now I just don’t care. We were friends for a long time. By friends, I mean ponies that clearly had fallen in love with each other but were both too afraid to make a move. By a long time, I mean that Fluttershy had recommended that I ask her out. 

I don’t know. She was sad, Celestia and her had just gotten into a huge fight, so I went to confront Luna. She mumbled some stuff about feeling underappreciated and worthless, and I tried to comfort her, to tell her how I felt for her.

Needless to say, she didn’t take it very well. I guess that’s not what she wanted. Emotions are dumb. So much for that love story. It’s all a bunch of lies, anyway. Why should years of admiration and respect matter if it can be choked out in a few minutes?

I shouldn’t even bother answering the question. It’s not worth it.

My right hindleg jolts in pain, and I grimace to keep it at bay.

I’m annoyed again. I would much rather go back to my numbness that had me swathed for the past– past... I don’t know how long. 

I claw my way up, grunting and heaving as derelict muscles strain. Something in my hindleg feels odd, but I can stand on it, if barely. It’s probably not that bad then. The rest of me – my head, my chest, my shoulders – tingles with a steady stream of discomfort. 

I charge my horn briefly and let loose a wave of analgesics. It was perhaps too much – I didn’t really bother to figure out the right dosage for a pony my size.

Limping into the kitchen, I look around. Dirty dishes are everywhere, cereal boxes strewn about. There’s a revolting smell coming from somewhere. The floor is crumbly and off-white, my hooves sticking as I make my way across.

Sitting down at the table, I sigh and zone out across the room. A clock on the wall reads four-thirty in the morning. Huh. I suppose that means I ate some time ago.

The last two days have been a fever dream, at best. Conscious, unconscious, it all meshes together like dirt in water. What’s left is a sludge that’s difficult to move through and oh-so-tempting to give up in. 

I remember a lot of staring up at the ceiling. The plain, wooden scene, painted slightly different were it night or day. Time wasn’t much of an object. It was all a lot of staring until I grew tired, sleeping restlessly, and staring up at the ceiling again. Like a buoy, I dipped through the surface so often that I forgot where I was most of the time.

I can tell you, a voice whispers in my head.

Right, her again. 

Perceptive as always, Twilight.

I feel a layer of grime begin to settle in over my body. If I ever decide to look into a mirror, I think my mane would be a modern art exhibit. The buildup of mucus in my tear ducts remains, and my mouth tastes stale and old.

Laying my head down on the table, I look out across the room. Cupboards are left open, tin cans sit idle and ajar, cold coffee rests in its pot.

Do you hate her? Nightmare interrupts.

Time passes.

Twilight, I’m waiting for an answer.

I don’t know.

Do you love her?

… I don’t know.

Come now, surely that weak heart of yours has something to say.

Not really.

Look at you. Rendered to a mess by our own Luna breaking your heart.

I suppose so. Don’t you have some fillies to scare, Nightmare?

I’m scaring one right now.

I sigh. Why are you here? Just let me be.

I simply wanted to see if there was any way I could assist you.

Right. I see. Evil, heartless exiles enjoy spending their free time helping others.

Do you doubt me?

Yeah.

With a flash and a pop, she’s sitting across the table from me. I drag my head across the wooden surface to get a decent look at her. Void black coat, sapphire, ethereal mane, piercing eyes, long, slim body, yep, everything except her champron, peytral, and boots. Au naturel, it seems.

Like what you see?

You’re still in my head?

Of course. How could I resist listening in on such inner turmoil?

Oh, good. I don’t think I’ve said a word for a few days, and I’m not really in the mood to change that.

A moment passes.

Does my charge still infect your thoughts? The look on her face is surprisingly earnest.

Yeah. I mean, I really did love her. I thought we could be together forever, as cheesy as that sounds. I wanted nothing more than to be with her any chance I had. And… hah.

Wait, why am I telling her this?

Oh, come now, don’t be so blind. Your heart is literally trying to tear itself apart, and whether you realize it or not, you’re begging to talk to somepony about it.

Probably.

Do you want her back? What if she hadn’t broken your heart?

I don’t know. ...Maybe? I’m not sure. If I could have her back, I don’t think I would. The memory is still there.

And yet, you still want to be loved.

Who doesn’t?

You know, Twilight, your little Luna isn’t the only one who can give you what you seek.

I ignore her, closing my eyes.

I could teach you so much.

I turn my head away.

Ponies think of me as entirely evil, but you know better, don’t you? All ponies have good in them. Even I. I can show you what you deserve.

My hooves press over my ears. 

You’re so strong, so powerful, but even the best of us need a shoulder to rest on. Life hasn’t been kind recently. You’ve been used by your princesses so much, gaining little in return. I could give you more. Why not have that shoulder be somepony even stronger than you?

I clench my teeth together until they grind like millstones.

If love and support is what you seek, even I can give you it better than Luna could. Consider yourself lucky that you didn’t have to stoop so low as to her.

“Stop.” I mutter. My voice sounds like it’s being run through a rusty pipe. 

Oh, isn’t that cute? We’re speaking now. Tell me, are these the first words you’ve said since she turned you away?

Sitting up straight, I glare at her. “Don’t you talk about her like that, you insect.”

Nightmare Moon rises from her seat. So you do still care about her? Come on, Twilight, make up your mind. It’s not polite to keep me waiting.

“What does it matter to you?” I snarl, kicking back my seat. The remnant pain in my leg roars back to life, before I suffocate it with another wash of painkillers. 

She sashays over, looking down on me like an errant foal. You matter, of course. The power that you don’t even understand the depth of, I can help you unlock it. She pushes my chin up with a hoof, and brings her lips in close. All you have to do is let me in.

Her scent makes my knees buckle. What it is, I can hardly place. It’s like a venomous nectar, sweet, tempting, enslaving, and it preys on my weaknesses. I want to be taken, to be touched, to be empowered. I want her, my neurons scream.

The analgesics clouding my brain don’t make it much easier.

Her lips touch mine, and for a moment, I succumb to it. There is passion, deep within there. Her hooves hold my face gently, and the kiss is delivered with the utmost care. Her venom courses through my veins, slowing my heartbeat, warming my soul.

Then it burns. Like the unholy flames of Tartarus, it is unnatural in its creation and damnable in every sense of the word. I can feel it everywhere, running across me like a wildfire at the height of dry season. It scorches and chars, shrouding my eyes until they cry, raking my throat hoarse. Filth, detestment, and regret pile up faster than my euphoria can weave its webs.

Shoving her away, I break off from Nightmare Moon, spitting out whatever I can. The heat remains, bubbling up higher and higher, inches from spilling over. I am steaming, roaring, my tunnel vision focused on nothing but her. Horror and disgust creates balloon animals with my insides. Everything churns and screams and fights and wails, like a creature branded with sinful iron. 

“You… You…” I pant. I raise a hoof, leveling it with her eyes. “I will make you burn for what you’ve done, for what you’ve said, you pathetic worm.” I spat out on the floor, ridding myself of the last of her infectious taste.

Nightmare Moon laughed. “I’m afraid it’s too late.”

Roaring, I swing a whip of magic at her, cleaving the table in two. Splinters burst like a grenade, spraying the room along with eldritch smoke. She pops across the room, giving me a coy smirk that, I now realize, had always been there.

My magic comes to me easier than it ever had before. No matter the quantity, it’s simply there, waiting to be sacrificed in droves like cult fanatics. With it, I let loose the strongest spell I know. Ira Solaris tears across the room, ripping up the linoleum tiles and floorboards beneath like grains of sand. Every glass object shatters and serves as shrapnel. The cabinets tear off their hinges, falling like twigs, the ceiling cracks and groans. A golden wave of energy scorches the air it rides upon as it flares out towards Nightmare Moon. It hits the back wall and goes straight through. Six feet in diameter, everything is scorched black.

A smoke detector blares.

I look around, stumbling from the drain, but she is nowhere. She is gone. The room is utterly destroyed, sink spraying water from its cleaved piping, a giant hole in both the wall and the floor.

My my, Twilight, what have you done here?

You… You were right there.

Hmm? Oh, Twilight, don’t be ridiculous. I’m banished, remember? Are we seeing things again?

As I fall back, all I can hear is her laughter, fading away into oblivion.