//------------------------------// // WOLVES! Part 4 // Story: The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted // by defender2222 //------------------------------// “Alright Spike, I think it is time we work on the Groovy Music spell,” Twilight said with a smile. “We were delayed by my little accident-“ “You mean how you gut yourself to find a book?” Spike asked as he flipped through the magazine Derpy had just delivered (‘Assistant Monthly’. The mag would have come out weekly but it spent three weeks helping ‘Crazy Pony Librarian Weekly’ put out its issues). Twilight looked down at her stomach. “I never did find that book… nevermind though. Now that I am all healed up we can get back to work!” “Why exactly do you need a spell to create Groovy Music?” the baby dragon asked. Twilight looked at Spike like he was crazy (and this was the mare who was still recovering from gutting herself while looking for a book). “You never know when you might need it.” Spike shook his head. “But music tends to play whenever we begin singing anyway.” “…I don’t follow.” “I mean that nearly once a week you and the rest of the ponies in Equestria decide to have elaborate song and dance numbers. When said dance number beings, the music just suddenly begins playing. So why would you need to make a spell to create something that happens naturally?” “I have no idea what you are referring to,” Twilight said with a sniff. “Yes you do! You do it all the time! I can do it right now! I mean, watch this!” Spike Hey (hey) What's the matter with your head? yeah... Hey (hey) What's the matter with your mind and all your sighing? And-a ooh-ohh Hey (hey) Nothin's a matter with your head, baby, find it Come on and find it Hell, with it, baby, 'cause you're fine and you're mine And you look so divine Come and get your love Come and get your love Come and get your love Come and get your love “…you’ve been hanging around with that talking raccoon, haven’t you?” Twilight asked once the song was over. Spike huffed. “And what if I have?” “I told you not to hang around them! They are a bad influence. They are criminals and thieves!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh, they are not! All of the Guardians are awesome.” Twilight shook her head. “I don’t like how they are bothering Fluttershy…” ~MC~MC~MC~ “I am Groot.” Fluttershy smiled and poured some tea into her teacup. “I see you are still suffering from your speech impediment, baby brother.” “I am Groot.” “Mom and dad are fine. You’ll visit them, won’t you?” “I am Groot.” “I’m glad.” Fluttershy turned to Drax. “More tea, Mr. Destroyer?” The alien known as Drax the Destroyer nodded. “Yes, small winged horse. And in return for your kindness I will hunt down your enemies and smite them.” “Oh, there is no need for that…” “There is all the need,” Drax said, slamming his fist against the table. “ALL THE NEED!” Somewhere, in Cloudsdale, all the ponies that had made fun of Flutterhsy during high school suddenly wet themselves. The God Squad: Equestria’s Most Wanted Episode 30: WOLVES! Part 4 “So this is the Evil Forest, huh?” Pinkie said, looking about the shadow-shrouded clearly the group had teleported into. Even with Luna’s moon hanging in the sky the entire area had a dark, forboding feeling that made even the stoutest of hearts want to flee in terror. One didn’t know quite what the source of the terror was but it still swirled about in the air like a fine mist. It was the same feeling one would get walking into Kristen Stewart’s bedroom… you felt a tremble of dread run down your spine but didn’t know what exactly caused it. “Meh, I’ve seen better.” “I’ve never understood the appeal of forests,” Tydal said. “Makes it too easy for your prey to escape.” “Are you saying that you let prey escape?” Luna teased. “On land? Yes. In the sea nothing can hide from me but out here, among all this… ugh…” Tydal looked at the trees in disgust. “This is just a horrid place, designed to restrict your ability to use all three dimensions fully.” “I like the 4th dimension myself!” Pinkie said as she bounced along the trail. “And the 5th! Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Mxyzptlk?” “…that explains so much and yet so little,” Celestia muttered. "So, do we have any idea on how to actually lure this alpha candy wolf to us?" Celestia asked. Tydal stroked his beard. "I'm not sure... usually I have a scent trail to follow when I hunt my prey." Tydal leaned down and, like a doggy, began to stiff the ground, circling around the two alicorns and Pinkie. “All I smell is bunny sweat and moss.” "Well, allow an expert to take the lead," Luna said, summoning a large, dusty tome out of thin air. "Some of us actually went to college for this... and not to learn how to do keg stands." Celestia was offended. "I'll have you know that doing keg stands had come in handing several times in my rule." "Name 11 times it has," Luna charged before returning to her book. "Let's see here..." "So... is she or isn't she Twilight's mom?" Pinkie asked Tydal. "Because honestly, I can't figure it out anymore." "I believe the jury is still out on that." ~Meanwhile, in a courthouse in Canterlot...~ "Ponies, ponies!" Spitfire called out, slamming her hoof on the table. "We have been deadlocked for 2 weeks! We need to come to a decision now!" "The Great and Powerful Juror #4 still says she can't be Nightmare Moon's daughter," Trixie said. "Nightmare Moon was imprisoned on the moon when Twilight was born." "How do we know that Twilight was born when she says she was born?" Fleur asked. "It is entirely possible Twilight was born just before Princess Luna was banished and Princess Celestia placed the foal in stasis." "She did it with Lord Tydal," Coco pointed out. "Eeyup," Big Mac intoned. "But why not announce it?" Trixie asked. "The Great and Powerful Juror #4 has a point," Iron Will stated. "It’s like I always say: If you know something is true, then you must say it soon!" "...that doesn't even rhyme," Zecora complained as the meeting descended into chaos. "Rabble, rabble rabble!" "Rabble rabble!" "Rabble!" Discord watched all of this in annoyance, sipping on his iced coffee. "Some ponies no longer care about the sacred duty that is Jury Duty." He paused, smiling. "Hee... duty." ~MC~MC~MC~ "So, we need to find something that will lure the alpha candy wolf in?" Pinkie asked. "What about a bunch of sweets?" "No, that won't do," Celestia said. "There may be other candy werewolves out here. We put out candy and they might swarm us." "That's right!" Tydal proclaimed, stomping his hoof. "And then I'd slaughter them all and have to make their skins into coats and I already have too many winter coats. My closet will not hold anymore!" Luna flipped a page in the dusty book. "What we need to do is not lure in a candy werewolf... we need to lure in a monster. The other candy werewolves are poor innocents... but the alpha is a vicious monster." The goddess of the moon tapped her chin. "Now, what would appeal to a blood-thirsty monster?" All three mares looked at Tydal. "What?" he asked. "What? Why are you... oh, you can kiss the scaliest part of my ass!" "I've got it!" Luna suddenly cried out. "Monsters love innocent, pure maidens!” "That's because they are stupid," Tydal commented with a huff. "Give me a naughty nanny any day of the week." He smiled fondly. "My dear Merida might have looked all cute and innocent when I first met her... but the way she used her-" "I don't think I'm old enough to hear this," Celestia said with terror-filled eyes (no matter how old or powerful... hearing about your parents doing it was always a horrifying thought). "You are just the exception that proves the rule," Luna stated. "What we need is a pure mare who has never felt the caress of a stallion." She grinned, her horn glowing. "And I know just who to get." ~20 Minutes Later...~ "I'm so glad you weren't busy tonight, Miss Cheerilee!" Luna said happily, trotting beside the schoolmare. "I must admit, I was surprised to receive your message, Princess," Miss Cheerilee said, a shaky smile on her face. "Though, to be honest, I'm not sure why you wanted to go on a walk through a creepy forest with me." "Oh, I'm just eccentric. Now, let's gossip, ok? Any hot stallions in your life?" Miss Cheerliee's smile faded. "Not a one. Seems like the only love and affection I get nowadays is from my 10 cats." Luna flashed her a huge grin. "Perfect..." "Are we sure this will work?" Celestia asked from the thick leafy bush she, Pinkie and Tydal were hiding in. "If it doesn't then I'll call Dashie!" Pinkie said happily. "She is always going on about how she thinks stallions are yucky." "That doesn't make her pure, Pinkie," Tydal pointed out. The pink mare frowned. "But... but she is just like Miss Cheerilee! She even has a kitty she lets everypony pet. I’ve never met her but I know she exists!" The party planner nodded. "Yup, Rainbow Dash is always talking about having ponies pet her pus-" "ARRRRRRRRRWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "What... what was that?" Miss Cheerilee asked, looking about the trees with dread. "I am sure it was nothing." "ARRRRRRRRRRRWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" "That is a wolf!" Miss Cheerilee screamed in fear. "What?" Luna said. "No... no. That is just the wind." "I am pretty sure-" Miss Cheerilee didn't get to finish as another howl filled the air. "-that is a wolf!" "Cheerilee you ignorant slut," Luna said, rolling her eyes. "Of course that isn't a wolf! It is the wind! If it was a wolf I wouldn't say it wasn't a wolf... I'd claim it was something else, like the wind." "...what?" "Listen, thanks for your help, bye now." Luna's horn glowed and the schoolmare instantly teleported away. "We've got a candy werewolf!" "About bloody time!" Tydal snarled, leaping from the bush, his black hat and long duster billowing behind him as he snarled. "Let it come... let the savage beast learn just who stands against it!" The trees shook and trembled, the ground waked, and birds took flight as the nearly 7 foot tall candy werewolf emerged from the treeline and entered the clearing the alicorns had chosen to spring their trap in. It was massive, well over 17 feet long with a thick black pelt and glowing red eyes. The beast's teeth were yellow with rain stains along its curled-back lips and strong jaw. The alpha let out a blast of air that nearly sent Pinkie flying and took a step forward, his paw sinking into the ground due to his weight. Luna quickly joined Celestia in the hiding bush, questioning her life choices as she pulled her red hood tighter around her. "Hello beastie," Tydal said, baring his own razor sharp teeth. His tail swung back and forth as he rolled his shoulders, the skies overhead becoming overcast as he began to draw all the water in the air towards him. A thick fog rolled in as the god of war let his own eyes flicker and go inky black. "I've been looking for you." "Oh, have you?" the alpha said pleasantly. "...what?" The alpha promptly began to circle Tydal, his tone cordial. "I must say, I don't remember meeting you. Still, it is clear you know me. I apologize for my memories of you being incomplete and beg your forgiveness." Tydal looked at his alicorn daughters. "I hate your country so much." Luna and Celestia emerged from the hiding bush, Pinkie bouncing right behind them. "Are you the alpha candy werewolf?" "I am," the beast said with a bow. "A thousand hellos to you both." "Oh my... how polite," Celestia said. "Gag me," Tydal grumbled. "And I mean that figuratively." "Nuts," Pinkie said, tossing the ballgag she'd grabbed off to the side. "Mr. Alpha, we have sought you out because your curse has fallen upon our friends." Luna looked up at the polite alpha and smiled. "Our niece/sister, depending on who you ask, was bitten by you and became a candy werewolf. She, in turn, bit several others." "Well, I bite a lot of ponies," the alpha admitted. "I don't know if I remember this mare you speak of-" "Pink, really slutty?" Celestia said. "Ah. Yes, Cadence. Yes, I remember her." Luna nodded. "We sought you in hopes of lifting the curse. According to the legend we need to beat you up while hurling insults at you." The alpha laughed. "No need for that. I will remove the curse right now through my own magic." He closed his eyes and let out a howl that seemed to echo for miles. "There, it is done." Celestia, who'd felt the magic of the alpha, bowed in thanks. "You have done us a kindness." "Far from it. I just can't help but bite ponies... it is I who wronged you." The wolf's eyes lit up. "I have it... as an apology I will grant you one wish!" "Really?" Luna asked. "Yes! I am a wish-granting alpha candy werewolf. Merely speak what you desire and it is yours." "I wish to beat you up while hurling insults at you," Tydal replied. "Wait, what?" the wolf managed to say right before Tydal leapt onto him. "No... no! OW! OW!" "Stop squirming and let me beat you up!" Tydal snarled as he began to spank the candy werewolf. "Now then, insults... your ass is big and flabby and while it makes it easier to spank you I feel you should still be ashamed!" "OW!" "Should... should we do something?" Pinkie asked. "Nah... he's probably cranky and this will help him calm down," Luna said. Celestia smiled. "He'll sleep well tonight." "OOOOWWWWWWW!!!!" ~One Beating Later...~ Shining groaned. "Why... why am I in a bread cage?" He sniffed himself, his nose crinkling in disgust. "And why do I smell like sweat and shame." "It is a long story," Luna said as she released the returned to normal Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Let us just say Cadence bit you, you turned into a candy werewolf yourself, so we trapped you in a bread cage until we restored you." "...I vote we never speak of any of this again," Shining said. "Agreed!" the rest of the squad intoned. Cadence giggled in delight, hugging them all. "Well, I am thankful you cured me and you managed to do so quickly! I was worried that the curse would leave lasting repercussions." "awwwoooo!" Cadenc looked down at her tummy. "Huh, I must be hungry." Her stomach rumbled slightly again. "awrooooo!"