You know what Abandoned things have about them? That whole creepy monster lurking thing of one just waiting in the shadows for a victim to arrive. The Castle of the Royal Sisters counts, considering the Everfree Forest surrounds it and it’s secrets are nowhere near discovered.
In other words, if this were a horror movie, entering would be death in 2 seconds flat, no, not ten seconds flat…I really mean 2 seconds, 10 seconds would be pushing it.
So many encounters with the forest haven’t yielded a fatal encounter yet. I am still not entering, let's just say the entrance into this world was not a good one,
So, I found out that Twilight Sparkle had decided to check out the old castle, not long after get Fluttershy and Rarity there as well for some 1000 year old fabric and finally Rainbow Dash and Applejack’s rivalry got them sent there as well.
Pinkie Pie is…of to be creepy organ player that would make Ganondorf from Ocarina of Time jealous.
Maybe I should of given Twilight a badflank whip and tell her to whip walls for food and to watch out for annoying flank bats that knock you into bottomless pits. Oh well, too late now.
“Bolty!” a voice called from behind
“Hey Kicker, wassup?” I greeted my friend
“The sky, Bolty” Kicker replied as always
Poor clouds, nopony ever mentions them, donate to the Respect the clouds in the answer to the What’s up? Question today!
“So, anything happening? Discord deciding to be chaotic? Twilight messes up something in her latest science project?” Kicker asked
“Nah, I think right now they’re just accidently spooking each other out in the old Royal sisters’ castle” I answered
“Sounds like them” Firefly said from behind
“Hey Firefly, wassup?” I asked
“The clouds” Firefly replied
The clouds now have respect, I’ll keep all the money you donated, MUHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Sooooo, who wants to check an abandoned tool shed?” Firefly asked
“Is it near Fluttershy’s house or is Fluttershy’s?” I asked
“No” Firefly replied
Oh thank Celestia! Brony continuity does not exist in this case, nor does Cupcakes or Smile HD, seriously, that’s some bucked up stuff right there. Moral of the sentence: The Fanbases have some very bucked up imagination and mental help should probably be delivered soon as possible!
“So what’s the deal with it then?” I asked
“Well nopony knows, legend has it that oene of the founders of Ponyville was really a mass murderer and hid bodies in that very shed, if you enter, bad stuff happens” Firefly explained
“And we’re just going to walk right in?” I asked sckeptically
“DUH!” CK rolled her eyes
“Well against my better judgement…LET’S GO!!” I put my fist in the air for some adventure
Yeah…the horror movie savvy part of me is screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So yeah…we’re all bucked, dibs on Kicker being the sacrifice. What? If Somepony has to die it ain’t me and I love Firefly so it ain’t her and besides we still haven’t done it! Last time the Crusaders happened, that’s all you need to know.
“So this is the ABANDONED TOOL SHED?” I asked uncertainly
“Yep, no doubt about it, can’t you see the signs?” Firefly points out
WARNING: Abandoned Toolshed! Do not Enter if you know what’s good for you!
Ahem let me translate: Yes my dear visitors, come right on in! There won’t be any traps or anything of any kind and there are free cookies on the kitchen.
“Yeah, but signs are made to be ignored by ponies” I answer
“Why do you think the Everfree never has any signs?” CK said as though it were obvious
“Still, a fence or a guardian would be nice, let’s just go in” I said
What we came across in the toolshed was not skeletons, not any bloody stuff or anything horrific, all there was, was a book on a table, nothing else but random farm tools otherwise.
Well this is more disappointing than each passing Resident Evil game, especially the death animations. I buck you not, The most you’ll get out of Resident Evil 6 or Resident Evil Revelations is the just falling over and maybe a bit on the neck or a grab on the ankle. Resident Evil 4 at least gave you beheadings and getting stabbed or crushed by an monster, like come on! If I am going to die in a horror, at least make it gory or epic! Lousy Capcom always being lazy nowerdays.
“Well this blows” CK said in a disappointing tone
“You said it, where are all the horror stuff?” Firefly asked
‘Who knows?” I answered
I decided to see what the book was, it’s the only object there. It has writing on it: Twilight: The Pony Version!
Well…it can’t be any worse than the human version and OH CELESTIA!! MY EYES ARE ON FIRE!!!! OH MY SWEET CELESTIA’S BALLSACKS IT BUUUUUURRRRRNNNS! Wait…Celestia has ballsacks? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN!!! I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!! DAMN YOU STEPHIMANE MYER!!! AND DAMN YOU CELESTIA WITH MAN PARTS!!!!
We are sorry, but our main character has suffered insanity to reading Twilight even though it was the first sentence, believe me, you don’t wanna read the Pony version, it makes some of the werid fan fics look like early childhood books.
Firefly and Cloud Kicker were just fine, why? Cause they’re mares, they somehow have the ability to soak these things in. They still don’t like it though but that doesn’t matter.
Lightning Bolt is gonna need a lot of therapy just to get this one out and henceforth the word is forbidden and be known as the Series that shall not be named!