//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: My Saving Grace // by TheGentlemanCreeper //------------------------------// With a kick in your step and a song in your heart, you walk through the streets of Ponyville as Celestia’s sun just starts to peek over the horizon. “Straaaangers in the night... Exchanging glances~ Wond’ring in the night... What were the chances... We’d be sharing love... Before the niiiiight was throoooough~” You couldn’t help but sing out. It’s one of those days~ you think with a wide smile. Seriously, when’s the last time I’ve woken up feeling this good? Walking up to Sugarcube Corner, you open the door and sashay in with goofy grin towards the counter. “Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away~ And-” “Ever since that night, we’ve been together~” You whip your head around in confusion, only to see Pinkie Pie balanced on a ladder with a roll of blue and white streamers in her hooves. “Lovers at first. In love forever... It turned out alright. For strangers in the night~” You can’t help but smile and rear up, bring your hooves together for a little clap. “Glad to see not everypony has forgot the classics,” you say with a laugh. “So, how ya doing this morning Pinks?” “Oh come on! Some of the best cocktail parties ever hosted had Blue Eyes as the main attraction alone. Of course I’d know of him,” she says matter-of-factly as she steps off the ladder. “And I’m good, thanks. Here for the usual?” “Yes please.” Following her over to the counter, Pinkie pulls a white box out from underneath it. “Dozen doughnuts, two bits,” she says as she slides it your way. You nod and fish the money out of your wallet and slide it towards her. “Thanks, Pinkie. See ya tomorrow.” You take your box of doughnuts and start heading towards the door, but stop mid-stride. “Actually... You’ll be seeing me a lot sooner than that.” Something in the tone of Pinkie’s voice sets you on edge. “Ummm... And what’s that supposed to mean?” Pinkie smiles at you, ear from ear. “Well~ Remember our little game?” You cock your head and your face scrunches up. “What are you talking about? What ga-” Like a ton of bricks, the memory comes back and you let out a long sigh. “Oh. Wait. That game.” Pinkie Pie nods so quick, you think her head is gonna fly off. “Uh-huh~ I hid and nopony found me. Including you!” She punctuates the end of the sentence with an outstretched hoof that bops you on the nose. “And remember I said that you would owe me?” You let out a long sigh and lean against the wall. “Yeah... Yeah, I remember. Welp, a bet is a bet. What’dya need me to do? Cover for you today? Run a few errands? Maybe-” “I want you to bring a date to the charity ball!” You blink a few times in confusion before finally shaking your head. “I’m sorry, come again? I swear you just told me to bring a date somewhere.” “Yupperooni!” Pinkie cries out ecstatically. “It’s a little fundraiser for all the ponies in Ponyville who’ve hit a rough patch in their life! It’s to remind them that here in Ponyville, we look out for eachother and that we help one another when burdens get too tough for just one pony to handle.” All you can manage is a single “Huh.” “Entrance fee is one bit and we hold a five bit raffle. Winner takes home a wide assortment of baked goods prepared by myself and the Cakes!” “I gotta say, I’m surprised. Back in... Manehattan, no pony really paid that much attention to anypony who was having a hard time. They all just sort of looked out for their own.” You roll your shoulders and let out another breathe. “Well... I guess there’s no weaseling out of this, huh?” Pinkie stares right into your eyes and shakes her head ever so slowly. “Nope. Bet’s a bet.” “Alright,” you say with a long sigh. “I guess I gotta find a date now, huh?” “Oh come on Flare Chaser! Don’t look so down! I bet a stallion like you has been beating mares off with a stick since you came here.” You feel your cheeks go a little red, but manage to keep your composure and shake your head. “Can’t say I have. But, uh... I’ll see ya at the party, whenever it is.” Turning on your heels, you just make it to the door. “Tonight, actually! See ya then!” Only to freeze up and let out a groan of frustration in the doorway. “Great... Ditzy’s gonna kill me...” You throw your head back and look into the skies as you let out another long sigh, your good mood ruined by the inevitable shouting match you were about to have. You continued down the empty street, hearing the stirrings of each pony in Ponyville as the sun peaked over the horizon before arriving back at the Ponyville Post Office. “Who wants doughnuts?” You call out as you step into the post office. “Hot, fresh, and most importantly, free. Well, free for you. I paid for it.” From the break room, you see Ditzy poke her head out and smile. “Gimmie a second, just getting the coffee pot set up. Oh, Raindrops called in today. She probably won’t be in for the next few days, actually.” You can’t help but shake your head as you step into the room and slide the doughnuts onto the table. “What’s happened to the poor mare now? Feather flu? Or is she still suffering from insomnia? I can only cover for her so much, you know. Sooner or later Lightning Bolt is going to get curious as to why I’m giving her so much time off and-” “It’s that time of the year, Flare Chaser.” That stopped you. “Oh,” you say simply. “Oh. Well, um, okay then. I guess I’ll be covering for her for the next few days.” Ditzy can’t help but smirk as you shift around on your hooves. “What’s the matter? Embarrased about a mare going into her season?” “Oh come on now, I don’t need to hear about this.” Opening up the box of doughnuts, you pull out an eclair and take a bite into it. “You know, I’m going into season here in a few weeks. I’ll need relief.” Your eyes nearly pop out of your head and you start coughing wildly on the piece of doughnut you almost choked on. “W-What?!?” Ditzy gives you an odd look before blushing furiously. “That wasn’t an invitation. I’m saying I’ll need a relief to cover my shift.” She shakes her head and pours herself a cup of coffee. “Did you honestly think-” “Hey back when I was a teenager, I got propositioned by mares in heat all the time. It was normal back then to just ask a stallion friend to buck your brains out,” you say, your cheeks now a crimson red. “Sweet princesses above, new topic...” Ditzy groans aloud as she rubs at her forehead. “New topic now.” “Well, uh... I know this is going to seem weird so short after that wonderful talk, but... I need a date for tonight.” Ditzy’s head snaps up and she looks to you, her face contorted in confusion. “Come again?” You roll your eyes and fall back into a chair behind you. “Pinkie Pie. Made a bet with her to get away from her party to...” You flash Ditzy a look and she gives you a little nod. “You know. Anyway, she said that I owed her and wants me to attend this charity ball thing. Tonight.” With a low groan, Ditzy slumps against the wall. “Tonight? Of all nights?” “Yeah. That’s what I thought.” Without another word, you get to your hooves and start walking towards your office, only hesitating for a moment until hearing Ditzy’s hoofsteps behind you. Walking in, you hold the door open for her and give her a little nod before closing it. “We have plans, Colonel.” Ditzy says sharply. “You couldn’t say no?” “Have you ever said no to Pinkie Pie?” Ditzy’s eyes shoot away for a second before she lets out a long sigh. “No, I haven’t. Still, we won’t have an opening like this for a while. Starburst only goes to Baritone’s home for poker once a month.” “I know, I know,” you say, shaking your head. “I screwed up. I just wish we could turn it around or something, you know?” “I do. But there’s not much we can do in this situation.” “Yeah. It’s not like we can spike the punch with a truth serum and ask everypony if they’re a changeling or not.” The room goes silent for a moment before Ditzy’s eyes meet yours. “Who says we can’t?” “What?” “Follow me on this one, Colonel.” Ditzy says, her smile growing bigger and bigger by the second. “The charity ball is a yearly thing and almost everypony in town attends. We know at this moment that Starburst will not be attending due to prior commitments.” “Uh-huh...” “But there will still be at least half of, if not three fourths of Ponyville in and around Sugarcube Corner.” It’s all starting to click. “If the changeling took over someone who’s a regular to this event...” Ditzy taps her nose. “You got it. They’ll be there.” You run a hoof down the side of your face before shrugging. “But then what? We dose everypony with truth serum? That’ll cause a lot more problems, to be honest.” Ditzy shakes her head. “Not a truth serum. More like a potion of some kind, though. Like an alteration spell. But first, we need to get our hooves on something like that...” Reaching into your desk, you pull out the long forgotten spell tube and hold it up to Ditzy. “Something like-Whoops.” You look down at your foreleg and notice it’s taken on a new color: neon green. Shrugging, you remember Doctor Dala’s instructions and give the spell tube another shake, the green quickly fading back into your original coat color. “Something like this?” Ditzy’s doing her best not to laugh. “You are too much sometimes, Colonel.” “Really?” You feel yourself start to smirk and give the spell tube another shake, this time giving you a vibrant pink coat. “Well come now honey~” You say in a lisping, stereotypical voice. “We can’t just dilly-dally all day, we gotta get something to find that mean old changeling and-” Whether it was the lisp, how bright pink you were, or the little flair you did with your hoof as you said the words ‘dilly-dally’, Ditzy breaks down laughing again, holding her sides as she does her hardest to regain her composure. “O-Okay Colonel... Okay. Now all we need is somepony to-.” Not wasting a second, you flick the spell tube again, changing your fur color to a white sheen and put on the longest, most saddest face you can muster. “Hello all you happy ponies... You know what? I’m happy, too.” Ditzy’s cackling like a mad-mare possessed by now and all you can do is just keep going and seeing just how far you can push her. giving the spell tube another flick, your coat turns bright blue and an idea crosses your mind. Reaching into your desk, you pull out one of your old air force caps and flip it onto your head, all the while Ditzy watches you, doing her best to catch her breath. “A-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!” Hopping out of your chair, you take a deep breath and start bouncing from one set of legs to the other, dancing around the desk. “Ohhh I’m one tough gazooka that hates all palookas that ain’t on the up and squaaaaare~ Boy, I biffs ‘em and buffs ‘em and always outroughs ‘em and none of ‘em get nowhereee! If anyone guesses to risk my kicks, it’s buff and it’s wham undertstaaands? So keep good behavior, it’s your one life saver wi-” Ditzy’s finally in tears. She’s laughing so hard it doesn’t even make a sound anymore as she slips out of her chair and onto the floor. Flicking the spell tube one last time and regaining your normal coat color, you stow it away and walk over to the laughing mare. “You okay there Ditzy? Didn’t break ya, did I?” With a deep breath and a giggle Ditzy finally manages to get some modicum composure. “I-I-I’m good...” She says with a giggle. “Now, uh... What was I saying?” “Something along the lines of ‘needing somepony to-’ and then laughter.” Ditzy’s eyes go wide and she nods. “Right, right... We need somepony to turn the spell tube into a potion.” “What? Can’t we just, you know? Crack it open into the punch bowl or something?” Ditzy shakes her head violently and holds up her hooves. “No, no, no! If you break that tube, it’ll cause the magic to go wild. Best case scenario? Explosion.” You grimace slightly and run a hoof down to the lock on the drawer where the spell tube sits and turn it. “Noted. Can you prepare it or-” “Nope. I know magical theory, but you’d need an actual unicorn to actually get it prepared.” Clicking your teeth, you mull over Ditzy’s words for a second before smiling. “Twilight.” “Twilight?” Ditzy asks curiously. “Yeah. She’s supposed to have been filled in by the Princesses about what’s going on and will help us if we need her to.” Ditzy lets out a long sigh and shrugs. “It’s our best bet at the moment. We can’t ask a random unicorn to just brew an alteration potion for us. But...” “But?” “But, I’m not going with you. I hope I don’t need to tell you why.” It takes a moment, but it finally hits you. “If you were there, Twilight would know just who you really are.” Ditzy hangs her head and sighs. “Yeah... Even though she’s an Element of Harmony, she’s still the town’s librarian I see every day around 12:30 who tutors my kids.” Hanging your head, you let out a sigh and slink back to your desk. “You know... I can’t wait to get this whole business behind us.” “I’m with you, Colonel. There are so many ponies who dreams of having an exciting life filled with adventure. I’ve lived that kind of life and now-” “All you want is a nice, normal, boring life?” You finish for her. Ditzy nods and reaches up, adjusting your hat. “I guess I’m preaching to the choir, aren’t I?” Taking off your hat, you brush the lint off and laugh. “That you are, sister... That you are. Well, we got work to do still. Keep an eye on the front desk and I’ll get the letters sorted for the day before you have to do your rounds. Sound good?” Ditzy gives you a half smile and nods. “That it does. After though? What are your plans?” You give Ditzy a shrug and start making your way for the door. “Probably stop by the library and pick my library card.” ********************************************************* Looking up at the massive tree that was Golden Oaks Library, you crack a little smile. Man. Been a long time since I saw Twilight. Last time was when she was... Five? Six? I don’t think she’d even remember me. Walking up to the door, you rap a hoof against it before stepping in. Still remember that little tyke’s smile as she watched Celestia scramble the Air Force. Still smiling, you lock eyes with the purple unicorn who was currently laying on a pile of pillows with a book thick enough to be mistaken for a dictionary. Probably is a dictionary, you think with a laugh. Wouldn’t be the first time she read one. Clearing your throat, you get Twilight’s attention. “Oh, hello!” She says, closing her book in a hurry. “I didn’t hear you come in. Can I help you?” You roll your shoulders and wander over to one of the bookcases and start towards one of the bookcases. “New here. Was hoping to get a library card and maybe pick up a few books. That a problem?” Twilight shakes her head. “No, not at all.” Getting up and setting the book down, Twilight makes her way over to a desk next to the far wall and opens up one of the drawers. “What kind of books are you interested in, by the way? I didn’t get a chance to really get to know you at Pinkie Pie’s welcoming party.” “It’s no biggie... And I got a few books in mind. Definitely want to get my hooves on White Fang.” “Ohhh, I’ve read that one. It’s pretty grim from time to time, but it has a certain charm to it. I especially liked the ending,” she says, smiling as she pulls out a number of black cards. “Got any others?” Taking a deep breath, you steady your gaze right into Twilight. “I’m also looking for Crepusculum Opportunus Nox Noctis.” For a few moments, the library is silent. Twilight stands there stock still as she stares into the drawer before reaching in and pulling out a clay tablet and dropping it on the floor. “What the...” That’s as much as you can get out before Twilight brings her hoof down on the tablet, shattering it into pieces. A pitched buzz echoes through the library and on every wall and window, a purple rune glows on it for less than a second before disappearing. “Right,” Twilight says as she starts walking towards you. “I just activated a number of noise dampening spells, illusion spells on the windows, and a perception filter on the door. No one’s going to hear us, anyone looking in will see two ponies going about their business, and we have no fear of anyone walking in. We have ten minutes. What do you need?” You can’t help but blink in confusion and open your mouth a few times, only to close it. Damn. So much for the cute little filly. Stop gaping. “Ummm. Uh, right. I’m going to need a little help,” you say as you fumble around with your saddlebag. “You see, I need an alteration potion by tonight. I have-” “I’m sorry, tonight?” Twilight asks, her gaze growing stronger. “I may be good, but I am in no way that good. It takes at least 48 hours to distill the spell into a liquid-” “Which is why I brought this.” Pulling the spelltube out of your saddlebag, you present it to Twilight, who quickly stops talking. “Think you can use this?” A purple aura starts to envelope the spelltube and it leaves your hoof, floating an inch away from Twilight’s face. “Clever... They put a resonant crystal in the liquid and they’re using alchemical silver caps to activate it.” She looks up to you, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Yes, this will help. Are you sure you want to use this though? I’ll have to disassemble it and it’ll be useless when everything is said and done.” You let out a sigh. “Wish I had more choice in the matter, but this is all last second. So, you can do it, right?” “Oh yes, it won’t be too hard. I just have to undo the containment spell, extract the pure liquid and process it a bit.” “Sweet.” “Actually, bitter. Alteration potions taste quite bitter and leave a distinct aftertaste on the tongue and... you weren’t actually talking about the potion, were you?” You shrug and start getting your saddlebag back on. “Not really. But hey, good to know. If the punch doesn’t cover up the taste though, I could just throw some rum in with it and blame it on that if anyone asks.” Twilight’s eyes go wide and gets at least an inch away from your face. “Do NOT mix potions with alcohol!” she practically screams. “Jeez, alright alright!” You say, backing up a few steps. “What’s so dangerous about mixing drinks?” Besides the chance of waking up next to a mare you’ve never met before. “The alcohol affects the properties of magic in the potion itself.” She says as she puts the spelltube away. “In chemistry terms, the ethanol causes the potion’s ‘enzymes’ to become denatured. But instead of no reaction, the substrates-” “Twilight, can you bring it down for somepony who may or may have not been drafted before he could finish high school?” Twilight freezes up and looks at you, her face a mix of shock and horror. “I, uh... Okay, well... Okay! In simplest terms, the alcohol causes the potion to take on random properties. Nothing deadly mind you, but an invisibility may end up levitating you or even change your gender.” “Noted. Alright, anything else I need to know?” You ask as you throw your saddlebags back on. “Nothing that comes to mind. I’ll have the potion ready in about three hours,” Twilight says with a nervous smile. “And well... If you ever want to, um... finish school I-” You can’t help but laugh aloud. “Twilight, I said I was drafted while in high school. Got my G.E.D. after the Draconic-Equis Peace Treaty was brokered.” Twilight nods slowly. “Ohhh... Wait. You actually fought in the New Draco-Equis war?” She asks, a look of doubt in her eyes. “You’d have to be at least-” “Well Twilight! It’s been fun, but I really must be going.” “But-” “Besides, the ten minutes are up.” Twilight perks up and takes a look around the library only to nod. “Okay then... Flare Chaser. Good luck.” You give her a little wave and a smile and start making your way out the door of the library and into the streets of Ponyville before letting your shoulder sag. Twilights words still echo in your ears. God, the look on her face as she was piecing it together... She almost looked... You shake your head free of the errant thoughts and take a deep breath. “Alright! Gotta find me a date,” you say under your breath. ************************************************************** “I’m back!” You call out as you enter the post office. Ditzy looks up from a stack of papers on the desk and gives you a smile. “Welcome back. Got your library card, I take it?” You give her a shrug and kick off your saddlebag. “Twilight says she needs to get some special paper or something for the card. Hey, need your help going over requisition reports. Mind giving me a hoof?” Ditzy shakes her head. “Not at all.” Both you and her make your way for the back office and close the door behind you and lock it. “Alright, now how’d it really go?” You give Ditzy a smile. “Perfect. Twilight said the potion would be ready in three hours. All I need now is to dig out my old suit and find me a date.” Ditzy’s eyes narrow slightly. “What do you mean find a date?” “Uhh... Like I said. I need a date for the charity ball, remember? It’s a couples thing, apparently. I’m just going to-” “Colonel, I’m going to be your date.” Ditzy says bluntly. “Are you sure? I mean, I thought you were gonna do your overwatch thing.” Ditzy lets out a long sigh and gives you a tired look. “Colonel, if the changeling really is there and they’re revealed, things could get violent. They may even take a hostage. It’d be better to have the both of us on the floor than one.” “Alright, that make sense.” You say, nodding slowly. “Soooo... Got anything pretty to wear?” “Just what’s that supposed to mean?” You jump slightly and hold your hooves out. “Just asking if you’re dressing up too, sheesh. I was gonna offer to buy you a dress if you didn’t have one already.” Ditzy looks to you, surprise painting her face. “Really?  I... Well, I don’t really have a good dress. I mean, I have one but I’ve only ever wore it once. That’d... I’d like that Colonel. Thank you.” “No problem, just send an invoice my way. Now, I gotta get myself ready. Pick you up around 8 tonight? Sound good?” “Sound’s good Colonel.” Glancing at the clock, Ditzy lets out a sigh of relief. “Time to punch out. I’ll see you then, Colonel.” You give Ditzy a little wave as she sees herself out. Relaxing in your chair, you look up to the ceiling and smile. “We’re gonna get this bastard tonight. I just know it.” ************************************************************** “Alright... Let’s see. Mane greased back? Check. Suit pressed and looking quite dapper? Check. Watch? Check. Wallet? Double check. Flask... Check a check. All good.” Looking away from your reflection in the storefront window, you start making your way towards Ditzy’s house. This is old stallion can still look good when he wants to, you think with a smile as you walk up to Ditzy’s doorstep. You bring your hoof up to the door only to stop when it starts to open. “Well good evening Flare Chaser, I saw you walking down the street and... What? What’s with the look?” You’re at a loss for words. Ditzy did go out and did buy herself a new dress. An evening gown to be more specific. Long, black, and made of some sort of shimmering material that glistened in the moonlight. She didn’t just stop there, but had her mane braided and sported ruby red lipstick. “Are you okay?” Shaking your head and bringing yourself back to reality, you give Ditzy a nervous laugh. “Give a stallion time to pick his jaw up the floor, will ya? Not everyday a stallion has a supermodel greet him.” “Quit joking around,” she says with a small blush, her eyes narrowing on you. “We’re going to be late for the ball.” Without another word, Ditzy starts down the road with you hot on her heels. “Hey, come on. I wasn’t joking, you really look good,” you say as you join her side. “I might just have to keep the other stallions off of you with a stick once we get there.” You let out a little laugh that gets awkward when Ditzy keeps quiet. “I, uh... I got the thing,” you say above a whisper. “We’re pretty much all set. Do you have the radio thing?” Ditzy nods. “I already put mine in. Here’s yours.” Reaching into the front of her dress, Ditzy pulls out a little box and holds it out to you. “Now come on.” Opening up the box, you fumble the transmitter and receiver on while trying to keep up the pace. “Alright, so what’s the plan?” “I thought it was pretty straightforward,” Ditzy notes, craning her head as SugarCube Corner comes into view. “Get in, spike the punch, and wait. Twilight tell you how long it’ll take for it to go in effect?” “About an hour for full effects to be noticed, but after the first sip it’ll start doing its job.” Finally getting your transmitter on just as you approach the door, you give the door-pony a smile. “How’ya doing?” “Doing great, you’re just in time too. We just started selling raffle tickets. Oh, and-” “Entrance fee? Got it right here.” Reaching into your wallet, you pull out a couple of bits and give them to the door pony. “Alright, thanks. Now go have fun!” You give the door pony a nod and take a step into SugarCube Corner with Ditzy at your side. As soon as you step in, you immediately see a couple heads start turning and looking in your direction, some eyes fixed on you and some fixed on Ditzy. “Why are they staring?” Ditzy asks below a whisper. “That one stallion over there’s going to start attracting flies if he gapes any harder.” “Wait, that stallion is looking at you? Well, that makes me feel a bit better. But a bit jealous.” Ditzy starts giggling under her breath. “What? Jealous he’s looking at me or jealous he’s not looking at you?” “Little of column a, little of column b.” Lowering your voice, you start talking into the transmitter. “Split up now now and get a feel of the area?” Over the receiver, Ditzy’s voice comes in clear. “Good idea.” “Just try and act casual,” you add. Ditzy shoots you a glance before the both of you go in opposite directions. You start moving through the rather large crowd of ponies, slipping inbetween them and trying to take in as much information as possible. Three ponies recognized, some from the welcoming party. Small talk. No one in the corners. Nothing out of the ord-Shrimp. Your eyes drift to one of the snack tables and actually let out a chuckle. On the table sit a number of cocktail glasses with peeled shrimp hanging off the rim and cocktail sauce in the glass itself. “Don’t mind if I do.” Grabbing one of them, you start heading back and keep an eye out for Ditzy and find her near a table with two punch bowls sitting on it. She turns towards you, a small plastic smile on her face as a bright blue mare talks to her, which falters for a moment when she sees you. “Hey Ditzy, how’s it going?” You ask as you throw one of the shrimp into your mouth. “Not usually one for party food, but finally found something I like.” “Oh, I’ll tell you more later, Ditzy,” the mare says as she excuses herself. “Alright Shoeshine, I’ll see you later.” Ditzy says, giving Shoeshine a warm smile and a little wave as she walks away before turning to you, a look of disgust on her face. “How can you eat that?” “What, shrimp?” You ask as you pop another into your mouth. “I mean, sure they’ve got the shell and the legs, but get past those and they’re really goo-” “No, not that. Meat. You’re eating meat. You know that, right?” You blink a few times before nodding your head. “Yeah... What’s the-Wait a minute... You were born and raised in Ponyville, weren’t you?” “Yes, but I don’t see why that matters.” “I was born and raised in Cloudsdale,” you say plainly. “You were raised around earth ponies and unicorns, I was raised around pegasi and just pegasi. And one thing pegasi like to add to their diet every now and again is fish.” Ditzy stares at you like you’re speaking another language. Shrugging, you hold out a shrimp and offer it. “Try it.” “No thank you,” she says, pushing your hoof away. “Oh come on. One bite? You don’t like it, you can spit it out.” Ditzy looks away for a moment. “Why exactly do pegasi eat fish at Cloudsdale?” “Can’t grow crops on clouds, so you gotta trade for it. Way back when though, back when my grandpa was a kid, food shortages were common, so you had to make due. Some pegasi started catching fish like the gryphons and found they actually liked it. And adding another source of protein to their diet helped them build muscle when training. It ain’t like they’re going out hunting bunnies,” you say with a laugh. “And besides, shrimp are like the bugs of the sea.” “Oh, well that makes it sound just appetizing,” Ditzy says with a grimace. You take the last shrimp out of the cocktail glass, add a little a sauce and hold it out to Ditzy without a word. You and her lock eyes for a good minute before she finally sighs. “Fine. But if I get sick, it’s your fault.” Lurching out, she wraps her teeth around the shrimp and bites off half of it, her eyes screwed shut. After a few bites, she opens her eyes and gives you a surprised look. “Good?” Ditzy wipes at her mouth and nods. “Really good. And... It’s okay? I mean, to just eat fish?” “Ehh... You might get a little flak from earth ponies and unicorns who don’t know better, but it’s supposed to be common knowledge at this point about the whole Cloudsdale pegasi/fish thing.” Ditzy leans in and tries to get the shrimp you were still holding on to, but you pull it away. “Get your own,” you tease before popping the half-eaten piece into your mouth. “They got a whole table of these.” Her face scrunches up slightly as you chew the shrimp. “Oh you are just insufferable, Flare...” Ditzy says as she scans the room for the table in question. Looking over to the punch bowls, you give her a little nudge. “Never thought of the possibility of two punch bowls,” you whisper over the transmitter. “I think I only got enough potion for just one.” “You said it takes an hour for the full effects to kick in, right?” Ditzy chimes in over the radio. “Then... Dose one of the punch bowls. We’re going to need to make sure everyone gets a drink at some point.” “Hard to do this with everyone watching us...” “Leave that to me,” Ditzy says as she starts walking away. “Just be ready when it happens.” “Wait, what? It? What do you mean by it?” Ditzy doesn’t answer and instead starts walking in the direction you came from. With a heavy sigh, you lean against the table and feel around in your suit pocket for the flask. Just be ready just be ready. Your hoof fumbles with the cap, your nerves getting the best of you as you every pony walking by you gives you a quick glance before moving on. Off in the distance, you see Ditzy walking towards one of the snack tables and then you see it. Her gown bunching up underneath her feet. In one motion, she moves a leg only for it to be caught and sent tumbling forwards, knocking into one of the tables and sending a couple glass bottles rolling off, hitting the ground with a loud smash. Ready ready ready. Getting the cap off of the flask, you pull it out and hover it over one the punch bowls, only to stop as you hear somepony walking behind you. Acting nonchalantly, you tuck the flask near your barrel and start maneuvering around the table, acting like you didn’t hear the crash. With the crowd no longer to your back, you look at the punchbowl on the right, the crowd, and then smile. Pouring the contents into the bowl as quickly as you can, you empty the flask and stow it away. “Alright, done.” You say over the transmitter. “I spiked the punchbowl on the right. Grab a drink when you get back, I got an idea how to get everypony to drink.” You sit back and watch as Ditzy is brought back to her hooves, dusted off and sent on her way, thanking everypony and apologizing along the way. Filling up a glass, you give her a little and start making your way towards the center of the room. “Everypony! Everypony!” You call out, getting the attention of everyone in the room. “I’d like to make a toast, so charge your glasses!” A murmur ripples through the crowd and in a few moments, there’s a line at the punch bowls with the biggest line at the one you spiked. “Perfect...” In a few moments, Ditzy’s at your side and everypony has a filled glass of punch and are looking at you expectantly. Alright, bullshit time... “I haven’t been here in Ponyville nearly as long as most of you,” you say as you hold your glass high. “But I already feel like I’m part of another family. So, here’s to everypony here who looks out for each other, for that pony there to help pick us up when we fall and to get us back on the right path. You guys and gals are the real heroes. Cheers.” You bring your glass to your lips and throw it back, downing it all in one go. Everypony follows your cue and gives you a little round of applause when they finish. Smiling, you toss the plastic cup into the garbage can and join Ditzy’s side by the far wall. “How’d I do?” “Very nice, Flare,” Ditzy says as she brings her cup to her lips. “Anything you’d like to do? Party’s almost in full swing.” Clicking your teeth, you glance at the table across the room. “I was going to grab another shrimp cocktail. Did you want one?” Ditzy lets out a little laugh. “That actually sounds very good. Thank you Flare~” “Uh, sure.” You laugh back and start towards the table with an uneasy feeling. Jeez... What’s with that laugh? I mean, it sounded almost. You’re jarred from your thoughts just as you walk up to the table, bumping into Pinkie Pie. “Oh heya Flare! How ya liking the party?” She asks, a platter balanced on her back with six more shrimp cocktails. “Oh I’m enjoying myself,” you say as you grab a plate and a couple cocktails. “Especially enjoying the shrimp. Never could really afford it on my salary. Why ya serving it anyway?” “Oh, well you can thank Dashie for that. Some of her friends were visiting from Cloudsdale and I thought I’d serve up a little something from them,” she says with a smile as she bounces the platter off of her back and on to the table. “Well, thanks anyway Pinkie.” You start to turn and make your way back to Ditzy, but Pinkie cuts you off and puts a hoof around your shoulder. “So just between you and me,” she says below a whisper. “Just what did you spike the punch with?” Your throat starts closing up and all you can do is manage a startled little squeak. “W-What?” “Oh, well I saw you pouring stuff from a flask into the punch and I thought ‘Ooooh what could be that be?’ and I was gonna ask you later, but I caught you here so I thought I’d ask.” Think fast numb nuts. “...Yeah. Can’t blame a stallion for wanting to liven up the party. It’s just a bit of amaro. It’s a little bitter, but compliments sweet stuff pretty well.” Pinkie nods quickly. “Oooh, that sounds good. Kind of like a sweet and sourball. I’ll have to give it a taste. The champagne probably makes it soooo much better.” “Champagne?” You ask, your jaw dropping slightly. “Yeeeeah...” Pinkie says with a little blush. “I had the same idea you had about 10 minutes before the party started and decided to toss a little champagne into the punch bowls. It gives it a real nice fizzy taste~” A single word echoes through your head as it all starts to piece together. Fuck. Clearing your throat, you take a step away from Pinkie and laugh. “Well, good to know. I guess I’ll think twice next time.” “Ohh it’s fine!” Pinkie says, laughing back. “What’s a good party without a little spiked punch?” “Yeah, you got me there. Welp, better get this back to Ditzy. Catch ya later, Pinkie!” She gives you a little wave and you do your best not to show the panic on your face. “Ditzy, the mission’s FUBAR. I repeat. The mission is FUBAR, TARFU, and get ready to BOHIC.” You wait a few seconds for some sort of response, but get none. Slipping through the crowd, you finally see Ditzy, sitting in a chair and sipping her punch with a big, dopey grin. “Well there ya are Flare!” She says as she gets to her hooves. “Was wondering what was taking so long. Oooh~ Here, let me grab one of those.” Grabbing one of the shrimp cocktails off your back, Ditzy lets out a chuckle and slumps back in her chair. “Need to get the taste of this punch out of my mouth...” “Ditzy, didn’t you hear me?” You say below a whisper. “The mission is FUBAR. Pinkie spiked both punch bowls before we got here. We need to get ready for damage control and-” “It’s fiiine,” Ditzy says as she waves a hoof at you. “I mean, what can we do? Nothing really except sit back and watch.” Your jaw’s hanging slack at this point and that uneasy feeling you had has grown into full blown panic. “Ditzy, something’s wrong with you, you gotta-” “Uch!” Reeling back, she holds the glass of punch out and shakes her head. “Seriously, what are they putting in this? I don’t know why I keep drinking this... Tastes like liquid dandelion greens...” “Dandelion greens? What are you-” Your stomach sinks into your hooves as it hits you. “Ditzy... What punch bowl did you drink out of?”