//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 - Do This In My Sleep // Story: Ponies Learn Calculus // by Lopsy //------------------------------// 11:58 PM, later that night – basement of Twilight’s library Twilight sat hunched at her workdesk. Disassembled pieces of the camera lay strewn across the surface: panels, wires, and dozens of screws. On the wall behind the desk was a chalkboard, containing Twilight’s detailed diagram showing where each part had been. Twilight’s attention was focused on a heavy black cube. It had been the bulk of the camera, and it still had a few wires sticking out. Her intuition told her that, whatever secrets this technology had to offer, she would find them inside the cube. But it wasn’t going to be easy. When Twilight had disassembled the rest of the camera, most steps had gone as expected. But when she tried to use her magic on anything connected to the black box -- “OWWWWWW!” Twilight jumped back. Her horn throbbed. It felt like somepony had just grabbed it and shook it up and down 60 times in a row. Suddenly, she heard footsteps descending the stairs above. “Twilight?” a voice called down. “What’s with the yelling? Is everything okay?” “Yes, Spike,” she sighed. “Are you sure? Because you’ve yelled ‘OWWWWWWW!’ about five times.” Twilight facehooved. “Sorry, Spike. I’ll try to yell quieter. You can go back to bed.” She was getting tired herself. She decided to get a midnight snack. She trotted upstairs to get a glass of milk. I can’t give up now, she thought. I’m so close! If I could just hold on to the box long enough to give the side one good yank… Twilight re-entered the basement. Her eyes flew wide open. She accidentally released her telekinetic hold on the glass of milk. It hit the floor and shattered. She barely noticed. “What.” The camera had disappeared. The black cube, and every single screw, wire, and panel, were gone. Twilight took a long, deep breath. “You win this round, camera,” she muttered. “But I’ll be back. You’ll rue the day you tried to outwit Twilight Sparkle.” * * * Cloudsdale Stadium, the next day Twilight sat in the stands, surrounded by Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy. The aerobatics competition was well underway. So far, each of the pegasi’s dizzying twirls impressed Twilight to no end. But, though she tried her best to hide it, she was starting to get bored. After 14 entrants, Twilight felt like she was eating chocolate cake. Yes, each cake was unique and delicious. But no, that doesn’t mean she wanted to eat 15 more. Fortunately, the announcer had just called a much-needed 10-minute break. She excused herself, saying she had to go the restroom, and then made her way to the judges’ table. She had a question nagging at her head. “Excuse me,” she said, “do you have a minute?” One of the judges, a brown stallion, checked his watch. “We’ve got three. What’s the matter?” “I’ve been wondering, how do you make sure the entrants stay under the 20 p/s speed limit? Is there some kind of spell?” Another judge, a light-green pegasus with tan-colored hair, stepped forward. “That’s easy, girl,” she said. She spat on her hoof and held it out. “My name’s Epsilon, by the way. My friends call me Lonnie.” Twilight ignored the hoof. “I’m Twilight. Nice to meet you… Lonnie.” “Measuring a pegasus’ speed is a piece a’ cake,” Epsilon said. “You’ve just gotta formulize ‘er.” Twilight cocked her head. “Formulize?” “Yeah, girl,” said the green mare. “Check out that pegasus,” she said, pointing at a random stallion. “He’s flying along the path y=x², with constant speed 3 p/s.” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wh-what! How did you do that?” “Anypony can do it,” she said. “It’s like whistling. Here, look at that grey pegasus.” “The one blowing up a balloon?” “Right. Now, try to formulize that balloon.” Twilight stared at the balloon. Nothing happened. “Er. What am I supposed to do?” “It’s like whistling. It’s hard to explain. Just kind of… meditate. Let some math drift into your head. All zen-like, sha.” Twilight stared at the balloon some more. This is ridiculous, she thought. She let her mind wander for a few seconds. Nothing. Stupid Twilight – thinking anypony could pick up a talent like this just by watching for a few seconds. I bet – “0.5+3√t hooflengths?” came a very quiet voice from behind her. Twilight spun around and saw Fluttershy. “Yup, that’s right, girl! The radius of the balloon was 0.5+3√t hooflengths, at time t seconds after she starting blowing it up.” “Wha!- Fluttershy?! Where did you – What did you – when did you – how did you do that?!” Fluttershy ducked her head into the clouds. “I just did what she told me to…” “But – but –” “Break’s over!” Epsilon trotted back behind the judges’ table. “Get ready. The next competitor’s called ‘Rainbow Dash.’ I hear she’s good.” With no time to get back to their seats, Twilight and Fluttershy decided to watch from the judges’ table. They cheered as Rainbow flew to the center of the stadium. Dash started out with a standard triple aileron roll. Oddly, she was going slower than during the rehearsal. Twilight guessed she was really worried about the speed limit. Dash led the rolls into a twisting vertical loop, to the delight of the crowd. “Did she just yawn?” whispered Fluttershy. “Did she?” Twilight squinted. “She’s probably bored of these tricks and wants to get to the big finish. Yep. That’s probably it.” The big finish came soon enough. Twilight watched Rainbow Dash line herself up. She had pulled it off fifty times late last night, but could she pull it off when it counted? The crowd oohed and aahed as Rainbow slowly rotated upside down. “Wow!” said a nearby stallion. “She even has her eyes closed!” Eyes closed? Twilight thought. I don’t remember that part of the trick. In front of her, Rainbow Dash started her dive. It didn’t look exactly like last night’s rehearsal. For one, she wasn’t rotating to match the angle of her descent. For two, her wings were flapping significantly slower. If Twilight didn’t know better, she would’ve guessed Rainbow were falling. And falling. And… yep, still falling. The stadium fell into a hush. Everypony waited for Dash’s grand recovery. Twilight looked down, in a panic. Rainbow was falling straight towards the weather factory. Twilight charged up her telekinesis, but she was already out of range. By now, not even the Wonderbolts were fast enough to dive and catch Rainbow. Rainbow fell closer and closer to the factory’s wind machine. Twilight grimaced and squinched her eyes. By the way, the Cloudsdale Weather Factory is constructed out of packed clouds. For all the earth ponies and unicorns reading this, picture some hay. Nice and soft when it’s spread out into a haystack. When it’s packed into a bale… not so much. The crowd gasped. Twilight opened her eyes. Rainbow had disappeared. The muttering around her told her what had happened. Rainbow had fallen down a chimney into the factory’s wind machine. To their credit, the factory workers reacted fast. Far below, two of them grabbed a loose cloud and put it directly under the falling pegasus. “Phew,” said Twilight. “At least everypony’s going to be safe.” Rainbow hit the cloud, bounced off of it, and landed belly-first on a large control panel filled with switches and levers. A large grey mass started coming out of the wind machine’s chimney. A large, whirling grey mass. It was moving upwards. Directly towards the stadium. “Tornado!” A Wonderbolt raced through the stadium below them, herding pegasi away. “Evacuate the stadium. Do not panic!” Twilight panicked. “Don’t panic!” said Epsilon. “Seriously, girl. We deal with rogue tornadoes every other week.” “Deal with them? How?” “Well, a tornado is just a bunch a’ air spinning around, right?” “Right…” “So, if you blow a whole bunch a’ air spinning the opposite direction at the exact same speed, it’ll counter it.” Twilight took a few seconds to process this. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to stop this tornado…” “Yeah?” “By launching another tornado at it.” “You’ve got it, girl.” Twilight looked down. Sure enough, the weather team pulled switches and pushed clouds, and a second tornado soon came out of the chimney. It rose, quickly catching up to the first tornado. Twilight gasped as the two whirling twisters collided. Chaos erupted in the air. Dirt flew in every direction. And when the dust settled… A tornado, twice as large as before, was rising towards the stadium. “Uh-oh,” said Epsilon. “That was supposed to happen, right?” said Fluttershy. “Please say that was supposed to happen.” “They got the speed wrong,” said Epsilon. “If two tornadoes aren’t rotating at th’ exact same speed, then instead of cancellin’ out, they merge into one bigger one.” Fluttershy stuffed her head back into the clouds. Epsilon stared down at the tornado, deep in thought. Her hooves twitched. Her eyes unfocused. “…It’s no good,” she concluded. “What?” said Twilight, for the third time that day. “I was trying to formulize the tornado’s spinning speed. But it’s moving too fast to tell. I have to get closer.” Before Twilight could object, Epsilon flapped her wings and glided down towards the spinning mass of chaos. Twilight followed her down. She paused, wings beating furiously, above the whirling grey-brown top of the storm. Twilight strained her ears to hear Epsilon over the storm: “Got it! The tornado will crash into the stadium exactly ten minutes after it formed. And the angle of the tornado, at the time t seconds after it formed, is—” Just then, a plank of wood flew out of the tornado, straight towards Epsilon. She folded her wings and dived down. The plank flew inches over her head. Unfortunately, diving down is a bad idea when you’re hovering above a tornado. Twilight averted her eyes. She heard a scream: “t² degrees! So the airspeed – AAAAAA!” When Twilight opened her eyes again, Lonnie was a green tumbling mass, spinning around like a sock in a washing machine. Twilight riffled through her brain, searching for a spell that would help. Unfortunately, any spell that would destroy the tornado would also hurt Lonnie. Don’t panic, Twilight thought to herself. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. There is one way out. A second tornado. Which means… all I have to do is figure out the tornado’s airspeed. Twilight flew back up to the stadium and retrieved her parchment and quill. She wrote down: Tornado crashes into stadium 10 mins after forming Angle of the tornado, t seconds after forming: t² The “angle of the tornado”? What does that mean? As Twilight was trying to figure this out, a cyan pegasus flapped up behind her and laid face-down on the cloud. “Heeeey,” yawned Rainbow Dash. “’Sup? What’d I miss?” Twilight’s eyes twitched. “…Rainbow?” “Yeah? What’s wrong, you nervous about something?” Twilight gulped. “…Rainbow, are you feeling alright?” “Uhh, yeah? A little nervous about the competition later today, but I’m fine.” “L-later today?” “Yeah. I just had a nightmare about it.” She shivered. “But that’s not gonna stop me! I’m ready to show the Wonderbolts what I’m made of.” Rainbow beamed, looking straight into Twilight’s eyes. Twilight looked away. She didn’t want to be around when Dash found out what happened. If she was going to receive news like this, she’d want it to be in a warm bed with at least three liters of double chocolate ice cream at hoof. Rainbow Dash had to find out eventually, but she vowed to break the news at the least stressful time possible. Or preferably get somepony else to break the news while she waited in a bunker five kilometers away. “…Rainbow! Quick question. Suppose, hypothetically, there was a tornado whose angle was t², where t is the number of seconds after it formed.” “Um, okay.” Rainbow scratched her ear. “Hey, what’s that weird whirring noise?” “Whirring? I don’t hear any whirring. Nope. Definitely no whirring here.” “Never mind. It’s probably just the wind.” Twilight grinned madly. “So,” Dash continued, “angles, huh? So, like, when the tornado first forms, its angle is 0²=0? What does that even mean?” “I’m not sure myself. What about…” Twilight picked a random number. “19 seconds later? After 19 seconds, the tornado’s angle is 19²=361 degrees.” Rainbow scratched her chin. “So in 19 seconds, the tornado spun a little more than one full turn. That’s pretty slow.” “You’re right. It must have sped up since then.” “What? Twilight, you said this was all hypothetical.” “R-right! The hypothetical tornado.” Spitfire yelled from below: “EVACUATE! Seven minutes!” “Whoa. What’s going on?” “Rainbow, wait!” Rainbow poked her head over the edge of the cloud and looked down. “I can explain—” Rainbow’s eyes opened wide. Then her face scrunched up. Then she started screaming. “Well, crap.”