//------------------------------//
// Chapter 6: Lunar Intelligence Agency 
// Story: Agent Con Mane in Doctor Ironhoof (Under Revision) 
// by Fairytail 
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	It was a symphony of seagulls and crashing waves, accompanied by the percussion of hooves clopping on weathered, wooden docks and simple sailing ships gently nudging their neighbors tied to the moors. The Janeighcan fishing trade, along with tourism, kept the island colony afloat. The fish that occupied the Ponibean waters served all sorts of purposes throughout the world. Carnivorous beings, such as Griffons, would pay top bit for fresh Ponibean crab. Fish oil was used for medicinal purposes as an ingredient in many healthcare products and Zebra potion brews. Many wealthy ponies even fished just for sport.
There were very few ponies at the docks when Joe arrived. The midday heat was squelching and a passing overcast had made the air humid. Most of the fishing boats were docked with their captains scrubbing away or performing various maintenance. The sea side restaurants and cider shacks were all empty save for staff preparing their establishments for the late night rush. As Joe slowly walked down the hill towards the sandy shore he scoped out the many Zebras that were attending their boats. Whenever the Zebras would bunch up together, Joe’s vision would wander and blur. He couldn't keep his eyes focused on any one Zebra for too long and after a while they all started to look the same. Joe questioned whether or not that was a testament to their evolution, or if he was just being racist.
A very young Zebra filly was walking across the boardwalk towards Joe’s direction. She happily carried a small basket of assorted fruits on her back and Joe assumed she must be helping out one of her parents at one of the nearby shacks. Joe walked over to the filly and stopped her in her tracks.
“Hey, kid.” He said. The little filly stepped back a bit. She was clearly uncomfortable with Joe’s presence and so he put on his most trusting smile. “Hey, it’s ok. I just want to ask for directions. Would you happen to know where I can find a Zebra named Anavua? He’s big, with a braided mane.” Joe mimed the dreadlocks around his head with his hooves.
The Zebra foal’s eyes seemed to brighten a bit and she pointed her hoof towards a small fishing boat tied to the docks with a red and white paint job. A large Zebra wearing a bright red collared shirt was kneeling in front of it.
“That there Zebra using glue to patch a leak. That is the pony that you seek.” The little foal’s voice squeaked with enthusiasm.
The Zebra in question raised his head slightly to wipe the sweat out of his eyes, and Joe could definitely make out Anavua’s telltale mane-do.
“Thanks, kid.” Joe said, “Yer a big help!”
The foal’s eyes widened and twinkled. She then continued on her way, skipping along with closed eyes, a massive smile and singing a local folk song.
“Underneath the apple tree, me pony and me, under Luna’s Moon.”
Now feeling particularly good about himself, Joe carefully trotted towards the red and white dinghy. He brushed away a trickle of sweat from his matted mane and was glad that he wisely changed out of his business suit. He was wearing an off-white collared shirt that coolly flapped in the ocean breeze. As Joe approached Anavua he was able to fully appreciate the girth of the Zebra. He was easily one and a half times the typical size of his fellow brethren. Joe, as out of shape as he was, possessed a size that was typical of many Earth Pony stallions (which had always led him to believe that he came from a line of Earth Pony farmers). And yet even he could sense the aura of intimidation. The large Zebra was clenching a paintbrush in his mouth. Nearby sat a bucket of freshly harvested tree sap that he was using to coat a small patch of the boat’s exterior.
“Hey, you!” Joe said loudly enough to outperform the nearby waves. The Zebra either did not hear, or chose to ignore Joe. “Your name Anavua?”
The Zebra snorted hot air from his nostrils and stopped painting. He spoke without taking his eyes off of his work, still clenching the brush in his teeth.
“Whether or not I look up from my task… will depend on why you ask.” He dipped his brush into the bucket for fresh sap and continued his project.
“I’m looking to hire this fine boat of yours” Joe said. And it was a fine boat. The frame was streamlined yet sturdy. The motor on the back of the boat was probably powered by bottled lightning; not as efficient or expensive as rainbows but a craft like this would certainly run circles around a simple sailboat. Anavua still did not pay Joe any heed.
“I’m afraid you made a waste of a trip. For you see, Captain, I don’t hire out my ship.”
“But I hear you recently took out a pony named Strange Ways on a fishing trip.”
Anavua flared his nostrils yet again. “Maybe not, maybe so. But it ain't something you need to know.”
“Well actually Strange Ways was a good friend of mine.”
Anavua smiled at the remark and blew air again, but this time it more resembled a laugh. “Well ain't that fantastic? You pony folk always say friendship is magic.”
“I was hoping you could tell me what happened to him?”
Anavua finally placed his brush in his bucket and stood up on all fours. He stared at Joe through his raggedy braids. “As far as I know, nothing happened.” He smirked and narrowed his brow. “Unless you know different, Captain.”
“Where did you take him?” Joe asked calmly.
Anavua smiled while he quickly jutted his head to the side to direct Joe’s gaze. “Behold the sea full of fish and ships. That is where I took him- on fishing trips.”
Anavua continued to stare at Joe with an amused smile. His eyes didn't waver and his breathing remained steady. Joe knew from experience that he’d get nothing more out of the Zebra.
“Guess I got the wrong address.” Joe relented. Anavua’s smile grew even wider.
"Don’t feel bad, Captain. Things like this tend to happen.” Anavua bent down and picked up the bucket’s handle with his teeth. “Now I’m afraid I must be going. I find this conversation very boring.”
Joe could only watch in silence as Anavua trotted away down the pier. Joe tightly clenched his jaw as he watched his only lead get away. Joe’s mind turned to Strange Ways. Images of various scenarios flashed in his mind, all of which involved Anavua and his cocky smile. He kept his eye on the Zebra who was moving farther and farther away. This time, when Anavua passed by other Zebras, Joe’s vision did not waver. He knew that Anavua was one Zebra he would never forget.
Just as Joe was prepared to leave the docks with nothing to show for his troubles, he noticed that Anavua had stopped in the distance. He turned his head and looked backwards towards Joe’s direction. Even from that distance Joe could feel Anavua’s gaze on him. Joe always felt that there was something magical about a Zebra’s eyes. They would always look mystical and knowledgeable. There were times when he was sure that their eyes would glow with an otherworldly light and staring into them would put a pony into a trance. Joe could feel it this time too. He could feel a strange sensation dance across his body like a spell. It beckoned him like a beautiful song or a freshly baked loaf of bread. Joe was already walking down the pier towards Anavua. Anavua was on the move again as well. He went inside a large fruit shack that was built over the beach with a wide open store front and plenty of room for dancing. As Joe approached the shack, his attention turned to the Zebra filly from earlier. She happily stood atop a small stage out near the boardwalk. Behind her stood a family of fully grown Zebra playing traditional music on horn, guitar and marimba. The filly sang into a microphone along with her band. Her voice was young in pitch but experienced in tradition. Joe found himself walking towards the shack to the rhythm of the uptempo, tropical beat.


Underneath the apple tree, me pony and me
Under Luna’s Moon
Underneath the apple tree, me pony and me
Will be married soon

Underneath the moonlit sky, me pony and I
Come sit hoof in hoof
Underneath the moonlit sky, me pony and I
Dream of building a roof.


The restaurant was empty, but the inside was well built. Strong, sturdy beams held up the thick, hay roof. Joe saw Anavua sitting at a stool in front of the juice bar which was being attended by a kind looking Zebra polishing a glass. Joe approached the counter and stood at Anavua’s side.
“Waiter, I’ll have hay, nice and long.” said Anavua, pretending to just now notice Joe, “Well if it isn't my friend what gets addresses wrong. You found the right one this time, if good food is what you’re hoping to find.”
“Good food is only one half of a good diner.” Joe hopped onto one the stools next to Anavua’s. “The other half is friendly conversation.”
“If there is something private you wish to confide, a private place I can provide.” Anavua pointed towards a small cabana made out of tightly knitted palm tree branches. “If a place to talk is what you need, that back room there should do the deed.”
Anavua calmly got out of his stool and nodded at the barkeep who nodded back. Joe walked alongside Anavua and when they got to the door of the cabana there was a silent contest over who should enter first. Joe took the lead and entered the room which was obviously used for storage. Piles of bags and stacks of boxes filled with packaged grain lined the walls. Anavua entered next and shut the door behind him, blocking it with his massive frame. The room was cramped as it was and the presence of two large stallions didn't help matters. The lack of options available made Joe uneasy.
“Now that we can privately speak, how about you have a seat?”
“No, I’ll stand thanks.”
“Now in a friendly chat we shall take part. Now hows about you start!” Anavua’s friendly demeanor had vanished. His words were harsh and his muscles tensed. His nostrils flared with each breath.
“Tell me what you know about Strange Ways!” Joe returned the hostility.
Joe charged his horn. The grass green glow of his magic danced on the walls of the small room. Joe focused his concentration on Anavua’s large body. It would take everything Joe had to keep him from moving. However, the spell would not connect. Tried as Joe might, he wasn't able to wrap his spell around Anavua. Joe’s couldn't keep his vision focused again. No. It wasn't Joe’s sight that was blurry, It was Anavua himself. His form shimmered and danced like a mirage on a highway. Anavua was a flame upon a candlestick, flickering in and out of existence until all that was left of him was a ghostly wisp of smoke. Before Joe could investigate Anavua’s strange disappearance, something strong and thick pulled Joe backwards by the neck. He struggled to breath against the black striped arm that pressed tightly against his throat. Anavua’s head was right next to his, holding a large blade in his mouth, held near inches away from Joe’s jugular. Anavua’s nostrils flared intensely and rapidly and Joe could feel his hot sticky breath.
“If you weren't focused on your magical attack, you would have remembered to watch your back!” It was a decoy, Joe realized. An illusion Anavua used to distract Joe while the real thing snaked behind with the knife. It was a typical example of the Zebras’ cowardly excuse for magic. “You have been warned,” Anavua gloated with glee, “turn around now and I’ll cut off your horn.. And don’t try to run. I wrastle Cragadiles just for fun.”
“Hey,” Joe said in a strangled breath, “that’s a pretty clever trick. Unfortunately you forgot to take into account a key difference between us ponies and Cragadiles. And that’s the fact that the most dangerous part of a pony… is our hind legs!”
Joe bolstered all of his strength into his hind quarters. Channeling the strength of his ancestral roots, Joe pushed through Avanua’s girth his his own weight and bucked the Zebra square in the chest. Avanua crashed into a pile of boxes that splintered open burying him in a pile of broken wood and a tidal wave of oats that spilled out across the floor. With a roaring grunt and the loudest nostril flare Joe had ever heard, Anavua burst through the grain and leaped towards Joe.He pinned Joe to the ground and readied his knife. Joe picked up a nearby bag of potatoes with his magic and jettisoned it into the side of Anavua’s head. The knife, along with a rain of saliva, was forced out of Anvua’s mouth as he was knocked off of Joe’s body. Joe levitated the knife and shot it towards Anavua, stopping it just before the tip of the blade made contact with Anavua’s throat. Anavua was pinned against the far wall with the tip of the blade just short of his esophagus. Anavua would have been dead if Joe was not forced to stop by the sound of a loud metallic click and the feeling of a cold metal rod pressed against the back of his head.
“Hold it.” said a deathly calm voice behind Joe.
In the heat of battle, Joe had allowed his back to face the door. Held at the mercy of whoever had sneaked up behind him, Joe released his magic and the knife fell to the earth with a clatter. Joe was released from the weapon against his head as the pony that sneaked up behind him walked in front of him. It was the Pegasus from the airdock. Joe remembered him from when he and Anavua chased him in the cab. His coat was a dark charcoal grey and his mane and tail were as red as a freshly picked apple. A shooting star with fire for a tail adorned his flank and he wore a pair of thick sunglasses. He stood with both his wings flared out and attached to his right wing was a strange contraption. A thick, long metal barrel stuck out from the outer wing and was attached to a trigger mechanism on the inner wing. It was designed so that all he had to do was flap his wing in a certain way and the trigger would ignite the gunpowder in the barrel.
“Is that a Wing Cannon?” Joe asked in amazement, “Those are rather hard to come by. Normally you’d only find something like that in the NLR.”
“Nice shirt.” said the Pegasus in a deadpan tone, “Who’s your tailor?”
“Hoity Toity.” Joe responded.
“Yeah? Mine’s a pony in Luna City.” The Pegasus held out a golden badge emblazoned with the royal crest of Princess Luna. “Sky Blazer- Lunar Intelligence Agency.”
Sky Blazer finally cracked a smile and held out a hoof which Joe shook. “So we’re fighting the same war, huh?”
“This here is Anavua. He’s been helping me”
Anavua shook the mess out of his fur and walked over to the other ponies, stretching some of his more aching muscles.
“No hard feelings I hope.” Joe said as he shook the Zebra’s hoof.
“Just a sore hoof and that’s all. It has been a while since I had such a good brawl.”
“So you’re the famous Con Mane.” Sky remarked as he scanned Joe up and down. “And here I thought you were retired.”
“Yeah,” Joe said offhoofedly, “so did I.”
“Sorry for not approaching you earlier. When I saw you gallop off with the opposition I had to make sure. Now then, how about we grab some donuts and have a talk?”
The three new friends, with no more animosity between them, returned to the fruit shack which was just starting to become more lively with the oncoming twilight, and settled down in a booth that was tucked away in a quiet corner.
Twilight was nearing its end as the last vestiges of light were lost over the Ponibean horizon. The juice shack was packed full of both ponies and Zebras enjoying baked goods and blended cocktails. A rowdy, Zebra calypso band was on stage playing catchy energetic music and the dance floor was flank to flank with wild dancing. In a dimly lit corner of the exotic dance club, three ponies- a Unicorn, a Pegasus and a Zebra- were packed in tightly in a small booth. An assortment of delicious donuts were spread out in front of them. The loud music and screams of enjoyment drowned out whatever conversation they were having. Nopony was paying them any mind, and that is exactly what they wanted.
“The LIA traced the black magic to the waters surrounding Janeighca, but our Pegasus scouts can’t pinpoint the exact location.” Sky explained.
Joe picked up an apple fritter and offered it to Anavua. The zebra placed a hoof on his bulging stomach and shook his head. He then turned to Sky who merely waved a hoof. Joe happily scarfed down the treat and eyeballed the platter of baked goods in front of him, trying to decide on his next victim. “What about those freaky Bat-Ponies the NLR employs in their Lunar Guard?” Joe asked, “Don’t they have some kind of special eyes?”
“Yes.” Sky went on, “When Pegasi choose to become Bat-Ponies, they are given magical enhancements in their eyes to allow them to see not only in the dark, but other things that normal ponies can’t see as well. However, their enchantments are somehow being nullified when they fly above the Ponibean. Whoever we’re dealing with here apparently has knowledge of Lunar Magic.”
“And,” Joe added, “the fact that they knew about Strange Ways mean that they most likely have a way of patching into Equestrian Intelligence. My visit was also leaked. Somepony knew I was coming and sent that driver to pick me up.” Joe helped himself to another maple bar.
“You get any information out of him?” asked Sky.
“No. He chose to kill himself with a poisoned muffin. What about Strange Ways? Did he uncover anything before he disappeared?”
“He had me take him to the small islands that are around,” said Anavua, “but no signs of evil were to be found.”
“What islands did he investigate?” Joe asked.
“Just about every place. Sea Serpents Shore, Cockatrice Key and Unicorn’s Grace.”
“And you searched these places thoroughly?”
“All but on we did explore.” Anavua scanned the busy nightclub nervously and then leaned in towards Joe. “We did not stay long on Cockatrice Key’s shore.”
“Well why not?”
Anavua’s eyes widened and his lips trembled in fear. This was not the same Zebra that Joe wrestled with only a few hours ago. “Ain't no business being there.” he said, “For it is the home of a dra-”
FLASH! The blinding light caught the three whispering ponies off guard. As the dancing colors faded from Joe’s sight, he caught glimpse of a cool blue pony with a burnt orange mane trying to escape through the dancing crowd. An old fashioned camera was strapped around her neck.
“Sky we need to stop her.” Joe said frantically.
“Anavua, grab her!” Sky ordered.
In the blink of an eye, Anavua was already out from behind the booth and halfway across the dance floor. The photographer nearly made it to the exit when Anavua violently grabbed her hoof and pulled her back. The photographer yelped in shock.
“Hello, missus.” Anavua said with a fake smile, “Captain wants you to have a drink with us.”
The photographer struggled in vain as the superior strength of Anavua dragged her back to the booth. He shoved her behind the table and sat down beside her, trapping her in between Anavua and Joe.
“You black and white brute!” The photographer shrieked in anger.
“So trying to take my picture at the airdock wasn't enough for you, huh?” Joe said sternly.
“Well if you hadn't blocked the lens with your hoof!” she retorted
“Give me the camera.”
Without waiting for permission, Joe yanked the camera off of her neck, ripping the strap. Using his baking magic, Joe turned the inside of the delicate machine into an oven. the heat wreaked havoc on the wiring and before long, with a pop and a spark, smoke billowed out of the camera accompanied by the acrid smell of melted metal. Joe levitated the flaming metal back to the photographer who foolishly tried to pick it up only to immediately drop it on the table in front of her.
“There we go.” Joe smirked, “That’s much better. Now then… Who hired you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nopony hired me!” The photographer nursed her burned hoof but continued to glare at Joe. Joe admired her tenacity, but he was in no mood to play games.
“Oh really?” he said, “Anavua? Twist her leg.”
The photographer’s hoof was yanked away from her by Anavua. She struggled against him but he remained an immovable mountain. With ease, he twisted her entire hoof. The photographer screamed in pain as her bone and sinew grinded against the pressure. Tears ran from her eyes as she instinctively pounded on the table rapidly with her other hoof. Anavua continued to twist her leg, a disturbingly satisfied smile painted on his muzzle.
“Ow! Alright! Alright” The photographer caved in, “I work for… The… The Manehatten Orange!”
With a wave of a hoof from Joe, Anavua loosened his grip on her leg, but still held it firmly in his grasp. The photographer wiggled the hostage hoof slightly, hoping to negate the throbbing numbness.
“Blazer,” Joe ordered, “send a message to the Manehatten Orange. Ask if they sent a photographer here.”
“Wait!” the photographer suddenly jumped as Sky was just about to move, “The Orange didn't send me! I work freelance.”
“Oh, really?” Joe smiled and nodded in amusement, “for who?”
She responded only with another sour look. Joe nodded at Anavua and he continued his tortuous twisting.
“You’re hurting me!” She screamed in agony.
“Well tell us and I’ll make him stop.” Joe order.
The photographer squirmed and struggled manically in hopes of escaping her captors. In desperation she picked up the still smoldering remains of her camera and slammed it into the table, shattering the light bulb. With an animalistic growl, she thrust the shattered bulb into Anavua’s cheek. The large open gash on the side of his face painted his black and grey coat with moist crimson. Still the large beast of a pony smiled sadistically as he allowed the blood to flow into his mouth. It was a horrific sight, even for Joe, and even more so for the photographer. Joe was just glad that the gruesome act was lost upon the patrons that were all still happily dancing away to the calypso beat.
“Are you alright, Anavua!?” asked a concerned Sky Blazer.
“Captain,” Anavua said calmly as he applied several napkins to his wound. “she is feisty and high strung. I don’t think you’ll be able to loosen her tongue.”
Joe looked down at the half-dozen donuts that still remained on his plate. His appetite had betrayed him and was growing weary of the violence.
“Alright, let her go,” Joe said, “She’s already failed. I don’t think she’ll be anymore trouble.”
Anavua released her leg and the photographer quickly cuddled it towards her body like a valuable treasure. “You… you brutes!”
The traumatized photographer squealed as Anavua shifted his body and allowed her to exit the booth. She hurried to leave the nightclub, limping her injured hoof along. Ponies throughout the establishment continued to dance and drink in ignorance of the interrogation that had just occurred. The three ponies at the booth shared uneasy glances.
“One pony would rather have her leg broken then talk and another killed himself.” Sky Blazer contemplated, “Who could strike fear in such a way?”
“I dunno,” Joe answered, “but I’m eager to find out.” Joe turned towards Anavua. The Zebra had dropped his manic charade and was nursing the open wound on his muzzle with bloodied napkins. Rogue tears betrayed the pain he was really feeling. “What were you saying about Cockatrice Key?” Joe continued, “Why can’t we go there?”
“It’s a private island,” Blazer explained, “owned by some mining corporation. Nopony is allowed to land there so Strange Ways and Anavua snuck out at night."
“We did not stay for very long.” Anavua explained, “We grabbed some rock samples and then we were gone.”
“There’s nothing out there but a low quality gemstone mine.” Sky scoffed, “The entire facility is guarded to the teeth by Diamond Dogs and a magical motion sensor field.”
Anavua’s lips were once again quivering and shaking. He scanned the room in trepidation, looking for some invisible evil. “That is not all there be upon Cockatrice Key.” Anavua said in a harsh whisper, “For it is the home of a Dragon’s den. Ponies go there, but they ain't never come back again.”
“A Dragon!?” Joe exclaimed, “Rather abnormal climate for Dragons.”
“Local superstition,” Sky brushed it off, “There isn't any proof that an actual Dragon lives there. It’s probably a story to keep the fishermen away.”
“The Dragon’s no lie!” Anavua exclaimed with confidence, “It’s breath can be seen on nights with cloudy skies.”
Joe ran the possibility of a Dragon living on the Ponibean in his head. The last time Joe dealt with Dragons it didn’t end so well for him. Still something in Joe stirred. Determination and curiosity blended in his stomach into a cocktail of excitement. He found his appetite returning all of the sudden and he picked up an old fashioned from the platter.
“This Cockatrice Key is beginning to sound real interesting.” Joe mused, “What else do you know about it?”
“Only the name of the pony who owns it.” Sky said, “Doctor Ironhoof.”