//------------------------------//
// The Wizard of What? Pt. 1 
// Story: Discord's Diary 
// by 007Delta 
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I have found myself at a crossroads I never thought I'd revisit.  I have tried as best as I can to suppress my nature and act civilized... But something is wrong.  Not even in a humorous way, there is something inside me that is beginning to feel odd, like the smallest needle being pressed into my stomach.  As I eschew more and more from my chaotic nature, I find myself falling farther and farther into the subtle darkness, as if there is some unseen force swallowing me whole, stripping me of something I know is vital... Or maybe I'm so bored I've given myself stomach ulcers.

I was sitting in Apploosa, just outside one of the saloons they had there, when I was approached by quite the flamboyant looking stallion.

"Discord?" He said, giving me a genuinely curious, half-cocked smile.  "I couldn't help but notice ya all by yer lonesome... And well, I can't say I haven't heard about your recent misadventures in Equestria neither..."

"Oh?" I said, noticing the star badge he wore on his leather vest.

"I just want to make sure that you ain't plannin' on doing none of that funny business here,"

I looked up at him.  "No, I'm just finding myself in a drag is all,  just came out here to think,"

"Really?" he said, sounding almost like he was a little disappointed by my answer.

"Yes, I promise I won't lay a claw on the town,"

The sheriff gave me a sly smile.  "Ya know, the sheriff side of me is relieved by that.  But I have to say, I expected a little more exhuberance outta you,"

"Is that so?  Well I suppose you came here for something else than to just ask me not to destroy your town,"

"You suppose correctly," he said with a small grin, before pulling a book out from behind him. I don't think I need to tell you the name of the title.

"I was actually hoping that maybe this little town could get some adventure in it; it'd do a lot of these ol' salts good.  And well, I suppose if I'm gonna tell anyone this, it oughta be you... but I'm just about bored enough to get up and leave this place,"

"That makes two of us, sheriff,"

"Please, call me Braeburn"

There was a small silence, and I could feel as Braeburn stared at me with intent.

"Well I suppose if your not gonna liven the place up at all, could you sign my book?"

I was slightly taken aback by this.  After an intervention from royalty about my book being horrible and poisonous to the land, it felt nice to have a fan.  

"Sure," I said, taking hold of the tome in my hand.  I dipped the tip of my claw in the inkwell that was hovering near my head, and scribbled my name on the inside, before handing the book back to Braeburn.

"Ya know, I wish I lived a life like yours.  You can pretty much explore the world to your heart's content.  No worries about anything."  Braeburn tilted his head back, looking at the stars.  "Adventure after adventure.  You're a lucky soul, Discord."

I don't what it was about him, but I felt oddly inclined to reciprocate.  He came to me and sorta lifted me out of the dumps... I don't see any reason why I couldn't do the same.  So I hatched a little plan...

"You know what they say, Braeburn, there'e no place like home."

"Yeah, but I never get to leave home.  I just wish I could- Dear Celestia!"

In an instant, Braeburn was on his hooves.  His eyes had narrowed to fearful points, his gaze now fixated upon a whirling silhouette gainst the sunset.

"Is that a... Is that a tornado?!"

"It would appear so," I said nonchalantly.

Braeburn looked at me with an urgent face of distress.  "Discord, this ain't what I meant by adventure!  C'mon now, cut that out!"

It was too late though.  I had already disappeared out of harms way, far away from the path of that tornado

Braeburn pranced in place frantically, as the twister approached rapidly... Eventually, his hat blew from his head, and he fled inside the saloon.  He entered the building, only to find it completely empty.  They must've already ran to the cellar behind the bar.  Braeburn galloped and leapt clear over the counter, landing beside the wooden hatch that led beneath the building, only to find it locked from the inside.

"Let me in!" Braeburn screamed his voice barely audible over the hissing of violent wind.  He pounded his hooves against the door, but there was no response.  He continued to rap against the hatch, but was interrupted by the windows, as the glass exploded into the bar.  He looked outside, only to see the tornado barely half a mile away.  It would be here in less than a minute.

He panicked as his options ran out, fear overtaking his mind.  Rain began to shoots inside of the bar, the increasingly violent winds blasting the water through the broken widows, each droplet that pounded against his face feeling like a small blade slashing against his skin.

"Discord!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, his mind at a loss for anything else to do.  "You better stop this craziness right, now-oaaa-!!"

His thoughts were immediately interrupted by the foundation of the wooden building slightly raising, the structure now struggling to stay stuck to the ground outside.  The bottles of liquor began tipping from the behind the bar as table and chairs flew toward the front of the building.  Braeburn himself began scooting forward as well, unable to keep his purchase at the now steep floor.

He was headed directly for the door, and even though he scrambled to the move out of the way, his direction didn't change.  In an instant, his hooves flew from his body, just barely catching the frame of the door, keeping him from flying out of the building, which had now risen far from the ground.

He felt as the house spun with the hurdling winds of the twister, centripetal force causing him to slowly lose his purchase against the frame.

He was only inches away from losing his grip, when the building slammed into the ground, sending him hurtling into the floor, and out off the small wooden stairs.  The world was nothing but a twirling mess he couldn't make sense of, before landing amidst a large colorful courtyard, with a red and yellow spiral twirling out, before branching off into separate roads which led far beyond.  Braeburn wearily picked his head from the ground, catching sight of a large group of ponies, all staring at him with awe.

"The Stallion has killed the Malicious Mare of the East!" said one of the ponies.

"It is true indeed!  Look!  Around his neck!  He wears the wand of the mare herself!"

There were collective noises of wonder from around the crowd.

Braeburn struggled onto his hooves, looking amidst the ponies and noticed just how short they were.  The tallest stallion stood only to the top of his legs.  "What?  Where am I?"

"Why your in our humble village of Brumbyland, here in the beautiful fields of Uz!

Braeburn's eyes lit up with realization.

"Oh Damn that Discord!  I tell him I want some adventure and he throws me into a storybook.  Lemme guess, I gotta follow that there yellow brick road to the Emerald Stable so I can get out of here.  Oh, and I bet I got Ruby horseshoes and everything,"

Braeburn looked down, only to see his bare hooves.  "Wait, what?  I coulda sworn the book said ruby horseshoes..."

One of the small munchkin horses walked up to Braeburn, her eyes looking up meekly from behind her mane.  "Excuse me sir, but why would you get Ruby Horseshoes?  You already have her wand..."

Braeburn looked around his neck, only to find a pink tufted riding crop resting against his breast.

"Oh yeah, this is Discord's take on the story."

"Who has my sister's wand?!" came a booming voice from the sky.  Suddenly, all the little munchkins began cowering in fear, as the looked into the sky and saw a black cloud of smoke hurtling toward the ground.  It smacked into the center of the spiraled courtyard, before a navy blue spatial mane erupted from the smoke.

Braeburn couldn't help but take step back as the figure he knew as princess Luna emerged.

"Who killed my sister?" She said with a horrid cackle, looking about in a menacing manner.  "Was it you?" She said, casting her menacing eye on Braeburn.

"Me?  Oh nonono-"

"Why yes he did!  Landed it right on on top of her I might say.  Like a hammer hitting a nail, like a shovel filling a pail, like a scrawny man in jail!" said a voice behind him.

Braeburn looked around, only to notice Princess Cadence floating down in a bubble, before landing beside him.

"He did kill him, did he?"

"Listen, ah swear it was an accident!"

"Oh I can cause accidents too, pretty boy!"

Cadence stepped in front Braeburn, taking a defensive posture.  "You won't lay a hoof on him, if you know what's best; I know my way around that crop on his neck!"

Everyone looked oddly at Cadence, who stood her ground, before the Malicious Mare of the West took a step back.

"I suppose you do... But don't you worry, I'll get you somehow, pretty boy!  And your little-" scanned the ground in search of something, before she waved her hoof in a flippant gesture and flew off.  Everyone watched as the black trail of smoke disappeared beyond the horizon.

Braeburn stared off into the distance.  "Did Discord even read the book..."

There was a long pause as the cloud of small ponies and Cadence scanned the sky.  Finally, the pink Alicorn turned to him.

"So Mister Sheriff... Braeburn was it?  I take your not from here... No, far from it."

"No, Ah'm not... I'm from Apploosa, and I really want to get home..."

"Well it seems you've made quite the enema out of the Malicious Mare, the sooner you get out of Uz, the better you'll fare.

Braeburn couldn't help but blink.  "Uh, did you mean 'enemy'?"

"Why of course I did! that's what I said.  If you mince words longer she'll have your head!"

"Uh," Braeburn stammered out.  "So I'm supposed to follow the yellow brick road now, huh?  I gotta go see the wizard?"

"Yes, he resides in the Emerald Stable, how did you know?  It seemed like you already know just where to go,"

"Yeah... Ah guess you could say Ah have a little foresight,"

There was another pause between them.

"Uh, miss Cadence?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you speaking in rhyme?"

"If you don't rhyme, you're going to have a bad time,"

Braeburn scrunched his face a bit, before Cadenced waved the thought away with her hoof.

"You know what I'll say, you know what to do.  May the odds be ever in your favor, and the horse be with you."

Braeburn took a look at the winding yellow road that spanned into the hills beyond.

It was time to follow the yellow brick road.