Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens, or the mystery thickens, or... whatever you want to call it, it's getting more strange by the second.
When the five reached the top of the stairs, they reached another large open room. Sitting at the other end was another pony, an alicorn to be precise. She seemed to be almost double the height of Bobobo, right now, she was facing away from our heroes. She slowly stood on all fours, still facing the opposite direction.
"So, your finally here, Bobobo," she said in an oddly familiar voice, causing Twilight to tilt her head and raise an eyebrow in confusion. As she finally turned around to face them, Twilight's eyes widened.
"Co-Colgate?!" She asked, stepping forward. It was indeed Colgate, cutie mark and all. Colgate just looked at her with no emotion. "Colgate... it's me, Twilight, don't you recognize me?" She tried to get through to Colgate, however, the mare just squinted her eyes at the purple alicorn.
"All I recognize you as, is a threat to the Soul Hunters!" Colgate yelled out, getting into a battle position. "Super Fist of Dentistry: Hurtful Tooth Paste!" She announced, a stream of blue tooth paste shooting out from her horn.
"Watch out!" Bobobo yelled, getting infront of Twilight, blocking the attack with Don Patch. The sun thing screamed out in pain as the paste made contact with him, once the attack was over, Bobobo threw him to the side, where he made a dent in the wall.
'Why is she doing this?' Twilight question. 'Why is she working for the Soul Hunters, how is she an alicorn, how does she have a supper fist?' the questions continued to brew up in her mind. Meanwhile, Bobobo and his two idiots were make their way towards Colgate.
"Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo, now in HD TV!" The human shouted, pulling a television out of nowhere and smacking Colgate with the flat screen. Her eyes bulged out of her head as she screamed out in pain. She landed hard on the ground, landing on her wing.
"Now, for the Super Fist of the Wobble Wobble: Jiggler Punch!" Jelly Jiggler announced, punching Colgate in the face. However, being made of jelly, nothing happened. Jelly sweat dropped as Colgate looked at him with an unamused look. She rose up to her full height, looking down at Jelly Jiggler with pure hatred. Jelly just stood there, looking up at the blue alicorn, blinking every now and then. Don Patch suddenly appeared, kicking Jelly into Colgate.
"I got ya!"' Don patch said as Jelly Jiggler and Colgate screamed out in pain.
"That's it!" Colgate yelled, landing on her hooves. "Super Fist of Dentistry: Time for Your Check up!" She announced. Dentist chairs (or whatever you call them) appeared behind our three heroes as mechanical arms pulled them in and held them in place.
"Bobobo!" Beauty called out.
"With these chairs, I'll pull all your teeth out, putting you in agony. I'll start with the annoying one, Jelly Jiggler!" She said. Jelly's eyes widened when he heard he was first.
"Why am I always first?!" Jelly cried out, tears rolling down his face as Colgate appeared beside him, tools at the ready. She was about to take his teeth out, before she thought of something else.
"Actually, just take this." She said, spraying Jelly with more toothpaste. He screamed out in pain as the toothpaste burned him. She moved on to Don Patch. She grabbed ahold of all his teeth with her magic, with one hard yank, all of them where gone. Don Patch then appeared with a gray mustache and eyebrows, and was wrinkled.
"He turned into an old man!" Bueaty and Twilight both shouted.
"You rotten kids and your fancy new technology, picking on the elderly like we're some stupid animals!" He yelled out, waving a cane around. "When I was a kid, we didn't have this fancy magic and technology, we had cards, cards and fireplaces!"
'Where is he even going with this?' Colgate questioned, she shook her head as she moved on to Bobobo. "Now it's your turn!" She said, grabbing onto a tooth and started pulling. Bobobo screamed out in pain as she continued pulling. Once the tooth was out, Colgate looked at it in her magic, only to see it wasn't a tooth anymore, it was some sort of pin. "Huh?" She asked, looking back at Bobobo, only to now see that the human was gone, and laying in his place was a grenade. She then realized that she pulled the pin of the grenade. "Wait, wha-" she was unable to finish her question when the grenade exploded, sending her back. With a grunt, she landed painfully on her back. Before she could recover, Bobobo was already over her.
"Now for the Super Fist of Dentistry!" he announced.
"Hey, that's my-" Colgate was unable to finish what she was about to say as Bobobo performed his attack.
"Say ah!" Bobobo said, squeezing hot mustard into her open mouth. Her eyes widened as the food (or whatever you classify it as) sank into her mouth. Once Bobobo was out, Colgate shut her mouth and made the stupid mistake of swallowing it. Sweat started forming on her face.
"Now it's our turn!" Don and Jelly yelled out, pushing Bobobo out of the way, holding their own spicy toppings. However, Colgate screamed out in pain, fire blazing out of her mouth, cooking the two idiots to a crisp. Once the fire died down, Jelly Jiggler and Don Patch were seen, pitch black from the fire, they both groaned as they fell backwards. Colgate started to push herself back up to her hooves, coughing from the mustard. With teary eyes, she glared at the human, who was just standing there all nonchalant, casually picking his nose.
"How... do you live being this crazy?" She asked.
"I just do," Bobobo answered, taking his finger out of his nose. "Do you know why? Because it's fun!" He said, sprinting towards Colgate, who gritted her teeth.
"Super Fist of Dentistry: Extremely Sharp Toothbrushes!" Colagate announced, giant toothbrushes forming in her magic. She then launched them towards the human. However, Bobobo simply grabbed them, confusing Colgate. "Wait, their suppose to hurt you if you touch them, how are you doing that?!" Bobobo didn't answer though, as he simply swung them around, hitting her with the giant toothbrushes. "They aren't sharp at all, their blunt!" She yelled out in pain. Twilight and Beauty just looked at her with deadpanned looks.
"Their toothbrushes," they simply stated.
"Now, for the annoyance ball!" Bobobo yelled, throwing Don Patch towards Colgate. He latched onto the alicorn, standing on her back.
"Hey, get off!" She yelled.
"Nope." He simply stated, giving her a kiss. She screamed out as Don's lips touched her cheek.
"You little creep!" She exclaimed, trying to shake Don Patch off her back, but no matter how hard she tried, the sun ball wouldn't fall off. She decided to take to the air instead, doing flips and rolls, but it was all in vain, as Don Patch still stayed on, riding her like a surfboard. After a couple more seconds of trying, she finally gave up, landing back on the ground.
"Okay, what do I have to do to get you off?"
"Nothing."
"What if I give you candy or something?"
"Nope."
"A ticket to a movie concert?"
"No."
"Okay, what about a-"
"Enough!" Bobobo yelled out, riding in Jelly, who had somehow turned into a tank. He fired a shell at the two, resulting in a large explosion. The two screamed out in pain, their eyes bulging out of their faces as they flew back. Once Colagate landed, she pushed herself back up, growling a little, only to realize she still had a passenger.
"How are you still holding on?!" She questioned, looking over her shoulder at Don Patch, only to notice that there was now a small grill on her back that was lit. Her eyes widened as she tried desperately to shake it off.
"Hey, stop moving so much, you'll mess up the bacon," Don almost casually stated, wearing sunglasses and having a mustache.
"No one wants bacon!" Bobobo said, as he started smacking Don Patch and Colgate with a rolled up newspaper, which, surprisingly put them both in a lot of pain, as they screamed out with each hit. Once Don fell off of Colgate, Bobobo picked him up and threw him through the wall. Colgate quickly got up, about to attack Bobobo, but the human was too quick, and started to smother her with Jelly Jiggler's body, who seemed to be very bored at the moment, the situation not seeming to faze him in the slightest.
"Eat up!" Bobobo yelled, continuing to shove Jelly Jiggler in Colgate's face.
"Bobobo, can you kindly stop using me as a weapon?" Jelly asked. Bobobo stopped his assault as he grabbed Jelly by the legs.
"Not going to happen!" The man yelled out, slamming Jelly Jiggler on the floor. Jelly screamed out in pain each time his body made contact with the floor.
"That's it, the Super Fist of Dentistry: Time to Drill Those Teeth Out!" Colgate announced, giant drills appearing above the two. Bobobo and Jelly looked at the drills with wide eyes. As they came down, Bobobo put Jelly Jiggler over himself, protecting himself from the attack.
"What a painful attack!" Bobobo said.
"How could you say that, you aren't even getting hurt!" Jelly cried out, the drills tearing away at his body. Colgate was looking down at the floor, trying to regain her breath. Once she was good, she looked back at Bobobo and Jelly.
"Look at what you did to Bobobo!" Jelly yelled out angrily. Behind him, Bobobo was in a full body cast, in a wheel chair.
"Whaaa?!" Colgate, Beauty and Twilight all questioned.
"Do you know how expensive the hospital bill is?! This is coming out of your money!" He said, lifting Bobobo up and chucking him towards Colgate. "You take care of him!" He yelled out. The blue alicorn screamed out in pain as the bandaged human collided with her.
"Yeah, your paying for the bill!" Bobobo yelled out, bursting through the cast and punching Colgate.
"You two are not making any sense!" Colgate yelled out in pain. The wall suddenly began cracking, then, Don Patch burst in with bird wings and a beak, being followed by all different types of birds.
"I'm back!" He announced. The birds started to fly through the building, smacking and hitting Colgate, Bobobo, and Jelly Jiggler, in fact, some were even biting him.
"Hey, I'm not bird food!" Jelly cried out.
"Enough!" Colgate yelled out in the Royal Canterlot Voice, causing all the birds to flee. "I am done with your-"
"Stop being so loud! Jerk!" Don Patch yelled through a megaphone, right into Colgate's ear. Her eyes widened as her ear ringed out in pain.
"You know, we're done too with this battle, so it's about time to finish it. Time for a little Bobobo Fusion!" Bobobo announced, his afro opening up like a hatch. Both Jelly Jiggler and Don Patch jumped in it as it closed.
"Is that thing bottomless?!" Twilight questioned. Bobobo began to glow as he yelled out into the air, wind blowing all around them. Colgate put a wing up in front of herself to block the winds.
"A fusion? But how?!" Colgate questioned as the light grew brighter. When it finally died down, a human stood in the place of where Bobobo was a few seconds ago. He had purple spiky hair standing upright, and wore a blue cabe that hard huge shoulder guards, under the shoulder guards were smaller red ones. He also wore golden body armor and gloves.
"The fusion is complete," the human stated, his voice raising and lowering in pitch.
"Who-who are you?" Colgate asked.
"My name is Bobopatchiggler, and I can only remain in this human form for one minute,' Bobopatchiggler stated.
'A fusion... I had no idea Bobobo was capable of it,' Twilight thought, amazed at Bobopatchiggler's appearance.
"So... your the result of the three huh?" Colgate asked.
"You are correct little pony," Bobopatchiggler responded.
'Little? I'm almost twice your height,' Colgate thought.
"But enough, talking, it's time to start the battle. And I'll defeat you with my trusty sword." He said, grabbing the hilt of his sword. Colgate's eye's widened. In a swift motion, Bobopatchiggler pulled out his sword, giving a shock to Twilight and Colgate.
"That is not a sword, that looks like something you pulled out of the toy shop!" Twilight yelled. At the end of his sword was the head of a human male, it wasn't stuck on, it was part of the sword. Colgate just looked at it in confusion, before a grin slowly crept onto her face, which then turned into a full on smile. She let out a small chuckle, before she was bent down laughing her head off. The two girls just looked at her as if she had lost it, while Bobopatchiggler just stared at her, his expression never changing, still as serious as ever. After a moment, Colgate was finally through laughing, she stood back up and wiped some tears out of her eyes with a hoof.
"Oh, and to think that I was actually worried for a second," she stated, "You're a joke. Do you honestly think you can defeat with with such a stupid weapon as that? Heck, before this fusion, you were doing so much better-" before she could continue her string of insults, Bobopatchiggler had quickly moved in and swing his weapon, nailing Colgate in the wing, the force of the blow sending her flying into the wall.
"Sweet Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed. Colgate groaned in pain as she removed herself from the wall, catching herself before she fell onto the ground.
"That was power of the Happy Man Merciless Sword," Bobopatchiggler stated, looking Colgate in the eye.
"Okay, maybe that sword of yours isn't a joke, but you're going to have to do much more if you plan on defeating me," Colagte stated, standing upright.
"I am aware of that," Bobopatchiggler stated, moving quickly towards her. "Now for the Brand of the Happy Man!" He stated, swiping at Colgate again, striking her back, leaving an imprint of the head on her back. In another swift movement, he was in front of Colgate, "Now for the front! Brand of the Happy Man!" He stated, hitting Colgate in the chest, leaving another mark.
'Unbelievable. Bobopatchiggler is truly a fierce fighter,' Twilight thought.
"It doesn't matter if a weapon looks ridiculous, as long as you know how to use it, it can become a lethal weapon," Bobopatchiggler stated, facing away from Colgate, who was picking herself up from his assault.
"That doesn't matter," she said under her breath, "That won't be enough to stop me from kicking your butt!" She yelled, heading for the human.
"True, not alone at least. That's why it's time for this," He stated, turning towards Colgate, "Ma. Ji. De," he said, making jesters with his hands, "It's Majide time!" he announced as the world around the two shifted from a castle into a space scenery. Colgate stopped her charge as she took into account where she now was.
"What? Where is this?" Colgate questioned, looking around, spotting Bobopatchiggler floating by.
"You are in Majide. A place that reacts to you saying 'ARE YOU SERIOUS?!'. It is the most lethal attack that exists!" Bobopatchiggler stated.
"Are you serious?!" Colgate questioned, her eyes bulging out of her head.
"Don't ask me if I'm serious!" the human stated, bringing his sword up and smacking Colgate across the face with it.
"Are you serious?!" she questioned once more. Beneath the two, there were gold sparkles popping.
"Do you see that?" he asked, pointing to the sparkles. "It has detected your reaction."
"Seriously?" Colgate asked, looking back up at Bobopatchiggler.
"Be prepared. It's time for the Majide meteor shower!" he said, as giant Japanese words started flying by the two.
"Are you serious?! Meteor shower, these more look like Japanese Characters!" Colgate yelled out, as she was struck from the side by one, then another struck her in the front, pushing her back.
"Saying 'are you serious' can have serious consequences," Bobopatchigler stated, before being struck from behind, being carried along by the meteor. His eyes bulged out of his head as he let out a pained gasp.
"Are you serious?!" Colgate questioned, watching as Bobopatchiggler was struck by his own attack. Suddenly, everything abruptly stopped, with the meteors vanishing into small sparkles. Colgate looked down at where the meteor had just been moments ago. "They're... gone?" She asked. Bobopatchiggler was floating overhead.
"That is because you are now ready for true Majide," He said. Colgate just looked at him with hate.
"You can't expect me to just believe that!" She yelled, flying towards the human. He simply turned away from her, lifting his hand up.
"Suit yourself. Majide Influence!" He announced, white electricity shooting out from his hand and striking Colgate.
"Wait, what is that even?!" She asked through pain. Bobopatchiggler's attack ended as he faced the alicorn once more.
"Now Majide truly surrounds you. Random events will now occur to force you to say 'are you serious'. No power in this world can stop it," he calmly stated. Colgate just looked at him with confusion before hearing a voice from behind.
"Dearie," Colgate eyes widened as she turned around, facing an old mare.
"Are you serious?! Mom?!" She questioned.
"Are thought you would be hungry, so I brought you some snacks," Colgate's mom said, pulling out a box.
"Are you serious?! Chocolate covered crickets?!" A shadow then loomed over Colgate. Looking behind herself, she saw a giant robot.
"Oh look, it's your uncle," Her mom said.
"Are you serious?! My uncle is not a robot!" Colgate yelled out. Just then, the robot grabbed her and performed a german suplex on her. "Seriously?!" She yelled out in pain. Suddenly, a blue phone booth appeared out of nowhere. The door to it opened, revealing a man in a suit and bow tie. "Gah! Are you serious?! It's a humanized Dr. Whooves!"
"I'm here to cleanse the world of it's evil!" He stated, bringing out some weird tool.
"You can't be serious! He doesn't talk like that!"
"It's now time!" Bobopatchiggler suddenly yelled out, getting Colgate's attention.
"Time for what?" She asked. Suddenly, a gigantic ship appeared behind Bobopatchiggler.
"It's time to exact revenge," he stated.
"Are you serious?!" She asked. Just then, she and Bobopatchiggler both appeared inside the ship, the human driving. "Wait, who are we getting revenge on?"
"The space store! For not having my favorite brand of chocolate covered crickets!"
"Seriously?!" In front of them was a small corner store, floating out in space.
"Activate the doom beam!" Bobopatchiggler yelled out. The front of the ship started glowing, before letting out a colossal beam, headed straight for the store.
"Can't we just send them a nasty letter instead?!" Colgate questioned. The attack was so devastating that the store was no longer a store, but instead, it became a firework.
"Are you serious?! Why is that firework in the shape of me?!" After a few moments, the side of the ship opened up, revealing Colgate riding a bike, which was generating power for the ship. "Wait, seriously?! How did I get here?!"
"I think the time has come for your defeat," Bobopatchiggler stated, both of them appearing out of the ship as it flew off into space.
"Are you... s-serious?" Colgate asked.
"Of course, I've been nothing but serious. But time is short, as I only have five seconds left in this form."
"Seriously?! That was a long minute!"
"So, are you ready?" Bobopatchiggler asked, appearing on a bike with a basket.
"Seriously?! You're going to defeat me on a bike?!"
"Enough talk, here I come," he stated, making his way towards Colgate, ringing the bell of the bike. Sweat started forming on Colgate's head as Bobopatchiggler neared her. "Super Fist of the Eyelash!" He yelled out, his eyelashes stretching out and heading towards Colgate. As he rode by, the eyelashes struck Colgate, sending her into the air, as she screamed out in pain.
'Are... you... serious?' Colgate questioned, as the world around them suddenly changed back into the castle.
"Look, Colgate's out cold!" Beauty stated. The blue alicorn landed hard on her head, then rolled onto her back, passed out. Bobopatchiggler landed as well, getting of the bike and facing Beauty and Twilight. Suddenly, Colgate was covered in a white light, Twilight's eyes widened as she ran past Bobopatchiggler towards Colgate, just as the human was covered in a rainbow light, changing back into Bobobo, Don Patch, and Jelly Jiggler. As Twilight reached Colgate, her form suddenly shrunk down, her horn shrinking down to normal size and her wings disappearing. When the light died down, Colgate was on the floor back to normal.
She groaned and stirred as her eyes slowly opened.
"P-Princess Twilight?" She asked, slowly getting back up. She rubbed her head as she looked around, her eyes then landed back onto Twilight. "Princess, I'm sorry, I didn't want to-" she apologized, before Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder.
"It's alright Colgate, I know you wouldn't do something like this. But, do you know how you became an alicorn?" Twilight asked.
"No... I don't. Sorry." Colgate said.
"It's alright, but right now, you need to get back to Ponyville. Do you know how to get back from here?" Colgate looked at her and nodded her head. As Colgate left, Twilight and the rest of the gang made their way up the stairs to the final floor of the castle. Ready for anything."