The Three Sisters: Like Fudge

by Wanderer D

This Shouldn’t Be Happening Right Now

Shining Armor frowned as he read the report he had picked up. It seemed the wolf clans further north insisted on crossing the borders of the Crystal Empire, claiming that it was their own now, and that the ponies of the Empire had no claim after a thousand-year absence.

Except that, while the Empire had disappeared, the borders had remained the same and it had been impossible for anypony—or wolf, for that matter—to cross them. This required immediate attention, as ignoring them would be a definitive sign of weakness… in the wolves’ eyes.

Not that they could actually win an all-out fight against the ponies, but it would definitely be inconvenient.

Shining Armor massaged his forehead. “Sombra really made a long-lasting mess,” he muttered. Shaking his head, he looked up. “Emerald Dawn!”

The door to his office opened and a green-tinted female crystal pony looked in. “Yes, your highness?”

“Where’s Flash Sentry? He made friends with that Wolf merchant not to long ago, something about him wanting to be a lone-wolf with a guitar... I think I can use him for something important.”

Emerald Dawn blinked. “Um, he hasn’t returned from the last mission your highness requested of him.”

Shining Armor’s face went blank. “What mission?”

“Sir, I am pleased to inform that the Bakers Guild is at your full disposal and are eagerly baking the large order Sir requested, and putting everything else on hold, as directed.”

“Radical!” Shining Armor exclaimed, as they walked down the halls of the Crystal Castle. “This will be such a totally awesome event! I can’t wait!”

“Indeed, Sir.”

“Why, I—” Shining Armor stopped speaking when he, along with his obsequious friend, were surrounded by a light-blue magical aura and dragged into a side room, with the door slamming shut and barred behind them. “Whoa, totally uncalled for!”

“What. Have. You. Done.” Shining Armor asked in a slow and very controlled tone of voice.

“Chill bro,” Shining Armor replied, cheerfully raising his hoof to salute. “I totally did what was requested!”

“Quite right, Sir.”

“You, Mercury Cut,” Shining Armor pointed his arm at the obsequious pony, “Shut up. And you,” he turned to look at Shining Armor. “You had one job, Green Darner. One job: To make sure that whatever place we settled Princess Acari in, would be at least adequate for a Changeling Princess.”

“I totally did!” Shining Armor said, bursting into green flames and revealing a changeling with green, gossamer wings and green-blue eyes. “She’ll be totally comfortable in the rooms across from yours and her Empress Cadance.”

Shining gritted his teeth. “You realize that Cadance will not appreciate having Acari stay just across from our rooms when her mother had her trapped in the crystal caverns for weeks, right?”

“It’s totally cool,” Green Darner assured him. “Princess Acari will not mind.”

“Prin—” Shining Armor sputtered. “She… okay, that can be spun into something Cadance can tolerate. I think. I’ll have to do some talking… but I have another question, where is Flash Sentry?”

“Oh, I have no idea,” Green Darner replied, shrugging. “Probably still in the Balrog Kingdom’s Torture Chambers.”

Shining Armor remained still, having closed his eyes instinctively when Green Darner’s words had emerged. He took a deep, calming breath.

Princess Cadance was walking down the hall when the shouting had began from one of the rooms, reverberating through the whole structure of the castle. Whoever was causing such a ruckus was really, really angry.

She knocked on the door where the noise was coming from, and was promptly ignored. So she knocked again, harder. The shouts within continued, although now that she was really close to the origin, she could make out the sound of the angry voice.

“Shiny?” she called loudly, knocking on the door. “Open the door! What’s going on in there?”

When she was ignored yet again, she growled and lit up her horn, using her magic to slam the door open, barely registering a slight green flash of light from within.

“Shining!” She gasped, when she found her husband choking a pegasus pony guard. “Let that guard go!”

Shining cringed, turning to look at her with panicked eyes and letting his victim fall to the floor. “H-honey!” He smiled. “What brings you in? T-today?”

“You were shouting.” Princess Cadance stepped into the room, looking around and nodding at Mercury Cut before turning to look at her husband. “What is going on?”

“Um… training.”

Cadance frowned. “Do you usually train your guards by choking them to death?”

Shining cringed once more. “No. Sorry, honey, I was just trying to drive a point through.”

“Oh, and what point would that be?”

When Shining Armor didn't immediately respond, she turned to look at Mercury Cut. “What point would that be, Mercury?”

“I believe Sir would be referencing the invitation Captain Green Darner extended to the Balrog Kingdom to come over for a party with the full authority of Emperor Armor. Which of course, the Balrog King accepted.”

“YOU WHAT?!” Shining Armor shouted.

“HE WHAT?!” Cadance shouted, turning to look at her husband with barely constrained fury. “The Deer delegation is arriving in a couple of days!”

“You sent Flash Sentry to their torture chambers?!” Shining Armor asked, incredulously. “Just so you could invite them to party!? Here?!”

Shining Armor and Cadance both raised their hooves to the air. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

“Chill, dudes!” Green Darner said, grinning. “The Balrogs are like, totally awesome dudes.”

“Legends describe them as demons made of fire and ash!” Shining Armor stated.

“They fed ponies to the Windigos!” Cadance added.

“They partied like animals, drank a lot and practiced sport with the aid of the slaves, back in Sombra’s day,” Mercury added helpfully.

“They were at war with the Deer for a thousand years or more!”

“You sent a pony to their torture chambers!”

Flash Sentry sipped some tea, sinking back into the sofa and admiring the art on the walls of the room where he had been taken to… suffer.

The soft, instrumental music provided a soothing background effect that made him feel all relaxed.

He leaned forward to pick up the daily news from Equestria. “Huh, I was totally not expecting this,” he muttered, glancing around before settling back and beginning to read. “I guess the word ‘suffer’ has a different meaning to these guys.”

“I want my soldier back!” Shining Armor barked. “And in one piece!”

“We can’t receive the Balrogs on the same week that the Deer are coming! You have to stop them!”

“If madam would permit,” Mercury Cut cut in, “I would be remiss to not point out that the Balrog Kingdom will not take a cancelled invitation on behalf of the Deer as a good sign, and might take severe offense at this act.”

Cadance growled and glared at her husband, before taking a deep breath, bringing her hoof to the chest and extending it as she released the air slowly. Nodding to herself, she glanced at Shining Armor. “Shining.”

Shining Armor cringed. “Yes, dear?”

“You will make this work, somehow, am I clear?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Good.” Cadance turned around and headed out the room. “Now, I am off to my chambers to sink my face in a pillow and rage for the next hour.” She raised an eyebrow. “If you three value your health, you will not interrupt me.”

“Yes, your highness.” Mercury Cut bowed.

“Absolutely!” Green Darner nodded, bowing soon after.

“Y-yes, honey.” Shining Armor stammered.

They waited in silence as she left, and Shining Armor could only begin to wonder how to make the best of the situation and fix everything.

“Dude,” Green Darner shook his head. “You really made her angry.”

Shining Armor took another, calming, deep breath… cast a silencing spell around the room and shut the door.