I cannot understand this… How… Where did we go wrong? I thought that allowing James to go with his friends to search for the Elements of Harmony would help insure their retrieval and the safety of the bearers. But now… Both he and Discord are dead… Rather than help ensure victory, we only assured defeat by sending him with them. Yet another blemish to add to my long list of failures…
“Sister… Celestia, did you hear me?” I heard my sister speak to me. Precious Luna gazed at me while I sulked upon the throne. I lifted my head to gaze at her. She was trying to maintain her stern composure, but I could see it in her eyes. Utter devastation. Oh, Luna, forgive me… I know you and he were close as friends. The first to ever openly praise you for creating such a beautiful night. And now he has been robbed from you forever.
“I… Forgive me, what did you say?” I asked quietly, my gaze directed towards my sister. My mind was adrift with so many emotions. I could scarcely focus.
Luna paused before she spoke. Perhaps she too could see my own bedlam in my eyes. “I sent word to the guards as you requested. Discord’s remains will be gathered and cremated immediately. It should insure he will not return.”
Discord… I felt my heart weep at knowing of his demise. I was a fool to expect otherwise. This day would have likely come at some point. He was beyond salvation. “Good… And the armor and weapons?”
“The Celestial Sword and Lunar Shield are being washed of the blood and mud they accumulated alongside the Elements of Harmony. The armor is being retrieved from the hospital as we speak.” She spoke briefly and bluntly, as if trying to mask her underlying feelings.
“Luna… There is nopony around. You are free to allow your true feelings to flow.” I spoke softly to her, trying to coax her into releasing her emotional restraints. It would be best if she did not hold it in.
And release them she did. Mere seconds later, the tears flowed once more as she leaned against me while my wing tenderly draped itself over her. “This is not fair, Celestia… Why did it have to be this way…? Why did he have to leave us?”
“I wish I could answer that question, Luna. I truly do… But you knew Discord as well as I did, sister. You saw his descent into madness to escape the agony in his own heart. Seeing others in the same pain he was in must have likely…brought him some level of catharsis. He was mad, Luna. Mad with centuries of grief…” The memories that came flooding back to me as I spoke… Memories of centuries past. I thought for certain I could find a way to remedy his suffering. I was a fool to think I could undo centuries of madness. And it took the death of a friend to make me realize that…
Our thoughts were interrupted as the door to the throne room opened. Walking towards us with a heavy wooden chest floating before him with levitation was Estoc, second-in-command to the royal guard. “I hope I am not intruding, your highnesses. The armor your requested is inside. However, I am sorry to say I did not find a helmet with it. The hospital staff claims that it was not present with the set.”
The helmet was gone… And the Element of Humanity with it. When the bearer dies, the Element and its vessel that are bound to him or her fade as well. I knew then for certain that our friend was truly no more. “I see… Thank you, Estoc. You are dismissed.”
Once we were alone again, Luna and I approached the chest resting in the middle of the chamber. I could only imagine the armor’s condition. Together, we opened the lid. And… By my mother’s great sun. The left greave and loin guard was stained a dark red, as was the left gauntlet. Specks of dark red were splattered here and there. The agony James must have endured… And the hell he must have forced Discord through. Some of that blood was undoubtedly not from James. And the right gauntlet… Mangled and twisted from intense heat. Filled with pain yet he likely still fought on. What sort of nihilistic madness had taken root in his mind during his final minutes? If only we had been there… If only we had not been blind to what was happening out there. What had prevented us from witnessing it? Why did the courtyard seem completely fine the entire time? Why did we not hear any of the chaos that was occurring? Was it your doing, Discord?
“So much blood… To think that he died in this armor…” Luna whispered, her voice once more beginning to break. To see the bloodstained attire her friend had been clad in… I too was on the verge of tears as images of what could have transpired out there flashed through my mind.
“It is for the best we do not know. But we cannot return the armor to its resting place while it remains in this condition. It must be cleaned first.” I replied while staying near my sister. Almost as if to answer my claim, the doors once again swung open. One of the castle’s maids stepped in with a familiar jeweled box floating beside her, grasped in her levitation spell.
She promptly bowed before us before speaking softly in respect of the situation. “The Elements of Harmony have been cleansed and are within their container, your highness. Can I be of any further assistance?”
I did my best to show a faint smile as I used my magic to take hold of the box. “Yes, you may take this container and wash its contents. Please return them to us once they are presentable.”
“It will be done, my lady.” She spoke with a bow before lifting the chest with her magic and departing. Once again, I was alone with my sister.
I looked at the box that contained the Elements of Harmony. A lift of the lid revealed that all six were indeed inside and cleansed of the blood of the fallen Spirit of Chaos. It was time to return them to their resting place. “I will be back, Luna. And please… I wish to do this alone.”
“I understand. I will be here.” She said with a nod. I am certain she could understand why I was requesting temporary solitude. I departed from the throne room and made my way through the palace towards the Hall of the Elements.
So many memories always come to me when I walk along that grand hall. So many reminders embedded within the windows that stand tall upon the walls. I felt so utterly alone as I approached the sealed chamber at the very end. With a single thrust of my horn and the cast of a familiar spell, the chamber’s doors opened before I placed the box containing the Elements within. And with one more spell, it closed again, never again to be tampered with by Discord or anyone else.
Before I could leave, there was one more thing I had to do. The reason I had requested to be left alone. I turned my gaze to the window depicting myself and Luna surrounding the fallen Spirit of Chaos, his body a pale gray as he was encased in stone. I could feel tears building within my eyes. Tears of anguish, bitterness, anger, so many emotions that I could not even begin to count.
“Why, Discord… Why did it have to end like this?” I spoke loudly, not caring who may hear or see me. Centuries of questions, doubt, and hope spilling out all at once. “Why did you have to end it like this, you fool?! How could you even sink this low?! You tampered with reality, with the emotions of your people, with their minds, but… How could you dare tamper with the heart?!”
The tears flowed like rivers. I felt so hurt, yet so furious. Not just at Discord, but at myself as well. “All I ever wanted was to have the old you back. I wanted things to be the way they always were. With you watching over and guiding our people with Luna and myself by your side. I was a fool to think that there was any hope once that hole in your heart became too vast for the two of us to fill… I clung to the hope that perhaps there was a way to heal you… To restore your shattered heart. How blind I was… I could not accept losing the best friend I ever had… If only I had accepted that you were beyond saving, then perhaps…”
So much wrath. So much remorse. It had been eons since one’s passing had harmed me so deeply. “Was this all intentional? Was this your last desperate attempt to free yourself? To be reunited with all that you lost? Well… If that was the case, then congratulations, huh? You’re finally free now. Wherever it is you are now, I hope you’re happy! Never again will you torment this world or its people!”
The anger was fading. All I could feel was sorrow. “You… Discord… Forgive me… This all could have been avoided if I just allowed you to die… I know there was still goodness in your heart, buried amongst the pain and madness… I should have set you free from the start… Luna was right… You were trapped. And now…you are free. Farewell…old friend… Please… If you can still hear me… Please tell all who are with you that…Celestia is sorry for keeping you away from them for so long. And please… Tell James, if you see him… Tell him that…he will be missed sorely…”
How many tears fell to the floor below before I stopped speaking… There was one last thing I had to do. So many words that had never been spoken. I proceeded further back down the hall and stood before the newest addition to the pantheon of depictions of grand events in Equestria’s history. The window that depicted the night of my sister’s salvation. Nightmare Moon soaring high above a winged human in dark blue armor.
I gathered my fortitude. There was much I had to say. “I should have said all this before. And I pray you can still hear me…” I took a long deep breath before turning my gaze to the visage of the fallen bearer of the Element of Humanity. “I have watched you since the very day you first set foot in Equestria. I saw how lost and uneasy you were. I watched as you quickly opened your heart to those who sought to welcome you. And I watched as you became close friends with my sister at our first meeting. For so long, I watched you from afar. And yet…after all that time…it feels as if I only just recently started to get to know you.”
Once more, I could feel the tears building. My vision became blurred. But I could still see him. Soaring above me as the sun shone through his glass body. “You truly were… It felt as if I was seeing a glimmer of Equestria’s greatest days through you. I have never met a man as genuinely tender… As considerate as you since before that era ended. I was often curious of how you gained so many friends despite being a human and not a fellow pony. And after nearly a full year, I took the opportunity to meet with you in person. And I began to see it. Your calm open mind. You thought so deeply. You felt more than most. It allowed you to reach out and be reached out to more easily. It was so easy to become close to you. Whenever I spoke, you always listened.”
The memories of this past year. They came flooding back. “I still remember our first meeting. I could see how awkward it must have felt for you to be in the presence of royalty. Though over time, you began to do something so few have ever done. You began to see past my crown and see the mare that rests underneath. You saw each of us not as royalty, but each of us as a woman. You and my sister got along so well… I saw you smile and laugh together and she carried that smile wherever she went. And then you did the impossible. You reached out and touched a sister who was once my enemy, bringing her back to us as a friend. I do not think you know what you meant to Nightmare Moon… She is crushed without you… I pray she recovers someday…”
The tears then fell. I could feel my throat close as I gasped. My head throbbed in pain, my eyes sore. And yet, I continued to speak. “I was finally given the opportunity to be in your presence. And…it was indeed a splendid experience. I saw and felt your tenderness for myself. I wish I had done so sooner. I wish…I could have been your friend. I saw some of myself in you. I am certain…you and I would have been fast friends, if given enough time.”
I could see it in my reflection. A tiny gold ring lined with amethysts resting at the base of my horn. A gift from my fallen friend. One I did not ever expect. A gift that has become one of my most precious belongings. “You were neither the night nor the day… You… You were the eclipse. The calm serene nature of the night with the warmth of the sun peeking just over it with the proper coaxing. You…were ideal for reintroducing humanity to this world. With you serving as its herald, this project would have surely been a success…”
“You don’t know what you’ve left behind… So many will mourn your passing once word spreads. I wish I had more time to get to know you. To find out what my sisters saw in you. I swear, my friend… You will not be forgotten. Goodbye…my friend.” I could not stay any longer. I had to go. His gear and armor needed to be laid to rest, possibly for the final time.
I returned to the throne room at a leisurely pace. Upon my arrival, I found Luna standing before the throne with a familiar shield with a sword’s hilt and crossguard jutting up from behind it. And beside that rested a silver chalice with a lid resting upon it. I knew what was underneath. Luna took one look at me and asked, “Shall we?”
“Yes… Let’s.” It was all I could bring myself to say. Together, we lifted the throne before us to reveal the spiraling stairwell that led down into a vault nopony had ever known of. The resting place of this most sacred treasure meant for friends long since vanished.
The air was cool. The scent in the air musty. The only sound to pierce the silence being the flickering of flames on the torches that lined the walls, our own footsteps, and the billowing magical energies that surrounded our horns. And soon, at the very end of the hall, we entered the chamber once more. Luna lifted the lid upon the chalice and poured its liquid contents into the basin set into the altar before us. And I lifted the Lunar Shield to the wall, once again setting it in place. Perhaps to never be used again… The scene before us… It was exactly as it was when we first revealed it to him.
“All these preparations… All this time…wasted.” I spoke softly, grieving the failure of the project. For centuries I had watched that world, waiting for the proper time. The human we chose by chance proved to be the right choice. And now we were back where we started.
Luna lifted her head, her eyes set upon me. “We must search the planet once more, sister… There are surely others out there who harbor the qualities needed for…”
“No, Luna… Not now.” I spoke with a heavy heart. As important to me the restoration of humanity in our world is, it was too soon. “You saw them, Luna. They are devastated. Some of them even seemed…broken. If we bring another human to our world, they may view it as a means to replace him. It will reopen old wounds. It may take years, perhaps even decades, but we mustn’t. Until they have completely recovered from this loss, this project is on indefinite hiatus.”
Luna let out a long sigh, her gaze turning to the floor. “I understand entirely… I… I believe I would want to wait as well. I am not ready to move on. And our sister would likely be furious if she even remotely assumed such a thing as well.”
Our sister… Nightmare Moon. I had to see her soon. I was worried of what had become of her since yesterday. She surely must have awakened by that point. “Luna… Let us depart. There is something I must do immediately.”
We departed the vault, sealing the stone door to the chamber one final time. And once we had lowered the throne back in place, I made my way to where I needed to go. The tallest tower in the castle. I could not see it, but I could sense it. A powerful magic shell set over the entire spire to keep its occupant trapped within. It is normally used as a guest room, so it contains all the necessities of an extended stay. I dare not try to open the door, so I instead flew over to the balcony. Glass doors stood at the entrance to the chamber, allowing me to see within. The barrier allowed me to set down upon it, Luna having likely configured it to allow myself through. The room was dark. I lightly tapped on the glass, hoping to draw the attention of whoever was inside. “Nightmare Moon? Are you well? It’s me, Celestia.”
At first, I thought she was still slumbering as a result of Luna’s spell to pacify her when she…received word of our friend’s passing. But just as I was on the verge of departing, I saw it. Sudden movement inside followed by two glowing lights gazing at me from the other side of the door. I heard a voice filled with anger, muffled by the glass panes. “Release me, sister.”
Nightmare Moon… I had never thought I would hear that tone projected at me once again. My heart was heavy. I could see it. She was filled with a type of wrath I had never seen in her before. Not even when she first manifested within my sister so long ago. “If I do… What will be your first course of action?”
Her response was prompt and cruel. “What else? I will hunt down the traitors who murdered him and send them to him so that they may beg him for forgiveness.”
Such malice in those words… It felt…unnatural to hear it from her. She had always been darker than Luna or myself… Possibly a result of whatever foul magic that resulted in her creation. But this? “I cannot, sister… They are suffering just as much as you are right now, if not more. I will not allow you to harm them.”
I jumped back. She roared upon trying to blast her way through the door with lightning magic, but the barrier held. “They know not what they’ve done! I witnessed it, Celestia! I saw them make that sacred vow! The vow to keep him safe from Discord’s wiles! They vowed, and they failed! I placed my faith in them, and they betrayed us all!”
It hurt… I love my sister, I truly do. I wanted to enter the chamber and comfort her, but I dare not bypass that second layer of the barrier while she was consumed with such wrath. “I know… And I assure you that they are just as devastated… You must understand, Nightmare Moon. It was Discord’s doing, not theirs. You know how he was before he was first sealed. He was mad with despair. And this… This was the final result of that madness.”
“They had bested him before, sister. They knew what to expect! They could have triumphed! But now… You’ve seen what they have wrought! This, I cannot ever forgive…” She sounded furious, yet also on the verge of tears. As if there was another emotion she was trying to keep contained behind the wrath.
“I know, sister… I know… I know he was your friend. He was mine too, even if he possibly did not know it… I understand that you were close to him…” I did all I could to try to calm her. But as I spoke, she practically rammed her face into the glass, bringing us closer together. I could see them. Glowing streams of tears that poured down her cheeks.
“Friend…? Friend…?! You know not what he was to me, sister!” I could not back away. She was mere inches away from me. “Allow me to enlighten you. If I had my way, you would be referring to that man as King James by now. And I as Queen Nightmare Moon. And by this point, you and our sister would likely be expecting the first true addition to the royal family since the day Luna was born. That is what that man meant to me. And I will never… NEVER forgive them for what they have stolen from me!”
I could scarcely breathe. Such powerful words. James… He… He had never been a mere friend to her. She… She had loved him. Craved him. Sister… He was her beloved. And… To think I had been blind to such feelings. I should have seen it in their chemistry. In hindsight… It almost feels as if they were meant for one another. But now… Nightmare Moon… How I wish there was something I could do to mend your shattered heart…
“I… I see… Then…” I could not even speak. My mind was swimming with newfound guilt.
Finally seeing that she would not be granted the freedom she craved, my sister turned away from me. “Just…leave me be… Leave me to my sorrow…” She vanished into the shadows, the door before me completely silencing anything else that may be coming from within the room. I then departed with a heart as heavy as lead. What have we done…
I gathered the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony into the main hall. All six stood before Luna and myself, though Fluttershy took longer than expected to arrive. She never once spoke, almost as if blindly following her hooves. But regardless, it was time to say goodbye. We could not keep them from their lives back in Ponyville forever. “Everypony is here now?”
“We are, your highness…” Twilight Sparkle mumbled quietly as she stood ahead of her friends. I had never before seen such absolute misery in her eyes before. And for the first time ever since taking her under my wing, there was nothing I could do or say to comfort her.
I did all I could to console my subjects, even if it was futile. “Once again…I am deeply sorry for what has occurred. Neither of us could have foreseen this disaster. Although it does not make it easier to bear… Please, return home and rest. Mourn for as long as you must.” I then turned to my sister. “Luna. Have you and Pinkie Pie gathered the names of who to send invitations to?”
She nodded with a profound frown spread across her lips. “We have. It was…a surprisingly long list.” Pinkie Pie, her mane and tail still strangely straight and long, nodded in silence. Truly a bizarre mare.
“Hey… Uh… How long until the funeral though?” Rainbow Dash asked weakly, her eyes still swollen from countless tears shed.
“One week, Rainbow Dash. We must give the guests time to plan their visit. It will be held in Ponyville, as he would have desired… His body will be preserved for the day. Also… Rarity?” I explained before turning my gaze to the bearer of the Element of Generosity.
She lifted her head to look directly at me. “Yes, your highness?”
I glanced at Luna, who returned my gaze before speaking towards her. “We have a request. Could you please weave for our fallen friend fitting attire to wear during his…final farewell?”
Her beautiful azure eyes opened wide. She surely was not expecting such a favor. However, she then weakly smiled as a few more tears fell. “I… I was already weaving something special for him to wear to the…next Grand Galloping Gala… I will finish it at once and personally deliver it to you… Consider it done.”
“Thank you… Now… Do take care on your way home. We will all see you again very soon.” I said while bowing my head towards them. They all solemnly bowed before departing out through the gate, leaving my sister and I alone.
Night came. I lowered the sun while my sister lifted the moon. But I could not sleep. Not with the death of a friend weighing on my conscience. Fireflies flitted to and fro in the royal garden. Crickets chirped, breaking the deathly silence of the night. I turned my gaze skyward once I felt I was truly alone, my eyes directed to my father’s beautiful moon. Mother… Father…
“I am a failure, Mother… Father… I was never destined for the throne like you two. Era after era, failure after failure… I failed to save Discord, I failed to reach our human friends, I failed to defend Canterlot from a Changeling invasion, and now I failed to defend the life of the herald of humanity’s return… I’m not like you, Mother! I do not deserve this crown!” My voice carried into the sky, knowing that it fell on deaf ears. I hung my head as tears of grief and frustration fell. I soon heard the sound of footsteps in the grass not far behind me. Likely one of the night watch making their rounds. “Leave me be… That is an order.”
However, the voice I heard next was not what I expected. It was feminine… Bold… And familiar. “It takes commendable courage to give orders to a true sovereign, child.”
There was another voice. Masculine…gentle… And just as familiar. “Please face us, Celestia. It has been far too long.”
I lifted my head in an instant and turned to face the two guests. I could hardly believe what I was seeing… Well over a millennium since our last meeting and yet… They stood before me. With mane and tail of flickering flames, my mother. Queen Sunflare. And beside her, coat of ebony and mane and tail of gorgeous flowing shimmering silver, my father. King Orbash. “Mother… Father… It… It’s been too long…”
Like a child desperately seeking comfort, I sailed into their embrace. I felt their great wings draped over me as they rested their heads against me. My mother whispered tenderly to me. “There, there… I know you are suffering, my child…”
Father, his voice filled with the familiar tenderness I had always known, spoke to me as well. “We witnessed it all, Celestia. And we felt our presence is needed for this moment.”
I once again felt the frustration fill me once more. The disappointment. “Then you know… I am a failure, Mother. I truly tried once you left the throne in my hooves alongside Luna… But time after time, I have failed Equestria and those dear to me… And now…my incompetence has resulted in the loss of the life of a hero of Equestria! The bearer of Humanity is no more and I could have prevented it!”
Father spoke quietly after a moment of tense silence. “Is that why you are preparing to manipulate your star pupil to eventually inherit the crown from you?”
They knew? What does escape the watchful eyes of my parents? They slowly released me from their grasp and gazed at me. Mother’s gaze was soft, yet stern. She had always been stalwart and stubborn. Father’s was more reserved, showing his kind loving heart as it always has. Mother spoke first. “Celestia, please listen to us. I will say now that I was never in support of your choice to try to reintroduce humanity to this world. That is a bygone era and our people have become accustomed to life without them. But after witnessing what that man was and how he merged with our world’s way of life with little difficulty, I will say that perhaps you were going about it the right way. I feel you made the right choice. You failed no one.”
I was eager to defy her claim. Never before have I felt such anger at myself. But I remained silent. When my mother and father reveal themselves to myself or anyone else, it is an event that I must not defy. They had come to me for a reason. Father then spoke with a faint smile, tempted to show me his full soothing smile, but clearly restraining himself knowing that the situation did not warrant one. “When you were forced to seal Discord away, we had the utmost faith in you and your sister. And you two have flawlessly reigned over this world, guiding our people. Even with the unexpected emergence of Nightmare Moon, you endured and guided Equestria alone until the return of your sister. Celestia, you are indeed a worthy ruler and I doubt anyone could match the two of you as the rulers of this beautiful world.”
“Then answer this, Father… Why have I failed time and again? I failed to save Discord from his sorrow. I failed to turn our former friends away from their misguided treachery. I failed to see the anguish and longing that was taking hold of Luna. I even failed to see such obvious warning signs when the Changelings invaded Canterlot. And now… My friend is dead because of me! How can I be worthy to reign when there is blood on my hooves?!” I felt my frustration and self-loathing spill over once more. I wanted to believe them, but my doubt was weighing down on my soul.
Mother sighed and shook her head. She then tenderly rested her hoof upon my shoulder, shoes of flames flickering over her ankles. “Yes, you have failed and made mistakes from time to time. But that is a part of life, is it not? And yet, despite your shortcomings, Equestria continues to thrive.”
My father then spoke while he began to circle me. “Some of your ‘failures’ were unavoidable, Celestia. Discord made the mistake of opening his heart too wide to his people during his reign. His immortality became a curse, and this world his prison. And you know that our former friends turned on us due to the seeds of disharmony he sowed into the mind of their final emperor during his final years of madness. It was beyond our control.”
The tears began to slow. I truly wanted to believe that I was not at fault for the many mistakes I had made, even if my heart said otherwise. Once more, mother spoke to me. “Celestia, it is true that you may have made mistakes during your reign. But even you are not perfect. It is likely that more mistakes and failures lie in your future alongside Luna’s. But you must understand, my child. When you are as beloved and just a ruler as you are, your people will stand by you in your darkest hours. As you have guided and supported them, they in turn will support you.”
Such wisdom in those words… And I had been blind to such thoughts for so long. Father then smiled at me more wholeheartedly than before. “You are indeed worthy of the throne, Celestia. Your mother and I would not have entrusted this world to you if you were not. So please. Continue to watch over Equestria as you always have with Luna by your side. You two are this world’s sovereign rulers and you always will be.”
No words came. There was nothing I could say. But the more I listened, the more I knew that they were right. I have always been hard on myself whenever a failure or mistake was on my hooves. But they are right. The people have never spoken ill of me. And to this day, they look to Luna and me for guidance. My heart was still heavy, but I felt a great weight being lifted from my shoulders. Mother and Father… They have always been there when I have needed them most.
Before I could even offer a retort or a word of thanks, I heard a voice speak up from somewhere behind me. “Your highness? Forgive me, but is this a bad time?”
I immediately turned to face the visitor and found Estoc standing before me. In his magical grasp seemed to be a weatherproof folder. “I apologize if I am disturbing you this evening. I made one last sweep around the labyrinth’s exterior and found this just inside the entrance. From what I see, it appears to be some sort of journal.”
For whatever reason, he seemed surprisingly unimpressed or startled by the presence of my parents. At least until I glanced over my shoulder. Mother and Father were gone. No trace of them remained. Trying to keep face, I turned to face Estoc and took the folder into my grasp before looking through it. I recognized the handwriting in mere seconds. It was James’. When I glanced at the last page, I quickly understood what it was. This was his final journal entry. “Thank you, Estoc. I will deal with this personally. You are dismissed.”
With a bow, he was gone. Once I was certain I was alone, I carefully scanned my surroundings. After a moment, I saw them. A pair of equine forms in the distance between the trees and bushes. Wings were spread before they ascended upward and were gone. I could not help but smile solemnly. I could only hope I would see them again someday soon. Although it would likely be centuries before that day came again.
And now I must rest. This journal must be sent to Twilight first thing in the morning. His final recorded thoughts would be best in the possession of his dearest friends. And then… The painful task of sending word to those whose lives he touched. I dread to see the next week from now…