//------------------------------// // Chapter 14 // Story: The Human Hero of Ponyville // by Alex Rite //------------------------------// Chapter 14 Have a Talk on the Wild Side Written by Alex Rite with the help of the amazing Deyeaz and the brilliant LikeaBaws We find our hero and his draconic sidekick practicing on his makeshift training ground with Twilight and Owlyicious, the latter being there for no real reason, on the sidelines. It was a few days after the attack of the Shadow Puppet and the discovery of Draconium, and Alex and Twilight had both agreed that he and his backup (a.k.a. Spike and Smokey) should have more training sessions together each day to help prepare them for anymore surprise attacks. Smokey's absence at the training ground on this day was abnormal, as the Aussie-accented canine was quite fond of their activities, but the diamond dog had declined on this day because he already had made plans to help the Crusaders with another of their crazy Cutie Mark earning schemes. Smokey was let off the hook with only a warning to make sure they didn't do anything too dangerous. Spike was excited for training today. Since the attack, the three of them began to spar with each other to keep their fighting skills sharp. After Trixie had given Spike Magic Spells of the Magnificent Merlin the Magician in order to help him grow stronger, the young drake had closely and carefully been studying the spells of the mystical book, his confidence growing with each new useful bit of knowledge. Spike had recently learned a few new combat spells that he was dying to try out in a sparring session, and with Smokey absent from their group, his sparring partner automatically became the half Draconequus hero he greatly respected. Before they began the sparring session, Alex leaned Draconium against a tree, deciding not to use the spear in this fight even though he had dulled the spear's point to make it less deadly, since it might still cause his little buddy a lot of harm. The two stepped into the chalk ring Twilight had made for their sparring, both hyped for the fight. "You ready to check out my new spell, Al?" the magic reptile asked his mentor. "You know it, bro!" Alex replied. "Well check out this epicness!" Spike slammed his fists together and exclaimed, "Flammeum Colaphis!" The spell now cast, Spike's fists became cloaked in his signature green flames. The purple dragon smiled smugly at the impressed look upon the chaotic being's face. "Not bad, little amigo! But now-" Alex intimidatingly cracks his knuckles and neck, bringing out his bird and bat wings, making his single, cool-looking fang grow, and morphing his arms into their lion claw and eagle talon forms, encasing them in his magic, dark-purple aura. "-it's time to cause some chaos!!! "What the-? You have a catchphrase now?!" "Yeah. Cool, right?" "It's really cool! Hold up, I need to think of one for myself." Spike thinks really hard about it. "Oh, how about I'm all fired up!!" "Taken." "Oh... Uh- how about flame on!!" "Taken." "Dang it! Okay, what about, it's crime-fighting time!!" "Surprisingly enough, taken." "Aw man!" Spike exclaimed in frustration. Sighing, he said, "Forget it, I'll work on it later, let's just start the spar." "About time," remarked Twilight. "Okay... Begin!" Alex and Spike stood outside in a makeshift ring, feet planted around the edges. Spike flitted his tongue out like a snake detecting fear. Alex flexed his fingers nimbly like a Western gunslinger. Suddenly, Spike moved towards Alex with his flaming fist ready to hit. Alex dodged the attack and swung his leg to knock the little dragon over, a trick that might have worked worked at one point in the past, but since he began training with Alex, the purple drake's reflexes and agility had significantly improved. Using these newly honed skills, Spike managed to jump over the half-human's leg and vault to a safe distance. "You're getting better." Alex observed, acknowledging his student's skills. "I learned from the best." Spike replied, quite pleased with himself. "True, true." Alex then attacked the dragon again, tricking him by flanking his left, then wrapping his dragon tail around his draconic opponent's right leg to trip him up. The ruse worked, as Spike attempted to dodge the false attack and stumbled thanks to his bound leg. He quickly recovered, however, and wrenched himself from Alex's grasp and get out of range only moments before his foe's eagle taloned hand could make painful contact. "So that's how it's gonna be, eh?" Spike stated, jumping a further distance away from his opponent. "Then try this on for size! Flammeum Proiectum!!" At the utterance of the spell, the fire engulfing the dragon's hands pooled into two orbs of green flame slightly floating above his open palms. "You can throw fireballs?! That is so cool!" "I know, right?" Spike replied. "How about you get a closer look." "...Crap." Spike hurled the green flames at Alex, who knew he wouldn't be able to dodge them. Without even thinking, Alex's wings folded down in front of him into a sheild to block the oncoming attack. The wings withheld the attack, remaining undamaged aside from a few scorched areas and one burning feather that Alex quickly and calmly put out. "Not bad," Alex said, grinning. "But it'll take a little more to bring me down." Unfortunately for Alex, as luck would have it- bad luck to be precise- a very strong gust of wind chose to blow towards him at this time. Alex's wings caught the full force of the breeze, sending him flying backwards with great strength headfirst into a "conveniently" placed tree. The impact that resounded was strong enough to actually cause the tree to shake. Serious head trauma now inflicted upon him, Alex blacked out. "Ooooohh..." said Alex. "Did anypony get the number of that truck that hit me?" "Good sir? Are you alright?" asked an unfamiliar voice. It emanated a rather… sophisticated jingle, as though its owner has submerged itself in oceans of literature and knowledge "What the? Who said that?" Alex opened his eyes to see Twilight and Spike worriedly standing over him, and Owlyscious standing on his chest. "What?" Twilight said. "We didn't say anything." "My word! Did you actually hear me?" exclaimed... "Owlyscious?!" hollered Alex in confusion, now realizing that it was the avian standing on him who had been speaking. The shock of the realization was so great, Alex came to full attention and jumped up, throwing the owl from him in the process. Luckily, Owlyscious managed to save himself from the fall just before he landed on the ground. "What about Owlyscious?" asked Spike, confused by his mentor's outburst. “Heavens! I never expected such an anomaly!” the owl exclaimed. "What the what?" Exclaimed Alex. "Do you guys not here that? Owlyscious is talking! And in a fancy accent too!" “Alex, I think you’ve gone… I dunno, absolutely nuts?” Spike suggested. “Spike! That’s not how you announce someone’s insan– I mean, sudden ailment!” seethed Twilight. "Yeah! Besides, I was already insane before I hit that tree!" Alex barked. “If anything, I’ve probably gained a bunch of IQ points from that crash!” "Wait... maybe you're not far off from the truth." Said Twilight, scratching her chin inquisitively. "Oh, here we go!" exclaimed Owlyscious with elation. "My brilliant owner is about to use her intellect to solve a problem yet again! I love it when she does that!" "Anyone ever tell you you sound like Ricky Gervais?" Alex asked the owl. "Who?" Owlyscious replied. "Ha!" “Oh, bother...” “Maybe it has something to do with those Draconequus powers of yours. The blow to the head must of reactivated some strange surge of magic neurochemicals in your brain, mostly somewhere in your occipital lobe, awakening this… new power of animal communication.” “English, damn it, English!” wailed Alex, her intellectual gobbledygook flustering him. "I think she's saying you got hit so hard, you got a new power and can talk to animals," translated Spike. "Awesome." Alex replied. "See, Twi? Was it so hard to just say that?" An angry grumble was Twilight's response. "Anyways," She continued. "We need to find someone who can help teach you to use this new power. And I know just the pony to do it." Knowing exactly who she was talking about, the three of them all said it at the same time. "Fluttershy." Arriving at the timid mare's cottage a few minutes later, she had offered them all tea, so Spike and Alex waited on the couch while Twilight explained the situation to Fluttershy in the kitchen. “I dunno if this will work,” Alex hummed, sipping anxiously at his cup of tea. “Oh, please,” retaliated Spike, staring down at his now empty teacup, unamused by the bitter dregs of his cup. "I'm just not sure how much Fluttershy can help." Alex reached over to the table to take one of the peanut butter cookies Fluttershy had lovingly baked as well, only to find the plate gone, vacant of all the delicious morsels. "Hey, where'd the cookies go?!" A gigantic burp answered Alex’s query. Looking for the source, he and Spike noticed a tiny white rabbit whose face was covered in crumbs. "Hey, those were ours!” “What, are you gonna cry about it, you hairless orangutang?” the hare answered snarkily. Alex reared back, disturbed by the bunny’s crude response, before his anger kicked into overdrive. "Why you little-" Alex said, prepared to give the rabbit a good conk or two on the head. Before he could, though, he was stopped by Spike. "Dude, don't." The dragon said. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t make this little punk’s feet into good luck charms!” "That's Angel Bunny! He's, like, Fluttershy's favorite animal! He’s like her golden calf: she pretty much treasures and worships the darn thing. So as much as you really wanna make him into a good stew, you gotta control yourself around the jerk. You harm one hair on that hare, and Shy'll never forgive you." “You heard the lizard, big boy!” boasted Angel, jabbing himself in the chest with a furry thumb to emphasize his dominance of the situation. “Touch me with one of those… freaky tentacles on your arms, and I’ll make you regret it!” “What are you gonna do, give me allergies?” Alex replied. "And if you don't like my fingers-" Alex shifted his arm to lion form and made his eyes glow a bit, just for effect. "-then how about my claws?" “Oh, come on, Simba!” Angel hollered, putting up his fists Thai boxing style. Alex ignored the unusual reference to one of his more favorable movies. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be looking nice and cozy lying on my ground as a rug!” "You really wanna die, don't you?" Alex hissed. But before any of them could perform any strike of some sort, in entered a humming Fluttershy, her mouth bearing a second plate of peanut butter cookies. She had overheard Alex announcing the sudden lack of confectionaries, and so she took it upon herself to whip up another batch. "Ours!" Exclaimed Alex, snatching the plate before the white rodent could get his paws on it. He proceeded to then shovel handfuls of the cookies into his eagerly-waiting mouth. “Hey, don’t bogart the cookies, dude!” Spike barked, swiping the plate and helping himself to more than his fair share. After collecting his mass of cookies, Angel proceeded to dropkick him in his legs with no avail. The drake didn’t collapse, and instead gave the rabbit a disappointed look. Like a father who had to begrudgingly tell his son, who had developed a chronic love for interpretive dance, that ballet was for sissies. "Boys!" interjected Fluttershy. The boast from the mare caused all motion between the three to stop. "He started it," said Alex and Spike in unison, both pointing at the rabbit who, in turn, was pointing at them both. Twilight facehoofed, grumbling in angst. “Now, now,” scolded Fluttershy. “It doesn’t matter who started it. One of you ought to be mature enough to end it, right?” Her words issued a miasma of guilt through Alex and Spike. Even Angel looked a little ashamed of his previous actions. “Now, if you could all apologize, that would be wonderful,” she finished, a comforting smile spreading upon her lips. “Sorry, Angel,” Alex and Spike droned in unison. They were genuine in their apology, but they weren’t ready to be bouncing for joy about it. "Sorry... ya shapeshiftin' rat." the rabbit half-apologized. Alex bit his tongue, refusing to retaliate. He felt like he needed to be the better man. "So Alex, you can really understand the animals like I can?" asked Fluttershy, interest highly piqued. "Yep." Shooting an unnoticed glare at Angel, he added, "Has its ups and downs." “That’s wonderful!” cried Fluttershy, wings flapping in joy. "Like I said: ups and downs." Twilight gave Alex a quick slap to the head before saying, "We were hoping you could help him learn to use this new ability, Fluttershy." “Oh, my! You’re relying on me for this?” The demure sun-colored mare felt rather surprised by the invitation to tutor Alex. She was surprised, but at the same time, she felt rather honored by the request. “It just feels like such a big responsibility." "Well how many other mares do I know who talk to animals?" Alex retorted. "Good point." Fluttershy replied. "Is- is anybody even paying attention to me?" inquired Angel, peeved that his existence was going unacknowledged. "I'm still in the room, ya know." "Angel, please, no need to be rude," responded Fluttershy. Angel pouted at the response, used to getting his way. Alex smirked. "What would you like to know first, Alex?” The being in question contemplated her question. What did he want to accomplish first? Other than turning Angel into a nice house decoration, anyway. "Well... I wanna learn how to use this ability to its full extent. Maybe to solve problems and make friends who could help me out if I'm in trouble. Utilize them to be very efficient in any way possible." "Yeah, 'cause I take it you get into a lot of that," grumbled Angel smugly. "Angel!" exclaimed Fluttershy. “It’s rude to interject like that, even if it is true.” Alex deadpanned at the pegasus. “What? Honesty is a good value in a friend. That’s why Applejack is such a great friend to us.” "Eh. True." Alex admitted. Angel just snickered to himself. "Well, Alex, if that's what you want to do then I know just who to start with. The chickens!" "Chickens?" "Yeah!" said Fluttershy. “Oh, wouldn’t it be just lovely if you could communicate and be friends with Helen and her chicks?” “Helen?” Twilight reiterated. “Oh! She’s the mama hen.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Of course.” "Welp, good luck with that," said Spike as he began to leave. "And just where do you think you're going?" Alex inquired, holding the dragon by his tail. Snatching his tail from the grasp of his mentor, Spike replied, "Well why should I be here? I'm not the one who can talk to animals." "Yeah, but you are my official sidekick, and one of your sidekick duties include helping me develop any and all new powers I obtain." Spike grumbled, but was clearly defeated. Spike, Alex, and Fluttershy entered the chicken pen. Alex looked over to a hen hanging out in the corner of the pen, all alone. "Hey, who's that one?" Alex asked the mare. "Oh, that's Henriette. She's... not really social. And she doesn't talk much. She's at the bottom of the pecking order." She continued on with the rest of the fowls in their pens. “That one is Henry. He’s such a rambunctious little bird. He loves to play around with the others. That’s Henrique. He’s a little smart for his age, he always manages to teach me something new about anything, really. This little one right here is Sergeant Pecker. He’s a bit loud at times, but he’s such a real cutie when he’s asleep, and that one right there is Colonel Sanders!” Alex was taken aback by the ironic name of the latter chicken. He even chuckled a bit. "What's so funny?" inquired the yellow pegasus, intrigued by Alex’s amusement. "Uh... trust me, Flutters, you don't wanna know.” Alex cleared his throat and started with Henriette. The feathered creature looked rather upset, depression clouding its being. “Er… Hi, there?” “Hmm,” she grunted apathetically. “So, uh, what’s your name?” he asked rhetorically. “Henriette,” she hummed. “Henriette is a cute name.” “Hmm. Thank you.” “So, what do you like, Henriette?” “I like to sleep. I like roosting sometimes. I like eating. I like to think.” “What do you think about?” “A lot of things. Mainly, I feel bored in this cage. But I feel bored anywhere else.” “Well, what brings you your joie de vivre?” The chicken turned her head, clucking in confusion. “Your joy? Your entertainment in life.” “Well… I like jokes, I suppose.” Alex smirked. He could certainly make a funny or two. “Alrighty… you like jokes? I got one. What did the mother hen say to her chicks after she caught them swearing?” “Uh… I dunno?” “Watch your ‘fowl’ mouth.” Henriette put a wing to her beak, stifling a fit of snickers that threatened to burst through. So chickens are easy to please, Alex thought. “Okay. What did the buffalo say to his child before he went to his university?” “What did he say?” asked Henriette, a giddy grin on her beak. “...Bison.” “PFFFF–” The fowl snickered again. "Booooo," said Spike. “Shut’cho mouth!” barked Alex. "Shutting!" Spike replied. "Okay, how do you organize a party in space?" "How?" Henriette asked. "You planet." At this point, the hen fell to the ground in laughter. "And once again, the comedy king has made yet another smile." Alex said. He could slowly feel the development of bonding with the chickens. He moved on to Henry, who was eager to meet this new friend of Fluttershy’s. "So, you must be Henry." "Yep, that's me!" The chicken replied. "So, I hear you're a little crazy at times." "You bet!" "Heh. You're my kinda chicken." "And you're my kind of unknown thing." Alex proceeded to move on in this fashion to the next chicken, and the next, until he had befriended all of them and learned a bit from each. From Henrique he learned that there were myths about humans in Equestria, a thing Alex would look into in the future. From Sergeant Pecker he learned that not all chickens were as cowardly as people thought, though some could be overly paranoid. From Colonel Sanders he learned that the chicken liked to be referred to as Sandy, feeling that his full name was somewhat ominous to him, though he was unsure of the reason why (Alex felt it best not to inform the chicken to the reason behind his unease). And when he finally met Helen inside the chicken coop, she was delighted with him and how he had befriended the other chickens. "We chickens are all about friendship, you see," said Helen. "'A friend to one is a friend to all,' as we like to say." "How very interesting. Thank you, Miss Helen." "Not at all, dear, not at all," Alex exited the chicken coop, feeling emotions of pride, success, and happiness at both how quickly he had managed to put his new power to use and that he had managed to make some new friends. Alex noticed that Fluttershy had disappeared from his side, although he was unsure of when that had happened, as he had been focused on interacting with the chickens. Seeing Spike standing outside the pen, loyally awaiting his mentor, Alex decided to aproach the purple dragon and ask him the whereabouts of the missing mare. "Hey Spike, where'd Fluttershy go?" "She came out a while ago. She said that at the pace you were going, she felt you'd be fine if she left to do some stuff. I take it it went well?" "Very," Alex confidently replied, feeling prideful. "I think they really like me." "I can see that." "What do you mean?" Alex asked, confused. The only response the young dragon gave was to point to the top of his scaly head. Taking the hint, Alex reached above his head to feel, instead of empty air as he would have expected, an object covered in feathers. "What the-?" Alex inquired, bringing the object into his visual range to discover the object was a chicken- Henriette to be precise. "Hey." Henriette said. "Henriette?" Alex said, confused. "Why were you sitting on my head?" And how did I not notice you were there? He wondered to himself. "Well... ya see..." said Henriette, preparing to explain herself. "It's so boring here. I'm not like the other chickens. They're content with living their whole lives in that pen, doing pretty much the same thing every day, but that's not for me. I wanna do things, go places, have adventures. I'm no chicken! Er, figuratively speaking, of course. Anyways, you're a cool guy. I was hoping... maybe I could hang with you and your friends?" "What's she saying?" asked Spike. "She wants to know if I'll let her be a part of the crew," Alex replied. "Will you?" Alex looked at the chicken and thought hard about his answer. "Sure. Why not?" Henriette clucked with joy and moved to sit on Alex's shoulder. "Heh. A chicken that acts like a parrot." observed Spike. "Well, she'll definitely fit in with you and Smokey." "And you." replied Alex, shooting Spike a lopsided grin. "C'mon, let's go tell Fluttershy."