//------------------------------//
// The Moon Horse, The Draconequus, And The Human  
// Story: Equuis To Calvin 
// by Takerwit 
//------------------------------//

I walk into the front door of the Boutique Rares must've left the door unlocked for me, thankfully the lights are off so maybe I can try to sneak in here and fix up these clothes somehow.

I tip toe through the tailoring room and heading into the waiting/living room began to sneak up the steps, as I walked up them they made a pestering squeaking noise that got worse as I went up the stairs. Just as I made it to the very top, the lights in the living room flicked on.

She cleared her throat waiting for an explanation from me but I just kept still as if she couldn't see me if I didn't move.

"I'm waiting," She said, I could here her tapping her hooves onto the wooden floor.

"Um, well, you see what had happened was..."

" Oh Calvin, what have you gone and gotten your self into?" Rarity said putting her hoof to her face.

"I got into a little skirmish with some giant spiders nothing to bad I didn't get bitten or anything just roughed up."

Rarity sits on her haunches and rubs her purple hooves on her temples " I can already tell you will be a frequent costumer, How did you end up meeting such dreadful creatures...y-you didn't go into the Everfree Forest alone did you?"

I don't say anything I kinda just twist my foot to the ground.

"Calvin excuse my vulgarity but, what the buck were you thinking when you did that!?"

"Hey I just thought it was a regular old forest with everyday dangerous animals not some, "Ripley's Believe It Or Not" freak show!"

"It's not just some "regular old forest" its the Everfree one of the most treacherous places on Equuis!"

"Well how else was I supposed to know!?"

Rarity raises and brow to that "Really, don't you have two maps one of Ponyville and the other of all Equestria?"

"Pfft, them symbols could've meant anything."

"Really, like what?"

"Umm...It probably just meant pirate crossing?"

"See what I'm talking about you don't even know about the Everfree enough to just go parading around in there to, to...what were you even doing there in the first place!?"

"I was looking for Twilight to see If she knew how to take me home," I said.

There was a pregnant pause."Oh, dear I'm sorry I didn't know." she hung her head down solemnly.

"Please don't apologize it's not your fault you didn't do any wrong, you're just worried and I understand that besides she said it was going to be awhile before they found anything solid."

I hear tiny hooves moving at the to of the stairs looking up to the apex of the stairs, I see Sweetiebelle wiping sleep out of her eyes with her hoof.

"Rarity, I heard a lot of yelling is everything O.K?"

Rarity clears her throat and brushes her mane out her eyes "Everything's alright Sweetie just go back to bed."

Sweetiebelle yawns and walks back up to her room.

"Well Calvin its getting pretty late right now I believe its time to get some rest, Go ahead and put those clothes on the sewing table I'll get to them tomorrow."

"Thanks Rares." I go for a hair ruffle but she parried my hand away.

"Don't. Touch. The mane," She said seriously.

"Okay...Okay." Me an Rarity make our way up the old wood steps and head into our rooms I change into my pajamas and then do as Rarity says take my clothes down stairs and place them next to the sewing machine around there I see dozens of dresses and suits on adjustable garment racks. They seem the same as any tailored clothes I've seen before except most of the suit only cover the upper torso.

I head back up the to the second story, take a shower, and then fall into the girly looking guest bed.

' God what a night getting attacked by not one but two giant spiders, and then to be saved by a three talking magic ponies afterwards. I have to say I'm glad no one got hurt through that...well except for that spider we left unconscious in the middle of the pathway, that might not bode well.    

Somebody should probably take care of that, but there is no way in hell I'm going back into that forest besides I'm sure that everything will be fine unless somebody messes with it we should be fine.

I find a comfortable position to sleep in and without notice slowly drifted off into sleep as I lay there nodding in and out of drowsiness I think about my situation. Living in this world is hard, but the inhabitants are even harder...That and never go into the Everfree again NEVER AGAIN!

I drift into a blissful slumber as my mouth slowly opens letting drool come down onto the cool side of the pillow.


* Calvin's House *


The blaring sound of a cars alarm going off startles me out of my sleep, I groan and rub the temples on my forehead in agitation silently wishing whoevers car that so rudely interrupted me from sweet sleep would get crushed by a wrecking ball. Looking at the phone on my night stand I checked for the time."7 AM, Sunday morning another boring predictive day." I say aloud to myself. 

Swinging my legs over the bed I take in the atmosphere of my room. Dark blue walls surround me on all sides excluding my bedroom door and sliding closet which were both white, at the foot of my bed was a flat screen T.V atop a television stand with an Xbox 360 (still haven't gotten Xbox one) chillin' in the shelf underneath it. All furniture was a dark color of wood I will never be able to identify.

I get up and look at myself in the mirror on my dresser. I stroke my goatee but I wasn't paying attention to my chin, no I was peering at the nappy hair on my head.

Nappy, definition: Tightly coiled / curled unaltered hair. Coiled hair in its natural state as found on people of African descent who do not chemically alter their hair texture. Used in a sentence: "Damn boy you lookin' happy to be nappy!" 

Seeking to correct this I walked into my bathroom and brushed my hair along with other hygienic processes, coming out of the bathroom making for the next objective making breakfast but not without going through my hall way passing by the guest bathroom, guest room, and office. Making a sharp right I meander into my warm colored living room with brown couch and matching lounge chair.

The sound of bare feet slapping against tile flooring meets my ears as I come into my kitchen/dining room/laundry, opening my freezer I grab the first thing I see which just so happens to be blueberry Eggo waffles grabbing two of them and slipping them into the toaster slots and pushing the lever down. As I sit here and wait for my waffles to be done I cant help but think about that dream I had and how... bizarre it was.

' What the hell is a grown ass man doing dreaming about Technicolor horses, come on man get your act together dream about transformers or something.'

As preposterous as it all was it was all so very real, every smell, every touch, even the taste of the food there was realistic. And believe it or not the place was really starting to grow on me aside from the giant spiders which will haunt me forever, but at the same time I was away from my family...maybe that's what the dream was trying to tell me talk to my family more granted it took it a hell of a lot of time to tell me this. And I usually never really remember most of my dreams, so how is it that I can remember everything. Speaking of remembering I just now remembered those cookie dough Oreos!

Hearing the toaster pop takes me away from my thoughts of the dream I grab a paper plate and placed my waffles onto the flimsy plate and completely drenched them with maple syrup, taking the plate into the living room I turn the T.V on to my DVR selecting a recording of Chappelle Show.

So now I just sitting there on my couch eating my favorite waffles and watching my favorite comedy show I can't help but notice something strange...

On the end table in between the lounge chair and the couch was what had to be the ugliest lamp I've ever seen in my life.



It's one of those things that make you think who the hell would by this for 500 dollars?

I grab the junk and walk out of my front door with the intent of throwing it in the dumpster with little care, It's a beautiful morning in Kingsville the air is very humid with the future promise of rain. I open the dumpster and throw the lamp in the garbage, then take it to the curb so the garbage men can pick it up as soon as possible.

I think about calling my mom and grandmother, when I came back in sitting there on the same exact place it was before I grabbed it.

"Wh-what the hell?" I  walk over to the little lamp with not much to offer pick it up and threw them into kitchen waste bin. Once again turning back around sure enough the lamp was there in the same exact spot.

I can't help but have some familiarity with this strange object but quickly throw that out the window and by that I mean the lamp.

Turned back around and guess what the stupid lamp came back only this time it was on the dining table and thus began the strangest experiences I have ever seen in my life and I've seen some shit now.

Every time i moved it somewhere it would end up in some other random place that I never recall putting it, one second its in the dining room the next it's the kitchen, another moment it's in the bath tub the next it's back in the living room again. The channel kept changing to sappy soap operas and lets not forget to mention that I found that someone ate my waffles and didn't even leave a single crumb for me, and at this point I'm pissed royally pissed.

You fuck around with me and this lamp, you can change my channels, hell you can drink all of my chocolate milk, but god dammit you don't just break into a mans house and eat his blueberry waffles! I also realize that I got freak on my hands.

I arm my self with the best weapon I could find, a back scrubbing brush what can I say wasn't prepared for a burglar this weird caught me way off guard.

The lamp is now complete gone, but now there's a new threat I can hear the sounds of somebody rummaging through a fridge. This dudes gonna jack all my groceries...is the struggle really that hard? 

I slowly make my way towards the opened fridge door growing closer and closer to the criminal, upon arrival I can hear him humming a tune under his breath.

'Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm just a pinch. Hmm, hmm, hmm, add a teaspoon of vanilla.'

I raise my weapon above my head and strike...


...nothing but air

"What the what!?"

The guy disappeared but he left a massive mess in the kitchen cupcake pans and batter spread everywhere.

I feel a tapping on my left shoulder turning left there was no one there, I hear some one whisper 'Over here' in my right ear and some thing furry tickles my ankles. I hear him laugh at my frustration and expense as I look around franticly like a madman hearing the voices in his head, there was a point when I thought I did go crazy.

"Behind you..."

I whip around quicker than a cheetah on speed with a sense of accomplishment that is quickly wiped off my face as I see my offender whom was none other than-

"Discord!?" I said astonished and afraid that he was here.

"Ah, Calvin Maurice Stubbs I don't believe that we've been legitimately aquatinted since Celestia's little "Soiree." he made quotation marks with his claw and paw.

Upon being this close to him I never really noticed how tall he was before, just about every part of him was uneven including his eyes. 

"I wanted to try an old cupcake and greet party but it seems my cooking skills aren't as amazing as I thought they'd be." He looks to the massive mess that is my kitchen.

I suck on my teeth"Naw you think, how the hell you even get here anyway?"

"You left your garage door open." Discord nonchalantly checks his lion paw.

Sure enough there my garage was wide open "Aint that about a bitch."

"No Calvin I don't think its about a female dog I think its about your distinct lack of home safety." Discord sits over the stove pouring batter into the pan while wearing an apron I've never even seen in this house before that says "Kiss The Draconequus."

"Oh, no, no, no HELL no you need to leave I don't know how you got on Earth but you need to go back with your magically confusing powers!" I try to push him out through the garage but he teleports in a flash.

I turn around and see Discord watching my flat screen T.V, sitting on my couch, with his feet on my table and eating a big bowl of my popcorn." Have you seen this episode isn't it hilarious?" he said stuffing some popcorn into his mouth, he then laughs and popcorn kernel debris goes everywhere on the coffee table.

I gonna have to get ghetto on his ass. "Hold up, hold up, hold up. That's three times, hol- that's four in a half I'm gonna have to ask if you can get your dirty ass feet off my fuckin' coffee table son." I push them off the table.

"Well fine then"-He stands up from the couch with a hmpf, muzzle held high in the air-"if this is how you treat guest then quite frankly I don't wanna stay here for much longer."

as he heads for the front door I quickly run over to the foyer to see him out, as he steps out on to the front porch he stops and turns to me.

"By the way have you-" Before he could finish his sentence I slammed the door in his face.

'Now that that's over now I can focus on cleaning the kitchen...and the living room...and getting a lock on my garage.'


"Calvin you didn't let me finish."

"Aww, come on!"

I see discord leaning on his shoulder in the hallway with the smuggest smile.

"How'd you even get in here again!?"

"Your bedroom window was open."

(Meanwhile in Calvin's room there lies shattered glass and a single brick on the ground how he heard nothing is a mystery that will never be answered)

"Look I don't care how you got in here but you need to go straight back to planet Equuis, I have no patience for this right now."

"As I was trying to say before this place isn't as real as you think it is, have you noticed anything strange or out of the ordinary anything at all?"

Actually I do have a bit of a strange feeling now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know its like everything here isn't real"You know what-"

Theres a loud explosion heard coming from my room.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now!?"

Running into my room theres blue sparkly dust flying around the room everywhere, I could hear a female coughing in the mist as it cleared I saw yet another familiar face.

"Well, well look whos joined the crazy party." I say arms crossed quite frankly I'm not even surprised.

"You two were having a party?" Princess Luna cocks her head. She looks to the ground and sees the shattered glass spread all over the carpet. "It looks like you two were having a bit too much fun."

"No, but there's something crazy going on here...wait a minute...am I in a dream?"

"Ding, ding, ding we have a winner! Suzie tell the man what he's won." Shouts discord standing in the door way.

"Why didn't you tell me were in a dream if you already knew about it what the hell?"

"Ya know I thought you'd know a dream when you saw one, but when I was just simply pushed out the door I decided to try and give you a few hints and then I blatantly asked you. You would think a creature from an advanced civilization such as yours would of picked up on that by now." The 'Draconequus' or at least that's what I think he is it said that on his apron looks to Princess Luna questioningly stroking his white beard. "And why if you don't mind me asking, are you here dear Princess of the night?"

"I was merely traveling through the halls of the Dreamscape when I came across an door I was never familiar with before and I've just about memorized them all, it generated an strange aura almost alien I should have known it was your door. But I have to give you credit where its due your door was incredibly hard to budge almost as if its 'hinges' were rusted from long a period of neglect."

Discord nodded in agreement. "Oh it's true the first time I tried to get in here was a real hassle"- he knocks on my head as he does so I swear I hear the sound of someone banging on metal-"You've got a real thick head there."

"Which reminds me I thought I told you to stop invading other ponies dreams, how many times must me and my sister tell you its been two weeks!" Luna shakes the blue mysterious sparkly dust residue off of her coat, flapping her leathery/feathery wings to keep it away from her body. 

"Oh come on Lulu were still on this!? Only one pony caught me in the act and that was my best friend in the whole world Fluttershy, we were having such a delightful conversation nothing concrete just idle chit chat." Luna's pupils narrowed a bit being called that nickname.

"I can't speak for the element of kindness but I can speak for the one-hundred and sixty six Canterlot citizens coming in with complaints of having nightmares and seeing a male serpent-like figure at the same time, you gave a colt so much of a fright he wouldn't come from his parents flanks."

"Please he was obviously exaggerating and even if he wasn't then how was I supposed to know he was afraid of clowns, who goes to a birthday party without a clown its simply unheard of!" The Draconequus said arms up in the air.

"Umm, excuse me but can we all come back to the situation at hand? I still don't really understand this, so can all ponies do this invasion of another's mind thing?

"Well I wouldn't call it an invasion but no as far as Im concerned only me and Discord here can enter a ponies dreams and memories...at least without killing them."

"What was that last part?" my voice cracked a little.

"Oh nothing." She takes a look around my room in great interest.

"So this is what a humans room looks like, i wont lie its a little underwhelming compared to what me and Tia were imagining." She takes interest in my television and Xbox walking over to it she sniffs it, which was a weird thing to see but as she's sniffing it her nose rubs up onto the sensitive power button turning it on with a hum (due to the thumb drive in the usb slot) the noise makes her jump with a adorable squeak.

"What is this thing?" she says taking a hasty step back.

"This"-I say patting the top of the big black box-" is an Xbox 360 a gaming system for entertainment purposes."

She gets the look of recognition in her eyes "Ahh, much like the arcade games set up in the Ponyville fun house!"

"This my be a little bit different than what you're used to, i don't think you would be too interested." I said as I turned the T.V. on to the correct input.

"Oh contraire, I'll have you know that im a shark when it comes to video games. I can get very competitive."

"She's not even kidding I've seen her play before its brutal." Discord added.

"We'll have to see about that..."  

I pull out a game that im especially familiar with.

"Tell me Luna, are you familiar with a game controller?" I asked twirling the CD around on my index finger.

"A what now,what kind of game is that?" she looks to the CD in my hand.

"How about we play a little Gears Of War 3?" I made the biggest shit eating grin I could muster.


4 Long And Stressful Versus Matches Later


I don't even know what part of me thought this was a good idea in the first place its been at least I don't even know how long, is there even concept of time in a dream? I thought since I was the one familiar with the more advanced of gaming technology (to them at least) my team would be the one racking up the points but I was sadly mistaken for Luna is a formidable opponent; I don't know how she figured out the controls so quickly but as soon as she did she screwed the both of us me  and Discord. Luna was on the side of the COG by herself while me and Discord were opposing her from the Locust side.

Luna choose the character Cole Train, I choose the Kantus (because Kantus is best Locust), and Discord was a Theron Guard. The first match was a complete success with the help of my guidance me and Discord won the first match. To be a bit merciful and not come across as a total dick I taught Luna how to play the game and what the best weapons were, I even gave her a short summary of the Gears Of War story...all this and more was a great mistake. As soon as she got these tips she took off getting head shots left and right, making outrageous executions that I've never even unlocked, and making good use out of every weapon needless to say we stood no chance, not to mention Discord is the definition of a noob. how somebody kills themselves with their own weapon is beyond me. The only good points we got were from me resorting to camping its a legitimate strategy! 

"Aha, fifth time in a row nopony can stop the Cole Train baby whooo!" Luna gloats for as you heard the fifth time in a row now.

"I gotta give it to you Princess, your really good at video games I admit defeat. But you Discord you; what the heck was that!?"

"What was what!? I did exactly what you told me to do!"

"You were doing the exact opposite! I told you to grab the frag grenades you grabbed the smoke you knew that wasn't going to work against her!" 

"Frag grenades, Smoke grenades, Ink grenades what's the difference!?" 

"There's a very obvious difference there if you would have listened!"

"Boys..."

"I was just trying to have fun with it, but instead I got somepony breathing down my neck!" Discord said pushing his face into mine.

"I wouldn't be breathing down your neck if  you didn't die from your on crossbow bolt!" I pushed my face back.

"Boys!"

At this point  are faces are clash for a battle of dominance (this is starting to sound like a clop scene isn't it? ).

[Royal Canterlot Voice] "BOYS!" she used that voice thing which grabbed our full attention. 

"What!?" We both said in unison.

"Do you two smell that?" She said sniffing the air.

As I smelled the air the first thing I smelled was burning food.

"Discord did you leave my oven on?" Discord replies with a simple head shake no.

"Nope, turned it off starting a fire was none of my intention"- he makes a wild series of motions-" Cross my heart hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

Taking another whiff I can tell that the smell has gotten a lot stronger almost as if its source is in the room with us, my vision starts getting weird and hazy.

"Guys what's happening?" Seriously this is starting to freak me out now.

"Its O.K. Calvin your just beginning to awaken from your slumber this is natural, but the smoke that's new."

My vision grows hazier and hazier by the second and I can almost barely make out what Luna and Discord are saying and this ear piercing ringing that just started is grating at my ears eventually my world goes black.

When I reopen my eyes I'm back in Rarity's guest room, there's smoke looming in from the door, a terribly loud alarm is going off without relent.

I caught a brief sight of Opalescence running to hide underneath the bed I was laying on.

Due to the conditions of my surroundings my slow waking mind could only come to one conclusion

' Sweet Jesus its a fire!!!'

















' Aint nobody got time for that!!!'