//------------------------------// // Questioning Magic and a Mare in my Dreams // Story: Eclipse Born // by Seeking Dusk //------------------------------// Spike was confused by the attitudes around the table come dinner. We left breakfast cheerful and joking with each other, and now I had grim tint to my bearing and a curt undercurrent to my words, and Twilight was shooting furtive glares and frustrated looks at me, the majority of the sounds coming from utensils hitting the plates. Nothing like the banter we had going earlier. There were a few words exchanged. Twilight and I saying a few words on my language lessons, Spike letting her know who came to the library in her absence. Small talk. Very strained small talk. Aside from that, the meal was amazing. Pasta in a rich tomato sauce and chunks of mushrooms that I was hard pressed to tell apart from real meat. It even came with garlic bread. The dragon had a gift. I toyed with thoughts of how you would go about starting a business in Equestria. “Okay, I can’t take this anymore,” Spike said suddenly, dropping his fork with a clatter. “What happened with you two today?” “We did the paperwork to get my status recognized by the mayor. I already told you that Rarity fixed up my clothes and is making me some more.” He had noticed them when we got back and commented. I went on with my brief, and selective, review of the day. “I don’t plan on going back their when she’s in her ‘mood’ again though. I don’t think my heart could take it.” “I met Applejack, Rainbow Dash, um… Fluttershy and a couple other people. Ponies. sorry. Twilight didn’t remember to tell me that I should be careful since I’m still a bit banged up on the inside so we swung by the Doc when Rainbow tackled me. Oh, the flower girls started a minor riot. The three ponies that work at that flower shop. I think one’s name is Daisy? It was about there I met Applejack. Fluttershy was with Rainbow. Strange girls, both of them, but nice.” “Doctor Horse found out that Caleb has magic, and he’s being stubborn and not accepting it,” Twilight said, pointing out the thing that she thought was most the most important discovery of the day, which was also the one I was stubbornly working on ignoring. “Caleb can use magic after all?” Spike asked, looking at me with bright eyes. “That’s pretty awesome! What can you do? Dragons are pretty magic, but aside from being resistant to magic and breathing fire, it’s not much.” “Humans don’t have magic,” I said firmly, and probably with more force than I needed. I don’t know why, but it was important to me, that point, but I went on. “Magic is only in fairy tales, legends and shows on television. Stories. It’s not real. It’s just stuff made up by people back in the days before science could explain how everything worked.” “Caleb; a lot of legends and stories are based on fact, just changed and altered a bit throughout history,” Twilight said, looking me dead in the eyes. “Who is to say that everything bit of folklore and every legend was just told to explain something unknown? What about things just forgotten or ignored? From what you have told us, your world isn’t so different from ours that those factors wouldn’t be the case there either. Three years ago, Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon were just legends, stories told to scare foals until she was proven to be real. Even Discord, for all he did, was just as much legend as he was a fact to most ponies. The Crystal Empire was not in any legends and it’s real. “Caleb, just because it’s unexpected doesn’t mean you should deny it,” Twilight said, her tone softening from the slightly frantic pitch it had taken. “And you can be putting yourself at risk by doing it. Look what happened today. You didn’t even know you had it and you managed to hurt yourself with it. Even if you want to reject your magic, which I don’t think you should, at least learn about it so that doesn’t happen again. What if it is worse next time? Or, and I hope not, someone else gets hurt? It’s irresponsible and foalish of you to do otherwise.” I closed my eyes and exhaled. I wanted to ignore them, I really did, but Twilight made sense. She was proving to having an annoying habit of doing so; making sense, that is. But stubbornness and being contrary came naturally to me, and I kept my expression neutral even as I ran those thoughts through my head. “Caleb?” Twilight said, tentatively, her voice hesitant. She was probably wondering if she went too far. The cynical and self-critical part of me muttered that she hadn’t gone far enough. “I’m going to grab a few of those beginner level books and give them a quick read through before bed,” I announced, getting up suddenly and not acknowledging Twilight’s speech at all. Irresponsible and foalish. Dammit Twilight. “I’ll see you both in the morning.” ---------- Up in my room, as I looked through the equestrian version of an ABC book, I wondered why I did it. It was rude, it was disrespectful to both of them, and it was sort of jerkish to left the dishes to them too. Irresponsible and foalish. A fool and a child. A negligent fool and a child at that. “Dammit, Twilight,” I murmured. She hit all the points on the head. They were tons of legends on earth that had some basis in fact. And who’s to say magic wasn’t one of them. Even in the legends magic was something that was rare and declining. He thought about the urban fantasy stores I read frequently, were technology happed to be the route of development humanity took, rather than magic. I knew exactly why I was so adamant to refuse the possibility of magic, human magic, anyway. It was getting close to the last straw. Already, everything single thing around me had changed. I was literally in an alien world, probably an alien reality. Before I Rarity did her miracle work on my outfit, my body, and I suppose glasses, were the only things I had left that said ‘home’. Home didn’t have magic. Accepting the magic was pretty much the same as accepting that even who I was, what I was, was changing into something alien. I licked the inside of my jaw, holding back the tears, covering my eyes with my free hand. It was getting to me. And I didn’t have anything to talk to about this that could understand. It had been a week now. A week in this weird world of magic and talking ponies, and now the universe decided that the last thing I could hold to, everything I thought about myself, was to betray me. It was a betrayal, I couldn’t see it as anything else. Twenty two years, a lot of those pretending to having magic, much like a lot of kinds and folks with over active imaginations did, and only now, when I’m trapped in ponyland, does my body say, ‘by the way, dude, magic! You tots have it’? “I can’t focus,” I muttered to myself, setting the book aside with a scowl. The childish pictures were somewhat annoying anyway, even if I knew they were pretty much exactly what I needed at the moment. There was still the box of stuff I never got around to looking through. I shuffled across the floor, barefooted since I left my shoes downstairs, though somewhat conscious of the possible of splinters, picking up the box and carrying it back to the bed so I could search in comfort. I idly wondered what could be in it as I opened it, rolling my eyes when the first thing was the other article of clothing they had made for me at the castle. “Joy, joy untold,” I sighed, picking it up and tossing it beside me. The next was a sheet; also not worth of much wonder. What I found underneath it though inspired mixed feelings. Longing, disbelief, shock and restrained excitement, to be precise. It was a bag. A wide mouth covered with a flap decorated with black and blue strips, to zippered pockets hidden in the strips; one larger than the other, the word ‘Tracker’ stitched into it. My bag. The same bag that I had carried to work with me a week ago before I ended up falling into Equestria. It looked just as battered as I felt, marred with numerous burns, the strap more than half gone, charred at the broken end, but it was intact. Carefully, I lifted it out. I could feel the contents inside, specifically the shape of my laptop, and a pang of homesickness mingled with the excitement that had taken a dominant place in my emotional state. As much as I was reluctant to set aside and resist immediately tear it open and check the safety of my belongings, I did anyway, turning back to the box. Fortunately for my nerves, there wasn’t much left in it. The contents of my pocket from that first day, it looked like. House keys, my MP3 player, my wallet and my cell phone. The last was almost totally out of charge. Mechanically, I tilted the box and shook it, making sure nothing was left in it, and set it back on the ground. With a deep breath, I turned to the bag. It was with almost reverent motions that I unclipped and opened it. My laptop was there, as was my ereader and external hard drive. The sandwich I had packed for lunch was gone, but that wasn’t much of a loss. My umbrella was there as well, along with my solar charger. I checked the pockets. All my cables and connects were present as well, even my clip on sunshades. My stuff. My stuff. I never thought I would see them again. I’d dismissed them as just one more thing lost. I carefully pulled out the laptop. For the most part; it was fine. It looked a bit battered here and there, a few things had popped out of place and alignment, but they popped right back in. Should I? Was it wise? I swallowed and opened it. The screen was fine, thankfully; no cracks that I could see. “My baby…” I murmured as it lit up when I hit the power button. As much as I would love to load up a show or something, I shut it back down, setting it aside. “So… is this a sign or something?” I asked no one. Right on the brink of a breakdown due to losing myself, I find all these other things to anchor me, to remind me of home, what got left behind. Irresponsible and foolish, indeed. To put self and others at risk because of fear. Wasn’t it a dream to have talents and abilities, magic of one’s own? A dream that had been around for years, one renewed each and every time the pages of another book opened to tell it’s stories? Why run from it and not embrace it? Et tu, Subconscious? Take Twilight’s side, why don’t you. I sighed and collapsed on the bed, staring at the ceiling, searching for patterns in the whorls in the living wood as my thoughts continued to swirl about. Humans could have magic. I had... I still found it hard to admit it. What the fact meant, and what.. it could do, I had no clue, nor any idea where to start. Correction, I had an idea of where to start; a little purple pony that was adamant that I acknowledge my… magic. I swallowed and put a false grin on. “Buck up, leb,” I said softly, trying to bolster my own spirit. “It’s a dream come true. You’ve got something people fantasized about for years, centuries even. You’re still you, even with… it. That won’t change just because you have a skill you didn’t know about before.” It sounded horribly false, but it was a start. I tried to imagine myself hurling fireballs and calling lightning from the sky like mages in video games and books. Only to get images of friends and family, their faces twisted with disgust and horror as they recoiled. Damn it subconscious, who’s side were you on? I looked up suddenly. Weird, for a moment it was like I heard something. Listening carefully, I picked it up again; the soft taps of hooves on the floor. Twilight coming to visit me, perhaps? They drew closer, then stopped at the point I calculated was just by the door. Silence held for a while, and I held my breath, trying to be as still as possible. The clops started again, but they were heading away this time. I sighed and picked up the MP3 player. It was too soon to apologize to Twilight, and she apparently thought it was too soon to confront me again as well. Sure, I could tell myself that I was a stupid jerk about it, but I was still having trouble admitting, accepting the possibility that I had… magic. In the morning… right now I had a few children’s book to flip through, and music to listen to. I set the autoshut off on the MP3 player for an hour and put it on shuffle, laying back on the bed to read until I fell asleep. ---------- ‘Why does it scare you so much? Accepting something new doesn’t change who you are,’ my old school guidance counselor said kindly. She was one of the people outside of the family I would turn to for insight and advice, and considering the situation; it was something I really needed. We were sitting in a room that reminded me of Canterlot Castle, but furnished for humans, a few bottles of water on the table between us, as well as a bowl of sweets. ‘But this isn’t just something new… this is major. I never showed any signs of this before I got here. This world is amazing, I’m not denying that, but…’ ‘But what, Caleb?’ she asked, a concerned frown on her features. ‘True, you never expressed your gift before, but just like how someone might not know they can float in water until they end up in a pool, maybe this place is just what you needed to realize your gift.’ ‘But what if I don’t want it!’ I snapped at her. The room darkened somewhat. ‘People don’t like different. I get weird looks when I go to some places just because I’m black, more when they see my eyes! But this?’ Something flared around me, and I could feel a slight burning in my chest, throbbing in my head. ‘This is the kind of thing that gets you killed at worse, locked away at best!’ ‘Don’t let your fear make your rash,’ she said soothingly. ‘It is a gift, one you need to learn about before you can really make the best of it. How can you fear it, if you don’t know what your magic can do?’ ‘I DON’T HAVE MAGIC!’ I yelled, the denial response coming out with me fully intending it. Images flashed around the room, of friends and family shunning me because of it. ‘You can’t lie to me, you know you do, and you already have an idea why,’ she said, even as the images surrounded me, each one making me tremble and shake. ‘Don’t deny it. Admit it, embrace it, understand it, use it.’ Her shadow fell over me, darker than it had right to, but the hand on my shoulder was warm, but did nothing to ease my distress. ‘Don’t run from this fulfilment of a fantasy. Learn about it, then you can work from there on what you do with it.’ She pressed down on me. ‘You this world, a world filled with magic, now you have your own.’ I snapped my eyes open as the images were joined with garbled speech. I could hear them muttering, things like freak, unclean, monster, worthless... I buried my head in my hands and yelled. ‘You think I want this place infecting me!?’ ‘Is that really what you think?’ It wasn’t the voice of my guidance counsellor. I looked up to see a dark form step through the images, the spectres that surrounded me, and they fizzed out, turning to dust that wafted away before it. Slowly, it resolved into the dark blue form of someone I knew, but didn’t expect. “Princess Luna?” as I said it, the sound and clarity of the world changed. For a moment, I could feel the slight pressure on my head I recognized from when I was trying to hold on to a lucid dream, then even that faded. I looked around as the rest of the images were dispersed by a gust of wind, and the room returned with the comforts it offered. “This… is a dream?” “It is,” Luna said, looking somewhat impressed. “I am the Princess of the Night. Part of that entails traveling the dreams of my subjects. I am impressed you realized the nature of this realm so quickly.” “I have lucid dreams sometimes, I recognized the feeling when you showed up,” I said, blinking. That was all a dream? Man, that was… different. My guidance counsellor was gone too, leaving just me and the alicorn princess of the night alone in the room. “You’re really here?” “That I am,” Luna confirmed. “Dream walking is one of my abilities and gifts.” Well I’ll be damned. I just looked at her. “No joke?” “Ah, I’m sorry?” Luna said hesitantly. “Your jargon escapes me.” “Mah’sa… you’re really here,” I blinked. I reached out to pinch her, but she batted my hand away with a wing. “I do believe that is unnessessary,” she said firmly. “Sorry,” I said with a sheepish grin. The princess of the night was in my dreams. And wow, that sounded far dirtier than I thought it would be. “Was that your family?” She asked me suddenly, looking off vague in the ‘direction’ the images had been chased. “Yeah, it was,” I said, a trace bit of longing in my tone. “You miss them.” It was her observation, not a question. “Considering I might not see them again, unless I get really lucky, yeah,” my voice cracked slightly. I didn’t want to imagine them that way, judgmental and filled with hate. I wanted to remember them as they were. Loving and caring, getting into the minor little spats that made family both a pain and indispensible. “God, I miss them… It’s only been six days, but… more than you can imagine.” “You would be surprised,” Luna said, so softly that I wasn’t sure she actually said anything. She looked back at me. “So, is that really what you think?” She asked at a normal speaking volume. “An infection?” I grimaced and took a seat, looking for a way to stall. I picked up one of the sweets from the jar, the kind in the predominantly red wrapping, green at the single twist that closed it, gold spots on the red making the whole thing look like a strawberry. I really liked those, particularly the filling inside it. I offered it to her. “Sweet?” With a wry smile, she took it in her magic, which made me wince slightly, considering the cause of the dream, the aura deftly unwrapping it and popping it in her mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected it to taste as nice as it did. “A most lovely confection,” she said. “But not enough to distract me.” I groaned and took one of the candies for myself. “Can’t blame me for trying…” “Is that really what you think?” she asked again, still sucking on the little treat. “That your magic is an infection?” “How did you know about it?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her. “My sister’s pupil is most diligent,” Luna said calmly. “She sent word shortly after it was discovered. As well as word that you were… reluctant to accept the reality of your magic.” “I’ll bet ‘reluctant’ was the word…” I muttered. She did take a while to get back when we got home and Spike and I were in the kitchen. Then she called him away for a few moments too… Clever minx. “I believe ‘stubborn’ and ‘hard headed’ were her terms of choice,” Luna smiled. “But you have yet to answer my question.” “Fine,” I sighed. There was no getting around it. “In a way… I do.” I grimaced again. “I’ll admit, ‘infection’ is a bit much, but… I never had magic before. Now all of a sudden, after I’m here for a while, BAM!” Luna flinched a little. “Magic out of nowhere…” “That’s not all, is it? Or even the real reason.” Luna was pretty insightful. I watched her pick up another two of the sweets and unwrapped them before popping them in her mouth. I didn’t want to admit it, especially not to the really powerful alicorn princess that could raise the moon and walk dreams, but it was still my dream. “I’m scared. I know, told and realized it myself, that I’m about as far from home as I can get. And I can be reasonable about this. I know I’m not likely to get back home for a few more weeks, unless I’m lucky…” Frig. I was starting to cry again. I whipped then off on my sleeve. “It just got to be… too much.” “Stubbornness is a trait ponies share as well,” Luna said with a strange expression on her face. “Still, are you willing to accept it? Not rashly reject it?” “Hell… Not like I have another choice,” I chuckled without a trace of humour. “Twilight came up with a pretty good idea, a concept that could be a theory that I pretty much agree with. My world’s… magic...” I still tripped over it, even there, in a dream in my head. “But it’s just really rare. And I ‘lucked’ out. Yay me.” I rolled my eyes and looked down with a depressed sigh. “Do not fear the unknown,” Luna said, extending a wing and using it to tilt my head to look up at her. “It is easy for fear and mistrust to get the better of you. From there, it is even easier for you become lost in your darker emotions, even when your intentions are not inherently bad.” Her expressions sadden some. “Often, that is when it is more likely. “Instead of locking yourself away, were the turmoil and darkness can fester, and feed on itself and grow, let others in. Trust those around you to help. Already you have at least one ready to assist, and from what she wrote, you have a few more that may be willing to lend you a hoof if you need it. If you think it is getting to be too much for you to bear alone, let them help carry the burden.” “But what about when I don’t understand? I don’t even know why I’m here,” I whimpered. It was hard enough finding a purpose and real goal back home, but now, in an alien world? “I cannot tell you why, or what will happen. Nor can I promise it will be perfect. But I can promise that the sun will always rise in the end, and the moon at night. So there is one good thing you can depend on,” Luna said with a slight smile. I consider it, then nodded. One step at a time. I could do that. “And where do you intend to go from here?” Luna said, nudging me to taking that step. “I… I need to apologize to Twilight,” I sighed. Couldn’t she just leave well enough alone? “And add ‘Magic Lessons’ to my list of things to do.” “It is a good start,” Luna said, standing and spreading her wings. “I look forward to hearing good news from you.” “Hold on,” I called as she started to take flight. She paused, settling back on all four hooves. I shifted my jaw nervously. Bah. It was my dream. She was visiting. I gave her a quick hug. She was softer than I expected, her coat aiding in that fact. “Thank you.” She stiffened slightly, then relaxed, briefly covering me with a wing. “You’re welcome.” ---------- Morning seemed to come right after Luna left. One good thing about rooming in the tree was that a lot of the sun’s rays were blocked, so even the morning light was reduced to pleasant illumination. Unlike the day before, I woke on my own, without the intervention of anyone else. Come to think of it, it had been a while that I wasn’t woken up for someone else. When I was in the castle, the staff seemed to take a certain pleasure in waking me for the mornings. I rolled out of bed and set my feet on the ground, immediately regretting not wearing my shoes indoors when the chill floor hit it. Maybe I would make use of the sandals they had made for me back at Canterlot. My mood shifted when I remembered the dream, far more clearly than most any other dream I had had. “So… dream walking is a think now,” I muttered as I ran my hand over my hair, a motion long since ascended to habit. I needed to apologize to Twilight, and I had no clue what to say. Well, with Luna playing Santa Claus, and Twilight’s love of sending mail, she would know if I didn’t, and I really felt I should anyway. Regretting sleeping in my close, I put my belongings back in my bag, slipped the book I was reading into the rear outside compartment, and clipped everything shut. Until I could get the strap replaced, I would have to carry it by the handle, which would a bit less convenient, but still more than manageable. I left my room and only stopped by the bathroom to relieve myself and freshen up with a bit of cold water. All the while, I had a mantra muttering under my breath. “I have ma-magic. I have ma-a-agic. I ha-have magic. I have mah-magic...” It was still hard to admit it, traces of the same fear that had been prevalent in the dream still lingering. Twilight wasn’t in the dining area or the kitchen when I checked, but Spike was, sitting in the sunlight and munching on something. It was clear from the look he gave me I wasn’t on his Favourite People List at the moment. “Morning, Ca-” “Wait,” I said, holding a hand up to stop him. I exhaled, my shoulders dropping. “I owe both you and Twilight an apology.” “Is that so?” he said guardedly. “Yes, it is,” I said, nodding. “I acted like a jerk last night when Twilight was just trying to help me out. Both of you agreed to put up with me for who knows how long, and the first evening I cause a fuss because I’m and idiot and I over reacted.” I heard hoofsteps behind me, so I decided to go all in. “Fact of the matter is; I got scared and panicked, and took it out on the people who tried to help me. Neither you nor Twilight deserved the attitude I gave you. And it was beyond rude to storm out like that and even leave you to do all the clean up after that great meal you cooked. Can you forgive me?” “I dunno,” Spike said. He looked behind me. “What do you think Twilight?” So I was right, she did walk in shortly after I started. I turned and found her staring at me with a measured expression. “Well?” “I’m sorry for acting like an idiot,” I said. “And?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. “Um…” I ran things through in my mind. “It is irresponsible and foolish of me to try and pretend I don’t have magic?” She appraised me for a moment more before lunging forward, wrapping her forelegs around me in a hug. “Good enough.” Now it was my turn to stiffen before relaxing and letting it happen. I hugged her back. I only had two, well, three if you counted that time Celestia hugged me, four if you counted Rainbow Dash ramming then pinning me, ponies from which to draw my conclusion, but they were nice to hug. “Thanks Twi.” “So,” she asked when the hug ended, and she moved us towards the table, “what changed your mind?” “Partially your mini-lecture,” I admitted, “but before that, what are you eating Spike?” I had just gotten a proper look at it, and it seemed like it was a pretty big glassy rock or something of the sort. “It’s a topaz,” he said easily. “My sapphires are still aging, so I had to make do with this.” “Dragons… eat gems? I thought that… never mind,” I said. I added that to the ‘Because Magic’ list of phenomena. “Anyway, I thought about your lecture, was honest to myself, had a bad dream and had Princess Luna turn up and slap some sense into me. Did you know she could Dream Walk?” “Princess Luna slapped you?” Twilight asked in shock. “No, she just talked some sense into me,” I laughed. “But did you?” “Of course. It is one of Princess Luna’s abilities, and duties as princess of the night,” Twilight said with a nod and a slightly learned tone. She sat down across from me. “There are two things I want from you before I accept your apology fully though.” “Um… okay?” I said, a bit crestfallen. “First; what do you plan to do from this point?” Twilight asked as her expression once again became grave and level. “I… I need help. Lessons, I suppose,” I sighed. I did say I was accepting that I had magic. “Luna suggested asking you.” “I know,” Twilight said smugly. I stared incredulously. “She sent a letter this morning.” The little minx. I held my hands out, admitting defeat. “Okay, you win that one. What’s the second one?” “Well,” Twilight looked at Spike, a twinkle in her eye. “You have to cook us breakfast.”