//------------------------------// // Our Addictions // Story: Children of Equestria // by Samey90 //------------------------------// Somepony knocked on the door. Diamond Tiara opened her eyes and looked at the door. “Come in…” she said in a raspy voice. The door opened and Filthy Rich entered her room. He looked around and sighed; the room looked just like it used to when Diamond Tiara was nine. Of course, he’d bought a bigger bed for her, but he’d never gotten rid of her toys, drawings, and other belongings. Diamond Tiara didn’t want to change that either. She had nothing new to put in her room and she didn’t want to see it empty. The very idea was making her shudder. She remembered her room in Trottingham, empty, with soft walls and without a knob in the door. Through the wall, she could hear Curtain Call’s – the real Curtain Call’s – screams. Sometimes, Curtain Call also talked in her head and then she could hear her voice twice. From time to time, the nurses were visiting her. Each of them was looking at her as if she was a wounded animal. Diamond Tiara knew why – she’d attacked at least two of them. She couldn’t recall their faces; ten years since the day Silver Spoon died in her arms in the middle of the scorched filly scouts camp was a continuous blur of events, voices, and faces. Diamond Tiara couldn’t tell what was real and what was only a product of her mind. Filthy Rich looked at his daughter who was now sitting in her bed, scratching her head. One of her hooves was covered in bandages. “Is everything okay, Diamond?” he asked. “Yes…” Diamond replied. “I’m just… My head hurts…” Filthy Rich shook his head, but soon he smiled. “I remember my first hangover…” he said. “Though I have to say that you were less drunk than I was back then… In fact you didn’t seem drunk at all when Apple Bloom brought you here…” “I wasn’t drinking much…” Diamond Tiara replied, trying to recall the details from the night before. “In fact, I’ve only had one cider…” “Well, it seems that Apple Bloom’s cousin rubs off on you…” Filthy Rich muttered, shaking his head. “I’ve heard you punched the mirror in the pub…” “Yeah…” Diamond Tiara shielded her eyes from the light. “Dad, I have to go to the doctor…” “Something’s wrong with your hoof?” Filthy Rich approached her. “The bandages look okay…” “No, dad…” Diamond Tiara sighed. “It’s… It’s my head again… I saw… something in the mirror. The voices…” Filthy Rich sat on the bed next to her and scratched his head. “Voices?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “B-but the doctors said you were healed…” “It never fully heals…” Diamond Tiara muttered. “I know that the voices aren’t real… I can tune them out, control that… But yesterday I was close to losing control… Who knows what’d happen then?” “I’ll go to the hospital,” Filthy Rich said. “You can stay here.” “Okay, dad…” Diamond Tiara lay back in her bed and sighed. “I swear, I’m not drinking again…” “Good to hear that.” Filthy Rich smiled. “By the way, how was the party?” “Great, actually,” Diamond Tiara replied. “Apart from that incident with the mirror… But I finally could talk to other ponies… I even joked with them! It’s like I have friends again.” “I’m so happy to hear that, Diamond…” Filthy Rich said, closing the door. “You don’t know how happy I am…” Just like the night before, Babs left her bedroom just after waking up. At first she couldn’t figure out why she didn’t hear the usual morning noises, but then she looked at the old clock in the hallway – it was barely 4 AM. Babs scratched her head. Part of her wanted to go back to bed and sleep for a few more hours. Then she remembered the nightmare that had awoken her and suddenly felt that her bed was the most unwelcoming place in Equestria. Babs had heard much about ponies who dreamed about traumatic events that had happened to them, but in her case it was never a literal flashback to that day at the mafia boss’ house. The nightmares were different every night. There was, however, one thing they all had in common – an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Before she’d woken up, Babs dreamed about being in the desert again. She was trapped in a quicksand; somepony was trying to help her out, but she couldn’t reach them. Her hooves couldn’t move; she tried to scream, but her mouth was full of sand. “Luna, why are ya doin’ this to me?” Babs muttered. She felt that her fur was drenched with sweat. Some leftovers of the cider from the day before wanted to get out of her system, so she decided to go to the bathroom. About twenty minutes later, she left the bathroom in a much better mood. Her mane was still wet after the shower, and a rush was chilling her to the bone, but she didn’t care. She trotted to the kitchen and looked for something to eat. Soon she was at the table, munching a toast with apple jam and sipping a cup of black coffee. “Now I only need a cancer stick and I’m good…” she muttered to herself. Too bad, it was impossible to find any. Nopony in the Apple family smoked. Babs didn’t smoke either – she’d stopped in the boot camp, since fifty bits for a smuggled cigarette was too much for her. The first year was terrible, then she got used to it. Babs could, of course, buy cigarettes – she was an adult and she doubted that Applejack or Big Macintosh would say something if they saw her smoking. She, however, didn’t – she was broke and she didn’t want to ask her family for money she knew she’d spend for cigarettes. Apple Bloom knew about her addiction – she even found a pack of some terrible, cherry-flavoured cigarettes at the bottom of her drawer. She’d bought them a few years before, smoked two, and decided that she’d rebel in a different way. After smoking a half, Babs could easily understand why. Babs chuckled – she thought that Applejack would be more concerned about the fact that the cigarettes were cherry-flavoured. “Babs?” She turned to look at the stairs. “Hello, Big Mac,” she said, seeing her cousin. He took a toast and sat at the table next to her. “Can’t sleep?” he asked. “Eeyup.” Babs smirked and took a sip of her coffee. “Y’all drink too much of it.” Big Macintosh pointed at her cup and sighed. “Remember that heart problems run in the family…” “I’ll keep that in mind,” Babs replied. “Workin’ already?” “Eeyup.” “I’ll help ya once I get back from Manehattan,” Babs said. “I won’t be there for long… I want to stay here with ya…” “Eeyup.” Big Macintosh took a large bite of his toast. “Sometimes I think that ya quietly laugh at all of us…” Babs shook her head. “Why would Ah do that?” Big Macintosh asked, smiling sheepishly. “It’s good ya want to start to work, Babs.” “Yeah…” Babs lowered her gaze. “If the camp taught me somethin’, it’s that hard work helps to forget… Have ya ever wanted to forget about somethin’, cousin?” “Eeyup,” Big Macintosh replied. Babs sighed. “Let me guess… The day ya heard I was arrested?” “Nope… That is…” Big Macintosh finished his toast and stood up. “Your uncle and aunt’s deaths… Granny’s death… When Apple Bloom got hurt… And when ya… When this guy…” He sighed and wrapped his hoof around Babs. Babs felt tears welling in her eyes. Part of her wanted to stay there, while the other part wanted to run as far as possible. Yet another part wanted to go to the orchard and buck the trees till she’d collapse. She drank the rest of her coffee watching Big Macintosh walking away to the orchard. Then she went back upstairs to pack her belongings. She didn’t want to be helpless again. But to achieve that, she had to do one more thing her cousins would rather forget about. For the first time in years, Diamond Tiara trotted through the town without fear. She didn’t care about her hoof. If somepony was whispering upon seeing her, she didn’t hear that. The headache passed and all she wanted to do was to go out and enjoy herself. She was just coming back from the hospital. The doctor said that it was probably some side effect of alcohol and her meds, and that she shouldn’t be worried, unless it’d happen again. Diamond Tiara didn’t worry. She looked at the ponies around and felt different. Free. Free not only from the small room on the third floor of the clinic of Trottingham, but also from everything else. She had no feelings towards other ponies, regardless of their gender. She didn’t crave alcohol, drugs or any other substance apart from her meds. For the last ten years her life depended of other ponies: doctors, nurses, all the hospital staff… Now, she was finally independent. Diamond Tiara sighed. Despite the doctor’s words, she could already hear the false notes in his voice. She knew what caused it. It wasn’t her illness, but rather the cure. Getting her out of the dark room with soft walls was one thing; getting that room out of her was a completely different thing. “It changed,” Silver Spoon said. “The town, I mean. Some ponies aren’t jerks anymore… Some are even bigger jerks than before…” “I guess that’s how life goes,” Diamond Tiara replied. “I don’t know; I spent more than half of it in a hospital.” “Don’t ask me about that.” Silver Spoon rubbed her temples. “I’m still a bit hung over, but if I recall correctly, I’m dead longer than I was alive…” Diamond Tiara sighed. “I’m so sorry, Silver Spoon…” “Don’t worry…” Silver Spoon approached her and Diamond Tiara almost felt her touch on her skin. “Also, you’re tired of apologising…” “How do you…? Ah, yes, you’re a part of my mind, right?” Silver Spoon appeared in front of Diamond, and took off her glasses. “That’s elementary, my dear Tiara. I’m a part of your mind and you can’t do anything about that…” For a moment, Diamond Tiara had an impression that Silver’s mane changed from its usual colour to orange. She blinked, but when she opened her eyes, Silver was nowhere to be found. Diamond raised her eyebrows. She’d gotten used to the sight of her friend and it felt weird not having her by her side. After a while, however, she shrugged it off and trotted home. Babs desperately waved her hooves, but it didn’t help. Something was pulling her deeper and deeper towards the bottom of the ocean. Her lungs were begging for air, but she knew that one breath would kill her almost immediately. The pressure of water was slowly crushing her, cracking her ribs. She thrashed, but it only made a terrible pain in her hooves worse. Finally, she opened her mouth, salty water filling her lungs immediately… “No!” Babs screamed, waking up. She realised that she’d fallen asleep on a train, while listening to the monotonous sound of wheels. Some mare was looking at her unsurely. “What d’ya want?” Babs barked. “You were screaming in your sleep,” the mare replied. She had an orange mane and a carrot as her cutie mark. “I wanted to wake you up…” “Don’t worry, I woke up myself just fine,” Babs muttered. “I don’t need your help.” “Are you sure?” the mare asked. “Yes, I’m fu– I mean, I’m sure,” Babs said. “I just had a nightmare, not a big deal…” “I had nightmares too,” the mare said. “After my daughter died in a fire… She’d be more or less your age now…” “Excuse me, but I have enough of my own problems.” Babs sighed and turned to the window. “I don’t wanna talk, okay?” “It’s still hard for me…” the mare said, as if she didn’t hear Babs. “Her killer is free again…” Babs groaned. “She was killed by Diamond Tiara, right?” she asked. “Then keep in mind that Diamond is my friend. She’s sorry for what she did and she’d definitely feel better if ya all forgave her. Now I’d prefer to get to Manehattan undisturbed.” She turned to the mare, but saw that she’d walked away. “Fuckin’ small towns…” she muttered to herself. “If I threw a stone anywhere in Ponyville, I’d probably hit someone whose friend or kid Diamond killed… While I don’t even know the names of most of my victims.” She lay on two seats and fell into a shallow slumber again. This time she had no nightmares. A few hours later, the sound of screeching brakes woke her up and the conductor told her that they were in Manehattan. Babs got out of the carriage and looked at the railway station. It didn’t change much. Some of the benches were more damaged and darker that she’d remembered them, there was some new graffiti on the walls, and she recognised some new faces among the homeless ponies, but the building itself remained the same. Even when she went to the toilet, she found an old scribbling on the wall of the stall, claiming that Babs and Hedgehog had sex there four years before, with a detailed list of things they did to each other. Wonder what that son of a bitch is doin’… Babs thought. Hmm, maybe I should introduce him to Sweetie Belle? She’d probably need a bassist… On a second thought, she decided against that. Hedgehog’s bass skills were only a bit better than his sex skills. He’d probably just have a short affair with Sweetie which would end with him running away with as much of her money as he could carry. The paparazzi would get crazy. Babs left the railway station and stood in the middle of the pavement, inhaling deeply and watching the buildings, the ponies, and the orange afternoon sky above the town. “Hello, Manehattan…” she said aloud. “Missed me?”