//------------------------------//
// Breakfast 
// Story: The Life and Times of a Reformed Draconequus 
// by Inkscape 
//------------------------------//

Discord yawned, stretching his limbs wide. He was an interesting creature to behold, a draconequus. His body was a mismatch of parts from various creatures: the head of a pony, topped with both the horn of a goat and an antler of a deer. His mismatched eyes were accented by two bushy, white eyebrows. A mischievous grin was plastered upon his face, nearly perpetually. A large, misplaced tooth jutted from his smile. He had a an elongated neck, resembling that of a grey horse, with  a short, black mane. One arm was that of a lion paw, the other an eagle claw.  Attached to his long body was a pair of wings, one of a blue pegasus, and one  navy bat wing. Discord sprouted a leg of a goat and one of a lizard. His tail was that of a dragon, a deep red and topped with a white puff of fur.
        Discord rolled himself out of the hammock he had conjured between two trees the night before. He snapped his fingers, and the hammock disappeared. He cracked his back and looked around. It seemed as though he had settled down in the Everfree Forest last night. One might think the draconequus to be insane to sleep in the wild forest, but the spirit of disharmony had some of the most powerful magic in Equestria and was perfectly safe, though that’s not to say that he was sane either. 
        “Ah, what an invigorating night’s sleep,” Discord said to nopony in particular. “Now, for breakfast.” He supposed he could magically conjure up a huge breakfast for himself, but where was the fun in that? As much as he was hungry for food, he was equally, if not more,  for some chaos. “Of course, I can’t do anything too dramatic. I would hate to upset poor Fluttershy.” Fluttershy had been the first friend he had ever made, and the meek little mare held a special place in his heart. He would do anything for Fluttershy. Of course, what Fluttershy didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. Discord rapped his mismatched fingers together at the thought.
        With a snap of his fingers, he was in Ponyville’s main square, where several stalls were set up for the morning market rush. He was greeted by gasps of passing ponies at his sudden appearance. An orange mare with a green mane and tail, who had been standing particularly close, fainted in a rather overly-dramatic fashion. He caught the fainting pony in the crook of his arm, only to have her faint again, when she awoke to the face of not Discord, but of a green viper  staring back at her. 
        “Careful not to sssslip.” The snake-faced Discord hissed at her. He changed his face back to normal, when he realized that the mare wasn’t coming back around anytime soon. He dropped her unceremoniously onto the dirt path. 
        By this time, ponies were giving him mixed glares of shock and anger. The draconequus smiled innocently in return. “What? I was just telling her to be careful. Just being a good citizen and asset to Equestrian society.” The ponies didn’t seem to buy it, as they turned their attention back to their morning chores. 
        Discord browsed the stalls of the ponyfolk. Most of the shopkeepers regarded him suspiciously, as he gave them too large of grins to be socially acceptable. Though there were many stalls in the market, nothing tickled his fancy, as far as food went. 
“Well, this won’t do at all.” He commented, examining the celery stall. 
The stallion behind the counter narrowed his eyes and frowned, suddenly jumping as Discord appeared behind him, draping his lion’s paw about his neck. 
“Now, don’t be so sour, dear sir.  But really, who wants to eat celery in the morning? Nopony, that’s who.” 
The stallion’s frown deepened.
“Come on and turn that frown upside-down.” And with a snap of his claws, the stallion’s face was suddenly upside-down, literally! 
The pony felt about his face with his hooves frantically. “Ugh! Change it back! Change it back!”
        Discord stood back, an artist’s beret atop of his head, rubbing his chin with a paw, an artist examining his work. “No, I think you look much better this way. Toodles!” He waved to the stallion, walking away, enjoying the moment of genuine panic for a few moments longer, before changing the poor creature’s face back to normal.
        “Hmm, all of this searching has left me rather parched.” With a snap of his claws, he turned a cloud above him into what appeared to be a sticky, pink cotton candy cloud that rained chocolate milk. It was no coincidence that the cloud changed into a sticky mass just moments before a working Rainbow Dash on cloud clearing duty came barreling into it. She was promptly stuck. Her entire frame was engulfed in the cloud, save for her head and hooves. 
        “Hey Discord! What’s the big idea?!” The rainbow pegasus challenged, as she struggled in the pink mess. 
        “What? I was thirsty.” He conjured a glass in his claws and took a sip. “Ah, refreshing. Want some?”
        “As if! Now get me out of here!”
        Discord floated up to the cyan pony. He pinched her snout with disapproval. “Ah, ah! That’s not how we speak to friends, now is it, Rainbow Dash?”
She glared at him and growled. 
“I don’t know why you don’t just eat yourself out!” Piped a voice from the ground. Of course, it could only be Pinkie Pie, who was hopping around in delight, while wearing the oddest piece of headgear Rainbow Dash had ever seen.
“Hey Pinkie, what’s with the hat?”
        “Oh! It’s my chocolate milk drinking hat! It’s a bowl on the top, so I can catch the chocolate milk rain, and it has this straw, so I can drink it!” She paused to put her mouth around the straw and drink a number of large gulps from the bowl atop her head, until she was sucking it dry with loud slurping noises.
        “And you just had this laying around your house?” Rainbow Dash raised a brow.
        Now that was a pony that could appreciate a good joke, thought Discord. In a flash, he teleported next to Pinkie Pie, who was still noisily slurping on her bowl hat. “Pinkie Pie, you are quite the fan of my work. Something a true friend would do, be supportive of my creative endeavors.” He gave Rainbow Dash an accusing glare.
        A hoof was suddenly poking him in the chest. “Don’t go getting any ideas, mister.” Scolded the pink mare. “I’m only a fan of chaos when, and only when, it involves chocolate rain!”
        Discord sighed, “Fine. Well, I suppose neither of you ponies want to help me with my little dilemma then."
        “Well, maybe if you didn’t trap ponies in clouds of cotton candy, they’d be more willing to help you.” Grumbled Rainbow Dash. 
        Pinkie Pie gasped in her usual dramatic fashion. “You’re in a dilemma! Oh my gosh! What is it? What is it?!” She shook the draconequus harshly by his shoulders.
He took a big step backwards, letting the pink mare faceplant into the earth. She jumped back up like nothing happened. “Well, it just so happens that I am in great need of substinance. It is almost nine o’clock, and I haven’t had even a morsel.” He collapsed into a dramatic heap, turning pale.
“You’re hungry?! That’s your big emergency?” Rainbow Dash shouted, but Discord ignored it.
“Pinkie Pie… help me?” He asked feebly, melting into a puddle.
“Oh, would I ever!” Pinkie Pie bounced around the Discord puddle cheerfully. “I work at the Cakes’ bake shop, Sugarcube Corner. You’ve heard of Sugarcube Corner, haven’t you? Why am I asking? Of course you have! I mean, Sugarcube Corner makes cakes and sweets and candy, and anypony who’s anypony knows where to buy cakes, sweets and candy! I mean, you would have to be a nopony not to know…”
Discord exchanged a glance with Rainbow Dash, both of them wearing similar expressions. “Well Pinkie Pie,” he said, pinching her snout shut, while she continued to mumble wordlessly between his talons, “as fascinating as that sounds, I have some prior engagements. He snapped his claws, and the draconequus was gone.
“Hey! I’m still stuck here!” Rainbow Dash called after him.
 “... and I make lots and lots of things at the bakery. I make cakes, pies - all kinds of pies: apple, cherry, chocolate, lemon, rhubarb…”

Applejack was, as usual, already busy bucking apples down at Sweet Apple Acres. Approaching another tree, she turned and bucked it.
“Ouch! How rude!”
She rounded on “tree.” A scowl crossed her features. Where there ought to be an apple tree, was Discord in tree form. A face with mismatched eyes, an out of place tooth, bushy eyebrows and a goat’s beard stared back at her from the truck. She kept a straight face. Celestia help her, if she was going to let him know how much he startled her. 
“You really shouldn’t kick ponies, Applejack. It’s simply rude. I know you country types are often short in the manners department -”
“Excuse me?!”
“- but any well brought up pony knows that violence is never acceptable.”
Letting out a snort of annoyance, Applejack tried to calm herself down. Don’t let him get to ya. He’s reformed after all...Though that doesn’t mean he’s not annoying to the pits of Tartarus and back - twice. “Alright Discord, what are you doing on my farm?”
Discord shrank, taking on his natural form once more. He placed his lion’s paw over his heart, seemingly hurt. “What? Can’t a friend drop in for a visit with another friend?”
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “You never show up here, unless you’re either causing trouble, or asking for something.”
Discord met her gaze. “Hmm, well played, Applejack. To be honest, I’ve been looking for something to eat for breakfast.”
“Well, go help yourself to an apple.” She gestured moodily to a nearby tree with a hoof.
“What? No apple pancakes, no fritters, no pies?”
“Nope. Beggars can’t be choosers, and we already finished breakfast three hours ago.”
“Fine.” Suddenly Discord took the form of a vampire fruit bat which, much to his delight, appeared to frighten the mare. He made a mental note of it for future reference. He flew and perched on a tree, sinking his fangs into an apple and sucking it dry. He spit the seeds onto the ground, which may or may not have hit Applejack in the face on accident. She gave him a cross look. “Okay, okay, I’m going.”
He vanished.
“I heard ‘em! I heard the sound of a feeding vampire fruit bat!” Granny Smith emerged from the house, brandishing a cast iron skillet, as if it were a baseball bat.
“It’s nothing, Granny.  Just Discord.”

Twilight screamed, as the draconequus suddenly appeared in her living room with a blinding flash. “Discord!”
He popped up next to the alicorn, too close for her liking. “Happy to see me, friend?”
“Um, sure,” she said, taking a delicate step back. “But what brings you here on, erm,  such short notice?”
“Well, I was in the neighborhood, when I thought that I should visit my dear friend, Twilight Sparkle. Then I got to thinking that it would be a stupendous idea that we should have breakfast together! What do you say, hmm?” He leaned forward, batting suddenly long lashes at her.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to pass today, Discord. I am very busy with this new assignment Celestia gave me last week, but I would love to have breakfast sometime in.. the…. future…?” She looked to where he was standing, but he was already gone. She shrugged and pressed her snout back into her book.
“What was all that about? Were you talking to someone, Twilight?” Spike asked, exiting the kitchen, his claws full with a large platter of pancakes.
“Oh, it was just Discord, wanting to have some breakfast - Spike, why did you make pancakes? We already had breakfast, remember.”
The small dragon shrugged. “I’m hungry. I’m going through a growth spurt.”

Celestia was taking a sip of her tea with mid-morning brunch. Luna sat across the small table from her, eyeing the quiche. Celestia smiled, using her magic to pass Luna a napkin. “You’re drooling, my sister.”
Luna took it hastily and wiped the wetness from her muzzle. “Thank you.” She glanced around to make sure nopony had seen. 
They were on the balcony of their shared lounge. Brunch was set up with the finest dishes in Canterlot, white adorned with gold trim and a depiction of the sun and moon in the center of every dish and at the base of every teacup. The brunch menu was comprised of quiche, fruit salad, and an assortment of pastries. The small round table was set up for three. Neither princess would eat until the last seat was filled. 
“Celestia, he’s late again. Can’t we start without him?”
The sun princess shook her head. “No, that would be very rude to our guest.”
“In case you have forgotten, sister, this ‘guest’ almost destroyed Equestria - twice!”
“Oh, did I hear you talking about little ol’ me?” The princesses looked up to see the draconequus floating down from the sky with an umbrella, while wearing a tophat. Upon landing, he removed his hat and bowed dramatically. Turning to Luna, he pinched her cheeks like a doting aunt. “You ought to remember your manners, dear Luna.”
Luna gave him a bitter glare through narrowed eyes, as he took a seat between her and Celestia. She rubbed her sore cheek with a hoof.
“Discord,” Celestia greeted warmly. “So glad you could make it.”
“Why of course, Celestia. I wouldn’t miss brunch for the world!”
“Though you were a little late this morning.” Luna noted. “What kept you, Discord?”
“Oh, the usual.”