//------------------------------// // A Lonely Mare. // Story: To Change This Lonely Life // by Twi-Fi //------------------------------// By the time the sun had come up, the weather had slightly improved. At least it had stopped raining but the dark clouds and the gloom were still present. Scootaloo had awoken early that morning to open her shop, knowing Apple Bloom would be there at the break of day. Even in the twilight, Scootaloo could see a golden colored mare patiently waiting for her to arrive. "Oh Scootaloo, good you're here." Carrot Top said with relief. She returned a smile to the mare. How early does she get up? "Morning Carrot Top. Your cart is ready to go." "Okay, that's great news. You won't believe how many carrots I’ve got to deliver this month..." She seemed to be talking more to herself than anyone else. The garage door squeaked open (as usual) and revealed Carrot Top's cart, still parked over the lift. “It was great working on this. You don't see too many of these around," Scootaloo said, taking the harness around her neck and loosely fastening the straps. "I'm going to back it out to you." "Oh, okay dear. Thank you." Scootaloo pushed the cart back with little effort. That's certainly an improvement. As the cart left the shop, she turned it so the cart would be facing away from the shop, ready for Carrot Top to simply pull the cart away with ease. As Scootaloo turned around, she came face to face with a grinning Apple Bloom. "Good morning boss. Sorry Ah didn't know what time to be here...or I would have been here earlier." "Oh, there's two of you now. Isn't that... sweet." Carrot Top said, eyeing Apple Bloom suspiciously. "Would one of you lovely mares like to take a look at my plough, it's having a little trouble." "Sure, one of us can come by a little later and have a look." Scootaloo responded. "Perfect." Carrot Top said as Scootaloo removed the harness and let it fall to the ground. "So, I think you'll notice a huge improvement. A couple of the bearings were pretty bad and close to going out, but they have been repacked and the bad one has been replaced." "So I owe you eighty bits?" She asked, opening her saddlebag to extract a bag of money. "Yes, eighty bits it the total. If there's anything wrong just let me know." Scootaloo said accepting the small bag of money. "Oh I don't think there's going to be anything wrong with it. You always do good work." Carrot Top waved a hoof through the air, dismissing any concerns there may have been. "I put a few extra bits in there as a tip for you dear. Well, anyways I'll see one of you two a little later on. Thanks so much." Carrot Top donned the harness and pulled the cart down the street. Scootaloo dumped the coins on her workbench. She counted five extra bits, which she pushed over to the side. "These are for you." "Me? Ah haven't done anything yet." "You repacked the last wheel bearing and I have extra money. So here you go." Apple Bloom put her hooves on the five bits and pushed them back to Scootaloo. "Ah was only helping you yesterday. You said Ah start today. It's only five bits, and besides you earned a good tip." Scootaloo opened her mouth to argue but Apple Bloom put a hoof over her muzzle. "Ah ain't taking it." Scootaloo shuttered slightly from the contact of Apple Bloom, even if it was only her hoof. Her touch still felt soft and gentle. "Okay, okay... like you say it's only five bits." Scootaloo hastily pushed the bits back into the pile. "Let me show you the safe." Scootaloo said, opening a cabinet next to the workbench to reveal a small safe. She slowly started putting the combination in, calling out the numbers so Apple Bloom could hear. "Are you sure you want me to have the combo?" "Yeah, I trust you. Besides, only two ponies have the combo now, and I know where you live..." Scootaloo smiled at Apple Bloom. "True, true. So why was Carrot Top lookin' at me so strangely back there?" Scootaloo sighed. Looking away from Apple Bloom, she placed the money in the safe. She had a theory... a theory based on a very old rumor. Who started that rumor anyways, and why is it still known? I realize this town has nothing better to do than gossip but seriously... come on. "I don't know Apple Bloom. It was strange wasn't it?" Scootaloo slammed the safe shut then closed the cabinet. Apple Bloom looked at Scootaloo closely: she could almost feel the pegasus was holding something back. It seemed like she knew more than she was letting on but Apple Bloom didn't press the question any further. "It sure was. Anyway, what's the first order of business today, boss?" Scootaloo looked around her shop but there wasn't much to do, yet... her eyes landed on the broken cart Apple Bloom hauled in the previous day. "Well, Carrot Top needs that plough fixed and there's this cart that you brought in." "Ooh, can Ah go fix her plough? Ah'm good at working on them. Ah fix them all the time for AJ and Mac." Apple Bloom asked with enthusiasm, bouncing around the shop. "Sure." Scootaloo laughed a little. Apple Bloom was acting like a foal in the candy aisle. "I'll start taking this piece of junk apart and see what can be salvaged." "Ah'll be back lickity split, then we can destroy it together!" Apple Bloom stuffed an assortment of tools into her saddlebags then bounced out the door grinning. Scootaloo waited until the farm mare was out of sight before letting out a long sigh. Come on Scoots... get it together. She figured the only way to distract herself from her troubling feelings was hard work. Scootaloo selected the tools she would need to salvage the cart: a couple of wrenches, a screwdriver and a large hammer. But even as she collected everything she would need, she knew it wasn't enough to distract her. It still clung to her mind. With each bolt she undid, each pin pulled, each part removed, Scootaloo felt as if the very pieces of her life were being removed. Like the moving parts of a machine, they were made up of smaller parts, fitting perfectly and working together. But once a certain piece was removed, the machine would cease to function. Scootaloo's life had been similar in many ways: she had put her life together like a machine. Each aspect of her life was crafted and fit together carefully, or so she believed. She just couldn't ignore the fact that the engine running her life was missing a major component. With each piece laid out in front of her, Scootaloo could see how everything fit together. But it had not offered her the insight she had hoped for. Instead, she only saw everyday, ordinary parts— parts that needed to be put somewhere, somehow. Then Scootaloo understood. It was so simple. The cart was already broken: there was no meaning in it to be found. It was just junk, no deeper meaning than that. My life isn't broken like this cart here. It's not twisted and contorted like the frame of this cart. And yet she still couldn't find the reason for the pain in her chest she felt every night. She still couldn't explain why that pain seemed to vanish when Apple Bloom was around. She knew why her heart raced when she was around but Scootaloo didn't want to think about that. Too late, I'm back to thinking about her. A few minutes later Apple Bloom returned to the shop looking pleased with herself. She pranced in, smiling brightly. "Ah did, it! Yee haw! Fixen’ some things and making some bits!" Scootaloo blushed at the sight of Apple Bloom. "So, everything went well?" "It did. Ah fixed the plough. And she might have more work for us later. More sprinklers to install if she buys up that extra land." Scootaloo groaned loudly. She hated sprinklers more than anything. They were extremely tricky to set up correctly, wire and then program. And if there were ever a problem with the wiring later, tracing out the wiring was painful– especially on the older systems that were done haphazardly. "What?" "I hate sprinklers." "Oh. But Carrot Top said you did a really good job putting the other ones in. Ah didn't know you didn't want to do that." "It's fine." "We can work on it together." Scootaloo's heart pounded furiously. The idea of working side by side with her deep in a trench excited her for some reason. "I'd like that, we could get it done faster and it would be some good pay for the winter." "Winter? Ah think she wants to do this soon. Besides Ah'm not going to work for you in the winter." "I know I said the season but I think I can keep you around full time." "Ah can't. I got, um, other things planned for the winter." Apple Bloom said nervously. Like her sister, Apple Bloom was a terrible liar. "What other things do you have planned for the winter?" "It's um..." Apple Bloom looked at her hooves for a second. "It's renovating the barn with Applejack and Mac." Scootaloo nodded, "Ah, I see." It may have been believable if she hadn't paused for too long. "You know you are bad at lying, right?" Apple Bloom's face went red. "Look it ain't none of your business. Okay?" "Fine, whatever." Scootaloo shot back, pinning her ears. If that's the way she wants to be about it... Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, her frustration getting the better of her. "Look, if I'm going to work with you this season, then let's get a few things straight! What I do or plan to do is none of anyone's business, if it concerned you then Ah'd tell you. Also, if you ever plan to keep this business afloat you need to charge more." Apple Bloom tossed a few coins on the floor. "Ten bits for one hour of my time! You can't even buy a wrench for that." "Yes, let's!" Scootaloo shouted back, her face red as she tried to keep herself level. "No one tells me how to run this shop! No one tells me how much to charge! You sound like Rainbow, always telling me I'm never going to make a living... but I do just fine, thank you! If you don't like it then there's the door!" She help up a shaking foreleg, pointing to the front door. "Then Ah guess this was just a big mistake!" Apple Bloom shouted back. She stomped to the front door then turned to speak again. "You know... Ah thought Ah could help you, be your friend again but you push me away like you push Rainbow Dash away. If you don't want my help, well that's fine with me." Apple Bloom's glared at Scootaloo. "So Rainbow Dash did ask you to come in here and help? Or did she and Applejack just talk about it around you, hoping you would overhear and run to my rescue?" "Scootaloo..." Apple Bloom trailed off as her eyes filled with tears. "What?" Scootaloo asked harshly. "Never mind. Enjoy your miserable life." Apple Bloom said coldly then cantered off, letting the tears flow. She stood there fuming, staring at the spot Apple Bloom was moments ago. Miserable? She's the one that's miserable... Scootaloo chucked a wrench across the room. It struck the wall, chipping some of the paint and plaster. What's wrong with me? Why am I like this? She didn't deserve that... Rainbow Dash walked in, her head low and her expression... sad. "You!" Scootaloo shouted at the sight of the cyan pegasus. "Calm down kid. It's time I explained..." Rainbow Dash trailed off. She scrunched her shoulders, preparing to duck incase a wrench came flying her way. "Explain how you have to interfere with my life because yours is boring now?" "Easy now. Yes, my life isn't as action packed anymore but that's okay. Just take it easy, I know you are mad at me but not nearly as mad as you should be." Rainbow Dash, took a seat on the floor, getting as close as she dared to Scootaloo. "Look, I messed up big time." "With tricking Apple Bloom into working here?" "That actually wasn't part of the plan. We didn't mean for her to overhear that." "Oh." Scootaloo bowed her head feeling sheepish. "Well, I'm listening." "Once there was a filly that loved to ride her scooter. She saw the world around her with wonders. Every obstacle in her path she'd jump over. And if that obstacle would knock her over, she'd get right back up and do it again. Then to mock it she would do tricks over these obstacles with a smile on her face. She overcame every obstacle except one. The thing she wanted most... "What happened to that filly? Why does she live alone, in a little apartment? Why does she run a shop and fix things all over town yet barely charges enough to make a living wage? Why does she punish herself so much?" Rainbow Dash paused but Scootaloo remained expressionless. "Remember when you went to the doctor's office before high school to find out about your wings? You were so nervous, I went with you, held your hoof the whole way." Rainbow Dash wiped a tear from her face. "After... oh Scootaloo, I was so torn up inside. But you just shrugged it off and went on your way. I knew that you were trying to be tough, but you must have been devastated. I followed you, watched you go home, get your scooter and ride to the clubhouse to be alone. I never, in my life, cried so hard." She wiped another tear from her eyes with a foreleg. She could see Scootaloo had tears in her eyes too but she didn't go to her. "Then through high school you seemed to have done well, especially after getting your cutie mark. Then after graduation, Sweetie Belle left for her vocal school in Los Pegasus and you and Apple Bloom drifted apart. She worked on the farm and you… you left to run your mechanic shop. "I was proud of you for making your way out in the world. So proud. It can be scary for a young pony out there but you charged into running this shop, and you did it so well. Again, you overcame every obstacle and got this thing up and running. It seemed your life was really turning out to be something good, you were happy... or I thought you were. But over time I noticed that behind each smile was a sad little filly, all alone in this big world. That's when I realized it: you're lonely... so, so lonely. "You've been alone so long that you don't even know it, but I'm sure you can feel it. I've felt it many times." Rainbow Dash took a slow breath then exhaled, moving closer to Scootaloo as she did. "You don't even realize how much of a rut your life is in, you charge so little because you don't feel like you are worth anything." She wrapped a wing around Scootaloo. She pulled her into a tight embrace. "I messed up badly, so horribly. I was a terrible role model. More concerned with myself, I was so self centered. All the times I cancelled or rescheduled a visit with you to hang out with the Wonderbolts. And after Sweetie Belle left and you were all alone, you needed me more than anything but where was I? Trying out for the Wonderbolts... it was my last try and I got in. I actually got in." "Wait, you got into the Wonderbolts?" Scootaloo spoke for the first time, looking at Rainbow Dash with a confused look. "I did, I finally made it. But I turned it down a little while later –" "You turned it down? Why? Rainbow, that's been your dream for like ever." "I thought it was but as I celebrated I realized something. I realized what was really important to me. I didn't need to be a Wonderbolt, I have saved the world a few times and been on some crazy adventures, all with the ponies I love more than anything. I realized that you needed me, and I should be with you, not flying around performing tricks. I turned it down for you Scoots, because I love you. “Except I was too late. You were in pain, you were lonely. I couldn't get close to you anymore. You were so guarded. I couldn't tell you what I wanted to tell you because I feared losing you completely." Rainbow Dash took a rattling breath, her body shaking a little. "Of course at this point I was in over my head. You needed help and didn't know how... I asked Applejack for some guidance and she came up with the idea of just spending more time with you, doing the simple things. I can't believe I didn't think of it. She arranged to have a get together, for just her, Apple Bloom and me. Part of that conversation was overheard and Apple Bloom took matters in her own hooves, thinking your business needed serious help. Then I had to upset you by telling you how to run your business." She paused, tightening her grip on Scootaloo. She could see she was weeping softly. "I wish there was a way to say how sorry I truly am. I've been a horrible sister to you. I don't deserve you." Scootaloo sniffled, looking Rainbow Dash in the eyes. "You're the best big sister I could ask for." Scootaloo wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow Dash's neck, hugging her tightly. She buried her face into Rainbow Dash's mane, bawling. She shuddered as Rainbow Dash messaged her back. "I-I'm s-s-so sorry Rainbow. I know you w-w-ere trying to h-h-help me b-but I–" "Shhh, it's okay... it's okay. You've kept things bottled up in in there for too long." Rainbow Dash continued to hold Scootaloo as she cried into her mane, soaking it completely. "This, this is all I wanted to do... just hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay." She held her tightly, rocking side to side. Scootaloo took solace in being held. It felt as if she found something that had been missing for so long, so long that she almost forgot what it was. With some effort she pulled herself together and released her grip from Rainbow Dash. "I'm sorry Rainbow. I know I said some hurtful things. I always felt bad after, then the next time I'd see you, you would be happy to see me and I’d be happy you were happy..." She trailed off for a second. "Did that make any sense?" Rainbow Dash nodded with a chuckle. "I never got to say sorry for all those times, for not seeing the bigger picture. You're right, I am lonely. I tried to convince myself that wasn't the issue, that I didn't need anyone... now the only friend I had is gone." "You don't have to apologize to me. You never have to apologize to me. It’s I who should apologize to you. I love you, little sister." Rainbow Dash hugged Scootaloo again. "Apple Bloom was just upset with you, but if you ask me I think she likes you a lot." "Come on Rainbow... she was pretty mad at me. I don't think she wants to see me anymore." "She cares. She dropped everything on the farm in the busiest time of year to help you. She's mad because you can't see how much she cares. She's hurt because you push her away, because you keep her somewhere between friend and lover." "Wh-what should I do? She doesn't want to see me." "Do you love her?" "What? Come on Rainbow, that's a silly high school rumor." "Yes it was. I remember the day you told me about it. You were so annoyed, a little too annoyed if you ask me." Rainbow Dash smirked at Scootaloo's rosy cheeks. "But I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about the way you light up when she walks in the room, the way you look at her, flirt with her. They way you stare at her when you think no one is looking." "I– I don't –" "Yes, you do." Rainbow Dash cut her off. "Last year at her birthday party. A few months later at your birthday party and all of the rare times you two saw each other. But it's a simple question, Scoots, do you love her?" Wow, I had no idea she paid that much attention. Do I love her? The way Apple Bloom made her feel, that spark she felt, like she could walk on air. No one had ever made her feel that way, ever. But do I love her? Why is this such a hard question to answer? But a voice in the back of her head was telling her the answer, the answer she knew all along. She looked Rainbow Dash in the eyes and gulped loudly. "Yes." "Then go to her."