House Arrest

by King X2

Hour Four: The Descent

The dryer door opened and Vinyl saw light flow into the dryer and through the stitches of the thin fabric. This was the end. She, the great Vinyl Scratch, had just been cornered, like a defenseless little mouse in the wake of a clowder of cats. Her heart was pounding in her ears, sounding as though it was trying to explode out of her chest. Either she was going to be thrown in jail or die of a heart attack tonight. Honestly, she would have gone with the latter.
“Well, well, well,” said the voice of Cloud Scraper. “Boss, come take a look at this!”
Vinyl gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, waiting for them to yank her out by the rear ankles. The sound of a heavy set of hooves came down the stairs and across the concrete floor.
“Celestia this place is a mess. What is it—”
The boss guard gasped in his actually-not-so-horrible gasp. “Is that…tissue taffeta?” Vinyl felt him yank one of the damp dresses out of the dryer.
“I couldn’t believe it either, sir,” said Cloud Scraper, who sounded legitimately astounded.
“Wait…what?” thought Vinyl, still trying to process what was transpiring at the moment. Were they talking about Octavia’s dress?
“You never machine wash tissue taffeta! Let alone dry it!” exclaimed the boss. He ran his hooves over the fabric, which was only slightly damaged, but essentially ruined. “I can’t believe it wasn’t shredded to pieces!”
“Just look at the quality,” said Cloud Scraper. “This is the kind of stuff bridal gowns are made out of. My wife would have killed me if I tried to machine wash such a fabric.”
“Likewise.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”
“Two Ton!” shouted the boss suddenly, making Vinyl jump, nearly giving away her hiding spot for a second time.
A heavy canter came from the floor above. It sounded like anvils were being repeatedly dropped on the ground.
“Boss?” said a slow voice.
“Who did you say resides here with Miss Scratch?”
“Why Octavia the cellist of course,” said Two-Ton as he descended the stairs to join the commotion. His voice was slow, but dignified, almost like a butler. If Vinyl wasn’t so fearful for her life, she would have been fascinated. Never in her life had she heard the Canterlot guards speak more than two words.
“Well if I’m not mistaken, these belong to her,” said the boss, who was still running the fabric over in his hooves gently. “A bit too classical for a disc jockey.”
“Being so careless with this kind of fabric is a crime in itself,” said Cloud Scraper. The boss nodded in agreement.
Vinyl’s insides writhed with guilt. Because she was busy getting ready for the evening, Octavia had actually asked Vinyl to take her dresses into the dry cleaners earlier the same day. Because Octavia needed one of the dresses tomorrow for a formal party, and the fact the dry cleaners were closed on Saturday, Vinyl had thrown the dresses in the washing machine in haste while Octavia was out in town. Vinyl had been so caught up in her own plans for the evening, she had completely forgot. How could she be so stupid?
“Um, sir?” said Dimbus, speaking up. “I don’t mean to interrupt ya, but our mission…?”
The boss stopped lamenting at once.
“Oh,” he said, clearing his throat loudly. “Yes—” He closed the dryer door, making Vinyl’s heart leap hopefully.
“STATUS REPORT!” he boomed, making even the other guards jump. Vinyl could hear the cantering of hooves from all over the house. Within a minute, every single one of the eight, metal plated Canterlot guards were compiled in the basement.
“Upstairs?” said the boss loudly.
“All clear, unfortunately, sir,” said a guard.
“Ground level?”
“Nothing, boss,” said another.
“Closets?”
“Clear as well sir!” said Two-Ton.
The boss turned dangerously toward Cloud Scraper and Dimbus. They gulped in unison.
“And the basement?” he said, squinting his eyes.
They hesitated. Dimbus elbowed Cloud Scraper.
“You’re the second in command, you tell ‘im,” he muttered. Cloud Scraper rolled his eyes.
“Lucky me,” he said sarcastically.
Every guard was a statue, just waiting for the boss to explode in fury. Vinyl was silently laughing to herself, amused by her final good turn of luck.
Cloud Scraper sighed. “All clear, sir,” he mumbled finally, not looking the boss in the eye.
A silence, and then…
THUD went the heavy sound of wood against armor. Immediately after, Vinyl heard a large body fall to the floor. A pin drop could have been heard.
“Let Cloud Scraper’s example be a lesson to you lot,” growled the boss. “We—don’t—fail—ever! Do you know what I have to report to the higher-ups now? The criminal has outsmarted us! A mere unicorn! I WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OF!”
Vinyl heard a loud clang of metal. Somepony had just been thrown into the washer beside her.
“Understood?” he hissed.
“Understood!” the remaining guards shouted.
“Two-Ton!” shouted the boss at the vast guard, who raised his head intelligently.
“Sir.”
“You’re second in command now. Arrest the other pony.”
Two Ton’s eyes flickered in confusion.
“But sir, we can’t arrest Miss Octavia. She’s committed no—”
“Crimes?” said the boss, who held up the ruined dress dramatically, his voice higher than normal again. “I hail from a family of tailors, sailors and blacksmiths. A ruined product is as good as a ruined soul. As my former second in command said, it is a crime.
WHAT?! Screamed Vinyl in her mind. They wouldn’t dare…
Two Ton acted as though he was going to argue, but nodded in agreement. “Right.”
“SECURE THE PERIMETER!” boomed the boss. The guards all scrambled up the basement stairs, flashlights waving about. As they left, the boss picked up the dress one last time and thrust it back in the dryer.”
“Cellist…tch, useless mule,” he spat in disgust.
“Tavi…a use…useless…WHAT DID HE SAY?”
And at that, Vinyl had finally reached her breaking point. Glass shattered inside her mind, the pieces cutting through her dendrites and sending a shockwave throughout her body. All of it—the denial, the anger, the sadness, the guilt, the fear—had boiled over the kettle. Nopony, not even Vinyl herself had ever uttered such an insult to her friend. On her worst days, she had said some pretty hurtful things. But this…this transcended.
Whether it had been because of Vinyl’s extreme anger, or just a matter of coincidence, a sharp bink and the surge of power sounded from above, shedding light once more into the house. The boss looked up and smiled.
“Oh would you look at that—”
KABOOM!
The dryer door exploded off its hinges as Vinyl shot out of it like a bullet. The boss, a squat and stocky pegasus in silver armor, wasn’t even quick enough to react.
“SECURE THIS!”
Vinyl had punched the boss guard so hard, he soared up the flight of stairs and crashed into the opposing wall of the main room. Vinyl rocketed up the steps after him, finding herself face to face with every single one of the remaining six guards. Like the boss, they had all frozen in their tracks.
“G-GET HER!” roared the boss, who was lying in a heap underneath a pile of splinted wood from a closet door. At once, the guards drew out their spears. Vinyl flung her hair out of her eyes and grinned devilishly at them.
“You heard the dude. Come at me. COME AT ME!” yelled a cross-eyed Vinyl.
And it started. At once, three of the unnamed guards ran straight at her, ready to take Vinyl down to the floor. But with the spring of a mountain lion, Vinyl had cleared all of their heads and landed in front of the bathroom door. Vinyl shot a beam of blue light toward the stereo inside the bathroom’s medicine cabinet. A loud crackle of static came from a set of speakers stationed at every corner in the living room ceiling. The static was so loud, the guards aimed their spears toward them, expecting them to attack (they weren’t all that bright to begin with). But instead, the same insanely fast rock song Vinyl had been listening to in the bathroom earlier began filling the room.
“Battle music,” chuckled a stout blue pegasus.
“Oh this one takes me back—”
“WHAT ARE YOU BLITERHING IDIOTS WAITING FOR? DOWN HER!” roared the boss, who was still trying to emerge from the pile of wood. The three guards leaped into action once more, charging straight at Vinyl side by side.
In counter, Vinyl shot a beam of orange from her horn and downed the nearest guard, then used his momentarily grounded body as a platform to leap up between the other two. While passing through the air between them, Vinyl kicked them in the sides of the head with her hind legs, flinging them sideways.
Two Ton, Dimbus and a third guard, the three that hadn’t been struck yet, sprang into action at once. As heavy as a rhinoceros, but eight times as agile, Two-Ton zigzagged toward Vinyl, holding his stick like a fighting staff. Just barely dodging a heavy blow to the stomach, Vinyl rolled to the side and shot another beam of orange light up toward his face, which missed. A pile of wood and drywall fell from the ceiling with the resounding explosion, knocking Dimbus to the floor.
Destroy them! Destroy them allllllllll hahahaha!
By this time, the initial three pegasi had already gained their bearings and advanced on Vinyl once more.
“SHE’S JUST—A—UNICORN!” screamed the boss pathetically. Vinyl was pleased to see that his front two legs had been lodged in crevices in the wood. He was attempting to kick them free, but making little progress.
“Hahahahahahahaha!” laughed Vinyl maniacally, continuing to speed around the armored guards and evade them. A random spear came flying through the air past her, but bounced off the armor of another guard. Once or twice, a hoof outstretched to trip or grab a hold of her, but all attempts were useless. They may have had brute strength, but Vinyl had speed. And magic. There was always that.
But even with speed, magic and the fury of a starving cerebrus on her side, several minutes later, Vinyl wasn’t quick enough to notice a large shadow had just loomed behind her.
“Hahahaha! Missed me again, you stupid fu—”
WHUP! Vinyl was knocked to the floor from a heavy blow from the back of the head. Seeing stars, Vinyl rolled around on the floor just in time to catch a glimpse of the tallest pegasus she had ever seen in her entire life.
What the?
“Cloud Scraper!” yelled the boss, just about free. “You’ve been promoted! Detain her!”
“On it, boss,” said Cloud Scraper, reaching into his armor for some hoofcuffs. He wasn’t quite the height of Princess Celestia, but he had Luna beat for sure.
As the huge pegasus knelt down on her back, locking her hooves together, she could see the blurry forms of the other guards limping over to the them, breathing angrily.
With the help of Two-Ton, the boss had finally broke free of his wooden prison and hobbled over.
Get off of me you overgrown meatwheel! I was just getting started!
“Eight trained, armed, metal plated royal pegasus guards. One stupid little suburban unicorn,” said the boss, sneering. “I’ll admit, you put up a good fight. I thought for a fleeting second we were in trouble, I did. But justice always prevails in the end. Cloud Scraper, give her the rights.”
Cloud Scraper cleared his throat loudly. Oh how she wanted to punch that smug little grin.
“You have the right to remain silent,” said Cloud Scraper, tightening the second pair of hoofcuffs. Vinyl squirmed violently and emitted a spell, but missed entirely.
Hold still, you big-headed buggernauts.
“Clamp her horn, Dimbus,” said the boss. A good natured but homely pegasus with a stubble took out a strange metal cone-shaped object with four small bolts at the base. Dimbus set it over her horn and twisted the bolts until Vinyl could feel them pressing uncomfortably against her horn. She tried to emit another spell in retaliation, but the moment she geared up to use her magic, she felt it suck back into her like a sneeze.
“Technology these days, eh?” said Two-Ton, whose upper lip was bleeding. “You wouldn’t imagine the struggle before these things. Negates all magic. Invented by yours truly.”
Oh I’ll show you the REAL use of that invention, pal. I’ll shove it right up your—”
But before she could finish her inappropriate insults, a knock came from the door.
“Answer it, but be cautious,” said the boss. A guard walked over to the door and peered out the window. In haste, he flung it open.
“P-princess Luna?”
And sure enough, the princess of the night herself was standing on the threshold. She had been smiling, but her smile vanished instantly when she saw the sight before her.
The boss looked from his guards to Luna, who looked from Vinyl to the guards. Luna then scanned the enormous mess, the cracked ceiling and then finally back to Vinyl. Vinyl, flat on the ground, still cross-eyed, looked from Luna to Luna, to Luna and Luna, then back to Luna.
“Do you understand these rights as I have read them to…” trailed off Cloud Scraper, being the last to notice who was standing in the doorway. Blinking nervously, he rose off Vinyl at once and joined the other seven in a bow.
Several moments passed. A cricket was chirping out in the bushes. Somewhere down the street, a door closed.
“Um…,” began Luna awkwardly. “Evening, everypony.”
“Evening, your majesty,” everypony replied.
“The power is out in all of Canterlot. Except…for this home, which we found exceedingly odd. Care to explain?”
Dimbus peered out a window into the city. Every last source of electric light had vanished.
“’Oly ‘orsehoes, she’s right!”
“What’s been going on here? Why is Vinyl Scratch bound on the floor?”
“She committed assault, your majesty,” said the boss, still on his front two knees. “There was a struggle.”
“I can see that. Assault? How so?”
“Our reports said that—”
“I slammed a door in my friend’s face,” grunted Vinyl, laying pitifully on her side. “It knocked him out.”
“I…see,” said Luna, who was evidently trying not to laugh. "Was it Neon Lights again?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“You do realize that isn’t healthy for a pony’s head?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“Please don’t do it again.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“Thank you.”
Princess Luna magicked the restraints off Vinyl at once. Vinyl glared angrily at the guard nearest her, who looked away uneasily.
Oh if she could just beat them all one last time…
“B-b-but—Princess Luna—” stammered the boss.
“Please, call me your majesty,” said Luna.
“Yes, your majesty.”
“You will leave this home.”
“But a crime has been committed! You can’t allow—”
“I’m a ruler of Equestria. Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do.”
“Y—yes, your majesty,” said the boss, gritting his teeth.
“You will not include this on her record.”
“Yes, your majesty,” said the boss, gritting them again.
“You will stop targeting suburban disc jockeys by sending an irrational amount of guards to their home and punishing them for actions that don’t warrant being arrested.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“Boss, what about arresting the other—,” began Dimbus, but the boss shot him a dirty look to shut him up.
“Another arrest?” questioned Luna, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s…nothing, your majesty,” said the boss with great effort.
Luna eyed him suspiciously.
“Rrright. Thimble (Was that really his name? Haha!), you are relieved of duty tonight. And the rest of you—”
Luna eyed the remaining seven.
“Return to your stations, battalion.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
One by one, the guards filed out of the house, leaving Vinyl alone with Princess Luna, who turned to her. Vinyl was expecting a scolding.
“ETA for your next album?”
“Oh, uh…,” said Vinyl in surprise, “October, probably.” She rubbed her head where Cloud Scraper had struck her.
“Good. In the meantime, stay out of trouble please. I’m going to advise my sister to hold a meeting tomorrow to discuss this city’s law enforcement system.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“Please, call me Luna.”
“Thank you, Luna.”
“Good night!” she smiled.
Luna took off into the night sky, leaving Vinyl to her fate. She closed the door and turned back toward the catastrophic mess.
She began to laugh uncontrollably. It was ridiculous! Everything that had transpired tonight was so beyond normal reality, it was a complete joke.
“Octavia’s going to kill meeheehee!” she cackled, pointing at the huge hole in the ceiling. “And the closet door—bahahaha!” She exclaimed, noticing the destroyed wood. “I might as well pack my bags now!”
Vinyl crawled over to the immense pile that was once her turntable. She rolled around in the pieces like they were a field of daises.
“Thank you all for coming tonight!” she yelled, throwing pieces into the air. “Back soon you next year!”
Vinyl grabbed the remote, which was still in one piece. She broke it in half over her head. “There! All put away!”
As the clock on the wall ticked, rounding on 11 o’clock, Vinyl twitched on the ground, mimicking the noise. Every sixty seconds she completed a whole circle. It was all hilarious! Everything! And she wasn’t even dreaming! But who cared what reality—maybe reality was nothing. It was all up to her, because nothing else mattered in the world now.
She half yawned, half giggled again.
“I wonder what it would be like to arrest a house...” Vinyl imagined suddenly a pair of handcuffs the size of a sea serpent wrapping themselves around their house. She laughed loudly. Even the dumbest thought was comedic gold.
Vinyl yawned again. She arose from the ground and made her way over to the couch, which was quite comfortable. A film of dust lay upon the pillows. She kicked them all out of the way and made a mini fort out of the cushions. She crawled inside and closed her eyes, still snickering to herself.
“Hehehehehehehehe…”
When Vinyl opened her eyes, what seemed to be just seconds later, a soft white light was filling the room. Vinyl rose from what wasn’t the couch she was on moments ago, but a thin grid carpet. Vinyl blinked her eyes and beheld a tiny square room, lined with glass walls and a handsome wood ceiling. A soft humming noise was coming from outside the room, as well as the distant drone of voices. Vinyl studied the tiny room in amazement until…
Ding!
Vinyl whirled around to the noise and saw a long column of square buttons next to a double door. Above the door was the number 7.
As though she knew exactly what she was doing, she pushed the bottommost button on the column and the elevator began to move.
Calming piano music was playing overhead through a single speaker as the elevator fell slowly in altitude.
When the elevator stopped, the doors opened to reveal an endless grassy field and a bright blue sky. Entirely confused, but fascinated, Vinyl left the elevator, which vanished at once upon her exit. A warm breeze brushed her hair, tickling her face.
Far off in the distance were countless windmills, as tall as skyscrapers. Propellers as long as football fields spun at different speeds. Vinyl was about to set out towards them when she turned an ear toward the cloudless blue sky. The same slow, simple, cheery piano sonata was drifting through the air, its origin unknown. Shrugging, Vinyl continued toward the windmills.
The field vaguely reminded her of the park that Octavia used to take Vinyl to. Vinyl hated them. She didn’t mind sunshine, nor was she against parks, but long, boring walks weren’t her cup of tea. Thankfully, though, she finally succeeded by getting Octavia to quit asking her to go, for she was running out of excuses.
Bluebirds as tiny as moths were zooming blissfully around her, chattering amongst each other. For such tiny things, their chirping blocked out the music entirely. Vinyl growled in annoyance.
“Shut up, I’m trying to hear the music!” she said angrily, swatting at the birds. Instantly, they all grew many times in size, now the size of regular bluebirds. One landed on the grass and chirped at her reproachfully. Unfazed by this, Vinyl cantered past them.
Her canter became a gallop as the bluebirds pursued her, singing their springy songs. Vinyl roared insults back at them until the bluebirds became the size of albatrosses. Before she knew it, a large wing had knocked her to the ground.
The bluebirds circled like vultures above her, laughing at Vinyl’s misfortune.
“I’ve gone through enough already! Gimme a break, will ya?!” she screamed at them, her vision swimming with stars.
The birds had now swelled to the size of dragons. With the blink of an eye, they had dropped their fluffy blue feathers and had replaced them with shiny grey scales. Vinyl got back to her hooves carefully and tried to focus on the music, not looking at the sky.
“Gotta get home…gotta get home…,” she thought, ignoring the great shadows moving through the grass. “Must beat Tavi…”
The thought had barely escaped her mind when one of the huge grey dragons slammed to the ground. Smart purple eyes, charcoal scales and even a pink bowtie, a dragon with the face of Octavia was leering back at her.
“MY NAME IS OCTAVIA!”
Before Vinyl could react, two rows of razor sharp teeth had swallowed her whole and she fell into darkness. Her silent screams rang helplessly until…
“Oof!” She had hit solid ground. But rather than the belly of a dragon, Vinyl was once again in the elevator. Shaking, Vinyl scrambled to her hooves and slammed her hoof into the topmost button. She wanted to put as much distance between her and those…things as possible.
The elevator clunked into motion, knocking Vinyl to the floor once again. The floor was no longer carpet, but stainless steel. The glass on the walls had cracked and the piano sonata had gone. All that could be heard was the mechanical whirrrrrrr of the elevator.
What seemed like way too short of a time to rise eighty-five floors, the number above the double doors flashed its highest number. When the doors opened, Vinyl hid behind the wall of the elevator and peered out into the landing, checking for pony-dragon hybrids. When none were found, Vinyl stepped out.
“Whoa…”
Vinyl was standing in a gigantic circular room with paintings lining the walls. A shiny black floor surrounded an immense blue carpet, also circular, in the center of the room. The pattern of her hooves echoed off the walls while she scanned the large room. The room reminded her vaguely of a horrible art gallery Octavia had once took her to, but ten times as wide.
A gigantic mechanical arm protruded from the high ceiling when Vinyl reached the carpet, causing her to stumble in surprise. She eyed the arm warily as it grew in length, surpassing forty feet at least. When the arm had stopped growing, five fingers the length of yardsticks flexed themselves then beckoned to her. Vinyl backed away slowly.
“Get lost!” she yelled, still looking for the elevator. But like in the green field, the evevator seemed to have completely vanished. No doors lined the walls, nor did any windows. Just countless, boring, stupid old paintings!
The robot arm made a crude gesture and spun away from her. “Yeah? Well f—”
A mechanical noise.
“—you too, buddy!” she hollered back.
The robot took no notice to this, but curled its long fingers into a point and descended its hand. When the pointer finger touched the floor, Vinyl felt the whole floor shift, knocking her to the ground. Before she could regain her stance, the entire room began to move. It was a few moments of tumbling and stumbling before Vinyl knew what was going on. Hardly able to believe it, she looked down at the carpet, where she saw giant looping letters amidst a warm sunset design with a cello fading into it.
“Pulling—Heartstrings?” spat Vinyl, disgusted. “How—on earth—oof—do I—get out of—ouch—here?”
The moody cello strings that were starting to play around her were giving her a sickly feeling in her stomach that had nothing to do with the fact she was spinning as fast as a carnival ride. Vinyl galloped, or more or less rolled, to the edge of the great circular room where the giant spinning vinyl disc didn’t reach. When she finally regained her stance, Vinyl searched frantically for a door. Heck, even a window would do. She just had to escape the sentimental madness!
Not helping the cause in the slightest, Vinyl took notice of the nearest painting in front of her. A pony was sitting alone on a park bench, amidst a great expanse of grass, while a depressing sheet of rain fell upon her parasol. The pony’s head was turned, but a long charcoal mane curling around her neck sparked a speck of curiosity in Vinyl. But too annoyed by the music to give the thought a second pass, Vinyl took off along the wall. She had no idea how she was going to get home, but if she could just leave this wretched place…
“Oh what the—” jumped Vinyl, as her eyes caught a painting of a shocking pink room. She couldn’t help but stare dumbstruck at what was quite possibly the ugliest bedroom she had ever seen. Everything—and quite literally everything—was pink. The bed, the canopy, the curtains, the furniture, the walls…it was like staring at an orphanage that just burst into flames. It was so horrible, but she just couldn’t look away. Until—
“—Wait…no way…how the—?”
The same exact pony from the first painting had just appeared in the painting out of nowhere, now sitting upon the bed. Her parasol was gone, but the curl of charcoal hair…and that collar band around her neck…no, it couldn’t be…
Vinyl shook the scene out of her eyes and kept running along the outside wall. A smooth saxophone melody was now entering the fray, giving the saccharine music a whole new level of disgusting.
“No, not the sax!” she wailed. Vinyl was now galloping so fast, the paintings were zooming beside her like racecars. The room was beginning to expand on its own, as well as the ceiling. Every ten feet felt like an inch, every second of the music could have been minutes. Oh, the inhu—er—ponity…?
…Um…well let’s just say things were bad. Yes, indeed, nine-hundred degrees. As bad as bad could possibly go, while still not yet being bad enough to kill her. As the sappy paintings continued to whizz by, the room had become more or less the width of a football stadium.
“GyaaaaHHHH I CAN’T TAKE IT!” screamed Vinyl at the top of her lungs. “WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPEN—!”
BAM!
Literally out of nowhere, a single wooden door appeared before her, knocking her flat. Just a titch shy of a concussion, Vinyl shook off the stars swimming around her and wrenched open the door, praying it was an exit.
Instead of an exit, to her bewilderment, was yet another painting. But unlike all the other paintings, this one was so intricately done, it could have been a photograph. In the painting, standing tall, elegant, yet as mighty as ever, was Princess Celestia. Familiar and unfamiliar faces dotted the picture all around her, but most prominent, was a greyish earth pony in a startlingly pretty black dress. Although blushing furiously, the joy in the pony’s purple eyes couldn’t be hid. Her outstretched hoof was grasping the hoof of Celestia, who, too, was beaming. It could have made the cover of a magazine. Or the picture frame beside her front door.
“Tavi…,” breathed Vinyl automatically.
All at once, the music, lights, everything, had vanished and the room had gone dark.
“Whoa, what the…?”
Silence. Then—
“My name is Octavia.”
CrrrrrRRREEAAAAAKKKKK!
The gigantic metal arm had emerged out of the darkness and scooped up Vinyl in one sinister motion. Vinyl writhed and screamed as the metal arm lifted her higher into the air, its destination unknown.
“My name is Octaviaaaaaa…”
“No it’s not, you gigantic heap of scrap metal! Lemme go!”
“Well alright…if you inssssssssist!”
The metal arm swung in a circle and pitched her into the abyss with the speed of a fastball. Her screams echoed into nothingness as she tumbled helplessly through the air, her eyes glued shut. Then before she knew it, she had met solid ground again.
Smack!
Vinyl opened her eyes once she realized she wasn’t dead and beheld a tall podium of cherry wood in front of her. Jutting off on either side of the column, nearly as tall as the column itself, were walls made out of the same material. A single spotlight was beaming down between her and the podium, just enough to illuminate the scene. Everything else around her was shrouded in pitch black darkness, soundless.
Vinyl climbed to her hooves and looked up toward the top of the great podium.
“Uh…hello?” she called. For a few moments, there was no response, until three more spotlights clanged open above the podium and walls.
“Good evening, everypony,” announced a familiar voice from atop the podium. Vinyl squinted her eyes up toward the speaker and noticed a thin, midnight blue figure with a flowing mane.
“Princess Luna?”
An earsplitting groaning sound behind her made Vinyl stumble to the ground in surprise. Two gigantic double doors, thousands of times wider than the elevator door, opened up to reveal an immense crowd of ponies. The tumult of cheers gave Vinyl the impression she had just fallen into a concert stage right before show time. She attempted to disappear off to the side in embarrassment until an invisible force bounced her back.
“Trying to leave are we?” called Princess Luna, her voice ten times louder than normal. She looked amused. “And leave your fans?”
“My...fans, your majesty?” Vinyl turned back toward the audience. There had to be tens of thousands of them!
Vinyl’s face glowed a brilliant pink. She smiled awkwardly and waved at them all, feeling completely stupid. The crowd roared enthusiastically, oblivious to her mistake she had made.
“Flattering, isn’t it?” said Luna kindly.
“Yeah totally! But…,” Vinyl turned back to Luna. “What the heck is going on? Where am I? Why are you here? Uh…your majesty?”
Luna laughed. Vinyl didn’t think it was funny at all; she was growing tired of all the confusion. She just wanted to go home…
“Right. Well, excuse me, your majesty—and—my fans,” Vinyl waved brightly at the audience, “—but I need to get home. Tavi will kill me if she finds out—”
“Her name is Octavia,” hissed Princess Luna. Her face had suddenly appeared an inch away. Vinyl nearly jumped out of her skin!
“S-sorry!” breathed Vinyl, her heart once again beating a hundred miles an hour.
Princess Luna withdrew her head back up to her podium.
“No you’re not,” said Luna, her voice now normal. But the smile had not returned.
“Please, Princess Luna, I need to get—”
“Home? You mean the house you and Octavia share?”
“Yyyeah?” said Vinyl, raising an eyebrow. Why was she still talking so loud? All her fans were here...
“You have done nothing to rightfully call that your home,” said Luna, frowning. Vinyl could hear the crowd steadily growing quieter.
“Princess Luna, please, not now—”
“The truth is embarrassing, isn’t it? Oh and everypony thought you were so cool!”
Vinyl sprinted toward the side of the stage. This wasn’t happening.
“How long has it been since you paid the rent?”
Vinyl found herself back on the opposite side of the stage, as though she had just teleported there.
“When was the last time you hung out with each other? When was the last time you bought the groceries? Cleaned the bathroom? Scrubbed the kitchen? When was the last time you appreciated any of my music?!”
In Vinyl’s surmounting state of panic and the booing coming from the audience, Vinyl didn’t notice that Luna’s voice was steadily becoming Octavia’s.
“Just keep running away, Vinyl. RUN AWAY!”
Vinyl was sprinting with all her might, trying to block out the booing from the audience.
“Behold, everypony! The great Vinyl Scratch! The worst roommate in HISTORY!”
As Vinyl frantically galloped from side to side of the stage, scenes of her life began to play on a screen above the podium. Vinyl, shocked by what she was seeing, slowed to a halt.
There was the fight with her and Octavia when she had missed her performance. After that, the time she ditched Octavia at a party to chat with some other old friends. Then came the time she had finally succeeded in convincing their walks in the park were pointless and she’d rather sleep.
Somewhere along in the video, after countless scenes of her criticizing Octavia for her taste in music, was the time she purposely got her and Octavia kicked out of an art exhibit just so she never had to go back. Then the time she accused Octavia of losing one of her favorite records, which she ended up finding underneath her bed.
They didn’t stop.
Vinyl inclined her head, too ashamed to continue looking. Ignoring the surmounting dislike being radiated by the crowd, Vinyl noticed an EXIT sign had finally appeared on the left side of the stage, over a small set of double doors. Barely even looking where she was going, she walked toward the doors and they opened automatically. The scenes still haunting her, she stepped into the doorway.
The elevator doors closed behind her. The room was completely dark. Where the column of buttons once sprawled on the wall, just two buttons remained, one pointing up and the other pointing down. Vinyl stared at the buttons, deciding if she even dared to push one again. Each destination ended up in her meeting her fate. Would the same be true again?
Vinyl, her hoof shaking, pressed the downward facing button. The elevator buzzed down the shaft and Vinyl remained standing in silence. When the elevator had finally reached a stopping point, Vinyl prepared herself for action.
The double doors opened and showed their contents. A large party, with more ponies than Vinyl had ever experienced at a party, were dancing energetically to the background music. Vinyl recognized the track as one of her own. Off to the side were tables full of drinks and refreshments, countless comfortable chairs, and a mixing station where Vinyl would usually be hanging out at. It was in a very real sense, the perfect party. A couple of ponies, who Vinyl recognized as Carrot Top and Lyra, waved at her to come join them.
Normally, Vinyl would have been out the door before even taking in the full scene. But as though a sickling feeling was coming over her, she eyed the scene nonchalantly and closed the door.
“No.”