//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: A Joke Too Far // by DouglasTrotter //------------------------------// Hooves pounded against the dirt road. Trees whizzed by. The ripe red apples were little more than a blur. Images flashed through the Cutie Mark Crusader’s minds while they giggled, chuckled, and laughed with each other. “Ah can see it now,” Apple Bloom said. The pit’s utter darkness appeared to absorb light, its depths unknown to pony kind as it appeared bottomless. Apple Bloom’s magically imbued bungee cord would be tied off to an large, sturdy old apple tree that jutted towards the sky near the sewer cover sized hole in the ground. She would dive in first, wind rushing past her face. It felt like eternity. A pony could write a lengthy novel or book Apple Bloom thought to herself before she felt a soft, quick bouncy stop. A cavernous room with patrols of bipedal canines would greet her eyes. Their snarls, grunts, and barks bounced off the walls of the grey rocky rooms and tunnels, Apple Bloom’s presence masked and ignored with the rope's magic. Light from the nearby torches caused the treasure to shine; its beautiful twinkles and glints rivaled Princess Luna’s stars as several large piles of gems and jewels littered the landscape. Off to her left and right towered mountainous piles of treasure that didn’t appear to end, rivaling the treasure horde of ten grand equestrian dragons. Precious gems the likes of which Equestria had never seen glistened in front her. Apple Bloom’s outstretched hooves would latch onto a small cache of the treasure before she bolted back up to the top by the cord’s magically imbued strength. “I’m next after you Apple Bloom, remember.” Sweetie Belle said before her imagination ran wild. “I heard those Diamond Dogs go down deep to get the ‘good stuff,’ according to my big sister. They may even have some rare Dragon’s Eye emeralds. Oooo, they might even have a Celestia’s Eye Amethyst stones, maybe some precious Skyblue Diamonds and Fiery Sun Star rubies. Scootaloo, you're third and then it’s Apple Bloom again.” Scootaloo knew her turn would be next, yet remained silent. She looked back towards her wings. In her mind she said, “I can’t overexert my wings. I have to let that stuff set in.” A small area came into view. The Cutie Mark Crusaders speed up their pace from a gallop to a full speed run. “Ah can almost—“Apple Bloom said. *** *** *** “OW!” “Apple Bloom, come help me steady this. Big Macintosh is more determined than Rainbow on a cider binge.” Apple Jack shouted to the filly that ran into her. The mare pointed at the two next to her sister, “Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo. You two help too.” Ropes were flung in their directions, swiftly pulled taught. The four ponies clutched the ends in their mouths. Ropes led towards an object that rose above them, perched on Big Macintosh’s strong back. With a final tug of their ropes, the massive object steadied itself. "One. Two. Three." Big Macintosh said, straining to count. After "three" exited his mouth, the strong stallion bucked then, after an exasperated huff, wiped the sweat from his wet brow. A giant boulder sailed through the air. An aftershock hit the ponies’ hooves. Sweetie Belle fell over. “What in tarnation has gotten into you, Big Brother?!” Apple Jack said. Though she stood shorter than him, by a few inches, the mare’s ominous glance made her appear to be the bigger of the two, staring the stallion down like Celestia who towered above a mischievous behaving foal. “It’s plugged.” Big Macintosh said with a retort. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo shrugged. They gathered the magically imbued rope, the tarp, and extra equipment. “Sweetie Belle, what’s wrong? You hurt?” Applejack said after a loud scream echoed throughout the apple orchard. She pulled on the filly’s hooves, examined her mane and horn before she grasped Sweetie Belle’s tail with a gentle, mother-like hoof, “Rarity would tan mah hide if you got hurt by Big Mac’s shenanigans.” Sweetie Belle’s hoof trembled while it rose into the air. Her eyes remained glued at the sight in front of her. The filly’s hoof soon pointed towards the boulder that sunk further into the ground. “Our jewels! Our treasure! Our Loot!” Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo said one after another. The objects placed onto their backs fell towards the ground. Soon, the rock stopped. “How are we supposed to be Cutie Mark Crusader Bungee Spelunkers?!” “Sweet Celestia, don’t go scarin’ me like that. Thought something serious might’a happened to ya.” Applejack said. She picked her hat off the ground, dusted it off, and then proceeded towards her big brother. “Big Macintosh, what in tarnation got into your head, thinkin’ a boulder like that was needed? No! Don’t you ‘but’ me. That was a foalish thing to do. Ya could have injured the fillies here. Ya could have damaged a year’s worth a work on these trees around us. We need these apples for—“ “Please open the hole up sis,” Apple Bloom said. She grinned at her sister with her friends by her side. “We’ll be good. We swear.” Applejack squinted. She glared at the Cutie Mark Crusaders near her hooves before her firm gaze focused on Apple Bloom. “Go stand near your big brother over there if you’re gonna act like a foalish pony. Ah still can’t believe Big Mac hauled that, that ‘thing,’ by himself, from the gorge outside Ponyville. We can’t have him messin’ up his back. There’s a perfectly good wagon to help with a chore like that and not to mention – Just, just never mind. The answer is no. Double No! Triple No! No means no to infinity and beyond all no! Whoa there Big Mac, Ah’m not done with you mister. Not by a long shot. Ah’ll let Granny give ya an ear full when Ah tell her about it back at the house.” “The hole is plugged,” Big Macintosh pointed his hoof at the boulder that finally settled. A stern eyebrow rewarding his remark, the stallion turned his head and whistled an innocent tune. Sweetie Belle stared at her tarp. Apple Bloom glanced over her magically imbued rope. Both of them sighed while Scootaloo’s wings twitched once again, the action ignored. The three fillies sat in defeat. Their collective sighs filled the quiet moment as they watched the boulder receive a final fierce buck from Big Macintosh’s muscular back hooves. Their fantasies of Skyblue diamonds, Dragon’s Eye emeralds, and Celestia’s Eye amethysts evaporated, yet Sweetie Belle’s eyes soon lit up. She motioned towards Apple Bloom. Scootaloo’s right ear perked up. The three gave a devilish smirk, soon wiped from their faces. Apple Bloom approached Big Macintosh. She tapped on his right hoof and gave him a kind smile, “Ya mind movin that boulder? We just need to get some stuff out of the hole. We'll be quick about it. Ah got a picture of Cheerilee from her session with Photofinish." Big Macintosh paused for a moment. He looked at Apple Bloom then gave a devilish smile in return and leaned in close, "Nope. Already have it. Signed too." Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo’s perked ears lowered. Their eyes widened along with Apple Bloom’s. They darted in front of the stallion. Their puppy dog expressions and jittering lips were succeeded by a unison of "Please! Please! Please! We'll be good." The stallion shook his head. His eyes caught a quick glance of Apple Bloom and her hoof pointed at the area surrounding the boulder. Before Scootaloo could utter anything past "Cutie Mark Crusader Excavators," Big Macintosh chucked a few, large, nearby rocks towards the boulder’s base. He waved at Applejack as she came back towards the group. “Ok you three, you go and skedaddle somewhere. Big Macintosh here needs to get some work done. Ah’m gonna watch him close to make sure there’s no more foalishness. This is where we’re plantin great oak’s descendant. We gotta get this done before the next rain comes.” Applejack said. She chuckled, “Rainbow is gonna be on time, for once, if she wants her extra cider, heh heh.” Apple Bloom received a final stern look from Applejack and Big Macintosh. She, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, in their final defeat, meandered along the dirt path back towards the club house. *** *** *** "Well... that was a bust." Sweetie Belle said with a sigh then turned to Apple Bloom, "Big Macintosh didn't seem too happy we tried to con him into opening it up." Apple Bloom grumbled to herself. Her front left hoof hit a rock. She watched it skip ahead. "Mah brother is too smart for his own good. Thought Ah heard Granny talkin’ about something, sayin’ it was autographed on the back. No wonder she was chucklin’ at Big Maicntosh. Yuck!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders raised their heads to see the club house in view. Near the pebble, Apple Bloom hit it once more. It rocketed towards a nearby tree, into the canopy, and then fell to the ground near her hooves. "It would have been so awesome to go bungee spelunking in those caves. Those gems would have been worth a mountain of bits," Scootaloo said while she closed the distance. "I wonder if we could have nabbed that giant diamond Rarity told you about, Sweetie Belle." Apple Bloom hit the rock once more, causing it to bolt towards another tree. "I think Rarity made it — what the? What are you doin' here?! Ah thought you got sent off to that fancy camp with Silver Spoon?" Diamond Tiara dusted herself off and adjusted her jeweled mane piece. Her nose pointed into the air, a quick "hmph" followed. She turned towards the Cutie Mark Crusaders, sauntered past them, stopped a few hoof steps from them, and quipped, "Good luck with your 'ointment,' Scootaloser." Scootaloo’s helmet slipped off her head. Her ears perked up. Around the four fillies, loud cicada chirps permeated the air. “Wh-wha-what?” Scootaloo said. Her eyes widened. Diamond Tiara maintained her sinister smile and resumed her casual stroll towards Ponyville. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle darted towards her, down the dirt road. Diamond Tiara quickened her pace. Scootaloo bolted towards the club house. In one quick thrust she busted the door open; its doorknob and latch lay on the ground. Jar firm in hoof, her eyes darted to each piece. She focused and relinquished her gaze several times. The container slipped from her hooves. Scootaloo read the scroll while the glass jar rolled along the wood floor towards the door's broken latch and doorknob. She dropped the scroll and stared out the window. "Made by Ms. D.T.?!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle galloped in. After a quick breath, Apple Bloom said, "Dang, that's another thing I have to fix up. These doors aren't easy to repair ya know. Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it Scootaloo. Diamond Tiara maybe a brat, but she's not malicious. Ah doubt she would do something harmful. Plus, isn't it against—?” Hoof steps preceded a lone figure. Shrouded by a tan cloak, it came up the small ramp towards the one room structure. The hairs on Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo’s backs stood on end. Their teeth chattered. Apple Bloom sighed then placed her right hoof on her forehead. "What's up Zecora?" Apple Bloom said. She motioned at her friend to come in then pointed towards the corner, "We have some snacks if you're hungry." Zecora raised her hoof in a gentle manner then shook her head in a fluid motion, "Thank you for the offer Apple Bloom, but I must go soon as it is nearly noon. I want to ask about the commotion, and if it has to deal with a certain potion." After she placed her hoof down, Zecora sniffed the air. At her hooves lay the door’s missing pieces and the glass jar. She popped container's lid off. A strong odor filled the club house once more. "If I might ask, what is this stuff? Why does it have you all in a huff?" Zecora said. "Diamond Tiara played a prank and made up some fake ointment. It's supposed to help Scootaloo's—" Apple Bloom said. "No! Stop Apple Bloom," Scootaloo said, stuffing her hoof into Apple Bloom's mouth. "Don't go telling every pony we meet about it." "I promise I'm not one to tell. What is it meant for? Is it a special spell?" Zecora said, smelling the container once more before she tapped her hoof against her chin. Scootaloo sighed after a nod from Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. "I went to the doctor, and they gave me some stuff to put on my wing muscles. I guess Diamond Tiara saw the note I left on the door to my house." Zecora flipped up the hood to her cloak. After she adjusted it, the zebra gave Apple Bloom a nod as the filly took a final whiff of the gel. "Don't tell me...." Apple Bloom said. Her hoof slammed into the wooden floor. “That’s low, even for Diamond Tiara.” "I'm afraid so my friend, this isn't good in the end. It has to deal with a potion I made. Something contained within a unique vessel for experiments quite special." Zecora said, moving towards the door. “I will make the cure just to be sure." "What's going on?" Sweetie Belle said. "Why am I in the dark?" Apple Bloom placed the top back on the container. Placed into the box, along with the scroll, she presented it Zecora. The zebra gave a final nod as she left for the Everfree Forest. Apple Bloom sat in front of her friends. "Zecora told me about it when I visited her hut four days ago. Poison Joke is a notorious problem in the Everfree Forest. She's experimenting with it to find a quicker treatment. That ‘vessel’ she talked about contained something called concentrated poison joke. Or, at least, that's what she told me. Ah think Diamond Tiara snuck into Zecora's hut, grabbed the container, and dumped it into that ointment.” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom turned towards their friend. Scootaloo’s eyes widened as Sweetie Belle said, “This can’t be good.”