One of the last things I recall is a group of six mares, floating in the air, powered by the still-inexplicable items known as the Elements of Harmony. To this day I’ll never understand them, even though I have far more experience with them than I care to have – both as wielder, having utilized three of the six against Discord and Sombra…and as victim, when my own flesh and blood – my sister! – brought them to bear against me.
The second to the last recollection is the blinding, searing pain as the harmonic forces within the Elements hit me harder than a rampaging hydra. I see nothing but prismatic energies, increasing, blinding me, enveloping me in a tornado of kaleidoscopic spellfire. A blaze of light runs through my soul, as sharp as the cut of a knife. I briefly experience a sensation where I feel as though I am cleaved in twain.
But it’s the last sight that I see that hurts the most: As the rainbow tornado dissipates, I see a small alicorn filly with soft blue hair looking up timidly at my sister. The smaller alicorn begs for forgiveness, and Celestia embraces her, taking the small foal in a hug that makes me remember the past and why, I now realize, my war with Tia has been nothing but a expensively-futile folly, paid in blood and regret.
But then I realize something that makes my heart stop: that filly is not me, she looks like me, when I was a foal, but that’s n—
Then there is nothing but darkness.
But not before I can scream.
The next thing I feel is that I’m lying against what looks and feels like cold, polished wood. That, in and of itself, is the first sign that wherever I am, it’s not Castle Everfree. The wood is all I can make out, and that’s because my face is smashed against it; around the edges of my eyes is a cold, unfriendly light. With a great strain, I push myself up to my hooves, my eyes stinging and still flaring from the sensoria. I feel violently ill, and it takes virtually all my willpower to prevent me from voiding the last thing I had in my stomach – say, when was the last time I ate?
It’s somewhat…discomfiting…to realize the last meal I had was a millennium ago.
As my stomach settles down and my eyes refocus, I realize wherever I am…is not home. Gone are the deep, brilliant colors that make up the Everfree, or for that matter Equestria or even Equus in general. This place is….it’s faded, washed out, and even the brightest colors, like the deep red…it doesn’t feel alive. There’s no “pull” to it. A second later, I realize why: there’s no magic here. This place is barren, dead…
Magicless.
I recoil from the unnatural state of it all so much that I nearly forget that I needn’t worry: I am Nightmare Moon, or to use my birth name, Clare de Lune, or Princess Luna, to those who chose not to utter my regnal name. I am the Princess of the Night, the Regis of Nightmares, and an alicorn – a goddess! This place might have no magic, but I shan’t be here long – all I need to do is find my way out of this trap and make my way back to Equestria. I shall rule the land, and my sister will pay for what she has done to me!
But for the moment, I’ll need to store my magic away. And that means…returning to my natural form. A shame, that; I’d grown to like the look the Nightmare Force had given me. I was finally the equal to Celestia, not her “darling little sister”, emphasis on little. And it’s not as though I was going to stay in my normal form permanently; I fully intended to return to my Nightmare form as soon as.
So with a quick lighting of my horn…
…nothing happened. I tried again. Nothing. Wondering what in Tartarus is going on – did Celestia’s damnable daughter, Twilight-whatever-her-name-is, slip something onto my horn while I wasn’t looking? And if it was correctly placed, my magic would be well-neutralized until it was removed.
Calm yourself, Luna, I tell myself. There’s a valid reason for all of this. Frustrated, I opt to stretch; I need to keep myself limber in the event that physical situations are called for. With my magic neutralized, well, while I was hardly reduced to nothing, I had to be a little more careful. As an alicorn, the syncretism of the three tribes, I had the constitution, strength and durability of an earth pony…but even the hardiest of earth ponies have their limits.
Well, then, if I am going to find my way out of here, I need to take better stock of my situation. Looking around, I realize where I am: a bedchamber. A monstrous bedchamber. The bed is as large as I remember Celestia’s having been, and while the room isn’t anywhere near as opulent as hers – or the one I had, for that matter – it is still well-furnished: a variety of woods and fabrics that are familiar, along with materials and textiles that are new to me. Seated to my left on a table that looks as though it is made of a smooth stone – yet is not – is a black, perfectly rectangular mirror…except that the mirror is dull, and has a name engraved on the bottom. To my surprise, the name is in Equish.
Samsung, the name reads. So I must be a prisoner of this “Samsung”. Hrm. The name sounds Inarijin – has Celestia asked the kitsunes to be my gaolers? I look back at the bed, and my eyes narrow. That would explain the large bed, from what I remember, the Ō-kyūbi, the great nine-tailed emperor of the kitsunes had many concubines…and what a prize catch the Princess of the Moon would make for him!
Well, I intend to show him the error of his ways. And if he’s lucky, I may just let him live to tell his progeny of his folly.
Noticing that the door to the bedchamber is slightly ajar, it’s foal’s play to nudge it open quietly. To my surprise, the room is not only unguarded, but the path ahead leads down a long, tall hallway. In the distance, I can hear an odd clatter, like a myriad of wooden-clad hooves in applause. Perhaps there is a celebration at the capture of the Dreaded Nightmare Moon? If so, I will be more than pleased to teach them the foalishness of their ways.
This plan of mine lasts right up until the point where I step on a board and it makes a strange, creaking sound. The applause suddenly stops, and a single voice calls out in perfect Equish, “Is somebody there?” And at that moment I tense, preparing for battle in this strange castle – whether I face the kitsune emperor or this Lord Samsung retainer of his, they are nothing compared to my might.
And as my opponent steps into view, for the first time in my life, I know terror. My eyes widen and a gasp of shock utters from my mouth. I have fought the spirit of chaos itself. I have faced Tirek and bested him. I have even waged war against my sister and nearly came out on top had it not been for her use of the Elements. But this…this is an enemy I cannot beat. This is an enemy Celestia cannot defeat.
Through the horrors of childhood, the terrors of youth and the darkest myths of my people comes the name of this abomination standing before me: a human. Though I try, I cannot take my eyes off him. Dear stars, the thing must stand well over seventeen hooves in height and weigh nearly eleven gemstone! I look at him with his unnaturally beige, furless flesh, save for the dark brown tuft on the top of his head. Beady brownish-gray eyes look back at me in surprise, I must have caught him off-guard as well. He is wearing trousers – though I have seen some species don them for reasons I’ll never understand, they seem rather restrictive – and a tunic that reads “The Byrds” in a highly-ritualistic script; I’ve no idea what it could mean.
He closes his eyes for a second, and that’s all I need. Forgetting for a moment that my magic wasn’t working earlier, I cast an emergency teleport spell. Normally it’s meant to take me back to my bedchambers in Castle Everfree, but given the situation and all that has occurred, I don’t know where I’ll end up. By the time I realize of what happened earlier, I feel a tendril of magic wrap around me and I’m gone in a flash—
—and the next thing I feel is pain. Screaming, wrenching pain. I look to where my right flank is sending jags of agony through my body and I see that my not-so-coordinated landing hasn’t quite brought me to safety: I crashed into what looked to be a broken chair, and a spar from said chair impaled me. Wondering if that monster is still around, I try and bite off the pain as I extract myself from the wood, but it’s too much. Collapsing on the ground, bruised and battered beyond care and almost entirely helpless, I slowly let go and surrender myself to my despair.
By now, the most animal part of my mind has almost taken over, the fleeing instinct that is so strong within my kind; small wonder, given that I realize, with horrific clarity, what has been done to me: Celestia used the Elements to bind me and torture me, then throw me into a place that makes Tartarus look like the Unicornia Fields. That almost hurts worse than the healing wound on my side: my older sister just threw me away. I am nothing to her now.
And then as if to pour salt into my wound, the abomination’s voice rings from above, both vague and yet all too clear:
“Excuse me, but…are you okay? You’re not harmed, are you?”
I pause into silence, both frightened by the creature’s sudden call – does he know I’m injured? Is it a trap? – and worn by my own wounds. Feeling like a foal, I cry myself to sleep.
I wake up hours later, to a horrible din. That din is me, and to my shame, not only did I cry myself to sleep, I continued on doing so while in the dreamlands. The dream realm is powerful, and most mortals tend to forget that sometimes what happens there can affect the waking realms as well. The long and short of it? I’ve been crying – wailing – in my sleep. As a result of it, my mouth is parched and as dry as the surface of the moon.
And as my thoughts settle upon that, a wellspring of emotions come up. My moon, my precious moon, a part of me and yet separate. My responsibility, my duty, my home…
…my prison…
I shut away the memories of a thousand years of being entombed under tons of lunar regolith and instead look at my injuries. The wounds look hideous, even though I know that eventually they will heal completely without even so much as a scar to mark their passing. Weighing the risks, I opt to remove my armor at the moment, as it will let me sleep and move easier. It also puts me in terrible danger if the human finds me, but I’m still weak and wounded, starving, parched and sooner or later my strength will flag.
I know that legend states that alicorns do not need to eat, sleep, or anything that mortals do, and that we commit these acts merely because we wish to understand our ponies further. Nothing could be further from the truth. Goddesses we may be, but we are just as flesh and blood as our ponies – though we are ageless, we are not immortal. We can be killed. We can starve. We can suffer the slings and arrows of war and so much more. And as the stinging buzz in my side reminds me, we heal, just like our people do.
But I will burn through my magic reserves if I do not get some food soon. Part of me wonders if I should risk leaving this darkened hovel and teleport back to where I was, to beg for food and water. Another part of me scoffs at the very idea; I am Nightmare Moon – I can take what I want, as it is my right! But that idea falls flat in the face of my recollections of the towering human and how much he overcla…
…Wait.
In my normal form, that human should be taller than me, obviously; I stand, maybe thirteen hooves, last I remember, but in this form, I am the same size as Celestia, a full sixteen hooves in height! I should almost be on par with the human, and based on the brief look I got of the creature, I should have been able to outmuscle him! But to me he appeared as a giant! Does he give off a terror aura or some sort of magic spell that was able to get past both mine and my armor’s defenses?
The growling in my stomach cuts that line of thought off immediately. I need food, and fast – forget the “haven’t eaten in a thousand years” bit, I’m famished! Closing my eyes, I prepare a teleport spell to take me back to the last location, and a second later, I’m back in harsh light of the strange passageway, just in time to hear his voice in the distance:
“Look, I don’t know when the last time you ate was, but I hope this will be of help.”
A few seconds later, I see him walking from around the corner. He’s carrying a brown bottle and a plate of some kind; scents waft from the platter and though I can identify most of the scents, something from it smells exotic and strange – I’m not sure I want to know what it is. In any case, I wait until he reaches his destination and bolt into the room. For all I know, it’s a trap, and that strange smell is cooked alicorn. But by this point I’m too hungry and I take the risk…though maybe I should have worn the armor.
What I see next makes me cry.
Absolutely weep.
Tears of joy and gratitude, that is. Whatever this monster is, cruel it is not. This is…well, to the commons it would seem like simple fare, but to a mare that hasn’t eaten in a thousand years and was expecting bread and water? This is….
I reach up and wipe the tears from my eyes, looking at the space where the human had been earlier, then back to the salad before me. Lettuce, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms and shreds of carrots, all lightly doused in a vinaigrette dressing that is music to my olfactory senses. At the side are two small loafs of bread, and next to it is a bowl of water. While I would have preferred wine, one cannot look a gift horse in the mouth, as the old Pegasopolean saying went.
But what really catches my eye is the icebox that sits near this feast. I remember when Master Star Swirl had been working on such a device; to my amazement, this one is far more advanced and makes Star Swirl’s prototype look positively eohippean. Curiosity getting the better of me, I open it carefully with my magic, hoping the human won’t notice an—
Oh, sweet stars…orange juice! He has orange juice! Greed possesses me and I take it immediately. Oh, sweet ambrosia, nectar of the alicorns, they called it in my day, the fruit that only grew in dragon lands and was beyond rare. I’d had it once at a banquet held by the king of Zebrica, and it was far more intoxicating than any elixir, its sweet explosion on my tongue making me nearly forget my troubles, even if for only a moment.
I eat my repast and consume the remainder of the liquid preciousness, and I am content.
But a realization comes to me: the human…I have wronged him. Not only have I stolen his precious elixir, but…no monster would savor such a sweet treasure as this. And he gave me not the meal of a prisoner, but the refection of a fellow being worthy of respect. Whatever my battle with Celestia, I should – and shall – hold nothing against this honorable creature, this benevolent Lord Samsung.
As I finish my meal, I feel that I must be kind enough to leave a note. A princess must be honorable in all things, lest I end up a monster like Sombra. I fight the voice in the back of my head that says I already have.
Summoning my writing implements – and thankful that the spell still works, as I have not used it in over a millennium – I leave a note for this generous soul.
Hours later, I dare venture out again.
The meal…I have never had an aubergine cooked like this before. I am in utter awe – if the chefs of old had ever created such refections, mayhaps I would have felt much more appreciated and would have never…committed to my current posture. Nothing could make this moment any more perfect. Perhaps it’s time t—
As if life intends to further slap me in the face, a melody fills the whole of this bastion. And as I hear the notes…it breaks my heart. It’s The Symphony of Stars, created by the great composer Gran Concerto upon…upon….
Mother, why did you have to go? What was so important that you left me with Tia and departed, never to be seen again? What could have possibly compelled you to think that a teenaged mare, even if an alicorn, raising her baby sister, namely me, would someday become the rulers of the realm? Did you not consider Discord? Or Sombra? Or…what happened between Tia and I or the fact that our ponies spurned me? Wronged me? Abjured me?
I…I barely remember you. I commissioned Gran Concerto to commemorate a symphony for you in the hopes that you would hear it and return, but…
I cry like a foal, leaving the meal half-eaten. I run. I hear Lord Samsung say something and it almost seems apologetic, but….
Mother, I miss you so much.
I retreat to the familiar darkness where I was earlier, slip on my armor and hide in a corner of this darkened place, fearful to turn on a light. I am, once again, reduced to a mewling wreck. Me, the Princess of Nightmares, the True Ruler of Equestria! Now nothing more than a frightened filly running from songs.
What is happening to me?
I’m back in front of the icebox, clearly made by a master artisan, gazing at the myriad treasures within, things that back in the palace could have only been kept as is by magical means – milk, a liquid so easily spoiled if not consumed nigh on the spot, and it has a place here. Even better – it’s chocolate! As if orange juice wasn’t enough of a valued prize – Lord Samsung has milk of chocolate as well?
I down the liquid happily. I recall a time when I was ill with strephorn; Mother tended to me personally and let me have chocolate milk as part of my reparatives. Oh, Tia was so cross when the jar came from faraway Donkonia – and she couldn’t have any! Mother put her hoof down that day!
‘Tis a shame that my gaoler is in Celestia’s orbit; I see he would have been quite the ally to have. Plus, quite honestly, the human has amazing artisans creating miracles and wonders for this grand bastion!
If I ever have the opportunity to meet this IKEA individual, I will have him make his masterpiece for my palace. Such incredible talent should never be wa—
Red intersects within my mind’s eye and I see a flash of memory. And those memories are not mine.
—In my mind there’s blood so much blood the screaming the knife I have to stop the knife why did you kill her you bastard why did you take her away from me oh God I’m in He—
Lord Samsung has need of me, and in the span of less than a second, I enter his dark dream. This human has done me more of a good turn than I, as a prisoner, have a right to. He has treated me as the princess that I am, and for his kindness, this stallion deserves mercy – I could not, in good faith, be a princess were I to turn from this stallion in his hour of need.
In his mind, I see horrors. I see another human, smaller, with a longer mane and…without going into detail, I presume this is his mare, and…oh, sweet stars…she’s being murdered by another stallion. I delve deeper, and I learn more. His name is North, and the mare’s name is Rachel. And she was murdered by her uncle, when he was visiting another kingdom, the knave taking advantage of Sir North’s sojourn to the Land of Cleve to murder…his niece? The foul monster committed nepticide – and of a mare he raised as his own?
I weep for Sir North. Looking into his mind, I see why he departed his Grove of Gardens, though oddly I cannot see how Celestia fits into this. Perhaps she keeps the cur in a dungeon beneath Castle Canterlot? Or she is the one who created the dungeon he sits in now, though I know not where the town of Sankwentin is.
He doesn’t deserve to live with this unending, unyielding self-torture. I push it away, replacing it with memories of the blue skies of Equestria and the hopes that he may be reunited with his Rachel within his dreams. But he may have questions as to why this occurred.
We thank thee for the treats, I tell him through the dreamscape, though we imbibed the remainder of thine chocolate milk – wouldst thou be so kind as to replace it? And to make it crystal clear: And we hope to relieve thee of thine night terrors. We know much of Nightmares; we shan’t have our host afflicted with such as well.
And though it hurts me, I send the song along of earlier this evening: the Symphony of Stars. It must have had meaning to him and his Rachel and I dare not expunge that from him. Though it wounds my own soul, I dare not let another suffer.
I may be a Nightmare…but before that, I am the Princess of Dreams.
I step outside into the bitter cold of winter. I have been a “guest” of Sir North for a month now and what I have discovered in that month has filled me with sorrow and shame – and hopelessness. For starters, I am no prisoner. No, that would be a kindness. What I am, is much, much worse.
I am not even Luna.
I discovered that one day while I got adventurous enough to wander through the house – just a house, not a palace, fortress, or anything of the like, merely an everyday home – and for the first time, I came across a mirror. I find, to my shock, there is a reason I am not Celestia’s size any longer…and that I am just the size of a normal mare, as though I were a typical female member of the tribes. And I cannot change back to the form of my birth…because there is nothing to change into.
The blue filly that I saw Celestia tearfully embrace so long ago wasn’t my fevered imagination – that was Princess Luna, stripped away and purified of the Nightmare Force.
Stripped away and purified…from me.
I am just a nightmare. And yet I have Luna’s memories, emotions and regrets…but strangely, not her anger or rage. Maybe that was removed from me as well. But the truth is incontrovertible: I am just the Nightmare, merely Nightmare Moon. I am no princess. I am no prospective ruler.
I am nothing.
And with that epiphany, the world became clear: Sir North acted like no gaoler…because he was never one. I am an intruder in his home, tossed to wherever this is from Equus. I serve no value or purpose; indeed, I am nothing but a drain on him. And yet…yet even still, he continues to take responsibility for my presence, even when I cannot face him due to my shame.
Instead, I take the time to familiarize myself with this wondrous world I’m in now. If I ever return to Equestria, I will use the knowledge…to better myself. To prove that I am somepony. That I. Am. Somepony! Luna’s problems are hers…or are they mine? Ours?
I see this is going to be a problem for me to figure out, at least where she’s/I’m/we’re concerned.
Oh, dear.
I look at the white snow and words come to me:
“A mind not to be changed by place or time.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heav’n of hell, a hell of heav’n.”
Those words were written down by a man named John Milton ages ago in a book called Paradise Lost. The book details about a once-bright spirit, having turned into an evil creature and made to suffer for eternity as penance for wrongs done – to watch the world as it continues, but to never be a part of it, even while being separated from the lands it considered its home.
I am amazed the work is not about me.
I set down the controller, feeling slightly bad about the pint of chocolate peanut butter ice cream that I’d just eaten. Third one this month, but I can’t help it! I will have to send letters of thanks to Messrs. Ben and Jerry – the two of them must toil constantly to make such delights! I can’t help but wonder if Equestria has anything of the like. Maybe I will find out someday. Maybe I will even be that mare.
That is, if me/she/we/Luna has been forgiven her/my/our transgressions. But Tia/Celestia/the Princess/my enemy/my sister/my sister? was always a forgiving soul.
I can only hope that forgiveness will include me someday.
Teleporting the empty tub to the trashcan, I look at the screen and sigh, bored. Honestly, I have got to find a better group of opponents in this game. For all their violent intentions and reputation…humans are...shitty, to use the local epithet...at war. If they fight like this, I’m surprised another species hasn’t conquered them yet! Lucky for them they’re the sole sapients in this reality, if everything I’ve read is true.
I’m about to check out one of the other games on Steam – as always, my kind benefactor has given me my own account and has let me learn the ways of his people through these technological marvels – when I hear his vehicle pull up. I’m not ready to face him yet, and besides, I need to finish the laundry.
Yes, me – the once princess of nightmares, now doing laundry. Perhaps I’ve been reduced to a housemaid, but better than the alternative, I think. At least I have somepony I can believe to take care of me.
“Moon? It’s North. Can we talk?” I hear him call out, and as always, I make a step towards where he is. But then I pause in shame. All I have done, and all my sins laid bare…he will cast me out if he finds out what I really am. Funny that when I first saw him, I thought he was the monster – when I have since discovered the only monster in this dwelling…is me.
Forgive me, Sir North – I long to thank you in-pony for all your kindness and everything you’ve done for me…
…but until the day I prove worthy of the kindness you’ve given me, I dare not show my face before you.