Chapter 7: Rainbows Bloom When The Storm Is Gone
All I could do was run. When I hurt someone, I ran from it. When I was brought into the world again as a monster, I ran from myself. When I unleashed an ancient evil, I ran from my deed. When I tried to betray the evil, all I could do was run. Now, again, all I could do was run.
Where in the world is she? She wouldn't be likely to go run off to somewhere she didn't know anything about, so it was likely she was hiding in one of the places I had already taken her. In that case, my first destination would be the mall.
This time, there were no wandering eyes, no suspicious police officers to dog my steps. And yet, instead of freedom, I felt only loneliness. Was this the freedom that I had yearned for? Now, I had been truly liberated from any bond, any confining factor. I had no family, no friends, no acquaintances to whom I owed anything. But now, with nothing guiding my way, I was more confused than ever as to which way to go.
Screw this, screw that, screw everything! I couldn't keep my thoughts straight; Every time I remembered Rainbow's face as she pushed past me, my mind went blank and it was all I could to to get a hold of myself before I ran into a pole.
Argh! Why was I so mad? Why was I so annoyed? I didn't understand, but I did understand that I could run. So I ran. So I kept running, still pondering about why I was so frustrated.
You IDIOT!
I stumbled over my feet, flailing my arms as I slid to a stop. Picking myself up, I slowly dusted off my soaking jeans. I felt some primal instinct rising up in my throat, and I almost gave in to it. I grit my teeth hard, biting my tongue to stop myself from yelling out. The slightly salty, slightly sweet taste of blood filled my mouth as my tongue began throbbing.
But I kept running. Even though I risked running into a pole- no. It would be easy, running into a pole, blacking out, leaving myself to rot in the isles of nowhere, never having to deal with anything ever again. This was what I wanted, wasn't it? Absolute freedom, no one around to tell me what to do. And here I was, wasn't I? I was all alone, completely alone. Alone in the rain. The irony of it made me laugh. Oh, I guess it really is true. Be careful what you wish for, huh? I could die all by myself, alone, and I don't think I would care. I don't think anyone would.
Maybe I should die. I'm already supposed to be dead, maybe I should finally let my body know that. I should die. All alone.
But.
I wasn't alone.
Rainbow Dash was out here too, she was alone in the rain, by herself, running, just like I was. Neither of us was alone, in the end. We had each other. We were both just running, running away from ourselves.
You...IDIOT!
It makes me mad. How could I be so pathetic? I had promised myself, hadn't I? I had promised to myself I would save her. I would save her as she saved me. She showed me the sky, I would show her the ground. I took away her dreams, so I would give her a new one to live. That was my promise, wasn't it? That was what I promised I would do.
I hate her.
I always did.
But then, what is this feeling?
She's been a nuisance to me ever since I met her. From my first time talking to her, she made fun of me. She called me dumb, she taunted me. Even in the end, she remained my personal demon, never letting me rest, forever by my side, pestering me, never giving me a break.
And yet,
In the end, she was the only one that stayed by my side.
When my family cut their ties to me, when I was thrown away from my friends, when everything I once cared for was torn away from me, what did I have left? Through thick and thin, high and low, there was still one Rainbow-maned Pegasus that followed me through it all.
I can't hate her. I should, I would, but I couldn't. Was I lying to myself all this time?
Thinking hurts my brain, so I just run some more. I run harder and faster, never stopping to look backwards or forwards.
I can't hate her. The more I try, the less I can. It's so unfair. It's so unfair that I don't even know where I'm going anymore. I could only run, I could only ever run. So I ran.
I can't hate her. I know, in my heart, that it's impossible.
With a start, I realized I was back in the field of my childhood dreams.
Wasn't I going to the mall?
But I had ended up here, in the end.
She would be here, I knew it.
It was getting cold. My rain soaked clothes sapped my body heat as quickly as it was generated, leaving me shivering in the rain.
I let my gaze wander to the place I knew she would be.
There, standing alone, on top of the hill, like an abandoned king, was a rainbow-haired girl.
She was gazing out into the distance, beyond the trees, beyond the grass, beyond the rolling hills. What was she looking at? Was she looking for her home, her friends, her Princess? Was she looking for her hopes, dreams, wishes?
The hopes, dreams, and wishes I had taken away.
As I walked over to her, I realized something that I had always known.
She's so strong, yet she really is naive. She really is.
Her strong body, radiating with confidence and strength, repelled any attempts of assistance. She didn't need anyone's help. And yet, as I looked at that face, with those longing and forlorn eyes, it seemed as if she would shatter if I so much as brushed against her.
The sounds of my footsteps, crushing the wet grass below my feet, slightly sinking into the soggy ground below, did nothing to alert her of my presence. She seemed to be in her own magical bubble, unaware of anything else in the world.
"Hey Dash." I didn't know what to say, so I awkwardly greet her as I approach her from behind.
No response.
"Hey Dash, you'll catch a cold if you stay out here all night." I gently tap her shoulder, crouching down to sit next to her on that lonely hill.
She jumped, her head spinning around to see who had disturbed her desolate introspection.
"Wh-why are you here?" She seemed flabbergasted, as she rubbed her eyes to make sure I was really there.
"My Dad is worrying about you! We were all freaked out when you didn't come home!" I still couldn't say it. In the end, I still had to give her a pathetic excuse.
"Oh...I guess I should say sorry...one less mouth for him to feed at least..." She turned her head away again as her gaze fell downwards.
"What are you talking about? C'mon, we're going back!"
Rainbow Dash seemed genuinely surprised.
"But you said...that you hate me..."
"I was lying, okay? I didn't want to admit it, to you, to myself, to anyone. I wanted to hate you, I really did, but I couldn't. I lied to myself, I lied to you, but in my heart, I couldn't hate you."
Rainbow Dash's eyes widened, as her mouth dropped slightly.
"I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. I don't hate you. I don't hate you at all!"
I felt my emotions finally break free from their prison in my heart and escape.
"Please, Rainbow Dash, can you...c-can you forgive me? I made a mistake...and I regret it now. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be honest with you, to tell you how I really felt, so..."
I hugged her, only knowing how to say one thing.
"I'm sorry."
I felt two forceful arms reach around me in a crushing embrace.
"Whatever, you big crybaby. Let's go home." A warm wind caressed my ear as the echoes of her whisper were slowly washed away by the abating rain.