Chapter Two
My Kingdom for a Hand
The two of us come out of the bedroom. If I were back home and I saw two ponies walking out of a bedroom, I would assume it to be the start of what sounds like a really bad fan fiction. The kind that has a horrible self-inserted character, a plot that makes little to no sense and inappropriate fan based shipping.
As it stands, maybe this is a really bad fan-fiction. I can imagine myself writing my exes as some sort of evil shadowy antagonistic figures and the rest of all this being a part of some rather messed up self-flagellating guilt fantasy.
However if that was the case, why didn’t I see it all coming?
Looking down I see another thing that I feel that I should have seen coming. The stairs that are almost right outside the door. There is a slight queasy feeling as I look down, I hesitate and almost stop suddenly.
“This again?” Twilight asks me.
“Hey! Stairs are...scary.” I tell her.
“You don’t seem to have any problems going up them...” Twilight replies looking at me expectantly.
“Going up them is one thing. Coming down them is another.” I turn around and start backpedaling down the stairs. I can hear Twilight sighing and see that she is looking at me with a slightly disappointed expression.
“HeartBreak. How are you supposed to adjust to being a pony if you can’t think like a pony?” She asks.
I look up at her. “I am thinking like a pony. A pony who still has a rather bad fear of high places and falling from those high places.” Hey, that actually sounded a bit rational and less snide than normal!
“Uhhhh Heartbreak?” I jump a little hearing a voice from behind me. It’s Spike. “You know you’re going about that the wrong way right?”
“No Spike.. Where I am from, every-p-p-Ugh!” I continue walking backwards finally getting to the bottom of the stairs. “They all walk backwards down stairs.”
Spike raises a claw and looks at Twilight. “Uuuuh..”
“Don’t ask Spike, she’s just having trouble sleeping,” she replies walking casually down the stairs. I sigh. In one breath I am envying the both of them. Twilight can go down stairs unimpeded and Spike has the closest thing to hands.
The kitchen never really appeared on the show, and yet here it is. It’s a small thing with a basic stove, refrigerator, cupboards and a table that’s big enough to seat the three of us.
Twilight starts pulling things out of the cupboards and refrigerator. Bowls, cups, three plates, apple juice, a few oranges, bread and a few eggs. Pots and pans go flying about and the stove turns on. Spike, meanwhile has taken out a bowl of small gems from the lower cupboards. He starts happily munching away on them. Flicking his thumb and popping them in his mouth.
That green streak of envy flits through me. I look down at my hooves and then back at Spike as he enjoys his crunchy treat. I always speculated that dragon teeth had to be made of diamonds to break down rocks like that. He then notices that I am watching him.
“What?” he asks in between a bite.
“Um. Nothing.” I reply.
“Let me guess.” He swallows. “They don’t eat gems where you’re from?”
I get the momentary impression that Spike isn’t exactly thrilled with me staying at the library. I can’t say that I am exactly thrilled with this either. But it isn’t like I have munch of a choice. Being booted from your reality leaves you limited on what resources you have. Which of course is none.
“Um. No Spike. Nothing on the world I am from does that. The closest thing we have are birds, but they only eat rocks for most likely the same reason that birds here eat rocks.” I explain.
Spike looks kinda bored with my explanation and continues to much his gems. Meanwhile, Twilight has her nose in a book on how to make basic breakfasts. Her nose in a book doesn’t surprise me. What is surprising me is that she is actually cooking.
“Um so...Twilight. I never thought you to be the cooking type...” I explain.
She looks over her shoulder and cracks a few eggs into a hot skillet while at the same time putting a couple of slices of bread into the toaster. “Well, when you have somepony who is pretty much depending on you for...almost everything...you learn that you have all sorts of special secret talents.” She pours the eggs onto a plate and plucks the freshly toast from the air. The oranges get sliced up and then she places something else that I can’t see on the plate. She then levitates the plate right in front of me. “And speaking of special talents...what is yours?”
I blink looking at what is on my plate. There is eggs, toast, a sliced up orange and...”Hay?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes while pouring the apple juice. “What about it?”
I cringe. “I’m not eating hay, Twilight.”
She gives me a stern look. “Ponies eat hay, Heartbreak.”
“I’ll eat the eggs, I’ll eat the toast and oranges, like I told you like two days ago. I’m not eating hay.” I reply.
“Ponies need hay, Heartbreak.” Twilight repeats.
“It doesn’t agree with me, Twilight.” I tell her, perhaps she’ll buy that lie.
“Have you ever eaten hay before, Heartbreak?” She asks me.
“Fuck,” I think to myself. “I’ve chewed on it before.” I explain twirling my hoof.
“Then you haven’t eaten it before,” She tells me.
I stare at the plate, everything else is growing cold just because I am arguing with Twilight about eating hay. My stomach on the other hand is starting to growl and gurgle even more.
“You could at least try a little and decide whether or not you like it,” She says. “If you don’t, then I won’t offer it to you again.”
“Fffffffffffffine.” I reply. Ugh. I lower my face to the plate and gingerly take a nibble on the hay that is presented to me. Chewing it, I half expect it to taste like something other than hay. It of course doesn’t. Twilight is smiling a bit as I chew.
“Bleh! Ugh! Napkin please!” The hay tastes like well, like hay. Dried, crunchy, grassy...grass. She sighs and a napkin floats to my face. I spit the hay out and smack my lips to get rid of the taste. Little splinters of hay still linger on my tongue.
“I almost think that was for show Heartbreak.” Twilight says.
“I assure you, that wasn’t a show. I didn’t eat hay where I am from alright?” I respond.
“What did you eat where you were from?” Spike asks dumping the remaining gems into his mouth.
“Um...Everything on this plate with the exception of hay.” I reply. I am leaving everything else vague cause I really don’t want to explain that humans will eat practically anything. Horses included in some countries. Twilight rolls her eyes and I look at the glass of apple juice. She was kind enough to put a straw in the glass. I start sucking up it through the straw. At least that tastes pretty damn good.
“Right. Back to your special talent, Heartbreak.” Twilight begins.
Spike looks over at my flank and scratches his head. “I can’t think of any job where breaking hearts is the best special talent to have.”
My eye twitches involuntarily. “It’s not a cutie mark.”
Twilight blinks. “It’s not?”
I bend down and start munching on the toast. “No. It’s a branding.”
Twilight looks a bit horrified. “A branding?” She asks.
I slurp up an egg. “Yes Twilight, you know, where a white hot piece of metal is used to sear the flesh of a being to denote ownership of that being?”
“I know what branding is, Heartbreak. I just didn’t think...they branded you?” She asks. I simply nod and eat an orange slice. She blinks. “That actually answers one of my questions. When I first saw you, I thought that you didn’t have a cutie mark, but in the confusion of that night, I wasn’t terribly sure...But that raises another question.”
“If that question is ‘How?’ Twilight,” I gobble a piece of toast. “Then the answer is I don’t know. Magic?” Twilight grimaces at that answer. “What?”
“It’s just...I’m not used to hearing magic being used in a way that would harm others. Most magic is used to help others,” Twilight explains.
I give her my ‘are you serious’ look. “Sure it is, Twilight. And I am sure the ‘want it-need it’ spell is just a harmless little spell that helps ponies realize that they want-slash-need something.”
Twilight gives me a rather unnerved look. “Um well...It’s not as bad as some magic out there.”
“Oh of course not, Twilight.” I finish up my eggs, toast and then finally the apple juice. “Some of the more darker spells involve ripping memories from other’s minds.”
“Soooo! What exactly is your special talent, Heartbreak?” Spike interjects.
Twilight sighs a bit looking at me sternly, I don’t like the fact that I am starting to argue with her, but damn it. I’m right about this. If there is an idea or an action I am sure there is a spell for it.
“Right, today is the day we find out what your special talent is, Heartbreak,” Twilight says. I kinda want to state that maybe my special talent is bickering or causing others to question themselves, but I have already had my early morning argument.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Twilight asks me.
“Why bother? It would only sound snide and-” I roll my eyes. Even that sounds a bit sarcastic. I push the empty plate aside and frump down on the table. Twilight looks like she is trying to calm herself down.
“Look H.B. This is a learning experience for the both of us. I have never been a teacher before. A little criticism is something I should expect.” She looks at me. “With that said, if you could try to do as Rainbow Dash suggested and think about what you are about to say...”
I look at Twilight and a small smile creeps on my face. She blinks in a slightly confused manner. “But Twilight, if I did that, then I would be suffering from a terrible case of hoof-in-mouth disease.”
Twilight blinks and then giggles slightly. “Was that a joke?” She asks me.
“Yes. A terrible one at that. Hoof-in-mouth isn’t something to really be laughed at..I looked it up one time. Rather unpleasant.” I look thoughtful. “Special talent...Right, what I was going to say is that if the Cutie Mark Crusaders have taught me anything, is that you can’t really figure out your special talent overnight.” I roll my eyes. “Even if theirs were practically staring them in the faces.” Spike coughs a little on a gem bit and gives Twilight that look of “creeeepy”.
“Um...Yeah...that’s true, however there are things that you must be good at right?” Twilight asks me.
“Well yes...there were many things I was good at...but now I can’t do them anymore...” I can feel my ears drooping down.
“Um why not?” She asks.
“Because I have hooves Twilight, and that would interfere in anything that could be possibly called a special talent.” I say lifting my right hoof and placing it on the table.
“It doesn’t stop other ponies.” Spike says. “How would hooves stop you from doing the thing that makes you, you?”
“Yeah, How can hooves stop you from doing something that you love?” Twilight asks me.
I roll my eyes again. Geeze, if I rolled them anymore, they’d get away from me. “Because what I love to do is create.”