//------------------------------// // Princess Celestia's Uneventful Day // Story: Just Like Us // by syrograph //------------------------------// It was more than I could take. The suspense was killing me, waiting for this nameless stallion so I could reveal my singular ambition. He was strong, there was no doubting that; whether he'd be strong enough to show a little mare like me a thing or two was another matter. I certainly had plans for him. The bridle in my saddlebags was testament enough to that. I hoped I wouldn't be too much for him to handle; then again, being too much was all part of the fun. He soon returned from the washroom, freshened up and ready to see me. His enormous hooves were no longer dirty from his long stint in the fields, but I could tell that the dirt ran much deeper in this one. “You ready, lil' filly?” he asked me, strutting up with an overconfident smile on his chiselled face. “I uh, I know I'm usually one for plowin' fields, but a plowpony's work is never done.” I tried not to cringe at the come-on. I'd already made it this far, so I made sure he was in for a nasty surprise. “Well, I'll be sure to make you work extra hard if you want your... payoff.” I smirked, running my tongue along my lips. “Would you do something for me?” “Well sure, miss! I love to please the mares. What d'you have in mind?” “I want you to squeal when I f-” “Princess?” Celestia looked up from her book, lounging comfortably on her couch. “Is there something the matter?” The messenger pegasus caught his breath. “I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, Your Highness, but an urgent matter has arisen in the court. There is some confusion as to the current tax rates and levies imposed on market workers in-” “I'm sure my chancellor can see to that. I have also briefed Luna on the issue, so she can help if needs be. Is that all?” The messenger looked slightly confused by Celestia's apparent apathy; usually she was very much hooves-on in such affairs. “I... I think so, Princess.” “Then you may go.” Celestia dismissed him, engrossing herself in her book once more. “Yes, Your Highness, at once.” The pegasus left, carefully closing the doors behind him. “Let's find out where this novel is... going...” As she read on, she wondered quite how this series was getting such glowing reviews from its readers. “Oh my! Th-this is... terrible... awful, filth!” She closed the book at once, putting it face-down on the coffee table to avoid seeing the cheesy cover image. “This is what passes for literature now? No wonder I've not read in so long.” She shook her head, standing up and heading out of the room. Maybe it was time to get involved in the market workers' business after all. ~~ “Sister, you really should lighten up! The traders are irate about their tax increase, so what? You're their ruler, right? You decide what sacrifices are necessary for the good of the nation!” Luna tried to cheer Celestia up, trotting along beside her to keep up with her fast, lengthy strides. “How about a good old-fashioned public shaming? Put a bridle on the ring-leader and march him around Canterlot, shave his mane, that sort of thing.” “Luna, I really wish Discord wouldn't talk to you when I'm not around. He keeps putting ideas in your head.” “Yes, but sometimes he has really good ideas.” “We are not tyrants, you know that!” Celestia rolled her eyes. “I-I know... I was just... joking?” Luna laughed nervously. Of course they weren't tyrants! “I mean... who puts bridles on ponies now? That is... so last millennia.” “It was necessary in times of war and civil unrest, as much as I hate to admit it. Now it is barbaric and unseemly. Public shaming has not been used as a punishment for over a thousand years.” “It really does show them their place, though.” Luna had a point. Still, Celestia wasn't about to violate her own long-standing morals to keep the traders quiet. “Look Luna, I know you are just trying to cheer me up with these wild ideas, but I am really not in the mood for joking right now. I have had a fairly rough afternoon and I could do with some time alone.” “But – ” Luna's ears drooped. “ – you said we'd spend the evening playing Buckyball; you promised.” Her little sister's plea hit her where it hurt, her insides twisting with guilt. “I... I did.” She certainly wasn't up to such strenuous physical exercise at that moment. “Luna, I'm sorry; I am really tired right now. How about you come and wake me up early at the end of your watch and we'll play ball before sunrise?” ~~ Luna hadn't willingly accepted the idea at first, but her sister finally convinced her. Celestia would admit that the puppy-dog eyes were nearly irresistible, but she felt so tired. “What a day.” she sighed as she flopped on to her bed. “Maybe I should take a nap before dinner.” She settled on top of the luxuriant duvet, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. The smell of freshly laundered cotton was calming to her. Her quarters were her place of sanctuary, a place to unwind and relax, to forget about the day's tedium. It was a cushy life, living as a monarch, but sometimes she wished for a little more excitement; it was often hard to come by in Equestria. She looked around, taking in the usual, comforting sights of her bedroom: the silken curtains, the golden furniture, the marble walls; this was solace. When all was going wrong in parliament, in the courts, in the foreign ministry, she knew she could retreat to this place of familiarity. And yet, something wasn't right. She glanced about, trying to figure out what was bothering her; something was different, but she couldn't put her hoof on it. The vase was on its stand, the mirror on the wall, the curtains open and tied, the drawers and the wardrobe polished; not one thing was out of place, except... “Oh no.” Celestia blushed at the sight; issue one of Fifty Shetlands Grey was stood upright on her bedside table. Somepony must have moved it when they were tidying up, perhaps putting it on display as some kind of practical joke. She was so embarrassed; she had no idea what the book was about when she purchased it, but what must her staff think of her now? “I should send this to the moon!” she hissed. She opened a drawer from across the room and roughly stashed the book away, her magic moving it with such force it could have shattered teeth. She huffed as she placed her head on the covers. “I should get some rest.” she muttered, trying not to think about the maids and what gossip might have been fluttering about. An hour passed, but sleep did not come; she tried every conceivable position to send her off, but to no avail. Her frustration and boredom grew as she realised it was impossible. She groaned and sat up, sighing deeply. “Forget it.” She glared at the drawer, knowing that the offending tome was still in there. She resorted to her tried and tested method of coping; a stern lecture. “Horrid book! They found you in my quarters and I am probably the laughing stock of Equestria right now, all because I had no idea what you were about.” She scowled for a while before she realised how silly this all was. She couldn't help but chuckle at her own expense. “I've inflicted bridle and bit torture on ponies who have caused me less embarrassment; you are lucky you're a book and don't possess a muzzle.” Celestia sighed again, finally shrugging the anxiety off; she was the ruler of Equestria, anypony could think what they wanted about her and she'd still be The Princess. She rolled her eyes and retrieved the book again, watching it sail towards her in a yellow haze. She tutted as she saw the cover, a farmhoof in working gear, the brim of his hat obscuring his eyes. “My goodness, what liberal times we live in.” A thousand years saw Equestria change in many ways, and most of it Celestia was glad for; the happiness of her subjects was the most important aspect of her job and she had eventually realised it was their personal freedoms that brought it about. “Well, it is none of my business what they get up to in their spare time.” She set the book down in front of her, still finding the cover amusingly cheesy. Fetching a deck of playing cards from her bedside table, she began setting out a game of solitaire to pass the time before dinner. The game was going well; she had already found all four aces and was working at finding the kings. She stopped for a moment to get an overview of the cards, planning her next few moves, but something was distracting her. She frowned and shook her head, risking another glance at the book to her right. Maybe it was good to some ponies, but definitely not her. She turned a few more cards over from the top of the deck, looking for another chain. A second glance. Just what was the protagonist going to do with that bridle? They were only used for public discipline centuries ago, weren't they? Could it be less foul than she had thought? Perhaps it was going to be a mystery or an adventure story instead. She picked up the book, turning back to where she left off; for the sake of knowing, she would persevere. “Celestia? Oh, there you are!” Luna exclaimed as she casually wandered in to her sister's room. Celestia quickly hid her book under the pillow. “What have you been up to? We're waiting for you in the main hall; dinner is served.” “I-I was just taking a nap.” She had to think on her hooves. “You... woke me up, Luna; that's very uh... rude of you.” “Rude, dear sister? We've been waiting for nearly twenty minutes; I think keeping your guests waiting is rather ruder, don't you?” Luna's irate tone shot down any defences she had. “Guests?” Celestia's eyes widened. “Of course! You remember, right; Twilight and Cadence? You invited them over for a banquet just last week.” Luna frowned; Celestia wasn't normally this forgetful. “Yes, yes of course.” she lied. “I just wasn't... feeling very well.” “Oh my, are you okay? Is it the Filly Fever coming back? Twilight said it can do that.” “I – ” Celestia coughed, “ – I think it might be.” “Hm, your cheeks are rather red; I shall have to fetch the apothecary at once!” Her sister turned to leave. “No, wait! I'm dealing with it; I will be fine.” There was an awkward silence. “You... you go and have dinner without me; I will be down to see you all when I'm feeling up to it.” “But sister, Cadence has travelled an awfully long way to be here; she's not left the Crystal Empire in months. Twilight is getting rather restless as well, but I suppose that's just her.” “I'm sorry Luna, I-” “If it's the Fever, you won't get them sick; could you perhaps at least stay for the starter?” Luna pouted, feeling bad for the other princesses as they sat waiting in the dining hall. “I... suppose I could try...” “Great! Will you be long? I know you might want to freshen up a little first.” “I'll be down in five minutes; go ahead and start without me.” Celestia gave a reassuring smile, waiting for Luna to leave. “Hurry though, Celestia; the soup will be getting cold.” Luna left, to Celestia's relief. She fished the book out from under her pillow, glad that she had not seen it. Some of the pages were battered and crumpled, for a moment she felt remorse well up inside; treating a book with so little respect was shameful, but, she reminded herself, it was by no means fine literature. Still, she only had a few pages to go before the end of the chapter. “Well, I've got some time.” She read on. A knock at her bedroom door brought her to attention; she looked up, casually sliding the book under the covers. “Princess Celestia?” the voice of her student sounded from the other side. “Are you feeling okay?” “Twilight? Yes, I'm feeling fine, thank you.” Without asking for permission, Twilight opened the door and stepped in. “It's just you've been up here for half an hour, and we're worried about you.” She was wearing her crown, part and parcel of being a princess. “I came to see if you needed any help.” “Help with what?” “I... I don't know. Anything?” Twilight thought through her offer; what exactly would Celestia even need help with? “I'm quite all right, thank you Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia smiled. The blush on her cheeks returned; keeping secrets was much harder than she remembered. “Well, why don't you join us for dinner? The main course is on its way.” Twilight raised an eyebrow; she always knew when something wasn't right. Celestia had to think quickly, or Twilight would definitely find out the truth. “I mean... I'm quite ill, but I am coping well.” “I see...” “Yes, so...” she paused to cough “... if you don't mind, I need some rest.” “I thought you were 'coping well'.” Twilight started to walk over to her bed, looking her up and down suspiciously. “I am coping well enough not to need medical attention, but I'm still sick.” “Uh huh.” She didn't sound convinced, but she stopped advancing. “Would you like me to bring you something to eat, then?” Celestia thought about it; some food would be nice. If she could keep on playing the 'oh woe is me, I'm dying' card, she could avoid having to leave the room to get it. “That would be most gracious of you, Twilight.” “Okay, well I'm going to just... get you some food.” She left slowly, taking a moment to glance over her shoulder; Celestia stayed unnaturally still until she finally disappeared into the hallway. The door was still open, but she was sure she could hear anypony coming long before they would be able to see her. Of course, she was only thinking of ponies who walked; she removed the book from under the covers and resumed reading, but it wasn't long before Twilight suddenly appeared in the door-frame and trotted to the foot of her bed. “Okay, I got you some roasted-” She paused, mouth agape; the tray she had brought with her dropped to the floor with a crash. Celestia stared in stunned silence; how could she have not seen this coming? Twilight spent a while trying to compute what she was seeing. She had heard all about Fifty Shetlands Grey, and now she was in the presence of her centuries-old mentor, in front of whom was a copy of the very same book. “Celestia!” Twilight dropped all formality, feeling violated by the very thought of what the princess might want with such a poorly-written, cheap, nasty book in the first place. Celestia hid the book once more, though it did no good; it was far too late. She felt like she'd been caught with the stallion next door by her parents. She stammered and blushed, avoiding Twilight's accusing gaze; she had never been so embarrassed in all her life. “It's... not what it looks like.” She saw that her only option was to keep on digging. “It's not mine; I'm holding it for a friend.” Lying was exceptionally difficult; far more-so than she remembered. Twilight gawked, not wanting to believe it. “What in Equestria do you think you're doing?” she hissed, rushing to her side and snatching the book away. “Why do you have this?” “I don't know.” Celestia felt ridiculous, being scolded by her student. “I just found it and I was going to take it back to the original owner and then I got sick and-” “No, no, this is yours; this is yours by royal decree!” Twilight flipped to the back page; Celestia's sun emblem was printed in gold ink on the cheap paper. “You ordered this book!” She was cornered. Why did she have to take such smart students in the first place? Why couldn't she have taken on someone less astute? “Twilight, I just didn't know, really! I heard very little about it, but one of my messengers told me it was very popular.” “And do you know why it's popular?” Twilight snapped. Celestia knew very well why, but she played dumb; she shook her head. “Because it's for lonely mares who need a cheap thrill in their boring lives! This really isn't becoming of you, Princess!” “Hold on just a minute!” Celestia spoke up sternly. “How dare you talk to me like that; how dare you tell me what is becoming of me!” She scowled, rising up from her bed and looming over her. Twilight was suddenly in two minds about all of this; she hated the idea that Celestia possibly enjoyed the story, but she also didn't want to push her too far. “I had no idea what the story was about, but I am giving it a chance! You, of all ponies, should know that you should never judge a book by its cover!” “Or by the first twelve chapters?” She couldn't resist. Celestia looked back to the book, realising that she should have removed her ornate bookmark. “N-no, not by that either...” “All I'm saying is, you really should consider what your subjects will think if they find out about this. I'm just trying to look out for you, Princess; you're my teacher, my mentor, and above all you are my friend. I just don't want everypony to get the wrong ideas.” Twilight tried to be more friendly, hoping that she hadn't caused too much damage already. “I... I understand.” Celestia bowed her head, knowing that she was right; everypony would laugh, ruler or not. “Perhaps I should stop reading, for my own good.” “I think that would be the best choice, Princess.” They nodded to each other. “Well–” Celestia tucked the book away under her pillow; she would deal with it later. “– since my dinner has made friends with the floor tiles, perhaps I should head down after all.” “Yeah, sorry about that.” Twilight chuckled nervously as she started to pick it up. “Do not worry Twilight, I employ ponies for that; it will be cleared before I get back.” She was still not used to her elevated status, so felt bad about leaving the shattered plate behind. “Let's go; I do not wish to leave Cadence waiting any longer.” The feast continued without incident; it was a wonderful evening full of fine cuisine and lively conversation. After everything that Celestia had put up with, after what Twilight had seen, she finally felt that she could shake off the embarrassment. She made a note to dispose of the book the following morning, but it could wait. It was safely hidden under her pillow, away from prying eyes; sleep was the only thing left on her mind. She left Luna to her duty of guarding the night, her hunger satisfied, then laid herself to rest. ~~ Her sleep was peaceful, serene; even with the stresses of the previous day, with the confusing allure of the cheap paperback, she felt calm and collected. That was, of course, until Luna came to wake her. “Celestia...” she whispered, rocking her sleeping sister by the shoulder. “Celestia, awaken...” She spluttered awake, grunting gracelessly as she rolled over. “What... what is it?” Celestia yawned, pulling herself upright. “It is not yet time for the Sun to rise; why have you disturbed me? Is there a problem?” “No, no problem at all.” Luna smiled at her, her pristine teeth seeming to glow in the dim moonlight. Celestia huffed. “Then why did you wake me; was there any need?” She could vaguely make out the object that Luna presented to her; it was spherical, encased in what appeared to be finely-knitted burlap bound with latex. “... Really?” “You did promise me!” Luna frowned, hoping that she remembered. “I did?” “Yes, dear sister! You said we could play Buckyball before dawn!” She sounded disappointed, as though she expected another rejection. Celestia felt guilty, not wanting to let her down again. “I suppose I did; are you not tired after your watch?” Luna vigorously shook her head; oh how Celestia envied her youthfulness. “First to twenty points!” Luna bounded away, stopping to look back at her sister before she left. “I shall race you to the courts!” “Wait a moment.” Celestia grumbled, rubbing her eyes; she was still half-asleep. “Let me just- oof!” she yelped as she tumbled out of bed, pulling the sheets off after her. Luna lit a lamp, rushing to check on her. “Are you hurt?” “I am fine, Luna; let me stand.” She righted herself, shaking her mane out to blow the cobwebs of sleep away. “Let's go, shall we?” “Celestia?” “Yes?” “What, pray-tell, is that?” Celestia looked down at her feet, where Luna was pointing. “Fifty... Shetlands... Grey...” she read the title upside-down. “Is it a novel?” “It's nothing!” Celestia kicked it under the bed, suddenly panicking. “It's nothing at all; let's go play some ball! We're racing, remember?” She galloped away, forcing some joyous laughter to encourage her. “Just a moment, We must know what this book is about; the title is most intriguing!” “Oh, I... I'll tell you about it while we play, okay?” she bargained, urging her sister not to dig for the book; it didn't look as though Luna would comply, but after a while she agreed. “Well, We suppose the best reviews come from the readers. Let us go!” She scampered away, none the wiser. Celestia sighed in relief, taking off to chase her down the hallway. ~~ Out on the Buckyball courts, Celestia began stretching her legs, not wanting to pull anything. She was not one for quick physical activity, at least with Luna out of the way for a thousand years; she never had much of a chance to play sports or exercise with her younger sister absent. Due to her rustiness, she opted to wear the full set of armoured pads; Buckyball was known to leave one looking as though they'd rolled off a cliff. “What are you doing, dear sister?” Luna asked, balancing the ball on her wrist. “I am stretching my muscles; it is always a good idea to warm up beforehoof.” “We never sustained a muscular sprain during an athletic event, even without stretching prior.” Celestia rolled her eyes; Luna's youthful, boundless energy did pry loose a few flecks of jealousy, though she would never admit it. “Let's just get started, okay?” Luna didn't give warning; the only sound Celestia heard before hitting the ground in a daze was a distinct 'ping'. Her cheek stung fiercely as she watched the ball bouncing away across the blue-stained clay through watering eyes. “My apologies, sister; We thought you were ready.” Her gloating made Celestia's anger stir in her gut; it took a lot to get her upset, but Luna was an expert in the field of provocation. “Is that one point to Us?” The game continued, Luna getting a firm head-start early on. Celestia's cheeks were hot, stinging in the cool morning air. One too many hits to the face drove her temper right up. The floodlights that lit the court were dazzling, especially through the tears. "Luna, stop!" Celestia landed hard, skidding to a halt as she narrowly avoided yet another jaw-rattler. Panting, she removed the somewhat useless helmet and set it down on the clay. "I need rest." "It is not half-of-time yet!" Luna pointed to the clock, still ticking down above the court. "Stop the clock then, I need to catch my breath." Celestia limped to the benches, stripping some more armour from her flank and letting it fall. "Get back here! I haven't finished with you yet!" Her competitive nature was really begining to grate. "Oh, put a hoof in it, will you?" Luna scowled. "Well! I never..." She grumbled, heading over to retrieve the ball, then retired to the furthest end of the bench to get a bottle of water. Celestia stared at the far end of the court, avoiding her sister's gaze. She removed her gum-shield, the golden plastic shimmering in the magnesium-white light. The only sound, other than her heartbeat furiously pounding in her ears, was of Luna making slightly-too-loud remarks about Celestia's age and figure. "I never... slices of cake... exercise wouldn't hurt... not going to kill you..." Celestia sighed, rubbing her temples and gritting her teeth. "... was only tapping it... cry about it?" "Luna!" she snapped. "That is enough!" Her voice echoed off the alabaster walls surrounding the courtyard, fading in to the night. Luna, for the following moment, looked terrified. Her eyes flicked up to the moon, then back to her sister. Celestia was baring her teeth, brow furrowed. "... I am sorry." she peeped, playing with the star-field of her mane and avoiding her eyes. "I just get very caught up in the majesty of it all." "Majesty? This sport is simply barbaric at times." "Glorious and stirring!" "Violent and unnecessary!" Celestia leaned in to her shout, feeling a muscle twang in her ribs. Doubling over, she coughed. "Ah, shh-" She took a sharp breath. "- sugarlumps." Luna trotted to her side. "Are you okay, dear sister?" "It is but a stitch." she wheezed, clutching at her chest. "I will be fine." It was only up close that Luna could see the effects of her new favourite passtime. Celestia's cheeks were sore and swollen, the skin around her left eye darkening with every passing second. A red, circular welt bloomed on her neck where her last buckshot had caught her. "Celestia..." "What? What is it now?" "I am sorry. I didn't realise that I was kicking so hard." "You think so?" Celestia let her anger out piece by piece. "It's just, to score, I needed to knock you-" "Down? Out cold? Into orbit?" Luna's worried eyes passed over the moon again. "Sister, please. I didn't mean to hurt you." "I'm sure." Celestia stood, stretching out her wings. "But then, that's the whole goal of this ridiculous sport, isn't it?" She headed for the gate. "I'm going to get breakfast." "Celestia, wait." Luna whined, catching up with her. "I really am sorry!" She thought of anything that might distract her, digging through their recent conversations. "Tell me, uh... about that book you were reading earlier." "Look!" Celestia turned, forcing her to stop dead, leaning back to avoid crashing into her. "I am tired and sore, and the last thing I want is for you to interrogate me about that vile book!" Luna gulped. "Understood?" She nodded. With that, Celestia disappeared through the open door, her hoofsteps loud on the marble. Luna sat on the cold flagstones, removing her helmet. "I only wanted to spend time with you." ~~ After raising the sun, Celestia took her breakfast alone, choosing to eat in her chambers. She nursed her black eye with a cold compress, cursing her sister for having such strong legs. Sitting in front of her mirror, she checked her neck. The swelling was going down. "I hate that awful game." she grumbled, picking at a slice of toast. A snide comment about 'ponies these days' caught on her tongue as she remembered the jousting tournaments of old. At least nopony had died playing Buckyball, to the best of her knowledge. She sighed, lowering the hand-towel full of ice. A loud pop by her side startled her. She looked down at the floor as a scroll of parchment landed on it. It was sealed with a crest: a pink, six-pointed starburst. "Oh, from Twilight?" She picked it up, levitating it in front of her as she unrolled it. Dear Princess Celestia, I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about the way I spoke to you yesterday. It was really out of line for me to question whatever it is you do in private. I slept quite badly, knowing that I'd upset you, so I just had to write to you. It's perfectly fine with me that you are a fan of E. L. Manes, even if I don't really understand why. Believe me, I wanted to find out what the hype was all about, myself. Her work is of a rather provocative, transgressive nature, and I really can't abide her very basic grasp of modern Ponish. She writes about things I'm not really comfortable reading about. All the same, I am glad you have something to unwind with. I understand how stressful being a princess can be, now! Anyway, I hope your day goes well. I need to head out shortly with Spike and visit Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie has a cake she wants us to take to Fluttershy's tea party later. Sincerely, your faithful student, Twilight Sp Princess Twilight Sparkle. Celestia stifled a giggle. "Fan of E. L. Manes..." She whinnied indignantly. "Yeah, okay." Setting the scroll aside, she stood and stretched, arching her back like a cat. Her joints complained, still recovering from the vigorous game earlier that morning. "I'd best get to work." She had a busy morning ahead. ~~ Lunchtime finally rolled around, albeit late, the Sun still high in the sky. Celestia, still not a fan of E. L. Manes by any stretch of the imagination, carried her copy of Fifty Shetlands Grey (only coincidentally authored by E. L. Manes) out to her private garden. Basking in the warm glow of the afternoon, she sat by a small koi pond and watched the fiery orange fish swimming lazily. She dropped a few pinches of their food into the water, seeing it float on the surface for a moment before it was snapped up. The sight of them enjoying a snack made her smile. "Well, at least you can't judge me." She sat in the partial shade of an old silver birch, the Sun casting tiny rays through the canopy. The next chapter of the book was agonising; the temptation the farmpony felt around this most dominant of mares was fascinating. With only a few more chapters to go, speculation as to the conclusion of this story was driving her mad. Celestia held the book close to her face, engrossed in every tiny detail. She was so enamored with this story of romance, of lust, power and control, that she barely noticed the hoofsteps on the gravel path. "There you are." Celestia leapt up in surprise, dropping her book. It bounced down the hillside and landed with a wet slap on the surface of the pond. "Luna!" she shrieked. "No no no!" She bounded down to the water's edge, fishing it out with a levitation spell. It was soaked. She pranced from hoof to hoof on the spot, biting her lip. "No, it's ruined!" "Oh, dear sister, I am so sorry! I did not mean to startle you." Luna approached Celestia and put her wing around her shoulders. "I was so close to the end!" The Sun princess felt an urge to cry, one she hadn't felt in many years. She just had to know what happened next. "I'm sorry, Tia." Luna tried once more, resting the bridge of her muzzle on the white coat of her neck. Celestia sighed shakily, fighting back a few stray tears. "No, it's okay... It's okay, I can send for a replacement." She sat on the grassy bank, looking defeated. "I had come to talk to you about that very novel, in fact." Luna said, sitting beside her. "A pity that you won't be able to read the final chapters, at least for a while longer." "Yes, a pity." Celestia sighed. "I really wanted to ask you about it; it has been a long while since I've seen you so caught up on a piece of literature." Luna leaned on her, just happy to be close to her again. "But, really, I can see why." "You can?" Her sister looked down at her, puzzled. "Of course." Luna produced a book, a plain hardback, the cover a matte blue. "What is this?" "Why don't you open it and take a look?" She handed it over. Celestia opened the front cover. There, a silver-blue crescent moon was stamped. Above it, the title read 'Fifty Shetlands Grey by E. L. Manes'. "Y-you... you read this?" her quiet question gave way to Luna's excited squealing. "Yes of course! I was up all morning reading it!" The younger princess stood, now hopping up and down on the spot. "I sent for a copy the moment you went to breakfast and I haven't put it down since!" Shouting with excitement like a school-filly, she stared expectantly at her sister. "I know you've not read to the very end, but I simply must know! What did you think of their first time together? Don't you think the farmhoof sounds like the most handsome fellow? Did you know what the tack was for? Wasn't their scene in the showers most riveting?" "Luna!" Celestia stopped her, raising a hoof for silence. "You can't tell me that you really enjoy this... filth. I was simply reading it for the good of the people." Luna stared. Celestia stared back. They both burst out laughing. "Oh my goodness, the scene where she brings out that crop was amazing! When he starts bawling his eyes out because she says 'who's a silly pony?'" "I know! I know! I loved the part where he says 'Yeah, well, bite me!' and she actually does it!" "And when she makes him sign that contract? I've never seen a stallion so nervous; reading it made me feel kind of-" "- Powerful?" "Yeah, let's go with that." Their excited laughter dying down, the both eventually sat back on the grass. Catching her breath, Celestia felt a sense of relief. If Luna was a fan, then surely it wasn't so bad after all. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to borrow your copy so that I can finish it." "It would be my pleasure." Celestia tucked the book away behind her wing, smiling brightly. "I must admit, it was a stroke of genius, removing the dust cover. Why didn't I think of that?" "Oh, I simply spilled coffee on mine." Luna grinned. "Weren't you worried that anypony could have seen what you were reading?" "Not really. After all, I am a princess. It's not like they'd stage a coup just because we read some popular book series." "It's a series?" Celestia asked with her mouth agape. "We simply must get every one of them for our library! Plain covers, of course." "No, we shall keep the artwork. It is most... exciting." Luna said with a titter. "As far as the peasantry and their opinions are concerned, they can go and fuck themselves."