//------------------------------// // Up in the Air // Story: Bad Apples // by Rox //------------------------------// April 18 Big Macintosh said his first words! Okay, it was kind of a first word. Lily was feeding him some mushed apples for breakfast and was doing the whole "here comes the choo-choo" routine when he said, "yup!" Ma Smith said she thought he just hiccuped, and I did too until he kept saying it all day. Until bedtime when he learned his second word, "nope." Cheeky kid. Apple Leaves also visited today, holding the hoof of some stallion named Happy Trails. I guess he's a decent fellow and I've never seen my sister so keen for anypony before. It's probably just the brother in me that makes me want to throttle him every time he even looks at her. I think he's been avoiding me all day. Apple Leaves tried to get the details out of us just how we came by the extra bits that we're using to get by until the first Applebuck season, a story I left to Lily Bloom to tell. She spun a simple tale about taking out an investment from a little mare in Manehatten but left it at that. But supper got really weird when Apple Leaves started talking about, well, us. "They say it was the most daring holdup since Bell Star stole the Sultan of Saddle Arabia's diamond belt!" she said. "I read that Calamity Mane can control her hair like a lasso, and I hear that Sundance Colt was quite the stallion to look at. I wouldn't mind seein' him around someday." That was really awkward. Lily and I sat there smiling and nodding as my sister and her new boyfriend retold the story that I tell you is getting more and more out of hoof. It was just one bank and three guards but the way they're telling it now we cleaned out the vault and beat half of the Royal Guard. I always thought that stories like that needed a couple of generations to go by before they got this crazy. Maybe it's just that nothing interesting has happened in a while. Equestria has been mighty peaceful lately. Big Mac's crying in the other room, so I better get him. It's Lily's turn to sleep anyway. April 22 Lily Bloom, Pearl, and a few of the other gals in town decided to have a "mare's night out" and Magnum apparently had some conference he had to go to in Fillydelphia so I'm here alone with the colt. He started off small but he's gaining strength every single day. I watched him buck an apple tree earlier today and he managed to knock off a couple. Impressive for a foal his size to say the least. It just occurred to me that Lily will probably read this later so I better say I didn't let him try any more after that so he didn't hurt himself. The farm seems quieter all the time now. It's just so peaceful that I think just I'm getting bored. Ma Smith noticed I think because she gave me this talk about finding more friends. Maybe I do, or maybe I'm just itching for something more. I don't know, because I really couldn't be happier here with Lily Bloom and Big Macintosh. It's just weird. June 3 It's been a little while and I think that it my turn to write in our secret journal. The contrast in subject matter between some of these entries is certainly unusual. Today we had our first family outing to Ponyville today, by which I mean Red Apple and I brought Big Macintosh along. It was his first time seeing the town and he was more curious than a cat the entire time, pointing to everything and looking up in starry eyed wonder at anything new. While I did the shopping Red Apple had to spend all of his energy making sure our son didn't get away, a venture he always succeeded at a time or two. He can say about a dozen words or so now, but the one he says the most is definitely a very pronounced "Yep!" I think he picked that up from me. He also has the appetite of a pony about ten times his size, which poor Carrot Cake learned the hard way when he presented a whole tray of sample cupcakes and Big Macintosh devoured them post haste. All that sugar rushed to his head caused some ponies to think he as a little pegasus as he scooted around the floor. We ran into the Rich family for the first time in a while. Really Rich is as gruff as ever, but he seems to have given up his crusade against our family for the time being. I imagine his wife has something to do with that and his own colt starting to get into the family business has also probably started to occupy more of his thoughts. Though for the life of me I cannot understand why they named him Filthy Rich. I can't imagine anypony being particularly pleased with that name growing up. Fillies and colts can be rather thoughtless when it comes to things like that, even if it is a family name. Anyway, summer is really getting into full swing. Orange Seed is out of school for the break and seems to spend a fair amount of his time getting into trouble. Red has had to chase him out of the barn more than once, which makes me think he needs a hobby. The flowers are out in full bloom now. It's a wonder Ponyville is not famous for its flowers. There are several skilled florists here that produce the most beautiful bouquets. Their gardens beautify a whole block. Everyday is a day in paradise I suppose. July 4 This idea is just plumb crazy, and I think we're about to cross a point of no return. But I love it! And today started out so normal. I think I'll start with this morning's paper. I was in town selling apples as usual when I thought I'd buy the paper during my lunch break at Sugar Cube Corner, and there were two stories that caught my eye. The first was the newest article with some hotshot reporter trying to figure out who robbed the Sundance Bank. They guessed two ex-cons from Pampony Beach this time. But the other was about a new controversy in Cloudsdale. Apparently some bigwig got in trouble for being a mite unfair to his customers of his bank up there. Something about illegally high interest rates and a lot of foreclosures, but at any rate ponies were mad because the most the bugger got was community service. Now I always get a little touchy about somepony picking on the little guy, be cause the Apple Family is often that little guy in a manner of speaking. When I got home that night around the dinner table I mentioned the little story casually. Ma Smith raised a ruckus about it, which Big Mac laughed loudly at as Lily tried to feed him. But it was after dinner that Lily and I began talking about it. "That guy needs to be taken down a peg or two I'd say," Lily said. "Well, maybe Celestia will take notice," I suggested. "Not to disparage our Princess, but she generally doesn't do things like that unless somepony brings it front and center," Lily Bloom whispered. "Hey now, she does have to rule over a whole kingdom by herself," I said. Though, I do hear that Celestia got a protege with an nice talent for love magic. Maybe she will get some help soon. "Maybe we should take him down a peg," Lily said. I admit it took me a few moments to understand what she meant. But I got a Maverick-sized grin when I did. As you might guess there was one issue. "But how do we get to Cloudsdale?" I think Lily Bloom must secretly be a mad genius, because that's exactly what her plan is. Honestly, I don't even think I could write all the particulars until they happen. How did I end up with such a smart wife? And that's that. We're going to rob the Cloudsdale Finance and Loan in two days. I guess I better start coming up with an excuse for Ma Smith to travel again. July 6 I can't believe that worked. I know it was my plan but I still can't believe that worked! Sorry, I'm so buzzed right now I can barely focus. Yesterday we left Big Mac in Ma Smith's care with a couple of bushels of apples and a bag of bits. Our first stop was Canterlot where we could buy a couple of items we'd need for our "business trip." The first was a stop by a balloon service to buy tickets, and the second was to a magic shop. I can't believe how expensive cloud walking spells are, but I think we were able to get a good deal between Red's and I's sweet talking. Luckily we had enough for our safety kits as well, should the spell have worn off too quickly. I didn't foresee actually using them. We left this morning for the cloud city, and I confess both of us felt nervous and I was having second thoughts. I knew we had a reason that some might consider noble, but even then I knew what I know now, and that is that we were doing this because we wanted to. Oh, mom is going to be so ashamed when she reads this one day. But there is no going back. Cloudsdale is truly breathtaking and for all appearances lives up to its reputation as the greatest city in the sky. The rainbow factories give off such a warm glow from their rainbow rivers and the weather factory itself was impressive. Not to mention how impressive the architecture the pegasi could do with only clouds as their material. Pegasus magic is truly something amazing to behold. The fact they even have a bank is amazing in itself. I once read that they learned how to make clouds hard enough to support even objects as solid as bits. They even claimed that perhaps one day they could make cloud walking spells obsolete, but I think they're just bragging. We took one bushel of apples to the market place to sell, mostly to establish our alibi, and which we did very quickly to a nice older mare who had a sweet spot for apples. That taken care of, Red Apple and I made our way towards the Cloudsdale Finance and Loan and ducked behind a building. Being careful that nopony saw us, we switched into our disguises and strapped on the the saddle bags with which we would carry the bits, and Red also strapped on that handy little crossbow. He had practiced with it for a few hours this time so he knew how to shoot it, though neither of us planned to need it for anything more than scaring somepony off. We burst through the open doors just like we did in Manehatten. The looks on their faces were absolutely priceless. The two guards on station both just looked at us completely stunned as Red warned them off with the point of the crossbow. I felt like a celebrity as I strutted up to the teller with everypony staring at me. "C'mon, honey. We need four bags of bits and don't dawdle!" I said like I was a teacher sending a student on an errand. It was amazing how fast the white pegasus complied, bringing all four in one trip. I even thanked her as I placed a bag in each side of my saddlebag and then Red did the same thing, shooting a wink at the teller as he did so. He was clearly enjoying the attention as much as I did. He even said, "Thank you for your business!" with a tip of his hat and all the flair of an Applewood actor as we backed out the door and back onto the cumulus streets. This was where the plan got tricky. We originally planned to slip out of costume in another alley and hide the bags in the second bushel of apples we had brought along and hidden near the market just a block or two from the balloon station. But there was a complication. News spread unbelievably fast through the entire city, and ponies were pointing and staring at us with every turn we made. There was just nowhere to hide and so Red and I just had to keep running. That's when I got blindsided by something moving fast. When I stopped sliding and looked up a pink pegasus with blue hair stood straddling over me with the toothy grin. "Wow, I never in a million years thought I'd actually get the chance to come face to face you ya! Calamity Mane!" she said, staring straight into my eyes and her snout fur pressing into my own muzzle. I instinctively kicked with all four hooves straight up, but I only made enough contact to shove her away. She was quick, and I knew that spelled trouble. What also worries me is that I recognized her. She was the same pegasus that had accidentally wrecked our barn, a brash, confident mare named Firefly if I remember correctly. But I guess our disguises were working because I didn't see any recognition in her eyes. "Well, you underestimated us," I said back with a sort of relishing competitiveness, trying to be the opposite of the slightly more understanding mare who's barn she demolished. Firefly shot back a matching expression of determination. I wasn't sure what to do. I'm a pretty scrappy fighter from my delinquent days growing up in Manehatten, but I didn't feel very sure I could take on this speedy athlete, particularly when I was standing on her home cloud and not on the solid earth. "Plan B?" Red whispered into my ear, and whispered back in the affirmative. Then in unison we turned and started sprinting for all were worth towards the south. I watched in my periferals as Firefly, followed by several other pegasi immediately flew in pursuit and were closing ground fast. "Split up!" I said to Red, and though the sweet thing hesitated at the thought of doing so he nodded. He changed direction as smoothly as a deer to charge down another alley way and leaping to a lower cloud level. Looking back I could see it confused the pegasi enough to make them hesitate for a few seconds. And it was to my satisfaction that all of them decided to chase me for some reason. "Gotcha!" Firefly was cocky, but that didn't help her and I wasn't going to fall for the same move twice. I spun and slid on my hind legs like a softball player, causing the pegasus to miss her tackle and somersault on the clouds over and over until she finally careened into a pillar. "Right back at you!" I called back as I continued my run. The other pegasi stopped to pick her up, and I assume she shook them off because I could see her flying after me again. But I had just enough time. "Honey! Over here!" Red Apple was standing where we had agreed, right next to one of the brilliant rainbow falls, and beckoning me over with a hurried wave. "Ready?" I yelled as a I ran towards him, and he parroted the answer. And with that we jumped off the edge of Cloudsdale, diving headfirst like high divers in the Equestria Games. That was the most exhilarating and terrifying thing I have ever done, and we hollered loudly as we sped towards the earth. "You're not getting away that easy!" Behind us the determined pink pegasus was in a sharp dive, a blue contrail that looked like crooked lightning blazing behind her. I glanced at Red, not sure what to do, but he already had a plan. He flipped around so that his back was towards the ground and pointed the crossbow straight up. "Heads up!" he yelled, and with a flex of his hoof let the arrow fly. I watched breathless as the arrow seemed to go in slow motion to meet the streaking flier. Firefly saw it, thank heavens, and dodged down. Fortunately for us, that dive took her right into the rainbow waterfall. With the pegasus distracted and soaked in liquid rainbow, we pulled our parachutes (which had been those emergency kits) and guided them behind the falls and to the ground. We hid quickly behind a rock and folded the parachutes as we watched for any pursuers. Now rainbow stained from head to hoof, Firefly flew around furiously for several minutes, but never spotted them as she ranted and raved about how if we ever showed our faces in Cloudsdale again we wouldn't get away so easily. I think I even heard her rant how her fiance would show the Sundance Colt "a thing or two about real stallions!" Our bags laden with money and our disguises, Red Apple and I made the three hour trek to the nearest railroad station, a little place that had only been put up as an outlet for the rock farmers. Red passed out in a nap while we nuzzled on the bench waiting for the first train to Ponyville, though I was so charged up from our adventure that I still can't sleep even though we didn't get home until late into Celestia's night. I suppose that's why I can write so much detail. I'm sure one day Big Macintosh will find this to be one amazing bed time story. Applejack put the journal down for a moment, overcome by a nostalgic wave. She actually remembered that bedtime story, although her Pa had told it in a third pony perspective and it had involved half the Royal Guard and a band of griffon air pirates when she was told it as a filly. She and Big Mac used to snuggle next to each other on one of their beds, holding their pillows close to their bellies as they listened totally entranced by their Pa's stories. What would she have thought if she had known then that the stories were not only true, albeit with some embellishment, but that they were about her own sweet parents? What did she think now? She kept reading as these feelings began clashing in her heart. July 8 Today, we officially became wanted ponies. It was the headline of the Ponyville Express this very morning. "Princess Celestia declares nationwide ponyhunt for two infamous thieves." Only three heists and already we're in the top 10 most wanted. I was a little surprised to see "attempted murder" as one of the charges before I remembered that I kinda shot an arrow at a pony. I hadn't aimed to hit her so I hope I wouldn't have hit her even if she hadn't of seen it first, but no use crying over spilled milk. Lily Bloom and I have no intention of getting caught, and the description they give is still of a couple of superponies who are much bigger superstars than a couple of humble apple farmers. Meanwhile, I think we finally figured out what we're going to do with the money. There's a large track of land to the south that's undeveloped and unfarmed, and yesterday we noticed that it was for sale. So, we're thinking we'll buy it and plant a new orchard. That way by the time Big Mac's all grown up we'll have an even bigger orchard that will be able to support itself all year round. Speaking of that little tyke, he's talking in almost complete sentences now when he want to, but he still seems to like Yep and Nope more than any other words in the Equestrian language. We also got a letter announcing that Apple Leaves is finally going to tie the knot with Happy Trails. Can't say I'm surprised, those two stuck together like sap on a tree from what I hear, so we all figured it was only a matter of time before they'd make the announcement all official. That means we'll be taking a trip to Yonderhill for the wedding sometime soon. August 15 Apple bucking season is back in full swing as summer wrap up approaches, so we've been mighty busy lately. We also started planting in the new north orchard with 200 seedlings and also a patch of corn. I honestly thought we'd never be able to get all the work done, but being the good friend he is Magnum ran right over and began helping us for free. He wasn't the only one, because Lily's family came over and helped us for several hours. Orange didn't seem to particularly enjoy it but he helped all the same. Even Carrot Cake showed up and helped haul a couple of carts and served a delicious snack. I don't think I could pick a better place to live than Ponyville. Most of the ponies here are just so helpful and all around good folks. It's small enough that not much exciting happens here even if we're so close to the Everfree Forest. It's awfully hard to imagine that ever changing. I think we're going to be a cozy little town where the most exciting thing that happens is Winter Wrap Up being late for a long time. Applejack laughed out loud, but quickly quieted herself so that nopony heard her as she turned the page. If he only knew.