Chapter 4: A Castle of the Soul Hunters, boy, that was quick!
Morning had come and gone, and the gang were back on track, tracking down the Soul Hunters. The forest was quiet this morning... until a muffled scream was heard as two objects zoomed down the dirt road. Bobobo, Don Patch and Beauty were riding on top of a speeding Jelly Jiggler, with Twilight flying close behind. Jelly had tears streaming from his eyes, which fell off the asides of his face due to the speeds that the group was moving at. He had a rope in his mouth, that was held by Bobobo like a sleigh, and he was sliding across the ground.
"So why do you do this to your friends?" Twilight asked from behind the Jelly riding group.
"Because it's fun, that's why!" Bobobo responded without looking back at her. Twilight simply rolled her eyes, this is not how friendship should be... or at least she thought it shouldn't be like this. She shook her head of the thought, no, she will not get any ideas when she reunites with her friends. Beauty was looking ahead, keeping an eye out for anything, as she was looking, she saw an object coming into view in front of them. She squinted her eyes to get a better look, ahead of them, was a castle of some sort. It was no where near as big as Celestia's castle, but it was still a castle.
"Bobobo, there's a castle coming up." She said, however, she didn't relieve a response. "Bobobo?" She asked, looking up at him. Bobobo had fallen asleep while driving his head was tilted to the side, there was a snot bubble coming out of his nose and he was snoring quite loudly. "This is why you should get good sleep!" Beauty yelled, after Pearl Sight's defeat, he, Jelly and Don stayed up partying most of the night, celebrating their second win. And because of this, Bobobo got barely any sleep.
Beauty and Don Patches eyes bulged out of their head as they neared the front doors of the castle. Twilight's eyes widened, flying up to avoid ramming it to the door. The four however, plowed right through it, everyone screaming out in pain. As the smoke and debris cleared, the four where seen laying on the ground, Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler twitched in pain, Beauty was coughing a bit from the wreckage, and Bobobo... was still asleep, laying on the ground, soon waking up with a pop of the snot bubble. He raised up into a sitting position, stretching his arms and letting out a rather loud yawn.
"Wow, what a restful nap." Bobobo said casually, he hadn't even realized what had happened just now.
"How was that restful?!" Twilight questioned, her eyes bulging out of her head. She was currently helping Beauty back to her feet, having landed a few seconds ago. Beauty thanked her, turning to Bobobo, about ready to badger him... until she saw what was behind the clearing smoke.
"Uh, guys?" She got everyone's attention, pointing forward. Everyone looked, once the smoke completely cleared, standing there, were hundreds of the Soul Hunter's robots, all their L.E.D. eyes looking directly at the group. Some of the robots were just staring at them while there were in the middle of doing choirs, frozen. Two robots were seen sweeping the ground, one was seen mowing the lawn, and another was seen trimming a bush. The two groups stared at each other for what felt like hours. Suddenly, the visors of the robots turned from black with their red eyes to completely red, presumedly realizing that their enemy had broken through the gates. All the robots dropped what they were doing and, with a metallic battle cry, all charged at the heroes.
Bobobo jumped back up to his feet, facing the robots.
"Twilight, quickly, take Beauty and get to a safe place!" Bobobo yelled out, not even facing them. Twilight wanted to put up an argument, but she would be risking her and Beauty's life. Without another hesitant moment, she nodded, picking Beauty up with her magic and placing her on her back. She than ran off, leaving the three stooges on their own to fight off the hordes of robots. Speaking of stooges, a certain orange and blue one were currently trying to sneak away from the fight unnoticed. However, Bobobo was aware of their plan, he did a full one-eighty, spinning around as if he were on a turntable, facing the two.
"You two aren't going anywhere!" Bobobo yelled out, grabbing Jelly by the head, and Don by a thorn. They both tensed up, before being thrown into the air, screaming as they went up. "Go and be the distractions!" Bobobo yelled out to them, just as they landed in the crowd of robots. All the robots stopped their charge and just stared at the two, said two who sat in the middle of the crowd with fear.
"Uh... pie?" Don Patch asked, pulling out a pie from nowhere and showing it to the metal ponies. Without another second wasted, the robots were on them like (American) football players, all pilling up on the two. Their muffled screams could be heard from underneath the pile up. Meanwhile, a small group of robots went after Bobobo, thinking they could take him on by himself.
"Alright then, Super Fist of the Nose Hair!" He announced, a bright light consuming him. Once the light faded, Bobobo was seen riding a red street sweeper, headed for the robots. "Vroom, Vroom goes the sweeper!" The human called out, running over multitudes of robots, all of which were crushed or taken apart by the vehicle. Once the wave of bots were gone, Bobobo got of the the car, then proceeding to kick it towards the pile of robots, all of them screaming in pain, including Jelly and Don. Once Jelly Jiggler was back on the ground, Bobobo grabbed him by the legs and began swinging him around. "Time to make a twister!" Bobobo yelled. After about twenty spins, a tornado finally formed, sucking in Don Patch and many of the robots in the area.
Within the tornado, the robots were smashing into each other, meanwhile, Don Patch was giving yoga lessons to some robots (how he got them to listen, both our would and Equestria will never know)... inside the freaking tornado!
"Now for the next exercise, you are going to want to take your leg, an pull it over your head as far as you can." Don Patch said, effortlessly pulling his leg behind him (its kinda creepy if you ask me). The robots all attempted to copy his pose, but because of the way they were built, their legs couldn't bend that way. Veins started bulging in his head, he "stood" up, and threw his yoga mat at the robots. "You all flunk!" He yelled, all the robots he was teaching now being carried away by the tornado.
"So do you!" Bobobo yelled out, hitting Don Patch with a chalk board, causing his eyes to bulge out of his head and to scream in pain. Once he recovered, he grabbed Bobobo's shirt, about to deliver a punch to his noggin, until he realized something.
"Wait, if you're here, then who's keeping the tornado up?" Don asked. The two stared at each other for a moment as the realization dawned onto them. Just as fast as the tornado appeared, it disappeared in an instant. All the robots, Bobobo and. Don Patch all floated in the sky for a moment, before panicking and plummeting to the ground. Don Patch landed on the worn out Jelly Jiggler, producing a scream and tears from him.
"Incoming!" Bobobo yelled, now a giant wrecking ball. He landed on the two below, causing them to flail their arms about and scream out in immense pain. All the robots that were in the tornado all fell around them, either breaking apart, or receiving enough damage to simply deactivate them. Bobobo, now a human once more, got up from his meat cushions and casually dusted himself off, as for Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler, they were both passed out with pupiless eyes on the ground.
"Bobobo, are you alright?" He heard Twilight ask from behind. He looked back them, seeing them at the front gate, inspecting the damage the three had caused to the robots, seeing them hanging off the walls, hanging off the castle roof, and in pieces on the floor. "We saw a tornado, Beauty said it was just you, but I wanted to make sure."
"Sure I'm alright, never been better," He said giving a thumbs up.
"And them?" Twilight asked, pointing a hoof towards Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler.
"Eh, they're just taking a nap, now come on, we have Soul Hunters to destroy!" He said, heading towards the entrance. After a moment the two followed. The three came upon a large pair of doors into the castle. "Well, time to go in," Bobobo said, putting his hands on the doors.
"Yeah, let's go beat up some more Soul Hunters!" Jelly said, he and Don Patch appearing with the group again.
"Wait, where did you two come from?!" Twilight and Beauty questioned. However, the two didn't listen, as they both joined Bobobo at the door. The human then pushed it open, heading inside.
"Hello? House cleaning!" Bobobo, Jellly and Don Patch announced, appearing with maid outfits on.
"That's disturbing." Twilight commented, walking next to them, Beauty shortly joining.
"Welcome," A unicorn in the middle of the large, empty room said. He was a caramel color with a black mane and tail, his cutie mark was a sword. Next to him were to other ponies, one a pegasus mare with cyan coat and a purple mane and tail, her cutie mark a a Bowie knife. The other an earth pony stallion with a yellow coat, a green main and tail, and his cutie mark was a crumbled boulder. "I'm Silver Sword, this is Sharp Edge-" he pointed to the mare, "-and Crusher." He then pointed to the stallion. He then set down his hoof back onto the ground. "I'm just going to assume you're Bobobo and his weird gang. It's our job to make sure you don't enter the castle." Silver said, manifesting a sword in his magic.
"Well you better start looking for a new job, cause you're gonna be fired from this one!" Bobobo said, now back in his normal clothing.
"We'll see about that, even if you do get past us, you'll have to fight the-" Silver was unable to finish what he was about say, as Bobobo delivered a fist full of justice to his jaw.
"Enough talking! Let's start the fight!" Bobobo bellowed, as Silver screamed out in pain.
"Oi! What a cheap move!" Crusher yelled out.
"How dare you?!" Sharp yelled as well.
"Oh I'm sorry, I left you both out! Well here!" Bobobo yelled out, punching both Sharp and Crusher in the jaws as well, causing them to scream out in pain. As they both roughly landed, Silver quickly got back up to his hooves, bringing the magic sword out once more.
"Fine, you want to fight now, then we'll fight now!" He announced, running towards Bobobo, the human bringing out his nos hair as he too ran towards his enemy. While to two headed for eachother, Crusher and sharp were getting back to their hooves.
"Jeez, didn't think he could hit that hard," The stallion said.
"Well, he can, so let's just get this over with and defeat them already," Sharp snapped, fully standing up. When she looked up however, she saw Jelly Jiggler and Don Patch heading towards them. Don was wielding his Don Patch Sword, and Jelly was wielding his Daikon Sword. "What are these two nut cases doing?" Sharp asked, mainly to herself.
"Is that a green onion and a radish?" Crusher asked.
"It doesn't matter, you take Jiggler, I'll take out sunshine over there."
"Right." Crusher said, heading towards Jelly Jiggler. When he was close enough, Jelly took a swing at Crusher, but the stallion had dodged the attack, jumping upwards. "Let's just see how many pieces you split into!" Crusher said, landing on top of Jelly, causing him to scream out in pain and his eyes to bulge out of his head. Meanwhile, Sharp was heading for Don Patch, flying a little above the ground.
"Take this!" Don yelled out swinging his weapon, however, Sharp simply turned to the side, dodging the attack and ramming into Don.
"How did these idiots take out some of the Soul Hunters before?" Sharp questioned as she continued flying.
"I'll tell you how!" Sharp's eyes widened, she looked behind herself, only to see Don Patch catching a ride by holding onto her tail. Her jaw dropped and her eyes bulged out of her head, how did she not feel the sun thing grab on? Don Patch claimed his way onto her back, where he then began to whack her with his green onion.
"Hey! Ow, that hurts! Ow, quit it! Ow, knock it off! Speaking of, ow, off, get off me! I'm not a, ow, child's ride! Ow!"
"I'll never get off, not until I avenge Jelly Jiggler!" Don Patch retorted, continuing to hit Sharp over the head with his weapon. Meanwhile, Bobobo and Silver were still fighting, the human using his nose hairs as swords to fight Silver's magical sword.
"How are your nose hairs so strong?! My sword can't even cut through them!" Silver questioned, straining against the seemingly steel nose hairs. Bobobo didn't answered however, as he retracted his nose hairs. The sudden move caused Silver to stumble, where Bobobo proceeded to give him a powerful knee to the jaw, sending him sprawling. As soon as silver could get up, he got back into a battle stance, anticipating the human to be on him again. But instead, Bobobo was seen sitting in a chair, holding a guitar, a single spotlight on him that seemed to dim the room around them. "Huh?!" Silver's jaw dropped, he was not expecting this. Bobobo played a single note before pausing for a long moment.
"I don't do guitars!" He yelled out, slamming the instrument over Silver's head, causing his eyes to bulge out.
"No one said you had to play one!" Silver yelled out in pain. He flew into Crusher, who too yelled out in pain, letting the flattened Jelly Jiggler go free. Soon afterwards, Sharp fell from the sky, soon following her, a piano with Don Patch playing what sounded like dead cats fighting.
"Did you see me take that pony out?! That is why you don't mess with the popular one! I'm a force to be reckoned with!" Don "sang" with no beat or tune to it whatsoever while pounding on the piano. Jelly and Bobobo had tears in their eyes.
"What beautiful music," They both cried with large, watery eyes.
"What part of this song is beautiful?!" Twilight and Beauty questioned. After a moment, something hit the back of Don Patch's head, making him stop playing his horrible tune.
"Huh, what's this?" He questioned, taking whatever that had hit him into his hands. Once he looked and saw what it was, his eyes widened as his jaw dropped. It was C4. Before he could do anything about it, it suddenly exploded, causing him and Sharp, who was still underneath the piano, to scream out in pain.
"No more songs!" Bobobo yelled, making it obvious that it was him who threw the C4.
"Oi, that Bobobo is tough," Crusher said, getting up.
"Yeah, it was probably wrong to underestimate him," Said Silver.
"So we made a simple mistake, big deal!" Sharp commented.
'And this is why your parents named you Sharp, because you have a sharp attitude,' Silver thought to himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Bobobo heading for them. "Oh great, here comes the human."
"And with some new weapons!" Bobobo announced, swinging Jelly Jiggler and Don Patch around himself like a mad man. The three pony's eyes bulged out of their head at the sight. They were unable to get away as the human started hitting them about with his friends, causing all five to scream out in pain. He then whacked the ponies away with Jelly. Once they landed, he threw Jelly down to the floor, and grabbed Don Patch's thorns. "Don, I need some of your extra thorns!" He said, pulling Don's thorns out from his body.
"Wait, I don't have extras! We already talked about this!" Don yelled, but the human didn't listen, as he plucked Don dry. Once he was done, he stood back up and kicked the orange spikeless ball away.
"Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Using Your Friends as Weapons Could be Very Useful!" Bobobo announced, throwing Don Patch's spikes at the three ponies, all of them screaming out in pain. Silver growled, lunging towards Bobobo with his magical sword.
"Enough!" He yelled, slicing Bobobo's afro in half. Once Silver landed, he looked up at the human, who didn't seem to be affected at all by the sudden attack. Suddenly, fire started spewing out of Bobobo's afro. "Woah! That's so weird!" Silver commented.
"Do you know what's weirder? The fact that you three are still standing! Now feel the wrath on an afro!" Bobobo yelled, bending down to allow the fire to hit the three ponies, all of them, once again, screaming out in pain.
'Oh, what a way to loose...' Silver thought as he, Crusher, and Sharp landed back onto the ground, head first then rolling onto their backs, passed out with pupiless eyes.
"And that's another win for the good guys!" Bobobo cheered. "Now come on, to the top of the castle!" Bobobo yelled, heading up a staircase to the next floor. Beauty and Twilight nodded as they followed the human, along with Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler. But what they would see at the top would add even more the mystery.