Arrangements had been made for the remaining mane six to be returned to Ponyville. Celestia had just returned me to her quarters, put new sheets on the bed (I refused to give up my toga. Togas are cool.) and collapsed on top of the blanket with a sigh. It was a little funny, actually, watching something usually so graceful flop over like a rubber chicken. But I felt laughing would be inappropriate.
"Am I a bad ruler?" She asked out of the blue, eyes closed. She had a strange look on her face, making her look, and I'll end you if you repeat this, making her look really old.
I cleared my throat, trying to put together a response. "...Do you want the long answer or the short answer?"
"Long. I need to hear everything you have to say."
I sighed, scratching at my longish hair. "Well...you've held Equestria together for well over a thousand years, that says a lot about your skill. But I think your judgement can slip when it concerns the Elements of Harmony." I sat at the bed, absently wondering why I was openly criticizing an immortal sun goddess' ruling methods. I quickly banished the thoughts. "When the dragon set up in the cave by Ponyville, you could've sent trained, armored guards to repel it. Or Hell, gone yourself. Even a dragon should listen to you. I understand the Element Bearers have certain responsibilities, but they're still barely young adults, and none of them have any kind of combat training. I know it all worked out in the end, but that dragon could've just as easily eaten them, and there'd be absolutely nothing you could do all the way in Canterlot. They'd be dead, and Equestria would lose it's greatest defense."
Celestia winced and laid her head back down, sighing dejectedly. "...Thank you for your honesty." It was several minutes before she spoke again. "Jason, I know you don't feel upset about it right now, but...I've done terribly wrong by you. I should've made you stay in Canterlot, I never thought Twilight would..." She buried her face in her forelegs, and I reached over to pat her side.
"Hey, it's okay...It's all in the past, alright?" I grinned, motioning to myself. "Besides, look at me! I'm still all here! ...Mostly." I chuckled, pointing my thumb at my blind, scarred eye. "But honestly, Celestia..." I sighed and flopped down myself, not particularly caring that I had just laid down next to an all-powerful alicorn mare with apparent emotional-issues. "It could've been worse. And I've felt absolutely fantastic all day!" I smiled, lightly flicking one of her ears. She pulled her head up and looked at me with perhaps the most broken look I'd ever seen. "Look..." I began, "I don't know what happened with you and the others, but you need to stop blaming yourself. It's all over now, okay? I'm back."
I did not expect to get drawn into a massive hug, but I returned it nonetheless. Alicorn fur is incredibly soft and warm, after all. A blanket of snow-white feathers covered me, and I felt her chin resting atop my head. "Promise me, Jason..." She began, holding me tight enough I couldn't get away if I wanted to. "Promise me you won't hate me."
I relaxed with a content sigh, closing my eyes. It felt...amazing to be held. The pressure should've been uncomfortable, even painful, but it just felt...right. Wanted. I felt like I belonged, right here, right in this moment. And in this moment, I whispered what I knew had to be the truth.
"I could never hate you..."
"...Thank you..."
I felt the familiar warmth from Celestia's magic, and I knew pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" I screamed, feeling nails scratching at my brain. I gripped Celestia hard as I could, grinding my teeth and hissing. "A-ah....Sto-OOOOOP IIT!!!" I felt the first tears fall, not noticing that Celestia was shaking just as badly as I was. "PLEASE!!" I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't think, I could do nothing.
I sat in my miserable cave, wrapping my arms around my stick-thin body to stave off the cold. The clothes I had arrived in were rags, holey and filthy, completely useless for retaining heat. I rocked back and forth, any movement welcome to get blood flowing to my extremities. I looked up at the grey, overcast sky, and say the first snowflakes of Winter fall. I closed my eyes, knowing the night would be even colder. I'd have to try to burn my bedding if I was gonna make it to morning.
I pushed away from Celestia, landing in a graceless heap on the floor. I'd long since lost the ability to form words, my screams more akin to tortured whispers from my abused, dry throat. I clawed at my scalp, feeling some thing digging around, messing with my brain. Oh God, something was in my head! "GET OUT!!!" I tried to shriek, but my throat had long since given out.
I took a bite of the apple, closing my eyes in bliss as the sweet juices dribbled down my chin. After two days of caught rainwater and as many leaves as I could stuff in my mouth without vomiting, real food was a godsend. I devoured the apple, core and all before plucking three more and climbing out of the tree. I looked to make sure nothing had spotted me, before making a run for it. I didn't get five steps before I was tripped up by a metallic snapping and white-hot pain shooting up my leg. I fell over with a shriek, my apples falling just out of reach. Reaching back, I tried to pry the bear-trap off my leg, to no avail. I was never a hunter, I'd lived in a city all my life. I gulped...I'd have to wait for someone to find me and hope they let me go.
I thought I'd be unconscious by now. But whatever deity had decided to fuck me thought if I was gonna be tortured, I might as well be awake for it. My body refused to follow my commands, lacking the energy to scream and thrash through the pain. I lay limp, breathing shallowly and rapidly, unable to focus on anything else. I felt Celestia's warm magic envelop me again, and my heart stopped. I mustered the last dregs of effort I had to try and get away, but to no avail. My body raised off the ground, and I found myself back in Celestia's wings.
"I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry..." I heard her whisper, as the agony finally began to ebb away. I felt so tired...
"Is..." I rasped out, hardly able to speak, "Is it over..?" I was just...tired. Tired of ponies. Tired of hurting. Tired of being.
"Yes...it's over." The trembling mare sniffled, holding me just as tightly as before. I tried to feel as I did before, trying to feel the same sense of contentment. "It's all over now..."
"Good..." I muttered, letting my eye close.
I felt nothing.