//------------------------------//
// Lyra Is Sappy: The Third Month Is Theatrical 
// Story: Lyra Is Crazy: Many Months Of Mommy Madness 
// by Masterweaver 
//------------------------------//

	Lace slowly rose an eyecrest as she, for now at least, stepped up next to Arsenic. Her gaze followed his into the kitchen, landing on an undisguised Bonbon gargling water in her mouth. Every so often she would spit into the sink, pause, then fill up her glass again and start over.

"...She's been doing that for a good quarter hour," Arsenic reported slowly. "I... don't know why, and I don't think she's stopped long enough for me to get a decent answer." He glanced at Lace. "Is this a changeling thing?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Ah." Arsenic nodded to himself. "I'd call it a personal quirk, but I've been here a month and this is the first time I've seen this."

Bonbon spat into the sink, glared at them for a few seconds, then started filling up her glass with a dark mutter.

Lace tilted her head for a few seconds.

Bonbon sighed, rolling her eyes as she gargled.

"...Ah."  The changeling guard nodded. "I've seen some of the gatherers scrape their tongues on the edge of their holes."

Bonbon paused midgargle. Then she spat out her water and stuck out a long blue tongue, scratching it down with one of the pits of her legs.

Arsenic flicked his eyes toward Lace. "Might I ask what just happened?"

"Mindlink, I asked her what she was doing. Apparently, she and Lyra were kissing, and then Lyra had morning sickness."

The stallion took a few seconds to process this. Then he turned around smartly and walked toward the front door, intent on starting his patrol. Lace rolled her eyes, letting a green flame surround her as she took on her guard form and whisked around to join him.

"LAAAAAAACE!" Lyra bounded down the stairs. "LOOK AT ME!"

The pegasus stallion, as he was at the time, gave the green unicorn a bemused glance. "Yes...?"

Lyra reared up, pointing her hooves at herself. "I'VE GOTTA BELLY! LOOKIT!"

"...Ah. So you do."

The unicorn beamed. "Oh juniper beans, do you know what this means?! I've never had a belly before! I mean I have, but something about my metabolism meant I wasn't ever really overweight, which means all the girls were jealous of me, but I was always like no way gals guys need something to grip my mom said so, so in college I tried to get as much food as I could but it all went to my flanks--"

"It's very grippable," Lace offered simply. "I'm sure Bonbon is very pleased," she added as an afterthought.

"Yeah, see... Bonbon is always going to think I'm sexy, cause she loves me. Which is why I'm asking what you think."

Lace blinked twice.

"...Is the blinking twice when you're shocked a changeling thing? Cause I've seen Twilight do it and I know she ain't no changeling."

"I... have no opinion," Lace admitted slowly. "I have honestly never thought about the physical attractiveness of ponies before."

"Oh." Lyra lowered herself back to all fours. "Well horseradishes... I guess I'll have to ask Arsenic when we go out shopping today."

"It's actually not as grippable as it looks," Bonbon commented as she finally emerged from the kitchen. "It's... firm, if that makes any sense. Like a really thick fuzzy balloon."

"Well, duh, it's my uterus, not raw fat." Lyra shrugged, turning her tail to Bonbon and flicking it around a bit. "You still think my patootie is cute, right?"

Bonbon sighed. "Yes, Lyra, you have a very cute patootie."

"Yay!"

The changeling put a hoof to her forehead. "I'm never going to live that one down, am I?"

"Nope!" Lyra beamed broadly. "And I probably won't ever live down calling your thorax thrilling."

Lace quirked an eyecreast at Bonbon. "She finds your thorax thrilling?"

"Aheh, well, uh..." Bonbon's cheeks flushed green as she glanced away. "It's... I just... shopping! Yes. We need to go out shopping for, uh, um--"

"Maternity clothes!" Lyra provided helpfully.

"Right! Those." The changeling nodded furiously. "Whatever those are."

"Basically they're dresses that make pregnant ponies feel fancy," Lyra explained. "I don't know why, but it's tradition to buy them."

"....I... you know what, I'm not even going to question it." Bonbon flickered through some green fire and put on her saddlebags. "Let's head over to Rarity's and see if she has anything like that."

Lyra smiled as they walked out the door, Lace falling into pace behind them. "They're usually on sale after Harvest day so--Oh! Arsenic! I HAVE A BELLY! LOOK AT IT!"

"...It's very nice," the stallion replied, glancing at the changelings awkwardly.

"YES! VINDICATION!"

Bonbon groaned. "She's going to be going on about this all day now..."


***


"Oh my goodness!" cooed the blue mare as she gently placed a hoof on Lyra's bulging belly. "You look marvelous!"

"Awww, thank you! She's due in, like eight months!" Lyra giggled. "Or he. I don't know!"

"Oh, going for a surprise?" The mare giggled, turning to Arsenic. "You and your wife are very brave."

Bonbon rolled her eyes. "Actually, I'm the father."

The blue mare stared at her.

"...changeling," Bonbon explained helpfully. "I'm wearing my make-up now, but--"

"Oh! Oh. Oh." The blue mare blushed. "That... that works, does it? Oh, I.... well. Good luck to you both!" She smiled at the pair and walked off a bit too quickly.

After a moment Bonbon turned to Lyra. "Who even was that?"

"I dunno. I think her name's either Shoeshine or Linky."

"You just let a random mare touch your belly?!"

Lyra cringed. "Hey, it made her happy, and this is something to celebrate!"

Bonbon put a hoof to her face. "You--I--that pony could have.... done... something!"

"If she had tried," Arsenic calmly stated, "I would have stopped her."

"Ponies are a very social mammal," Lace offered. "A concern towards or affection of developing fetuses and their bearers is only to be expected."

Lyra, Bonbon, and Arsenic all stared at her.

"...I observe, as is my job, and theorize to predict potential assaults." Lace flicked her tail casually. "That they lead to observations and theories not related to my task is not unusual."

Lyra snorted. "It's more the cold way that you said it that bugs me."

"I apologize. I did not realize that ponies viewed an ordinary biological function in such a serious manner."

"Ordinary biological--?! Listen here, you..."

During the next three seconds, Arsenic was witness to a number of small events. Lyra's eyes flicked sideways to meet Bonbon's, which widened for a moment before the cream mare's ear twitched ever so slightly. Lace's own ear shivered, her eyes sliding to Bonbon; the pair of them began twitching their ears back and forth. With a final twitch, Lace let her body tense very slightly, braced for impact; only then did Bonbon nod at Lyra, rolling her eyes.

"It's not just a case of reproduction," Lyra sang, "or population control! When a pony decides to grow a foal they're giving part of their soul!"

She twirled around, tapping her hooves in a rhythm as they trotted down the road. "Being a mom is so much more than just the act of giving birth, it means that you're the guide for someone's life on this earth! It's a big responsibility, and no matter who you ask, you'll find they'll call it the most glorious of tasks! Oh, can't you see--"

"Can't you see can't you see--" echoed Bonbon with a faint smile.

"This is a promise between the foal and me! Don't you know--"

"Don't you know don't you know--"

"I'm the one that gets to watch them grow! I can't tell what will happen, but be there joy or strife, this might be the most important thing in my liiiiiiiife!"

The mint unicorn held her standing position for a moment.

"I just hope I do alright."

The four of them entered Carousal Boutique, Bonbon greeting Rarity, but Lyra was still focused on her song. "It's not that I think I'm a bad pony, I just wonder if I'm good enough. There are so many ways I feel that I'm not quite up to snuff!" She gazed in the mirror as Rarity slipped a maternity dress onto her. "Will I be able to keep my kid on the side of right? Will me and him ever have a big dramatic fight?"

"You should think of the good things," Bonbon suggested, "think of hugs and smiles! And don't stress too much, hon, you know that it's going to be a while!"

"Can't you see--"

"Can't you see can't you see--" echoed Arsenic and Lace.

"This is a promise between the foal and thee! Don't you know--"

"Don't you know don't you know--"

"You're the one that get to watch them grow! I don't know what will happen, if there will be joy or strife, but this is the most important thing in your liiiiiiiife!"

Bonbon held Lyra's cheek, giving her a warm smile.

"And I'm sure you'll do alright."

Lyra smiled as she stepped off the dressing stage, walking out with Arsenic and Lace. Bonbon followed, her own face falling into a frown. "Trust me on this Lyra, you're anything but bad. I'm actually more worried about how I'll be as a dad. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do and I'm worried somehow I'll do something wrong by you."

Lyra turned back. "Don't you worry, Bonbon, I know that you'll do just fine! Our child will be amazing because of our powers combined!"

"Can't you see--" they sang together.

"Can't you see can't you see--" echoed the ponies around them.

"This is a promise between you and me! Don't you know--"

"Don't you know don't you know--"

"We're the ones that get to watch them grow! We've no clue what will happen, there will be joy and strife, all we know is this is the most important thing in our liiiiiiiiife!"

The two of them stood, gazing into each other's eyes as they gripped each other's shoulders.

"And we know... we absolutely know that we'll do alright."

Bonbon leaned forward, kissing Lyra deeply. "Thank you."

"Heh. No prob." Lyra smiled back.

Lace shook her head. "Mnnng. How often should I expect something like that?"

"In this town?" Lyra shrugged. "About once a month."

Arsenic looked between the two of them. "Am... I missing something?"

Bonbon sighed, releasing the hug and turning to him. "It's something about heartsongs. If a changeling isn't part of a heartsong, they'll give us... headaches. Kind of weird, but Lyra is kind enough to give me a little warning."

"Ah."

"Like a nascent hive..." Lace shook her head. "Ugh. Well. I suppose we should--"

She whirled around suddenly, narrowing her eyes at a suited pony. "Not. One step closer."

The stallion halted, a small smile on his face. "I'm here to deliver a letter, nothing more."

Lace frowned. "I find that hard to believe."

"Ah, but I have the letter right here!" The stallion pulled an envelope from his waistcoat pocket. "For one miss Bonbon, from the Ponyville courts. She's being accused of magical assault and coercion."