Heat. Humidity. Twilight didn’t like these things, so she squirmed, twisted and rolled until she found a cool, dry place. Unfortunately, as usual, her new position did not take very long to grow hot and soggy, so she repeated the process and shifted until she encountered another place that suited her needs.
Voices repeatedly called out to her between long intervals, beckoning her to some distant, unknown quest. She mumbled noncommittally to get them to leave her alone, and for the most part it seemed to work. On occasion, something would attempt to smother her with its hot thickness, forcing her to growl or hiss to get it to back off.
At times, she knew exactly where she was in the universe. At others, she felt lost and heavy-laden, unable to stop and find rest in a realm of shadows and cloying humidity, and at the same time unwilling to wander and give up what little comfort she already had. And all the while, a hole seemed to have opened up somewhere within her belly, allowing her insides to slowly leak away, shrivelling her up until she was nothing more than a papery husk.
“Help me…” she moaned into the vast emptiness.
But nothing, no one, came to her aid. All of the universe and eternity receded from her like a tide, leaving a vast, white, oppressive emptiness. She tried to scream when it tugged at her, stretching her so thin that she too became almost nothing, but sound itself had ceased to exist. The emptiness rushed into her mouth, clogging her so thoroughly that nothing could escape. Heat rippled through her body as something deep within squirmed and clawed at her innards. She was drowning in heat and steam.
No!
Twilight’s eyes snapped open, and she reflexively squeezed them shut when they smarted. She stuck her tongue out in disgust when she tasted a dry and stringy lump in her mouth, and it took her a while to realise that it was just her hair. It’d been responsible for poking her in the eyes, too. She sat up and tossed her mane to get it out of the way, then slumped back down as she attempted to remember her dream. Something terrible had awoken her, but the details were already slipping away like sand in an hourglass.
Shrugging, she turned her attention to other matters. Her bed was a frightful mess – the fabric beneath her was warm and damp with sweat, and cold beyond the borders of her current position right at the bottom left corner. A quick glance down the side revealed her pillow and blanket lying crumpled and forlorn on the floor of her bedroom.
Why’s it so dark?
The only illumination in the room came from a half-shuttered firefly lamp on her bedside table, right next to a crystal jug and fruit-filled basket. It puzzled her, since she couldn’t recall seeing anything of the sort before going to bed last night. The clock showed—
One o’clock in the morning? Did I just sleep the whole day away?
She apparently had. As if on cue, a loud snore from somewhere above head height confirmed that it was indeed night time. Glancing upwards, she found a lone cloud floating in the middle of the room, with a tell-tale cascade of rainbow hair dangling over the edge.
There weren’t many reasons for Rainbow Dash to be sleeping in her room, and she had a hard time coming up with one under the current circumstances. Her belly growled noisily, and she felt her eyes drawn towards the bedside table.
First things first.
She had a whole day’s worth of meals to make up for.
Twilight attempted to levitate the jug over, but after wobbling it enough to spill nearly a quarter of its contents over the table, she decided to simply use her hooves. Though clumsy from hunger-induced weakness, they were at least capable of bringing it to her mouth.
When she’d gulped down the last mouthful of water directly from the jug, she turned her attention to the fruit basket. The apples went first. She ravenously crunched into them, dribbling juice out of the corner of her mouth down to her chin, but her growling, clenched stomach prevented her from truly savouring its sweetness. She ate everything but the stalks before moving on to the grapes. Those disappeared quickly enough, too.
At some point, Rainbow or Spike mumbled something in their sleep, which only gave her enough pause to check that they hadn’t woken up and caught her stuffing her face like a parasprite.
Her belly felt a little distended by the time she began working on the oranges, so she was able to slow down and focus on enjoying what little was left. But something about the flavours didn’t feel right. The sweetness just didn’t have the edge, the intensity – it didn’t bring about the fulfilment that it should’ve. It was like tasting everything through a thin layer of cardboard that, when swallowed, filled the stomach but didn’t nourish…
No, think about something else. Need to—I’m a mess. I need to tidy up.
Twilight dropped the last piece of fruit, feeling like an utter slob. Her hooves were sticky with fruit juice and she didn’t need a mirror to tell that her hair was a frightful mess. So she slid off the bed, taking care not to wake Rainbow or Spike with her noise, and headed straight to the washbasin to clean herself up. It shouldn’t have taken more than a minute to do that and brush her mane, but her decidedly unwieldy magic and shaky hooves slowed things down considerably. She felt marginally better after making herself a little more presentable, but her use of magic had awakened that little something on the edge of her consciousness.
She sighed in resignation when it came crawling to the forefront of her mind. Now that her physical hunger had been sated, there was nothing left to distract her from the other hunger clamouring for her attention. Before this, if anypony had told her that it was possible to feel stuffed and ravenous, bloated and hollow at the same time, she would’ve happily informed them that such contradictory sensations occurring simultaneously was next to impossible. About as impossible as a unicorn spontaneously turning into an alicorn.
Oh, why’d I have to make a career out of flying in the face of impossibility?
Groaning softly, Twilight slumped to the floor and curled up into what she was coming to know as her favourite foetal position for personal crises and began stroking her tail in an attempt to soothe herself. It helped, but there was only so much it could do when everything looked so… colourless. Her brain told her that the bad lighting was probably to blame, but she couldn’t shake off the feeling of it, that any enthusiasm and appreciation that she’d ever had for anything and everything was slowly leaking out of her like water from a cracked vessel.
Except for magic.
Her heart raced at the mere thought of it. Raising her head, she cast a glance at the window, with its curtains drawn across like a veil for hidden treasure. She shivered and rose unsteadily, but veered off course when she’d crossed half the distance.
No, no, no. Need a distraction, she thought as she searched frantically. Her eyes then fell on the bookshelf.
Yes!
She picked a volume at random and frowned when she saw the title. Leylines of the World. No, reading about magical hotspots was just about the last thing she wanted to do in her situation. It went cover-down on the nearest table and without so much as a second glance from her. The next book, however, made her smile. It bore scorch marks and charred notches along its spine and lower half, which gave the impression of some cataclysm-scarred relic from her late, beloved library – one of the few that she’d managed to salvage. A hundred memories from happier, simpler times resided within its smoke-stained pages.
Daring Do and the Temple of Loom. Perfect.
Tucking the volume under a wing, she quietly made her way back to bed and settled on the coolest, driest spot she could find. But lying down and brushing against the smooth fabric didn’t quite have the soothing effect she usually enjoyed from slipping into bed; it all felt vaguely bland and numb. Still, she filed that disconcerting sentiment to the back of her mind and began reading.
If there was one thing Daring Do despised, it was being stranded in Prancylvania and living under a rock with nothing but moss and bark to eat…
After a minute, she started skipping pages, picking up speed as each subsequent pause on a random page failed to draw her into the story. Daring Do’s near miss with the cragadile pit only to fall into the pool of brain leeches didn’t make her heart pound or skin crawl like it used to. She felt only the tiniest bit of distress when Daring Do’s mother took a crossbow bolt to the belly in her stead – Twilight knew she’d get better in the last chapter, but still! And when Little Belfry betrayed Daring at the Red Griffon’s Wedding by poisoning her beer and burying her alive in a coffin filled with scorpions, she could hardly muster the outrage such a heinous act deserved.
Twilight snapped the book shut with a sigh and moaned with her face pressed flat into the bed mattress. The story felt contrived. Boring. Not real. Grey. Pointless. Something. She didn’t know.
But she did have a cure, and it was waiting for her beyond the window. She shuddered at the memory of draining the forest’s magic until leaves shrivelled and fell, savouring the thrill of energy coursing through her nervous system…
Twilight shook her head. No. Remember what Luna said. It’s not worth it. You need to fight—no, you may need to flee. Get help.
Was that the reason for Rainbow Dash’s presence in her bedroom? She considered waking her to ask, and had already hovered somewhat unsteadily up alongside the cloud when a pit formed in her stomach. Luna might’ve already told Dash and Spike and everypony else about what she’d done last night. She dropped back onto her hooves more loudly than she liked, but luckily the noise didn’t wake her roommates.
An overcast sky prevented much moonlight from pouring into her room once she’d opened the window, but a few gaps here and there did allow some shafts of light to reach down into Ponyville. And over to the south lay the Everfree Forest…
She grimaced when she failed to suppress a shiver of anticipation. She looked at Spike and Rainbow, still sleeping peacefully, then turned back to the forest.
Come on, you don’t need this…
She placed one hoof on the sill.
That’s far enough. Stop.
Her wings twitched eagerly.
Stop!
She fluttered her wings and hopped onto the sill, balanced and poised to take flight.
“Good evening, Twilight!”
“Yaaagh!”
She jerked backwards to get away from the serpentine figure that had just popped up from below the window, then flailed her hooves and wings when she lost her balance and toppled from her window perch, landing squarely on her back and shedding several feathers in the process.
“Oh. Oops,” said Discord.
“You!” Twilight pointed a hoof at him.
“Me!” Discord grinned.
“What are you—” Twilight began to yell before she quickly lowered her voice to a hiss to avoid waking Rainbow and Spike. “—what are you doing here?”
Discord waved a paw dismissively. “Oh, there’s no need for that, Twilight. I’ve given your buddies sleeping aids,” – he gestured towards them, and she saw that they both had corks stuffed into their ears – “so please feel free to yell as loud as you like. Goodness knows you could do with some stress relief.”
Twilight simply scowled at him. She kept her voice low – it would be just like him to whisk away the corks if she tried to yell – and growled, “I’m really not in the mood for you right now. What do you want?”
“What do I want?” Discord placed a paw on his chest, as if surprised that she’d just accused him of a crime, then grinned and said, “Well, since you’re so curious; I just happened to be in the neighbourhood when I noticed my favourite princess” – he gasped dramatically – “stealing magic from the Everfree Forest. Oh, the ignominy of it all!”
If her mood could be likened to a stoppered flask of acid, Discord had just performed the equivalent of placing it over a steady flame. Twilight righted herself and stomped over to the window. “So, what, are you here to gloat or something? Rub it in my face that I’m no better than anypony else?”
“Actually, it has come to my attention that Luna offered you some companionship and advice last night,” he said. Then, before she could stop him, he flew into the room with all the grace of an eel through water and curled – not too closely – around her. “And since I’m such a good friend, it would be a shame if I failed to do the same, would it not?” He then stroked his beard thoughtfully and added, “Besides, why would I rub that in your face? I thought you wanted to be considered no better than anypony else.”
Oh, for the love of…
Twilight ground her teeth and felt an eye twitch. She could’ve sworn that her mane and coat were getting knots, tangles and split ends just by being in his presence. “First of all, what makes you think I want your advice?” When Discord opened his mouth to respond, she quickly silenced him with a loud snort and turned away, growling, “We could’ve avoided all of this if you had just done your job and stopped Tirek when you had the chance. You kicked us in the back!” She then whirled back around and glared at him. The next words were meant to cut, and she knew deep down that she had no right to use them, but since Discord had poked her first, he’d made himself fair game. “Some reformation that was, huh? What’s your excuse for putting us through all of that?”
Discord’s grin faltered. Seeing his ears lower for a moment almost made her want to take back her words, but his self-assured, smug confidence only took a second to resurface and put things back in perspective. He clearly didn’t regret a thing.
“Oh, Twilight, it hurts to find that you hold me in such low esteem,” he lamented. “And so soon after forgiving me!”
She narrowed her eyes. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t consider that a mistake.”
Discord snapped his fingers, and a large roll of parchment popped into existence before him. Twilight flinched, but when his use of magic in such close proximity failed to exacerbate her cravings, she relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she just hadn’t developed a taste for chaos magic. Yet.
“What’s this supposed to be?” she asked, turning her attention to the familiar geographical patterns of Equestria’s forests, mountains, rivers and settlements laid out on the parchment.
“It’s a map!” he proclaimed, sweeping his talons across it as if presenting her with a priceless artefact.
Deep breaths, Twilight. Deep breaths.
Rubbing her temple, she groaned and muttered, “I can see that. So what’s so special about it? Aside from those scribbles, I mean.”
“You’re a smart pony. Look closely.”
Twilight did, and at first it looked like Discord had simply scribbled randomly on the map of Equestria with a red crayon. But then she noticed a pattern; the scribbles were all one long, unbroken line. It started just south of Vanhoover, and methodically went from one town to another, zigzagging up and down the Y-axis whilst heading due east across the continent like a lawnmower.
She gasped. “Is this… is this the way you led Tirek through Equestria? You were guiding him to all of the settlements to feed on ponies’ magic!”
Discord nodded. “Mm hmm, you’ve got half of it. Keep looking.”
The pattern was as systematic as Applejack’s ploughing, except that the line deviated from the most efficient pathway several times throughout, and she frowned when she realised that most of those deviations were in the vicinity of Ponyville, Canterlot and the Everfree Forest. The line reached those sites only after it had covered most of Equestria, and Ponyville was the last.
Steering clear of Canterlot made sense; Tirek wouldn’t want to tangle with the princesses until he was strong enough to consume their considerable reserves of magic. But leaving Ponyville out of the picture did not. It would have been far simpler to go through Ponyville than to circumvent it several times over, and it wasn’t as if there was anypony there too powerful for him to feed on at that point. She might be an alicorn, but until the others had given her their magic, Tirek should’ve been powerful enough to finish her off on his own. Especially with Discord by his side.
“Were you trying to leave Fluttershy for last?” she eventually asked. “Is that what you’re trying to show me?”
“Well… you get half marks.” Discord snapped his fingers and dismissed the map, which fluttered out the window like a giant moth.
He then paced back and forth before Twilight with the air of a professor just about to deliver a particularly long lecture. “You already know that I was sent after Tirek because my ability to sense nearly all forms of magic far exceeds anypony else’s. Well, I found him easily enough, and got just a little smidgen worried when I saw him feeding. He’s gotten much better at it since I last saw him, and I did not fancy giving him the chance to practice on me.”
“So he scared you into betraying us? That still isn’t an excuse.”
Discord harrumphed. “Well, if you would let me finish…”
Fine… Twilight sat on her haunches, folded her forelegs and waited.
He conjured up a blackboard, plucked off his left horn and promptly scribbled away when it had morphed into a chalk stick. “Well, here’s where it gets interesting. Point One: My ability to have fun has been severely diminished since my reformation. Tirek offered me the chance to spread a little chaos for old times’ sake in exchange for some help, and I thought it wasn’t too bad a deal. After all, even I am not above a few vices.”
Twilight shook her head. “Your ‘fun’ was hurting other ponies. I still don’t see how you could view that as fair, especially after we all gave you a second chance.”
“Well, you hadn’t exactly been very gracious in your forgiveness,” he retorted. “With the exception of Fluttershy, the whole lot of you were quite ready to turn me back to stone at the drop of a hat.” He then jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards Rainbow’s sleeping form and added with a scowl, “Especially your colourful friend back there. How was I supposed to learn about friendship and forgiveness if the paragons of Harmony themselves – again, with the exception of dear Fluttershy – were all showing me nothing but sugar-coated hostility? I think Tirek was spot-on when he called me a pony-errand-boy.”
He... had a point. As much as she would have preferred taking an anvil to the face than admit it, she had treated him rather poorly. But then she remembered the white-hot agony of Tirek ripping her magic straight out of her horn, and she steeled herself against further remorse.
“That still doesn’t justify your actions,” she growled.
Without warning, Discord and the blackboard burst into a cloud of smoke. She coughed and flapped her wings to clear it, revealing what looked like a draconequus’ equivalent of a foal, with an adorably thick and blunt fang protruding from one side of his mouth. He stood on his stumpy, mismatched hind legs with his short arms folded, and he wore a smug look that practically drawled, “I’m better than you and you know it.” Rainbow Dash or Trixie would probably have killed to have a smirk like that.
Then, before she could comment, Junior Discord pointed a stubby talon at her and said, “Well, right back at ya’. Don’t you know that stealing magic is wrong?”
Oh my stars… Even the snootiest brat in Ponyville Elementary would’ve been put to shame by that whiny, smug, grating voice that six-year-olds used to talk down to their younger siblings.
Twilight flared her wings and towered over him. “What do you know about what I’m going through? I know it’s wrong, but it’s just so…” She groaned and stomped her hoof on the ground. “You have no idea what it’s like!”
“Ah, ah, ah. Stealing is stealing,” Junior Discord explained, waggling a finger. “It doesn’t matter if Twily is cranky-wanky. Only baddies do naughty things, and we all know what happens to baddies, don’t we?”
“I’m not a—why you little…”
Before she could finish, Junior Discord vanished in a puff of smoke and reappeared as a grown-up once more. He still had some residual smugness, though.
“That’s what it’s like hearing you ponies lecturing me on friendship and doing the right thing and all the other lovely things you tend to say,” he explained. “Oh, you little ponies, to presume to tell your elders – let’s face it, compared to my age, you’re all practically foals – how to behave. I’ll admit that it’s not very mature of me, but there are few things in this universe more satisfying than reminding bratty kids of their true place in it.”
Twilight continued frowning. It couldn’t be their fault if Discord believed that nopony could tell him how to behave just because he was older and more powerful than them. But then again, she found it hard to argue the point when only Fluttershy had cared enough to share with him the friendship that they all were supposed to embody.
“Okay, fine. We could’ve done better in that area,” she finally conceded. “What else do you have to say?”
“Point Two: What if I told you that I was on your side all along?”
She gave him an icy stare. “I’d call you a liar.”
He chuckled. “Now, now, let’s not be hasty. I merely pretended to be on his side so I could keep him away from Ponyville and Everfree Forest – to buy you time to get that rainbow power of doom ready to defeat him!”
“Likely story.”
“But it’s true!” he protested. “Besides, I convinced him to go easy on everypony.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Easy?”
“Well, yes. He would’ve been quite happy to drain everypony to the soul, but I got him to leave just a bit of magic so they wouldn’t be totally catatonic. After all, what’s an entertainer like me going to do without an audience? He even warmed up to the idea of having ponies to gloat over – it’s kind of unsatisfying if your victims are unconscious. In return, I promised to show him the fastest routes to the best feeding grounds and to conveniently gather his prey.” Discord winked. “And he didn’t even know that I was keeping him away from the Element Bearers.”
“And he believed you?”
“Insofar as I would be his guide, yes. But as for being best buddies forever and ever?” He chuckled. “Oh no. Not for a second. He knew I was up to something, but he liked my offer, and it was only natural for him to prepare to backstab me when he had what he wanted.”
“Aha!” Twilight pointed a hoof at him in triumph. “You’re bluffing. If you knew he was going to betray you, then how did he manage to do it? Fluttershy told me everything; you were totally caught off guard!”
“Well, of course I would have to act surprised and put myself at his mercy!” He folded his arms and raised an eyebrow as if she’d just said something silly. “Not doing so would have severely reduced the odds of receiving forgiveness from you ponies, which, let me remind you, was instrumental in your acquisition of the rainbow power.”
Twilight blinked, then shook her head in disbelief. “So… all that stuff you said about Scorpan’s amulet being a symbol of friendship – all of that was a lie, too? I can’t believe you—” she suddenly broke off, frowning as she scratched the back of her head. “Wait, that can’t be right. It wouldn’t have become the sixth key if you were lying…”
Discord grinned. “I wasn’t. When you ponies chose to forgive me, even after all I had done, I felt… something.” His expression grew solemn. “I can remember few instances in my life when something moved me,” – he placed a paw on his chest, where his heart was supposed to be – “and the moment you demanded my release when you could have so easily left me to rot, I realised that I had to add one more to that list. There was no need to pretend anymore. Friendship is amongst the greatest, if not the most powerful magic in this part of the universe. The only part left was to see if it was more powerful than Tirek combined with nearly all of the pony magic in Equestria.”
“But, I—you…” Twilight stared at him. “If that’s true – you were risking so much just conducting an experiment. You can’t do that!”
He shrugged. “I’d weighed the odds, and I found them favourable. In case you haven’t noticed – I would be disappointed if you actually haven’t – the universe seems particularly biased in favour of your pony ideals on friendship and the like. And if I lost, oh well. It’s not the worst that has happened to me. Chaos finds a way of surviving in the tiniest cracks of time.”
The most complicated way…
Twilight stared at the floor as she attempted to parse through all that he’d said. As much as she suspected that he was lying about something somewhere, she could also see a part of his convoluted logic in putting friendship to the test. Not that it made his methods any less objectionable…
“Real friends don’t test each other like that, you know,” she murmured.
“Oh, I suppose you’re right.” Discord sighed. “I guess that means I can’t pull that Blue Flu stunt again, can I? That was fun.”
“It would be nice if you didn’t, really.”
He snorted. “Okay, fine. Now that brings me to Point C. I—”
“Wait. The previous one was Point Two, not B,” Twilight interjected.
“Yes, Twilight, I can remember. I’m not senile, you know,” Discord huffed, folding his arms impatiently. “As I was saying – ” he paused, then scratched his chin thoughtfully with one eyebrow raised. “ – wait, what was I saying?”
“Point Three?”
Discord tut-tutted. “Don’t rush an old draconequus, my dear. Goodness, don’t they teach ponies to be patient these days?”
With a scowl, Twilight silently weighed the therapeutic benefits of slapping him with a wing, but decided that he probably wasn’t worth the effort. She settled for rolling her eyes instead.
“Anyway, as I was saying – oh, you’re going to love this one – I made a wager with Celestia that you wouldn’t be able to defeat Tirek if I didn’t mop him up right from the start. Given the fact that she holds you in such high esteem, she just had to show me that you deserved every drop of confidence she had in you.”
“That’s a lie. And—what would she even wager for in the first place? What could possibly be worth putting all of Equestria in danger?”
“In one outcome of the wager, I’d have gotten three twenty-sevenths of Equestria to call my own and do with as I pleased. In the other, I’d have to take her on a date for old times’ sake.” He waggled his eyebrows and added, “Would you like to guess who asked for which?”
Twilight felt an eye twitching. “You know what; I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Is this all a joke to you? Aren’t you ever sincere about anything?”
“My dear, I am not always sincere.” He smiled. “And that is the most sincere statement you will ever hear from me.”
She groaned and whirled around, trudging away from him. “I… I’m just not in the mood to deal with you right now,” she murmured, slumping to the floor and fighting back tears. “Why can’t anything be simple anymore? I just want a clear, honest answer…”
Instead of the scoff, laugh or some other flippant response she expected from him, Discord remained silent for a distressingly long time. She did not like that. The silence felt like an opening for something far worse than his useless banter. The world seemed to stretch out until it became a vast emptiness in which she could only drift helplessly, doomed to wander eternity lost and alone…
Twilight gasped when she felt something brush against her back, but it turned out to be only the bushy end of Discord’s tail after he’d shifted closer and sat down next to her.
“Point Four: I, the formerly undisputed Master of Chaos, am losing my touch and was trying to hide the fact that loneliness and the desire for companionship had driven me to make a questionable, poorly thought-out alliance with someone whom I thought I could relate to,” he stated matter-of-factly.
His uncharacteristically sombre tone seemed genuine enough, but she still turned and looked up to make sure.
She blinked when she saw that Discord’s expression mirrored Luna’s mournful visage the previous night, and in spite of herself, she felt a little moved by his sudden change in demeanour. That is, until the rational part of her mind reminded her that he could be a pretty good actor when he wanted to. He’d even claimed as much only a few minutes ago.
“That’s sweet, but are you telling the truth?” she asked.
“Does it matter?”
She gave him a pointed look. “You should know this by now.”
“In that case, my answer is yes.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes and held his gaze for a long, long minute, before she finally said, “You know, I honestly can’t tell whether you’re being difficult on purpose.”
A ghost of a smile returned to his face. “Well…”
She huffed and turned away.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for putting you through all of that.”
She shook her head. “You know, at this point, it sounds like you’re more concerned with getting rid of your own guilt than helping me.”
“Yes. I’m sorry for that, too.” He sighed dramatically and lifted his paw and talon, as if he was holding up a particularly distasteful lump. “How do you ponies deal with this, this terribly debilitating emotion? It’s such a joy-killer!”
Twilight snorted. “Knowing what you consider ‘joyful’ activities, I think you could use more of it.”
“Taking jabs at me? Ooh, that was a quick recovery.” Discord whistled.
“What’s the point of all this? You said you came here to help me, but so far we’ve only talked about you.”
“But it’s taken your mind off your problem. Our conversation has really cut down your capacity to mope and feel sorry for yourself, hasn’t it?” He snapped his fingers and produced a small explosion of confetti from somewhere above her head, adding, “I’d say that a good dose of Uncle Discord’s chaos is exactly what’s needed to keep you from torturing yourself.”
Twilight had prepared a sharp reply in anticipation of more of his glibness, but the words stuck in her throat as she processed what he’d said. It was kind of true.
“Hmm. Maybe you’re right,” she murmured.
“Besides, you should wait at least a few centuries before going all-out with your magical feeding frenzy.”
She whipped her head around. “What?”
Discord brought up both paws and leaned back a bit in a gesture of surrender. “All I’m saying is that you should save the forbidden stuff for later when you’ve exhausted all other forms of pleasure or occupation. Skipping ahead to the heavy stuff like what you were doing yesterday will really shorten the time you have before you get bored of your existence.”
Implication that she’d even want to hurt others in a magical feeding frenzy aside, his words had touched upon something that had bothered her ever since her ascension to alicornhood. It sounded as if he knew a thing or two about near-immortality that the other princesses had yet to share with her. “Is a long life really so depressing? What—well, if you don’t mind me asking… what happened to you?”
He chuckled. “Oh, you know, the usual. I got tired of seeing the same things over and over again, so I started, ah, sampling every experience conceivable in an attempt to make my existence just a little bit more tolerable. You name it, I’ve probably tried it. But in the end, nothing really satisfied me, until I realised that my depression came from a lack of purpose, not a lack of finding new things to enjoy.” He suddenly spread his arms wide, and chromatic energy crackled and fizzed like lighting at his fingertips as he proclaimed, “And so I became Discord; Master of Chaos, Bringer of Nonsense, Holder of Phenomenal Cosmic Power and Pronouncer of Something-something the Unpronouncable!”
“So, you made it your life’s goal to torment ponies. Ponies like me and my friends. Like Fluttershy.”
He deflated a little at that. “Well, admittedly not the best idea I’ve ever had, but it did keep me entertained. Even though it brought me into direct conflict with certain beings…”
“Celestia and Luna,” Twilight said.
“Yes, them. Amongst others.” Discord shifted and whispered, “Would you like to know a secret?”
“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me regardless.”
“Oh, so cynical. And at such a young age!” he gasped before cracking a grin. “You make me proud. Well, the secret is that… I do envy Celestia for finding her purpose in something that the universe had little objection to. Don’t get me wrong; chaos is a lot of fun, but the universe isn’t very fond of it, and I did spend several centuries as a statue for overstepping my bounds.” He sighed. “And now that you ponies have managed to convince me that friendship is a little more desirable than I’d first thought, well, you’ve succeeded in making me regret a few decisions I’ve made in the past. I think I now see what Celestia does in you, her little project.”
Twilight rose to all fours, scowling, and poked him in the chest. “Excuse me, I’m not a project. I’m Princess Celestia’s student, and I think she cares for me more than most teachers would.”
“Oh, you misunderstand me, my dear.” Discord waggled a finger. “The two are not mutually exclusive; she cares about you, yes, but there’s no denying that you are also the culmination of centuries of shaping an entire species, nation and culture into alignment with what she believes is the most powerful force in the universe. You are the Princess of Friendship, the first who ascended where so many other apprentices throughout the centuries had failed.”
Twilight blinked. “Okay, I honestly didn’t see that coming.”
Discord chuckled. “Neither did I. Not until recently, at any rate. But my point stands; it’s what we do to avoid going crazy – well, crazier. Everypony needs a hobby, and Celestia’s just happens to be crafting an entire race’s legacy and its mark on the universe when most of you would call it a day after writing a book or revising the magical curriculum. And now that I am privy to the patterns in her grand design, I am most curious to see what path you will take.
“Will you lead ponykind into a new era of peace and harmony, and in doing so become masters of your world in ways that even I could only have dreamed of? Or will you surrender to your deepest, darkest instincts and become a cautionary tale of what happens when alicorns try to shape mortals into beings that they were never meant to become? Oh, this is all so exciting!” He clapped his paws and giggled in a way that would have been expected from a filly, then put an arm around her shoulder and gestured outward with his free paw as if showing her a grand vista. “I can already see it in the history books – The Legend of Twilight: The Last Alicorn.”
Twilight simply stared into space. Yeah. No pressure. How was she supposed to deal with that? Did Celestia really plan to make her into a legend? It made sense, in a convoluted sort of way.
Discord gave back her personal space and pulled thoughtfully at his beard. “You know, come to think of it, I take back what I said about immortality being depressing. It allowed me to meet you, the most interesting pony in a long, long time. I now have a chance to be a part of your story, to shape your path through Time the same way Celestia has.” He smiled, and it seemed like the first truly sincere, guileless one she’d gotten from him. “And I guess I could start small by making sure that you don’t turn into a rampaging magic-eater before you’ve had a chance to truly explore what you can achieve as the first Princess of Friendship. That would be a waste of your potential.”
“I, well…” Twilight bit her lip. “I’m going to need some time to come to terms with all that. Heck, I’m not even sure if I’m glad you told me all that, but I guess you meant well. You—you really do mean to help me, right? This isn’t another one of your schemes.”
“Well. What if I said that helping you is part of my current scheme?”
A feeble chuckle escaped her. “I… I guess that’s more than I can ask for right now.” She reached out to touch his shoulder but hesitated for a moment, wondering what the world had come to.
Oh, what the hay. She hugged him gingerly. “Thanks, Discord.”
“Oh, don’t mention it my dear.” He patted her on the head. “Besides, it’s always nice being near you. You’re adorable when you’re trying to quantify my insanity, and—say,” he scratched his chin thoughtfully, “does this mean that every time you’re about to engage in self-destructive behaviour, I get to prod, poke and annoy you out of it?”
In spite of herself, Twilight couldn’t help smiling at his childlike eagerness. “If you really want to see it that way, fine. Don’t push your luck, though. Moderation is important; there’s only so much of you that I, no, anypony can deal with at a time.”
“Advice for moderation? Coming from the pony who fought Tirek to a standstill?” Discord grinned and chuckled. “But, yes, I suppose I’ll eventually master the more subtle aspects of knowing when enough friendshippy chaos is enough.”
They sat together in silence for a while, watching the clouds roll across the dark sky. A gap would occasionally appear in the clouds, allowing a glimpse of the stars twinkling in the vast sea of dark blue. She smiled when she spotted a shooting star, and for a moment, wondered what it would be like if she ever lived long enough to play a part in shaping the world like Celestia and Luna had. Discord was right – she’d be throwing all of that away if she settled for something as short-sighted and self-serving as feeding her hunger for magic...
“Well then, this has been surprisingly fulfilling, but I really must get going. I still have some community service to render to the good citizens of Equestria, and the populace tends to panic less when they can’t see me in the dark,” Discord eventually announced with a sigh. He snapped his fingers, and a janitor’s uniform popped into existence over his frame. “Good night, Twilight.”
“Bye,” she whispered as he surged through the window, drawing out a gust of air. She heard a few popping noises like bottles being uncorked, then squeaked in surprise when four actual corks whizzed past her and out the window to trail after Discord’s snakelike form. A couple of seconds later, the window snapped shut.
“Gah, it wasn’t me, I swear!”
Twilight yelped and whirled around to find Rainbow Dash sitting bolt upright on her cloud, staring at nothing in particular.
“Ugh, what’s going on?” Spike murmured as he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
Rainbow blinked and shook her head before finally focusing on Twilight. “Oh, hey Twilight. What’s for breakfast?” She then squinted at the clock and tilted her head. “Ookay. Never mind. What’s going on, Twi? Can’t sleep?”
Twilight shook her head.
“It’s still bothering you, huh? Princess Luna filled us in on what happened.”
Twilight froze. “She—she told you everything?”
Rainbow nodded. “Uh huh. Just us, though. Well, the part about sucking up magic and feeling bad about it and all that. That’s what’s got your mane in a tangle, right?”
“And you’re—” Twilight glanced at Spike and turned back to Rainbow. “You aren’t, um, mad? Or upset? Scared, maybe?”
Rainbow snorted. “Oh come on, Twi. What kind of friends do you think we are? If you guys forgave Spike for turning into a giant, rampaging dragon of greediness and knocking over half of Ponyville, I think we can get over you slipping up and eating a bit of magic.”
“Gee, thanks for pointing that out, Dash,” Spike muttered with his arms folded before turning to Twilight. “But yeah, she’s right. You helped me stop being so greedy; I think we can help you not go all power-crazy like Tirek. I think.”
“But it’s not the same!” she had been about to say, but then thought better of it. Spike wouldn’t appreciate it even if it were true. It probably wouldn’t help to dwell on that part of the problem anyway.
Be a little more positive.
She managed a little smile, even though it didn’t really reach her heart. “I guess you’re right.”
“Heh, when am I not?” Dash smirked, then bounced off her cloud and over to the firefly lamp. She opened the shutters fully, held it in her mouth and proceeded to flit about, lighting all the lamps in the room as she went along. At the same time, she realised that Spike had already straightened out her bed and had begun cleaning up the mess she’d made of the fruit-bowl and jug.
“Hang on, what are you guys doing?” She glanced at the clock. “It’s the middle of the night!”
“Well, if you can’t sleep, I’m not leaving you hanging.”
“Aren’t you working tomorrow?”
Rainbow waved a hoof. “Pssh. I’m taking leave to make sure my reading buddy’s okay. Besides, you don’t really want to stare at the sky all night and hear us snore, do you?”
“Well, no, but—”
“Yeah, and I get to stay up all night for once!” Spike chimed in.
Twilight whipped her head around to give him a scowl. “Hang on. Nopony said anything about staying up all night, Mister. You’re a growing dragon and you need your sleep.”
“Aww, but we’re doing it to take care of you!” he protested.
“It’s going to mess up your sleep pattern!”
“Heh, you mean like yours now?” Dash called out from the other side of the room, with her head buried inside one of the chests where Spike kept his comics and board games.
“But, friendship problems. Day Court. Library. I can’t shirk my duties as princess! I—”
“We can switch to a nightly schedule instead of a daily one, right? You still need your Number One Assistant no matter what time it is,” Spike interjected. “Come on, it’ll be totally cool. You can be like Princess Luna!”
“But—”
“Yeah,” Rainbow added as she deposited several boxes on Twilight’s bed. “Quit worrying and let your buddies entertain you tonight. Once you’re all sorted out, you can go back to being Regular Princess Egghead if you really want to. If work’s the problem, I’m sure one of us can fill in for you in the meantime. It’s not like we don’t know anything about friendship stuff. Or books.”
Twilight bit her lip. Taking a break from everything did seem very appealing at the moment. She couldn’t stomach the thought of learning how to deal with petitions in court or being around ponies outside of her circle of friends once Celestia brought the sun up. And staying up all night with no one to talk to was definitely off the table. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to change things up a bit; it couldn’t be worse than what she’d already done.
She glanced at Spike, who nodded with a huge, eager grin on his face.
“Come on; peer pressure, peer pressure, peer pressure!” Dash chanted gleefully, clapping her hooves each time in emphasis.
Twilight turned her head slightly, just enough to allow her a glimpse of the window at the corner of her eyes. Beyond the glass, out in the darkness lay the Everfree Forest. The one place where she dared satisfy the hunger gnawing away within her.
Will you surrender to your deepest, darkest instincts and become a cautionary tale of what happens when alicorns try to shape mortals into beings that they were never meant to become?
After a while, she turned back and found Rainbow Dash balancing a stack of boxes on each outstretched hoof. “What’ll it be, Twilight – Battle Chariots? Thundercloud? Drakes and Ladders?” Spike had also somehow managed to obtain a bowl of cookies and crackers without her noticing, which he promptly offered to her.
She closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath and released it slowly.
Steady, now. One day at a time. I might fall someday, but it won’t be today.
“Okay, you win,” she replied. “We’ll stay up, just this once.”
“Yes!” Rainbow and Spike cheered in unison.
Twilight’s smile felt genuine this time; seeing their happy enthusiasm dulled the edge of the hunger lurking within, and her heart swelled at the realisation that they were willing to be far better friends than she’d given them credit for. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad after all.
She sniffled and wiped at her eyes before squaring her shoulders and pointing a hoof at one of the boxes that Dash was holding. “All right, it’s game time!”