Applejack lay on the cold, lightly snowed over ground in the Sweet Apple Acres’ west field. Winter was just rolling in, alleviating the need to buck any trees, but there was still plenty of work to be done around the farm, not that Applejack was up for any of it.
She stared down at her smooth, firm stomach. It’s almost like she was never there, she thought, gently rubbing a hoof up and down midsection. Not a trace, not a bump, nothin’…
Applejack struggled to hold back a tear that threatened to escape her eye, the mere sight of her own body was enough to remind Applejack of what was… what could have been.
Why did she have to go? Why not me? Why her?! Applejack looked up to the overcast sky. “Why her!?” she screamed. Applejack leaped to her hooves and glared up at the rainclouds obscuring the sun. “Why’d ya take her?! My ray of sunshine!”
Applejack’s body started to tremble, she could barely hold herself up, so full of anger and pain. She finally gave in to her body’s demands and collapsed.
A loud crack shot through the orchard, the storms signal was something Applejack liked to call it. It was just a small noise the pegasi had begun to use to alert ponies below that the storm was beginning.
It was a sign that Applejack would always keep an ear out for, but today there seemed to be no point. Why avoid being wet, why hurry home when there was nothing. Sure Applejack would always have Granny Smith, Big Mac and Applebloom… but they weren’t the same, not family Applejack was denied, not… what she could have been. Applejack laid there in silence for a few more minutes until she heard somepony trotting nearby.
“Applejack…” a gentle voice whispered from behind Applejack, a voice Applejack would recognize anywhere, she had hoped Twilight would never to see her like this.
Applejack quickly shot up from the ground, and began dusting some loose bits of grass and snow off her coat. She faced away from Twilight, taking a few deep breaths before speaking, “howdy, Twi.” It was all she felt she could manage without her voice breaking and giving her true state away.
“Please don’t turn away, Applejack…” Twilight pleaded. “I know what you were doing… it’s what I’ve been doing the past few months…”
“Ah don’t know what yer talkin’ ‘bout, Twi,” Applejack said. “Ah’m just checkin’ on the trees… Ah get worried ‘bout them in winters.”
“Don’t lie to me, AJ, you know you’ve never been able to lie to me.” Twilight placed a gentle hoof on Applejack shoulder, she was trembling, and Twilight could tell it was more than just the cold winds and the first few drops of rain. “Applejack… look at me… please.”
Applejack slowly turned round to face Twilight, her eyes were red and her lips were trembling. No matter how hard Applejack tried to fight it, she couldn’t hide her sadness, not anymore.
“Applejack, why won’t you talk to me about this? I know it’s hurting you too,” Twilight said, staring into Applejack’s tear soaked eyes.
“Ah said, Ah don’t know what yer-”
“Our foal died, Applejack!” Twilight snapped. “I’m sorry to say it so bluntly, but it happened, and you need to talk to me about it.”
Applejack broke eye contact and shifted her gaze to the ground. “Ah don’t gotta talk ‘bout nothin’,” she said through clenched teeth.
Twilight wiped a tear from her eyes and slowly lifted a hoof up to Applejack’s muzzle. “please, Applejack, I know you don’t want to, but if you don’t talk about it, you’ll never be able to accept it.”
Applejack batted Twilight’s hoof away, staring fiercely into her eyes. “Accept it?! It just that easy for ya huh? Just, ‘oh well that didn’t quite turn out how Ah thought it would, guess Ah’ll just move on cause what do Ah care ‘bout my unborn filly.”
Twilight was starting to get angry. “Applejack, you know it isn’t like th-”
“I suppose this is just like one of yer experiments, just on the next one when somethin’ don’t work out!” Applejack yelled.
Twilight swung her right hoof and slapped Applejack across the face, leaving a big, red mark, “don’t you dare say that to me, don’t you…dare.” Twilight began sobbing uncontrollably, occasionally sniffling as the tears mixed the rain still pouring down her face.
Applejack stared at Twilight, rubbing her stinging, red cheek. She’d gone too far and she knew it. How could she say such things to mare she loved? The mare she held above everypony else in the world. Applejack made her cry, when all Twilight wanted to do was help.
How could Ah think those things even for a second? It was Twilight who found that pregnancy spell in the first place; she’s wanted this foal just as long as Ah have.
Applejack wrapped her hooves around Twilight’s shivering body, and gently stroked her mane, “Ah’m so sorry, sugarcube, Ah don’t what Ah was thinkin’, Ah don’t really believe that, Ah was just… Ah…”
Twilight returned Applejacks embrace and buried her head into Applejack’s shoulder. “I know, I know, Applejack… it’s just been so hard since it happened. You’ve always been there for me when I’ve cried… but you never let me be there for you.”
“Ah guess we just kinda get stuck in the routine of me bein’ the strong one eh?”
Twilight pulled her head away from Applejack’s comforting shoulders, and looked deep into her eyes. “You don’t have to be, Applejack. You’re a pony, and just like everypony else you need somepony there for you. Please let me be that pony, AJ.”
Applejack nestled her head between Twilight’s neck and shoulder, and allowed herself to be overtaken by Twilight’s warm embrace. “Ah love you, Twilight. Ah’m sorry for being closed off, just the way Ah am.”
Twilight tightened her hold on Applejack, and gently whispered into her ear, “never apologize for being who you are. I love you, all of you… even the quirks.”
“So… what exactly do Ah say?” Applejack asked.
“Anything you need to, AJ. Why don’t you tell me what you were thinking about before I got here?” Twilight suggested.
"Ah... Ah was just thinkin' 'bout... what our filly would've been like."
"Ok, why don't you tell me a bit about that."
“Well… she’d be a real cutie. She’d have hair like mine, but your beautiful eyes… big ol’ smile and few freckles on her cheeks.”
“Bet everypony would love her.” Twilight added.
Applejack smiled. “Oh yeah, friendliest darn pony you’d meet, so darn kind she’d probably get a cutie mark for it.”
“Um… I think that’s Fluttershy.” Twilight joked.
“Naw, even Fluttershy’d be jealous of her kindness, she’d be perfect…. our perfect little girl… our one and only.” Applejack started to snivel; glad she had Twilight to help her escape the darkness.
“She… she doesn’t have to be, AJ.”
Applejack pulled her head up and raised an eyebrow. “what’d ya mean, Twi?”
“She doesn’t have to be our only one, it didn’t work once, but maybe-”
Applejack cut her off. “Ah don’t think Ah’m there yet, Twi. Maybe someday… but not yet.”
“Applejack, you’re the most important pony in my life. If wanted a foal tomorrow I’d be fine, if you never want a foal I’d be fine. Just as long as I have you, and you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Same goes for me, sugarcube, Ah love you so much.”
“Um… maybe she should head inside,” Twilight suggested.
Applejack was about to ask why when a sudden roar of thunder made her once again aware of the poor weather conditions the season was bringing. “Ya might be right ‘bout that, Sugarcube. You head inside, I’ll just be a minute.”
Twilight gave Applejack a concern look, but she waved it off. “don’t worry Ah’m ok, at least… better than before. Ah pinkie promise Ah’ll be just a minute.”
Twilight gave her a small smile and peck on the cheek. “I’ll go make some hot drinks, don’t be too long.”
Applejack watched Twilight quickly gallop for cover, an exercise in vain as she was already completely soaked. Applejack looked back up the clouds, the same cloud she was screaming at just a few moments ago. Ah don’t know how that girl does it, but she always cheers me up. Even when she thinks Ah’m the supporter, she’s always there for me.
Applejack’s thoughts were halted as a small crack appeared in the clouds. It let the sun shine in one very specific spot, right on Applejack. Maybe my ray of sunshine ain’t gone, it was just hiding, and sometimes… it takes a very special pony, to help you see the light in the dark. I'll always love you, my ray of sunshine.