A Joke Too Far

by DouglasTrotter


Chapter 1

Loud chirps from the cicadas echoed in the air. On a hot summer day inside the Cutie Mark Crusader club house, in the Sweet Apple Acres field a little ways from the barn, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo sat on the circular carpet in the center of the small, one room area. A book lay open near Apple Bloom’s front left hoof. While her eyes scanned over the books contents, her potion set in front of her, small sparks spewed forth from Sweetie Belle’s horn; the filly unicorn levitated a sewing needle, maneuvering it through pieces of fabric. Two pieces of cloth were stitched together with a fine yellow thread, and then a blue one.

Three hours passed since the fillies woke and gathered in their usual spot. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle heard a familiar sound that seemed to dwarf the cicada chirps. The sound, though not unusual, repeated itself several times since Scootaloo’s arival.

Apple Bloom looked up from her book and turned to her right. “Scoot, will ya’ll stop grinnin’ and gigglin’ like that. It creeps me out. I gotta get this concoction right. Otherwise the cord won’t have enough ‘springiness’ to it.”

The cicada chirps enveloped the club house once more. Sunlight pierced through the club house’s single window, its rays of light illuminated the final passage of the “Alchemical Notations and Instructions” book that Apple Bloom read. Rhythmic sounds from the insects soon subsided as the all-too-familiar sound of a stifled giggle came.

Sweetie Belle opened the sewing kit she received from her sister, placed the needle inside, and said “finished” before she looked at her pegasus friend. She trotted over to Scootaloo then tapped her on the back. “Are you ok? Do you need to see a doctor? That’s the tenth time she’s giggled to herself, Apple Bloom. Not to mention she kinda strolled into the club house with that same grin. Wait, I know. She has a colt friend. I knew you had a special some pony.”

Apple Bloom closed her eyes and pointed her right hoof at her open mouth, a retching sound quickly followed. Sweetie Belle leaned in close to Scootaloo and said, “Who is it? Is it Rumble? It’s Rumble. I knew it.”

Scootaloo raised her hoof then stopped. After she rolled her eyes, the filly continued to examine her scooter. Sweetie Belle levitated her new patch job of the embroidered tarp to the window, receiving a quick “hey!” from Apple Bloom.

“I’ll get it!” Scootaloo jumped up, a knock breaking the tense moment. Wind rushed passed the club house. Several hoof steps followed and faded before she flung open the door, “Huh? If Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are playing. that stupid. game again….”

On the small mat at the front door sat a small, tan colored package. The parcel cradled in her hooves, Scootaloo darted back inside. She tore into it like an eager child that wanted to see what their present would be.

Inside lay a scroll and small contain, the glass object being smaller than the smallest jar of apple jam preserves; its top had a white colored pegasus on it with a red cross, a blue label around the container’s midsection.

Sweetie Belle’s horn emitted a few sparks when she levitated the jar out of the box onto the table, Scootaloo nabbing the container before it could fall onto the floor. Sweetie Belle gave a sheepish grin to Scootaloo’s devilish glare. Apple Bloom’s meticulous eyes scanned the label, and then the scroll contents after she unfurled it.

“Who in the hay would shell out fifty bits for — Scootaloo, did you get scammed by Flim and Flam?” Apple Bloom said.

Scootaloo’s eyes widened. An ecstatic grin came on her first pass of the scroll’s instructions. After she composed herself, relinquishing her grin, Scootaloo said, “Remember when I was excused from school that one day? Yea, thanks for reminding me about all that homework Apple Bloom. Anyways, yea, Rainbow Dash was so awesome. I was nervous, but she went with me and my mother to the doctor. The doc prescribed some gel for my wings and said it has a good chance to help me fly. My wing muscles are just a little weak is all.”

“Half this stuff doesn’t sound right.” Apple Bloom said. The label listed several ingredients, causing the filly to raise her eyebrow. “Are you sure you visited a doctor and not some shyster? I mean, ‘Extract of cloud vapor?’”

Scootaloo grabbed the container and grinned at it, giving a stifled giggle. Placed back onto the counter, light from the nearby window lit up the directions and the container that sat beside it. The pegasus filly read the scroll a fifth and soon sixth time.

“Another thing, why deliver it to the club house? Wouldn’t it be delivered to your house?” Sweetie Belle said.

“I uhh, kinda left a note on the front door to deliver it here.” Scootaloo said. Her wings twitched. Her body trembled. After a swift pat on the back from Sweetie Belle’s left hoof and Apple Bloom’s right hoof, they read the directions for a final time. Scootaloo popped off the container’s lid, “Ok, just slather this gunk on my left and right wing… there, it’s done. Now, I just have to wait till, *sigh*, next morning.”

Apple Bloom read the directions once more. She turned towards the clock that sat on the wall near the lantern in the club house. “It says the stuff takes eighteen hours to start workin, so, since it’s eleven o’clock on the dot right now, it’ll be like six in the morning when it should take effect? Huh, that’s odd.” Apple Bloom’s nostrils flared. Her body shivered for a second before she waved her hoof at her friend, “It’s nothin Sweetie Belle. This stuff just has an odd smell. The smell is kinda familiar for some reason. Ah can’t quite place mah hoof on it. Anyways, the potion turned red. Just splash this on the cord and done. We got ourselves a magically imbued bungee cord.”

Scootaloo gave a final stretch of her wings, the medicine now dry. The three fillies nodded to each other and shouted, “Cutie Mark Crusader Bungee Cave Diving Spelunkers!”

Apple Bloom closed the door to the club house then hopped down to the ground near her friends. “There’s a hole on the farm Ah know of where mah sister had a problem with those diamond dogs. This is gonna be good. Just gotta watch out for them feisty mongrels.”

“No worries,” Sweetie Belle said, fluffing her mane. With a devilish smirk she quipped, “I will get my sister if we run into trouble, heh heh.”

The three fillies chuckled at one another. They stopped. Their eyes glanced around. Wind rushed passed them as a fourth laugh came from the tree tops. Apple Bloom raised her ear, shrugged, and trotted off into the distance with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo not too far behind.

“She took the bait. She’ll be a laughing stock,” a voice said as two eyes focused on Scootaloo.

“Yea, funny.” Another voice said, replying in a melancholic tone. “I’ll head home for now and catch up with you later.”