//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 *Rewritten* // Story: Maximum Ride: Cause Saving Just One World is Too Easy // by Jspang //------------------------------// Turns out, the purple unicorn pony lives in a tree. Go figure. I mean, I had half expected a cave underneath a rainbow waterfall, but whatever. It's still weird. Our diminutive, quadrupedal (yay, big words!) guide had led to the town that Gazzy had seen, but kept us out of sight in alleys and the like every time another pony walked by. For some reason, she didn't want a bunch of strange creatures with wings causing a scene. It was about the same as being on Earth, except harder, 'cause you know, no humans. Also, there were apparently pegasi and normal ponies (with a given definition of normal) here. I made a mental note to ask Twilight about how they fly on suck a crappy wingspan when I saw one pass overhead. Anyway, we entered Twilight's weird treehouse to find books, books, and more books. Either our host was an uber-nerd on par with Peter Parker, or she lived in a library. "Spike, while I clean up these books on magical theory I was reading, will you change the sign to 'closed?' We wouldn't want any patrons coming in right now." Oh, so both then. Wait... Magical theory? Twilight's horn started glowing with a pale, purple light. Several books strewn about the room suddenly glowed with the same light and floated into the freaking air, shelving themselves. When the now revealed as magical pony turned back to us, she found five birdkids staring back at her in shock. Nudge explained to Iggy why everyone was doing so, and then it was six birdkids. The mare balked under our gaze. "Do I have something on my face?" she asked self-consciously. And that's when Gazzy broke. "WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!" he screamed, throwing his hands in the air. "Have you guys been seeing this crap?!" "No," Iggy muttered angrily. Gazzy ignored him. "Colorful, talking ponies with magic wands in their skull, talking lizards the size of a teddy bear, ponies with wings flying on bullshit wingspans are just yukking it up all over the place! THIS PLACE MAKES NO SENSE! WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT IS MY LIFE?!" "Gazzy, maybe you should just calm down," Angle tried, bless her. "No, Angel. You gotta draw the line in the freaking sand somewhere. You gotta look inside yourself and say, 'What am I willing to put up with, today?' NOT! FUCKING! THIS!" After he finished his outburst, the room was dead silent. I had never heard any member of the flock swear like that, especially not sweet, fun-loving Gazzy. The eight-year-old continued fuming for a few seconds before he slowed his breathing and the redness drained from his cheeks. "Okay," he whispered, then raised his voice to us. "I'm sorry, but I needed to let that out." Twilight shook her head and apologized. "I don't know why you're so offended, but I'm very sorry if it was something I did." I belatedly tried to do some damage control. "It's nothing you said. Where we come from, there's no such thing as magic. So yeah, we're a little caught off-guard by it." Internally, I was screaming about as loudly and twice as foul-mouthed as Gazzy had been, but I was sick of being rendered speechless by reality-shattering ponies, so I made a pact with myself to take everything from this world in stride. "Really?" the unicorn asked in disbelief. "Every creature in Equestria has and uses magic to some degree. Unicorns obviously use it with their horns. Pegasi can manipulate the weather and support themselves on their small wingspans. Even earth ponies are granted increased strength and stamina, along with their affinity with nature and plants. Then, of course, there's..." The fact that she made logic-defying revelations boring probably says a lot about her personality. Although that may be partly due to my resolution to no longer allow such things to bother me. And that's when the pink pony hopped out of a nearby shelf, from a space between two books that I couldn't fit my finger in. "Hey, Twilight!" the newcomer shrieked at a pitch that was right on the edge of human hearing. "My back left hoof got all tingly while the left side of my flank itched! What kind of crossover are we doing today?" I could already tell that I would get along with this pony about as well as Batman does with the Joker. The hyperactive mare didn't even give Twilight the chance to answer before rushing over to confront us. "Ooh! You're new! I'm Pinkie Pie! What are your names?" She didn't seem very fazed by the fact that there was a bit of a species gap between us. After another quick introduction, Pinkie Pie launched into a narrative of exactly what we looked like and why that was cool, which somehow devolved into a monologue about parties and sweets, before culminating with "...and then I said, 'Oatmeal?! Are you crazy?!'" I'll spare you the details. You're welcome. You know, since coming to Wherever the Hell, Ponyworld, we have been shocked into silence far too many times for my liking. Regrettably, every single time it has been extremely justified. Iggy was the first to break the silence with an anguished scream while clutching his ears and hamming it up like a pro. "Dear Lord," he muttered in mock terror. "There's two of them. There is no God. The time of humanity and the world is at an end." Twilight, looking somewhere in between amused and worried at Iggy's "acting," tried in vain to reassure us. "You really don't need to worry about Pinkie. She may be very... excitable, but she means well. Though she should know not to pop out at someone who isn't used to her... Pinkieness." That last bit was directed at the pink pony in question, who at least had the decency to look sheepish. At this point, there was a knock at the door, which Twilight opened with more of her telekinesis, (I can't believe I actually said that) revealing four new ponies and one dragon. Upon entering, their greetings were cut off as they caught sight of the flock. Their reactions were about as amusing and varied as I imagine ours were. "What in tarnation?" "Oh my..." "My goodness!" "Dear sweet Celestia's sun-marked plot!" The last one, a pegasus with a rainbow-striped mane, of all things, received icy glares from both Twilight and one of the new ponies, another unicorn. Grinning despite the looks she was getting, the pegasus simply chuckled to herself, giving a nonchalant toss of her head. I liked her. Twilight, realizing her effort to look ferocious was doing nothing, smiled warmly instead and trotted over to the newcomers. "Girls, I know they look strange, but I don't think the flock means us any harm, so please be on your best behavior." She pointed a hoof to each of us in turn. "This is Max, Angel, Iggy, Nudge, Fang, and... Gasman, right?" Gazzy responded with a devious cackle, giving no indication to his earlier rant. I did not feel comfortable being in the same room with him after that. "Hey," I softly but menacingly said, catching his eye. "That best behavior thing goes double for you." He got the idea. The purple unicorn seemed to miss the exchange, and began introducing her friends. "Well, you've already met Pinkie Pie, and this is Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy." Each pony responded to her introduction with a wave, with the exception of Pinkie, who felt it necessary to give each of us a bone-crushing hug which we returned with varying levels of enthusiasm, and Fluttershy, who seemed to be attempting to hide within her own mane. After the introductions were all made, all of the ponies were eyeing us expectantly. I supposed they were waiting for the explanation I had promised Twilight. I was of two minds on this one. On the one hand, the flock has been tight-lipped about our time in the School for our entire lives. It was necessary both to conceal our "identities" and to keep the erasers off of our tails. However, there really wasn't a reason to keep secrets anymore. In a world populated entirely by talking ponies, we were going to make a stir, with wings and a tragic backstory or without. Plus, I don't think I could live with myself after lying in the face of cute, innocent ponies. Then again, I would feel just as bad destroying their innocence, so I decided to give them the PG version. "Alright, I'm gonna make this relatively quick," I started, ignoring the looks of shock I'm sure the flock was giving me. "We're humans, and we obviously aren't from around here. Most humans don't have wings. We're special cases. When we were still fetuses, bastard scientists we call whitecoats took or bought," I spat that last word, "us from our parents. They grafted avian DNA into us and made us faster, stronger, more perceptive, and generally wingier than regular people, along with some other mutations that seem to happen at random. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" Pinkie Pie screeched, bounhing and waving her hoof in the air. "Call on me! Call on me!" I sighed. "Yes, Pinkie?" "What's an avian?" I just barely resisted the urge to facepalm. The flock didn't. "Take your best guess," I snarked with a small shake of my wings. She gazed intently at me for a moment, before asking, "Pegasus?" Since I honestly couldn't tell if she was joking or not, I decided to continue. "Anyway, for the first couple years of our lives, we were tortured by countless experiments that had absolutely no regard for our personal safety. For example, Iggy here had the best eyes of all of us, until the whitecoats decided to give him night vision. He can't see anything, now. Darn." The ponies gasped at that, but I wasn't even close to finished. "Anyway, despite all this, there was one whitecoat that cared about us, one who knew what the others were doing was wrong, one who decided to do something about it. His name was Jeb." I clenched my fists and felt tears threaten to fall at the thought of our father figure. "He smuggled us out of the School and took us to a safe place. He raised us and taught us to read, to write, to fight, to survive, to live. Those few years were the happiest of our lives. Then, one day, Jeb disappeared." I could hear the ponies sniffing, but if I looked at them I doubted I could keep my own tears in. I hated this. I hated not being in control of my emotions. I had cried more in the last year than I had in the entirety of my life. "I was unofficially in charge of the flock for a while, until the School found us again. They didn't take too kindly to our escape, and they kidnapped Angel. When we took her back, we found out that Jeb hadn't died, but had betrayed us. He was working with the whitecoats and torturing Angel. Since then, we've been on the run from the agents of the School, unable to stay in one place for very long, trying to learn anything about our pasts. We finally found a place we thought we could settle down when we met my mom, but then we discovered the whitecoats' plan to come here in order to corrupt or rule it or something, and I just couldn't let that happen. So... now that the sob story's over," I looked at Twilight, trying in vain to ignore the streaks of wet fur under her red eyes. "Who can we talk to about dealing with the whitecoats?" Much as I hate dealing with authority even when it's not a megalomaniac who wanted my head on a platter with a side of mozzarella sticks, I wasn't dumb enough to think we could take on that many whitecoats and flyboys alone. We would need some backup, and I was hoping that I could find a way to convince the pretty pony princess that we were the good guys. I've had some experience with being an outcast. People don't like things that are different, and I assumed that ponies were the same way. Twilight dried her eyes with a hoof and sniffed before speaking. "I can write a letter to the princess for you. She'll know what to do." Well damn. That pretty pony princess thing had been a joke. Now class, what have we learned about the universe? "Spike, could you take a letter for me?" While she dictated a letter to someone named Celestia, I checked on the rest of the flock. They were clearly hurt by the memories, but not even Angel was on the verge of tears, as I was. Now deprived of my last way to stall, I finally made eye contact with the ponies. Like Twilight, they all gazed at us with sympathetic, tear-filled eyes. Even the butch, rainbow-haired one had wetness in hers, and she was trying just as hard as I was to hide it. Surprisingly, the one who was taking my story the hardest seemed to be the yellow one that was so wary of us, initially. Fluttershy, I think it was. She was making no effort to disguise the tears freely streaming down her face, looking at me with nothing but pure, honest pity and sympathy. As soon as I looked her in the eye, the mare sprang forward and wrapped me in an embrace that rivaled Pinkie's with its tightness and enthusiasm. "Oh you poor, poor things!" she wailed just barely above normal speaking volume as the rest of the flock snickered, only to find themselves on the receiving end of their own hugs, so at least I didn't have to kill them for that. "Don't you worry. Those mean, old whitecoats will never hurt you again. You're safe here. The princess will sort them out." "I... would... like... to have... some oxygen... first," I wheezed. The pegasus immediately let go, apologizing in a heart-rending, adorable manner. "Thanks for the sentiment, but these guys can't be reasoned with. Now that they know we're here, they won't stop until we're dead and they're ruling this place. They kinda wrote the book on megalomania." Twilight shook her head adamantly. "Princess Celestia would never allow something like this to continue in Equestria. She will attempt to find a peaceful solution, but even if it is like you say, she won't hesitate to act." So that statement brought several questions to mind. First of all, Equestria? Second, why were these ponies being so trusting and taking nearly every word we say as the truth? And finally, freaking Equestria?! I spent the next hour or so with Twilight and Spike, warily discussing our worlds and their similarities. Apparently, the universe (or multiverse, I guess) has an interesting sense of humor, as literally all of their city names consist of awful puns. I do have to admit, though, I cracked a smile at Cloudsdale. The flock and the other ponies seemed to get over their initial apprehension pretty easily, and were now spread out around the room, speaking much more comfortably than Twilight and I, probably because they hadn't seen Fang and I destroy a couple of flyboys. I was torn between being happy that they were finally coming out of their shells to people, being creeped out by the fact that those people were in fact alien ponies, feeling guilty because I was the one who forced them in those shells in the first place, an worrying that they weren't taking part in their daily dose of paranoia. Man, this "feelings" crap is really hard. Gazzy and Iggy were chatting it up with the rainbow one and the orange one who, I kid you not, was wearing one of those big cowboy hats. The way they were snickering mischievously while the cowgirl shook her head told me to keep a very close eye on my on them in the near future. Pranks are no joke. Nudge and Pinkie Pie were conversing faster than I would ever have imagined possible. I was thinking that having an equally talkative counterpart might, at the very least, keep her motormouth pointed away from us. On the other side of the room, crowded around a small table, were Angel, Fang, the prissy-looking unicorn, and surprisingly, Fluttershy. Total also seemed to have joined their soft-spoken conversation, an he was basking in the attention he would receive any time the pegasus would coo at him. Everything felt so surreal. Other than the fact that we were in an alternate universe holding conversations with talking, multi-colored ponies, of course. It felt calm, content, not at all like the fast-paced, fight-or-you're-dead lifestyle we usually deal with nowadays. I had only gotten a quick taste of this while living with mom, and I tried to block out memories of Jeb, so this whole thing actually felt... nice. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I missed Twilight's question. "I'm sorry, what was that?" "I said, 'why did you feel it necessary to kill those whitecoats' Did they truly deserve to die?" It took me a couple seconds to piece together what she was asking. "Oh. Okay. First of all, those weren't whitecoats. They weren't even people. Those thins were robots. They weren't alive." I got a blank stare. "Alright, think of a metal pony with no brain. It's a machine made only to follow the orders of the whitecoats. We call them flyboys." The mare stared at me with a mix of confusion and unease evident on her face. If I had to guess, I'd say she was wrestling with herself over believing me about this impossible technology or thinking that the flock was just a bunch of killers. It figured that we'd get sent to some bullcrap magic pony land and not somewhere with awesome tech like Star Wars. Finally, she spoke. "Alright, I guess I believe you. Something did feel really unnatural about those... flyboys, you said?" I nodded to her and she added, "Other than the fact that they were bipedal, winged wolves that talked in monotone, of course." That actually got a chuckle out of me. I was taking a genuine liking to this pony. She reminded me of myself, if I were a magical, talking, nerd pony. We talked for a few more minutes about this and that until I felt a prickling on the back of my neck. Years of being on the run or in captivity have taught me never to ignore that, and I spun around, expecting a fight. Instead of an ambush, or even worse, one of Gazzy and Iggy's pranks, I came face-to-face with the pony they had been talking to. Rainbow Dash, I think her name was. "Can I help you?" I asked, still expecting some kind of prank coming my way. The pegasus grinned cockily, which really didn't reassure me in the least. "I want a race." I blinked. "Excuse me?" The orange pony with the cowboy hat apparently heard her. "Are ya serious, RD? How can ya be thinkin' of flyin' when yer meetin' literal aliens?!" Rainbow Dash simply gave a derisive snort and a toss of her mane. "C'mon, Applejack, give me some credit. I'm always thinking about flying. Besides," she turned back to me. "I know a good flyer when I see one, and you're clearly the best of your buddies, here. I wanna see how I stack up. So whaddya say?" I was about to make a sarcastic comment on how her "ability" must be very refined to work on a species she had never seen before, but an enormous belch and subsequent gout of flame cut me off. I faced the source, to find Spike calmly unrolling a scroll with an official-looking seal on it. It probably speaks to how jaded I was at this point that instead of freaking out, I merely ruminated on the wisdom of keeping a fire-breather in in a library in a tree. Then again, for all I knew, ponies could like, drink fire, or something. It wouldn't be the weirdest thing I had seen that day. It seemed that the rest of the flock hadn't adapted my coping mechanism, more or less. They all jumped pretty violently, with the exception of Fang, who just turned to face the little fire hazard. What did the princess say, Spike??" Twilight asked eagerly. He skimmed the scroll's contents for a moment, before responding. "Princess Celestia wants to see us all in Canterlot. She's sending two chariots for us." "How far is it to this Canterlot?" Iggy could barely get that out with out laughing. "About a thirty minute flight," Twilight answered instantly. Angel beat me to questioning that one. "But I thought we were taking chariots." "We are," Spike deadpanned as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You know... flying chariots." "No, we don't know," I shot back. "Frickin' aliens, here. Remember?" Gazzy quickly defused any possible argument by interjecting. "I don't wanna fly on some freaky horse-" "PONY!" the ponies screamed in unison, so much for subduing the situation. "Some pony... flying... chariot," he nervously amended. The flock gave various indications of their agreement. Rainbow Dash, dancing impatiently on her hooves, finally burst out, "Hey, speaking of flying, what about my race?!" She shouted that last bit about two inches from my face. "You know what?" I smirked. "You're on." ---------- Julia Carpenter, head researcher and now field tester of Project: New Beginnings, wholeheartedly regarded her brainchild to be an enormous success. She had already made a very powerful friend. For the umpteenth time, she admired her new form. It had been a little awkward explaining to her colleagues-no-her underlings why she had grown two feet, gained claw-like nails on both hands that were hard as diamonds and thirty pounds of pure muscle, developed unearthly, magical powers, and a penchant for monologuing and doing the villain laugh (you know the one), but they were quickly put in their place. I told you that this would work to our mutual benefit. The creature Julia had come to refer to as the Nightmare purred in her head. Besides the physical aspects, that remains to be seen until we take this... Canterlot. She responded, reluctantly tearing her gaze away from her own body and exiting her tent beside the open gateway, where flyboys were constantly coming and going, bringing supplies from Earth. So, tell me more about these princesses an their Element of Harmony. We have a lot of preparation to do.