ARTICLE 2

by Muppetz

ARTICLE 2 Part XV

“Skip,” Shane said distastefully, indicating his disapproval for whatever song was playing on through the shared ear buds.
“Noo I like this one!” Pinkie protested stiff-arming the human to keep the device out of reach. She scooted over on the cot and bobbed her head enthusiastically to the upbeat tones coming from the blue bud in her ear.
Shane rolled his eyes, but didn’t otherwise argue with the pink pony sharing his cot, choosing instead to remove the bud from his own ear and let the bubbly mare have her moment. He pushed his own bud into Pinkie’s free ear. She didn’t even seem to notice as she swayed and danced in place to the human’s music device.
Luna sat with a pair of small complicated machines at her hooves, poking the strange things experimentally. They were half circles of flexible plastic, ended with a cushioned pad and a short swiveling appendage made of the same material. “Major? What are these devices?”
“Radios,” Shane answered dully. “You use them to talk to people.”
Luna looked slightly confused but to curiously prod.
Shane looked down at Twilight who was still sitting on the padded floor of Shane’s cell, eyeing the human with an irritated expectant look.
“What?” Shane asked.
“Don’t what me,” she scolded, “You know why I’m mad.”
“I’m not apologizing for that,” he defiantly insisted. “It’s really your fault anyway.”
“MY FAULT?! You attacked my brother!”
“I thought I was helping! You’re welcome by the way,” he replied hotly.
“He was only playing!”
“I didn’t know that! You were screaming.”
“I was laughing,” she corrected.
“It’s not my fault you laugh like panicky rape victim.”
Twilight huffed but didn’t otherwise protest further. If she were to be perfectly honest she wasn’t really mad at him for hitting Shining Armor. Although she wasn’t happy about it he was trying to help her, and for that she was strangely flattered. What she was mad at was the fact that he refused to apologize.
“All I’m asking is that you say you’re sorry for a misunderstanding. Stop being so stubborn,” she restated.
“Fine! I’m sorry for my totally justified and understandable reaction to a misinterpretation of pony greetings.”
“Understandable?! How was that a ‘justified misinterpretation’? You broke his nose!”
“First of all I didn’t break his nose, and excuse me, I didn’t know screaming and dry humping was the traditional way for ponies to say hello to their siblings!”
“It’s not!” she asserted resolutely.
“So you admit I’m right.”
“No!” she countered, well beyond the point of frustration. “I admit that while it may have been somewhat unorthodox and childish of Shining Armor, you were still wrong for jumping to ridiculous conclusions, attacking my brother, and still need to apologize.”
“I did!”
“A sincere apology, not a sarcastic one. And not to me but Shining Armor.”
“I’m not apologizing to him,”
“Why not?”
“I don’t like him,” he said crossing his arms resolutely.
“You don’t even know him!”
“I can tell from his face,” he assured, the corner of his lip curling slightly. “I’m not gonna like him.”
Twilight groaned, gently massaging her temples with her hooves. “You are the opposite of friendship,” she concluded.
The human cocked his head, as if trying to decide how serious an accusation that was on this planet. He was interrupted by the pink earth pony bumping into him as her dancing became increasingly enthusiastic. The synthetic music was now loud enough to be heard despite being firmly lodged inside Pinkie Pie’s fluffy pink head.
Twilight considered telling her to turn the volume down before she did any permanent damage to her eardrums. Shane just frowned at the pony for hijacking his toy, and scooted further down on the cot.

A jumble of flashy looking magazines landed roughly across Celestia’s desk.
“We have a problem,” Aegis said equal parts dread and exhaustion inflecting his voice. He collapsed onto the sitting cushions in her office, rubbing his eyes miserably.
Celestia removed her small gold rimmed glasses and lifted a magazine with a raised eyebrow. It was one of those magazines you’d see in line at the market, lots of ridiculous articles and hit-and-miss celebrity gossip. The kind of thing you’d pick up solely because you wanted something to look at while you waited in line.
This one was emblazoned with electric yellow letters, and a cover photo that made the princesses stomach drop. It was somewhat blurry and not the most flattering angle, the cynical part of her mind noted, but it was clear enough to plainly tell it was her in the photo. She was walking down the dimly lit streets of Canterlot with her sister and the human, accompanied by the elements of harmony and a number of royal guards.
She would be lying if she said it wasn’t a well timed photo. The party looked unforgivably suspicious. Running around under the cover of darkness with an intimidatingly strange creature like Shane.
Canterlot was not unacquainted with visiting dignitaries or tourists from far off lands, but even a simpleton would notice this was something out of the ordinary.
No mere diplomat or vacationing individual would merit such royal attention or unwarranted secrecy. She finally got around to reading the headlines.
CANTERLOT EXCLUSIVE
THE PRINCESS’ PET PROJECT
WHAT THE CROWN ISN’T TELLING YOU!

It was just vague enough to warrant curiosity. She doubted they actually knew anything. She didn’t even have to read the article to know it would be filled with a lot of accusatory questions and panic inducing conjecture. She flipped to the indicated page anyway. It would be an entertaining read with no real evidence apart from an incriminating photograph. And ponies would eat it up.
“When was this released?” she asked as she scanned the words.
“It’s going out tomorrow,” he answered gravely. “One of my lieutenants has a brother in the press. We’re just lucky some journalist couldn’t keep his mouth shut. We just as well may have had no warning at all.”
“I’d hardly credit this by calling it journalism,” Celestia noted coldly. “Is it too late to stop it?”
“Would you want to?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
Celestia knew it as well. In all reality she probably could have the article stopped before it hit the shelves, but to do so would also validate all the ridiculous conspiracy behind it. The roots of this nightmare had already taken hold. To rip them out now would only do more damage than it would prevent.
“I think we should count ourselves lucky that whoever our anonymous photographer is didn’t take their pictures to a more credible news source.”
“So what are we going to do?” the stallion asked impatiently.
“Nothing,” Celestia said dismissively setting the magazine aside and levitating her glasses back onto her nose.
“Nothing?” he repeated skeptically.
“Nothing,” she reaffirmed. “We offer no comment whatsoever. I doubt many ponies will take it seriously to begin with. There are countless excuses or cover stories that would nicely cover our actions but we can’t come up with a cover story this close to going public with the incident only to admit it was a lie a short time later and immediately lose all our credibility in one swoop.”
“Very well,” the older stallion replied with finality, clearly biting his tongue.
“Do you disagree, Commander?” Celestia prompted.
“No, your highness. I am merely unaccustomed to the sit and wait approach to dealing with problems.”
Celestia smiled understandingly. “I admit I am not fond of the choice either. But it is the right one. Our plan is passed the point where this little inconvenience can do any serious damage. The ponies of Equestria will know the truth soon enough, maybe this will even warm them up to the idea that an extra terrestrial is now residing in their midst.” She returned to scanning the piles of scrolls on her desk.
Aegis rose from his seat. “Will that be all then, Princess?”
“Please have one of my attendants send for Luna. She’ll want to know about this.”
Aegis nodded compliantly as he bowed to the alicorn, turning towards the door and seeing himself out.

The lunar princess landed on a parapet. She tapped the microphone on the headset that sat neatly by the corner of her mouth, before depressing a small lever on the earpiece with the tip of her hoof. “Can you hear us now?” Luna said, positively delighted at the technological human wonders.
The response was almost immediate. “Yes, I can still hear you. Just like the last time you asked… and the time before that…” A slightly synthetic version of Shane’s voice came from the cushioned pad covering Luna’s ear. He had adjusted the flexile plastic head band to its smallest setting in order to fit the device on Luna’s head until it rested nicely behind her horn.
She didn’t even seem to notice the obvious annoyance in the human’s voice as she once again took flight, too enthralled by the concept of instantaneous communication. She could hear his voice plain as day, despite the fact that he was still sitting in his cell with Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie, likely in the middle of some argument with the bookish purple pony.
Luna had taken it upon herself to put the radios to the test, and was now flitting from place to place, excitedly checking to see if the human could still hear her. The little machine had yet to fail her. If what the human said was true, they would continue to do so up to a number of miles. He went on to dote upon the little machine which were apparently much much nicer than the ones they had in ‘the fleet’, wherever that was. Luna had made the mistake of once again questioning the logic of a military issuing sub-standard equipment, which spurred the human into a very opinionated tirade about the Army and Navy enjoying ridiculously superior budgets, despite the fact that they were both, as he so eloquently put it, ‘gayer than AIDs’.
Clearly the strange brotherly animosity human military branches shared with one another was a subject to be avoided until a later date, when the Marine was feeling less spiteful about whatever perceived wrongs he believed his parental government had done to his people.
“Luna, it’s Shane,” the human’s voice broke over the radio after a few minutes of gentle gliding.
“Who else would it be?” she questioned with a shit eating grin.
“No that’s just…you’re supposed…shut up,” he scolded. Apparently you were expected to communicate differently while using the devices. In a world where several dozen individuals could be using similar devices at once Luna may have understood, but Shane seemed to forget there were currently only a few of these on the entire planet. Annoying him with improper radio etiquette was surely going to prove to be one of her new favorite pastimes.
“There’s someone here looking for you.” Luna’s eyebrow lifted quizzically. “Go talk to your sister. It sounds important.”
“We will go there directly,” she promised into the microphone
“Roger….don’t lose my radio. Out.” “TELL HER PINKIE SAID H-” The radio went silent before the pink voice in the background could finish.
Luna chuckled softly before angling her wings toward Celestia’s tower.

She landed gracefully, her glittering shoes clicking softly against the marble. Her horn glowed as the balcony doors opened, revealing her sister whose eyes had peeked up from her gold rimmed reading glasses.
“…what are you wearing?” the snowy alicorn said after shooting an inquisitive glance of her baby sister’s headgear.
“A wondrous invention,” she beamed as she began removing it to offer Celestia.
The princess of the sun did not, however, return her younger sisters smile. “It will have to wait a moment Luna.” Celestia slid one of the magazines toward the edge of her desk.
Luna’s own smile slowly faded as she stared at the cover. Luna sighed tiredly after only a brief moment. She raised a hoof to the side of her head, ignoring Celestia’s look of confusion as she began to speak.
“…Major?” she paused. “I think you're going to want to see this.”

“Unknown subspecies… …genetic experiment gone wrong?” the human read aloud as he thumbed the pages of the magazine. “I like that one,” he commented to the pink puffy pony at his side as he habitually ran his hands through her curly pink mane. He sounded oddly amused by the article, as they admired scanned the printed words.
Rarity was flipping through a magazine with Applejack reading over her shoulder. Rainbow Dash was asleep in an arm chair, apparently having woken up from a very serious nap to attend the impromptu meeting.
“How did this even happen?” Twilight questioned desperately as she stared intently at the cover of her own copy. Her mind played over and over the night the photo was taken. She couldn’t for the life of her recall any stray ponies at that hour. To know that there was not only somepony watching her, but to see the evidence in the form of a published article, was unnerving to say the least. For it was undoubtedly her on the cover, plodding a few paces behind the princess.
“It’s really nothing more than bad luck,” Luna replied distastefully. “Somepony just so happen to be in the right place at the right time. Nothing more or less.”
“I look taller,” Shane said idly, more concerned with the photo itself than what its potential fallout. He glanced around the room at the assembled herd of equines. “Although it’s not like I have very stiff competition.”
The ponies ignored the muttered comment about their stature. “So what are we going to do? Can you stop it?” Twilight asked somewhat desperately.
“No,” Celestia replied. “Even if we could, we wouldn’t. For all intents and purposes this article changes nothing. It’s too late for this to do any harm. I just wanted you all to be aware of the situation and know that day to day life may need to be a bit more carefully handled.”
Luna piped up from her side of the couch. “I think we may have been afforded an interesting opportunity here,” she offered. “If anything I think this may be a good thing.” Luna’s unusual appraisal of the situation now had all ears attentively awaiting an explanation. “This is nothing we weren’t expecting to happen anyway. Secrets kept within castle walls tend not to stay secret for very long. It was only ever a matter of time before the idle conversations of guards and castle staff made the human public knowledge anyway. At least now we have the benefit of knowing when and how the rumors reveal themselves.”
“Ah think she mite have a point,” Applejack finally chimed in after like five chapters without a speaking role. “Ponies are a gossipy lot. It was gonna slip out an if ya address it now, ya get tha chance to git ahead of the herd and lead it where ya wanna go.”
“My point exactly,” Luna said thankfully. “We have said it before, ponies will react according to how WE react. If we approach this cautious optimism, our subjects will do the same. But if we attempt to hide this and cover our tails like frightened foals then they shall respond with like reactions.”
“Are you saying you want to purposefully expose the human before the official announcement?” Rarity asked, slightly taken aback by the proposition.
“Yes and no. Nothing so calculated. But a few incidental appearances or sightings could serve us well, I think. It would simultaneously ease ponies into the news and also prove that we are not attempting to hide anything.” Luna sounded confident about the idea. “No more armed escorts, no more scheming under the cover of night. We go about our day as if the human is nothing more than a typical visiting ambassador. Should somepony begin to ask questions, we answer them truthfully. Major Doran is a representative of an allied race of humans from a faraway land.” She shuffled her wings, making herself more comfortable. “That alone would be enough to slate the curiosity of most ponies. In a few days time, Celestia will call for a press conference and only then will we reveal the true depth of the situation.
“You don’t think ponies will be upset that you withheld the full truth from them?” Twilight asked uncertainly.
Luna huffed with a grin. “We could announce the institution of free ice cream day and there would still be ponies upset by the notion. There will always be a number of dissenting opinions, regardless of the news or the way is it released. I’m afraid they will simply have to ‘get over it’.”
“But do you really want to give Shane, unescorted access to the castle?” Twilight continued skeptically.
“Yeah, I’m sitting right here,” the human pointed out dryly.
The collected equines ignored him. “Not entirely unescorted. Between the eight of us, somepony will be able to keep him from getting into trouble.”
“Once again… still sitting here…hearing everything that’s being said.”
“Very well then,” Celestia began, “It might be somewhat trying, but our time until the conference is numbered in mere days. We shouldn’t have to maintain much of a ruse for very long. The griffon Prime Minister is well on his way by now. Shining Armor will surely want to send for Cadence. Our time for stalling is running short.” She turned to Shane who was looking calculatingly disinterested. “In the mean time, I need you to focus on your exams.”
“Oh, you can see me? Wonderful,” he said bitingly unhappy with being ignored.
“Stop being dramatic,” she chided. “You have a lot to do tomorrow. Luna and Twilight will walk you through everything. And remember the more you cooperate the sooner it will be over.”
“Noted,” Shane answered absentmindedly running his fingers through Pinkie Pie’s curly mane. The pink earth pony merely rolled her neck back and forth, leading the human’s fingers wherever her heart desired. From the dopey look of shameless satisfaction, it was becoming painfully clear why the mare usually made a point of commanding the seat closest to the human.
“Umm, Major?” Fluttershy’s timid voice emerged from the silence.
Shane’s relatively calm appearance immediately soured at the timid pegasus’ words. He stared abjectly off into the distance, clearly waiting for something.
“Oh!” Fluttershy stammered, “Right!” She lowered the polarized lenses of the human’s Oakleys over her eyes, as was stipulated by Shane if she were to be allowed in the room. The nose piece was a bit small to rest comfortably on her muzzle, but the reflective glasses covered her satanic eyes fairly well.
“Now, what?” Shane asked, adequately satisfied.
“Um… well I was wondering, if just maybe you might be alright with me coming along with you and Twilight tomorrow for a few of the tests?” The butter colored pegasus tapped the tips of her hooves together self consciously as the words left her mouth.
It was a daring, if not adorable, request coming from Fluttershy. Regardless he was fairly prompt to shoot the idea down with a curt and immediate, “No.”
Celestia sat up, extending a wing across Fluttershy shoulders comfortingly. “I am sure Shane wouldn’t mind in the least bit if you were to accompany them.” She assured the mare in a sweet tone, despite the warning glare she was leveling at the human the whole while.
He glared back at the solar alicorn, his mouth screwed shut with discontent, only breaking his frown when Pinkie nudged his hand with her nose, unhappy with the lack of attention. He begrudgingly returned to scratching behind her ears.

Celestia sat upon her throne, dealing with the daily grind of government work with surprisingly little difficulty that morning. No issues arose that were overly complicated. Each problem that presented itself was handled with practiced ease. She refused to jinx the day by saying it was going too well, but it was a delightful change of pace nevertheless.
So far it had seemed that nopony had seen fit to mention the article that was supposed to hit the shelves only a few hours ago. Perhaps she had overestimated the fallout of the leak.
She rose from her gilded throne. With most of her daily obligations fulfilled she didn’t think there was any reason she could not excuse herself for a moment to stretch her legs and roam for a bit. She still had an hour or two until her court officially opened anyway.
The solar diarch trotted toward the massive doors leading out of the throne room. The two gray coated unicorns lit the enormous frames with a dull glow of magic, opening the way for their princess.
Celestia took a few more steps forward before stopping in her tracks. On the other side of the portal stood a crowd of ponies patiently waiting for her courts to convene. A good number sported cameras or large note taking pads. But slightly more chilling was the fact that nearly all of them carried a copy of a certain flashy looking magazine in their hooves.
The conglomeration of reporters, nobles, and everyday concerned or curious citizens seemed momentarily surprised by the Princess’ sudden appearance. It only took a second for them to snap into action. Flashing camera bulbs and an uproar of voices suddenly shattered the previously silent chamber. Each one struggled to have their voices heard over the others who were all asking a slightly differing version of the same question.
“Enough!” Celestia shouted, flaring her massive wings for emphasis. The crowd’s sudden silence was almost just as jarring as the cacophony of questions had been.
“Now,” she said in a much cooler manner, “Calmly and sensibly explain to me what exactly is the meaning of this?” She already knew, but for the sake of appearances she figured it would be best to play it down as much as possible.
“Princess Celestia,” a young light brown mare lowered her nose toward the floor in a hasty gesture, “Have you seen the latest issue of the Canterlot Exclusive?”
“I am afraid not, my little pony,” she answered maintaining a perfect mask of slight confusion. “Is that what has you all in such a frenzy?”
The collected mass of equines nodded. The mare offered the alicorn her copy, which Celestia took and examined carefully for a moment while the mass of ponies breathlessly waited for her reaction. A little bit of acting could go a long way.
They were, if nothing else, surprised when she started to laugh lightheartedly. She wiped a non existent tear of mirth from the corner of her eye. “I swear, sometimes it seems you all look for excuses to incite a panic. It’s just a silly article my little ponies.”
The group finally let out their collective breath. Each releasing a sigh of pointed relief. They smiled at one another amicably.
“So it’s not true princess?” One concerned stallion in the back piped.
“What do you mean?” she feigned ignorance.
“About the creature in the picture. It’s fake, right?” She fixed the group with an amused stare.
“Of course it’s true,” she answered simply.
They froze in place, as if not a single one was sure they had heard correctly.
“…w-what?”
“That was Major Shane Doran,” she explained. “He is a representative from a race of humans very long way away, and our personal guest. He has been staying here in the castle for almost two weeks now. Have you really not noticed him until now?”
They all shook their heads, looking somewhat pale, but not yet in a panic.
“Is he…dangerous?” the inevitable question came. Ponies after all were by nature an ever cautious species of prey.
“From what I understand he is a member of a clan of very talented warriors. But I can assure you, he means Equestria no harm.” Which isn’t exactly a lie, she justified.
“Princess!” a pegasus from the back eagerly began waving a hoof in the air for attention. “Would it be possible to schedule an interview with it?”
“I’m sure you could try but would not expect it to be any time soon. The Major has been exceedingly busy assisting us with several scientific endeavors.” Being a lab rat for example. She added in her mind. “You see his species has only recently been discovered, and he has very generously agreed to help us understand more about them. I was planning on hosting a press conference after the conclusion of our studies. If you’re genuinely interested, you could simply attend, we will be more than happy explain all of our findings in detail then.”
“It’s fluent in Equestrian?” the mare from earlier asked, noting it in her book.
“He speaks it quite well.” A thought suddenly occurred to her. “Although he seems to have difficulty understanding the appropriate use of swear words. So I’ll apologize in advance for any offence he may inadvertently give. It is most likely a mere misunderstanding of verbiage.” The reporters chuckled lightheartedly at the thought. Truthfully Celestia was rather proud that she came up with the excuse on the spot. The human’s apparent need to swear would have come off as hostile or uncultured to the general public. Playing it off as lingual confusion could very well mask the casual rudeness in his normal speaking voice.
“Princess Celestia,” a noble looking unicorn began, “Forgive the impertinence, but if a foreign dignitary is visiting why were the members of senate or houses not informed?”
“Well I wouldn’t exactly call his visit ‘political’. It’s more of a scientific endeavor, really.” Again not exactly a lie. She would have to end this impromptu interview soon before the ponies began seeing the obvious exclusions in her story and asking more difficult questions.
“Princess where exactly is this human from?” Like that one. She thought tiredly.
She was going to have to answer this one very carefully. She couldn’t outright lie now only to confess the truth a few days later. But she also couldn’t reveal the truth prematurely. So her mind settled on the middle ground. Do neither.
“Well, truthfully we’re not entirely sure.” The crowd ceased their minute ministrations and fixed the princess with confused stares. “He’s doing his best to explain it to us. But so far the best we understand is that he is from somewhere very far away, and he has gone to impossible lengths to get here.”
“Why IS he here,” the same pony asked.
“He seems to have stumbled upon us entirely by accident. He mentioned to me that he did not actually expect to find any sentient life here.” She stopped herself, before she dropped too many hints that he was actually an alien. “He seemed just as surprised by us as we were by him.”
“You mentioned he will be holding a public release to inform the general public?”
“That is correct. But he will not be hosting the conference himself. I will be in attendance along with my sister to answer any questions you might have.”
“So we won’t actually get to see it?”
“Oh I’m certain you’ll see him eventually, but he’s been keeping a very tight schedule recently, working tirelessly to help us better understand his species.”

An obnoxious snore cut through the small waiting room. Shane was fast asleep in a chair too small for his frame while his head lolled against the wall of the waiting room.
Twilight rolled her eyes at the noise. Maybe he would be more awake if he kept some semblance of a normal sleeping schedule. He would fluctuate between an inane ability to stay awake for days on end, to not being able to go more than six hours without a nap.
Dash stood on the chair next to him sticking her face into his precious personal bubble. “Hey.” With no visible response she poked him in the cheek a few times. “Hey!”
He snorted and jerked a bit, from the sudden jolt back to consciousness. He saw the rainbow-maned pegasus through his half open eyes and frowned. “What?” he croaked still not fully awake.
“I need you to do the thing again.” She said plainly, holding the human’s media playing device on her nose.
“What thing?” he asked still blinking and sniffing.
“The thing that makes this work again,” she insisted. “It keeps telling us it’s locked.”
He lazily plucked the device from her nose, running his thumb over the screen a few times. He hit the button on the side one last time before handing it back to the excited mare.
She thanked the human as she hopped back down toward Twilight and Fluttershy. Shane grumbled something and nestled lower in his chair, hugging his shotgun like a stuffed animal. He was back asleep before Dash even sat down.
“Jeez he can sleep anywhere.” She commented chuckling. “And that’s coming from me.” She set the device back on the ground. “Wait. What’s this?”
The screen usually had a series of symbols, one to play, one to pause, two to control volume, and two to change songs. This screen was new. It was a row of words, with a small simple picture of a house on the corner.
>Music
>Videos
>Pictures
>Radio
>Marketplace
>Internet

The list of options produced a whole new series of questions. She had already seen the section for music, as fun as that was to explore, the fact that the device could do things other than play songs was too intriguing to pass up.
She touched Radio with the tip of her hoof. She and Dash immediately winced as static filled the ear pieces. She hurriedly tapped the volume button to a tolerable level. While Dash removed the bud and massaged her ear, shooting Twilight an irritated look.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m new to this,” she offered flicking her own ear to work out the pain. Now that Radio was out of the question she tried another one.
Pictures
Twilight couldn’t see anything wrong with the option. Curiosity moved her hoof toward the screen, clicking the button. No pictures presented themselves, but a new list replaced the old. There was Library, Date, Slideshow, and Favorites.
She touched favorites. A series of pictures scrolled onto the screen. Dozens of tiny frames all neat scrollable rows of four. She touched the first one. It was a still shot of an old barn. There was another human in the distance. Male from what she could tell. But she didn’t think it was Shane. He was roughly the same height, but his hair was darker and his build was heaver. It made Twilight think of a laborer. She scrolled the picture away.
The next was definitely Shane, albeit a bit younger. His face was the same yet somehow completely different. He wasn’t frowning or glaring. He was smiling, not the sarcastic or condescending smile she knew, a genuine one. His eyes were wider and considerably brighter. He was dressed in a neatly pressed military uniform. It was a sharp green dress uniform with prim khaki shirt and tie, capped with an ornate black and green ceremonial cover.
He was standing with another human. Twilight wanted to say he was the one from the fist picture. He held an arm around a grinning Shane’s shoulder,
Twilight’s eyes widened as the obvious realization struck her. The other man was Shane’s father.
The older human had wore a dark blue jacket and simple white shirt and yellow tie. His tanned face was worn. The more she thought about it the more the description lumberjack seemed appropriate. He easily broke six feet tall, and even managed to make Shane, whom she had previously thought massive, look normal by contrast. Although if the humans in the background were any comparison she began to think their size could be hereditary. He had a neatly trimmed beard, which was beginning to gray. His brown eyes were darker than Shane’s blue ones. An attribute he must have inherited from his mother wherever she was, Twilight had no idea. But there was a light in the older man’s face. His darker eyes were glittering with a pride that could only be felt by a parent seeing their children succeed.
“Wow,” Dash piped up from behind Twilight. “Look how young he looks.”
Twilight felt a chill of surrealism. She was looking into the past of another dimension. The captured memories of an alien no less.
She scrolled again. There were several dozen humans. All dressed in the same desert camouflaged uniforms Shane wore. One was in a strange adaptation of the same in blue. She would ask him about that later. It was nearly impossible to tell which one was Shane. They all looked remarkably similar, and the clarity wasn’t exactly spectacular.
She scrolled again. This was definitely Shane. Although she wasn’t sure what exactly she was seeing. A helmet and polarized goggles covered most of his face. He was crouched by the hood of a heavy boxy tan vehicle. It was peppered with a line of neat little holes along the side, and a few in the front of the thick windshield. There were several other humans in the distance. Wherever they were, it looked hot. The dry sandy environment made all the armor and equipment look miserable.
Shane was making a strange gesture with his fingers with a wicked smile. Another Marine in the behind the vehicle was holding a crude sign made of cardboard. They had written “#UNBREAKABLE” in hastily scrawled letters.
“What are all these?” Fluttershy asked quietly. She had wondered over to see what all the interest was.
“I think they’re pictures that Shane took before he came here,” Twilight explained shortly.
“Well I doubt he took them after he came here.” Dash pointed out snickering. Twilight ignored her, scrolling to the next picture.
The next was similar. Shane was holding a cardboard sign. This time the smile was sad. This time the sign was longer. “Happy birthday Kylie, Sorry I missed it.”
Twilight scrolled. Through several more. Mostly very similar. Marines, she didn’t recognize, usually doing something silly or drawing something inappropriate on things. Several were destroyed buildings, burned out vehicles, a wall riddled with bullet holes. Then one caught her eye.
It was Shane again, dressed in plain clothes. He was sitting in an armchair. He was holding a small bundle in a light pink blanket. There was a female human behind the chair leaning over the backrest apparently in the middle of a soft laugh. Even though Twilight had never seen a female of Shane’s species. It was painfully obvious. She had softer features, her eyes were a familiar marbled blue. Her hair fell around her shoulders in dark blonde waves. She was very pretty if Twilight were any judge of such things, but with only vague assumptions about human concepts of beauty she could really only guess.
Her eyes turned back to the odd bundle of blankets in Shane’s arms, which was held with such soft reverence it reminded her of… Twilight felt her stomach flip when it hit her like a lead brick. It was a baby...
She froze. Twilight looked up at the sleeping human to ensure he was still unconscious. She suddenly felt like she was invading something private.
“Is that…” Rainbow trailed off.
“It’s a foal,” Fluttershy said covering her mouth with a hoof. “He had a foal!?” Fluttershy exclaimed almost panicked.
“Shhhh!” Twilight hushed the pegasus. She looked over her shoulder. Shane was still fast asleep. “We have to show these to the Princess,” she said finally.
A nurse came out of a door, holding a stack of papers and very small vial of dark red blood. Twilight snatched the device off the floor. She wasn’t sure why.
Twilight recognized the nurse. It was the beige unicorn mare from the checkup yesterday. Twilight felt slightly guilty that she never asked for her name.
“And here we are!” the nurse said cheerily. “I’m sorry it took so long. We couldn’t use any magical analysis. Had to do it the old fashioned way.” She offered an apologetic smile.
“No apology necessary,” Twilight assured nervously. “I completely understand. Thank you for all your help.” The purple unicorn stuffed the paperwork into her saddlebags.
“I think you’ll want to read over that when you get the chance, we had some very unusual findings. We’re not sure what it all means. Nothing really bad from what I could tell, just …different.” The nurse eyeballed the still sleeping human with an odd expression.
“I’ll be sure to do that,” Twilight promised. “Thank you again.” The nurse smiled happily and nodded. “Dash wake him up, we need to get going or we’ll be late for the next appointment.”
The pegasus hopped to her hooves trotting over to Shane. Rainbow put her forelegs on his chest and pushed, rocking the human back and forth. “Hey! Wake up! We’re need to get go-IIING!” The pegasus yelped as Shane sleepily reached out and grabbed her around the barrel and pulled her close to his chest like a blue feathery pillow.
Rainbow’s face flushed beat red at the human’s unconscious affection. She tried futily to squirm away, but every time she did he only hugged the pegasus tighter. Even nuzzling the top of her mane while murmuring in his sleep.
“Awww,” the nurse cooed at the sight. Twilight tried her very best not to laugh.
“Help!” Rainbow managed to plea from her cuddled prison.

Luna slammed the door to the throne room, sealing out a writhing mob of questions and curiosity. She leaned against the massive frame to catch her breath.
Celestia looked up from her comically oversized stack of documents. “Oh good. You already know.”
“That is one way to put it,” she replied collecting herself. “We did not anticipate it being this bad.”
“Do you think we made a mistake?”
“Nay. They are merely curious. Just as they were when the first of the minotaur lords landed on our shores.”
“That was centuries ago,” she noted dryly.
“Ponies may change over the years but their nature does not,” she replied perceptively.
“True and sagacious, though that may be, I am afraid we are still are left to deal with the masses for the next few days with little to nothing to give them in the way of answers.”
“Ponies love a good mystery,” she smiled.
“Luna, be serious,” Celestia reprimanded.
“What do you wish me to do, Celestia? We knew this was going to happen. We only have to avoid the big questions for the next few days, and then we can both rest easy knowing it will only get much worse.” Luna’s words were without sympathy or comfort, but they were true and the elder alicorn knew it. “It’s big news. Possibly the biggest news in Equine history. We are not alone in the universe. There are others out there. Others that make our most advanced technologies look like the simple minded tinkering of small illiterate children. The world will not take kindly to this type of revelation. You know this. There will be panic. There will be fear. And I for one have to admit it is not entirely unjustified.” Luna shuffled her wings into a more comfortable position.
“Not to mention the fact that we alone are sitting on trillions upon trillions of bits worth of alien devices. Even the non-functional equipment would be worth staggering amounts of money. Corporations, private firms, banks…” Celestia rambled on. “Spell gems are a multinational business. What happens when they find out this human came along and made every aspect of their product obsolete with some new device that’s centuries ahead of ours.”
“Ponies will be mad,” Luna responded simply. “I am sorry to say it, but it’s the truth. Markets will change, stocks will crash, and fortunes will be lost. But new ones will take their place. It will take time. But things shall inevitably even out again. For now, however, we can do nothing but weather the storm and hope that we learn enough from these tests to ease their fear and slate the brunt of their curiosity.”
The massive throne room doors cracked and a guard stuck his head inside. “I’m sorry to interrupt highnesses but…the Griffon Prime Minister’s chariot has just arrived.
“He’s early,” Celestia murmured sourly.
“Don’t be so glum, sister. I am actually looking forward to this.”

She was older than Twilight, possibly in her thirties. Snow Drift was her name. It fit her soft white coat breezy blue mane. “Stand on the platform and take off your shirt,” the pegasus mare instructed in polite but firm tone.
“Well you’re awfully forward.” Shane grinned as he stepped onto the small platform.
“Don’t get your hopes up, tiger. I’m a married mare,” she grinned right back and she slipped on a long white lab coat that matched her white fur. She worked her wings through the holes cut in the side of the garment. “Besides, as a doctor I could never fraternize with one of my patients.”
“Well, you’re a veterinarian so I would kinda hope not.” he teased as he pulled off the skivvy shirt tossing it towards the rest of his things.
“You’re an astute one,” she said amusedly. “Did they tell you beforehand or was it all the posters of cats and dogs that gave it away.”
“Cats and dogs.”
“Ah,” she smiled in mock surprise. “Well I suppose we’ll get started. Come here and let me have a look at you.”
Shane knelt down for the mare. She gripped his head in between her hooves and stared at his face for a moment.
“Is this part of it?” he asked sounding confused.
“Shush, and yes,” she answered curtly.
She rolled his head back and forth. Pausing occasionally to place a slight pressure in certain spot. She pulled down on an eyelid, humming to herself. “Keep your head still and follow my hoof with your eyes.” She kept one of her hooves on his cheek to steady his head while the other touched his nose and pulled away, venturing left and right, then up and down. “Say, AAH.”
Shane opened his jaws mimicking the noise. She nodded and bobbed her head, occasionally pulling back on his lips to reveal his teeth.
“Alright,” she murmured to herself.
She moved her hooves down his neck, having him move his head from side to side as she did. She continued down his front, pushing and prodding, and offering simple commands. “Lift your arms.” He did. She placed a stethoscope in her ears, pressing the metal end to his ribs.
He stiffened uncomfortably. “Oh by the way it might be a little cold,” she added dryly. He sniffed and shook his head. “Breath normally, please.”
She continued for several minutes. Pressing this or prodding that. She would tap on bones and joints. Searching for what, Twilight had no idea. Rainbow Dash was clearly regretting coming along for this portion. It wasn’t very exciting. Fluttershy on the other hand was watching with rapt attention.
The doctor let out a slow whistle when she came to his back. Shane stiffened as she ran a hoof over the skin above his hip, tracing the strange pattern of scars that peppered his flesh. “What happened?”
Shane opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again. He cleared his throat, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “I caught a cluster of rocket shrapnel outside Al-Safira on my second deployment.” His tone was somewhat distant.
“A rocket?” the doctor asked, still poking at the area, much to his apparent displeasure.
“Put about ten ounces of shrapnel in my hip.” He laughed attempting feebly to make it sound genuine. “I didn’t even know until they tried to pull me out of my truck.” He let out another humorless chuckle, shaking his head. "We got shwacked like six miles outside the city. I thought I pissed myself at first, my seat was all hot and wet, couldn't move my leg, then they came to yank me out...there was a shard stuck in the bone. I never screamed so hard in my whole fuckin life.” He chuckled humorlessly as he searched his pockets for a cigarette.
Everypony stuck the human with a kind of shocked look of confusion and horror. Dash’s eyes were wide with excitement.
The doctor was the first to compose herself. “Did you suffer any negative lasting effects?”
“It hurts sometimes. The doctors just said it was phantom pain from the surgery though. So they basically told me to just suck it up.” He explained with annoyance.
“I see…” she continued.
She had the human perform a few simple tasks. She would have him roll his head, stretch his arms, stand on one leg, flex this, bend that. She spent a surprising amount of time on his fingers, carefully appraising the digits’ dexterity.
She prodded along his stomach before a curious hoof moved a little too far south for the human’s liking. He snatched the mares hoof like a snake and pulled the doctor up to eye level as she yelped in surprise.
“Hey!” he poked her in the nose. “No…bad!” he spoke to the doctor like a pet that had piddled on the carpet.
“Oh stop,” she chided rolling her eyes, still hanging from the human’s grasp. “I’m a doctor.”
Shane set the pegasus down. “I don’t care. You’re going to have to take me to dinner first just like everyone else.”
“I have a husband,” she reminded a playful grin on her face.
“He isn’t invited,” Shane crossed his arms resolutely.

The griffon stepped out from the carriage, rolling his powerful auburn wings. He may have been getting on in years, but he was still an impressive specimen. His chestnut fur covered his lithe lower half, melding into his smoky gray feathers.
He looked up at the castle. Canterlot was a beautiful city without a doubt, but it had always come across a little too flashy for his taste. It was a nice vacation spot but not somewhere, he decided, he would care to live.
He noticed a retinue of ponies approaching. He smiled when he saw Princess Luna at the head of the pack. Ponies loved smiling after all. Not that griffons didn’t per se. But with ponies it almost seemed a social requirement, rather than a genuine depiction of emotion.
“Princess Luna,” he said warmly bowing his head as a gesture of respect.
“Oh please, minister,” Luna laughed, “Dispense with the formalities. I wouldn’t call this an official business visit.” Yet… she added in her mind.
“Forgive me. Those in my position do well to maintain our precious courtesies,” he chuckled back. “How have you been, Luna?”
She sighed. “Well enough I suppose. Busy,” she added distastefully.
“I understand,” he sympathized. “I had to pull more than a few strings to weasel myself a bit of vacation time to sneak off here.”
“I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”
He waved a claw dismissively. “My position allows me the unique ability to schedule the occasional getaway under the guise of ‘foreign relations’.”
“I’m happy you accepted. I think you’ll find it an interesting learning experience.” She spoke with an odd inflection the griffon could not identify.
“I’m actually quite excited. I may not be the foremost authority in astronomy, but I’ve found it helps exponentially to know a pony who is, how you say, in the business.” He laughed at his own joke.
“Come along then. I shan’t waste any time.”

“We have it in the medical wing while we perform a few additional tests,” Luna said with a wave of the hoof.
They passed a number of doors, the majority of which appeared to be labs, medical offices, and research facilities. The section of the castle was an interesting contrast to the rest of the structure. Most of the royal palace radiated a sense of elderly warmth; large colorful stained glass windows and elaborate tapestries. This, however, was more sterile. It was whitewashed and clean, utilitarian and business-like.
The griffon was a little confused why house a rock in a medical facility, rather than say, an academy laboratory, but his excitement suppressed his urge to question providence.

Luna led him into a final room toward the end of the hall. There was a room with several chairs facing an observation window. Celestia sat in one, regarding the pair with a hesitant, somewhat remorseful smile. His confusion finally directed his gaze to the glass screen, through which the griffon saw, what was possibly the strangest sight he had ever seen in his many years of life.
There was a creature, the likes of which Magneus had never seen nor heard, running in place on a treadmill. There was an array of sensors and wires attached to the creature’s stomach and chest, along his arms, and on his neck. A plastic mask covered the majority of his face monitoring the measured draw of breath the thing took as it ran. A retinue of ponies of all colors and shapes studied machines or scribbled on clip boards, all frantically noting whatever strangeness was happening in the room.
“Is this a joke?” the griffon asked in somewhat of a daze.
“I am afraid not,” Luna said seriously. “You wished to see the object that fell from the heavens that night?” Luna extended a hoof toward the window. “There he is.”
“Princess…what are you trying to tell me,” he asked quietly.
“It was not a meteorite, Prime Minister.” Celestia stepped in. “It was a ship.”
“That isn’t possible.” His mind immediately denied.
“A few weeks ago, I would have agreed,” Luna scoffed.
“It crashed several miles south of Manehatten,” Celestia continued to explain. “He was the only survivor.”
“Now you’re telling me there are others!?” the griffon shook his head, his mind already swimming with confusion and uncertainty. “Where did it even come from?”
“A different plane of existence. A stream not of our own.”
“No! That’s not possible. It’s…science fiction. You can’t expect me to believe this! You cannot jump slipstreams. It can’t be done!” he denied almost frantically.
“Magneus,” Celestia began softly. “These things have technologies advanced beyond what we could ever possibly imagine. And they’ve found a way. But with his vessel destroyed… he’s stranded here.”
The griffon sat down hard, watching the creature run endlessly in place. He worked a claw down his face. “What do they want?” he asked with quiet desperation. “Why are they even here?”
“If what he’s told us is true, they arrived purely by accident.”
He laughed humorlessly, “And now you’ve spoken with it? How do you cross planes of existence by accident?”
“He says the ship was experimental. The idea was to fold the fabric of reality over on itself to cross two incredibly distant points instantaneously. Something went wrong, and they punched straight through the barrier dividing our worlds.”
The griffon just shook his head. Hoping desperately this was all a nightmare that he would soon wake from.
“Magneus, we invited you here for a reason. We need your help.”
“Do you understand what this means?” he asked softly.
“Yes, we do,” Luna replied gravely. “Which is exactly why we need the Empire’s help. We have been close allies for a very long time, Minister. The world is going to know about this one way or another. We thought we would extend the courtesy of a little early warning.”
“I almost wish you hadn’t,” he rubbed his eyes. “How am I supposed to tell the Queen this?” he asked dreadfully. “She’ll have me in a mental hospital before I finish a sentence.”
Celestia almost laughed. The griffon queen was young for her station, having inherited the position from her father after he passed. Yet despite her age, she had established herself well in her rule, proving more than capable of the job. She was proud, methodical, decisive, and fiercely intelligent. No doubt thanks to the years of preening from her father readying her for the throne.
“Can I speak to it?” he asked finally.
“Of course,” Luna offered, approaching the glass.
“What is it like?”
“He’s an ass,” the lunar princess said sourly, earning more than a confused look from the griffon.
“You’ll see for yourself,” Celestia explained.
Luna tapped on the glass barrier with a hoof. The creature turned his head, now panting heavily and glistening with sweat.
The dark alicorn waved a hoof at the alien amicably. He presented his middle finger to the diarch, before returning to his running.
“What was that?” the griffon asked.
“We’re not sure yet,” she admitted.

One of the lab ponies offered the towering creature a towel which he gratefully accepted, still breathing laboriously. The lab ponies made themselves busy documenting every possible thing that had occurred during the test. The human wasn’t particularly fast, but he had kept a steady pace up to a number of miles. His physiology made his species, not necessarily sprinters, more like marathon runners. Even young ponies would likely be able to outrun him at full tilt, but he would still be there plodding along long after they had collapsed from exhaustion. He even explained that that was the trait that had allowed his species to hunt and kill game far faster than even the fastest human.
The creature dried himself, catching his breath, and being repeatedly denied a smoke break from the princess’ protégée.
“Not bad,” Rainbow approached the human flitting up to hover on his level. “Keep it up and I might have to make you my new workout partner.”
The human laughed breathlessly. “You workout?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she immediately became defensive.
He raised his hands innocently. “Nothing, …you’re just kinda… skinny,”
“What?! I am not skinny! I’m aerodynamic!”
He just laughed, apparently happy to have gotten under the pegasus’ feathers. He found his shirt. He tugged on the olive colored apparel, before pausing for a second. He squinted at the window in the back of the room.
“What the fuck is that?” he pointed dramatically at the griffon standing with the princesses.

The griffon froze. The alien saw him. It was pointing right at him. Oh ancestors it’s getting up!
Luna laughed. “Uh oh, he’s noticed you.”
“What does it want?!” he asked nervously looking to the alicorns.
“He’s probably just curious. He’s never seen a griffon before.”
The Prime Minister looked back into the room, heart sinking with cold dread when the creature was no longer present.
The door to the observation room burst open. “What’s that??” Shane practically screamed with wide excited eyes.
The griffon let out an involuntary squawk of fear as he was blindsided by the alien creature.

Celestia had never seen Shane this enthralled, or Magneus this uncomfortable. The whole scene was immensely amusing. Shane was utterly fascinated with Magneus, and made that fact apparent with his complete disregard for the griffon’s personal space.
“Major, this is Magneus Ren, Prime Minister of the Griffon Empire.”
“Oooooh,” he cooed spellbound. He squished the Prime Ministers face between his hands, cocking his head to and fro. “Look at you! You’re like two things!” Shane stood facing Celestia with a deathly serious gaze. “I want one.”
“What?” Celestia asked, unsure what he meant.
“I want one,” he repeated. “Get me one of these,” he lifted the griffon by his cheeks.
“Shane you can’t have one,” Celestia explained, amazed that she even had to do so. “Griffons are not pets-”
“NA Ah ah!” he cut off, “You can’t just wave eagle hybrids in front of my face and then tell me I can’t have one. This is metal as fuck.” He grabbed the griffons claw, holding it out toward Celestia. “It’s got talons! And wings!”
“Umm…excuse me…” the Prime Minister interrupted.
Shane looked down at it with eyes as wide as dinner plates, turning back to the alicorn. “AND IT CAN TALK!”

“Stop staring,” Twilight said through the corner of her mouth.
Shane ignored her, and continued to stare at Magneus with unbridled wonder, as he had through the entire meal.
Magnues cleared his throat trying vainly to regain some semblance of political discourse. “So…Major…Celestia tells me you are in the military. Certainly an admirable station. But if I am to ally myself to your cause, I would very much like to understand your species a bit better. I am sorry to admit but you must understand that this is a very delicate situation for us, and there will be more than a few that might question your…motives.”
Twilight elbowed the human in the side after several awkward moments of silence passed. Shane jolted. “What? …Oh…Sorry, I was imagining riding you into battle.”
The griffon choked on his food coughing up a sesame seed.
“What was the question?”
“He wants to get to know you better,” Luna shortened over the top of her glass.
“Oh,” Shane almost sounded disappointed. “What do you want to know?”
“Well, ahem, where exactly is it you are from?”
“America. Born in Kentucky, little town south of the Ohio river.”
Magneus just looked at him puzzled.
“Planet called Earth? Not helping is it?”
“I am afraid not,” the griffon admitted sadly. “Perhaps you could explain how you got here, or better yet why you came in the first place?”
“Well…” Shane sipped his own drink. Celestia had limited him to one glass of wine since they were entertaining foreign diplomats. “It’s a rather complicated story that I’m not fully privy to myself. But the short and sweet version is that we were chillin’ in our own universe, testing an experimental deep space vehicle. There were eleven of us mostly military scientists. I was part of a small security force, Marines. When we dove in into slipspace something went wrong. Our engine’s governors blew along with several other key systems. We dropped out as a safety measure. When everybody came-to we were here. When we tried to re-light the engines to get home they exploded and the planets gravity pulled us to the surface where we crashed in Sunshine and Moonlight’s back yard. You following me?”
“…somewhat,” the griffon admitted. “I must confess however much of what you say confuses me.”
“Good. It confuses me too.” Shane chuckled dryly. Shane polished off his drink. “What about you? Why did she drag you into this?” Shane nodded his head toward Celestia.
The griffon chuckled. “Actually Princess Luna dragged me into this.” The lunar princess harrumphed. “One of the members of congress spoke about a rumor of a meteorite landing in Equestria. I dabble in astronomy in my spare time. When I sent the Princess a letter asking about it she was noble enough to invite me here. It seems however the guise was to force me into this little conspiracy of hers.”
“Yeah that sounds like her,” Shane nodded. “Very duplicitous.”
“Well done, Major. That word had four syllables!” Luna teased in return.
Shane pointed at the dark alicorn. “You see what I have to put up with?”
The griffon chuckled heartily. This creature was so alien and yet so familiar. “You are an unusual one, Shane Doran. I must say, not at all like the fictional concept of aliens I’ve become accustomed to.”
“Yeah they broke the mold after me,” he grinned.
“For good reason I should think,” Luna jabbed.
“I had imagined little things with large black eyes, flying saucers, and an affinity for probes.”
“Oh I’ve got a probe... You’re just not really my type."
Rainbow Dash burst into a guffaw of unrepentant laughter at the off color joke, while the griffon chuckled heartily.
“I think the Queen will get quite a kick out of you,” Magneus commented idly. Celestia stiffened.
“What do you mean?” Shane asked.
“When you meet her I mean,” he clarified.
“I’m meeting who when?” Shane’s grin began to fade.
“I’m going to take you back to the Empire with me. Her majesty will certainly want to meet you in person. I can hardly explain this in a letter.”
Celestia interrupted, worried at the path the conversation had taken. “Magneus, I am afraid that won’t be possible.”
“That is why you’ve called me here, is it not? The human is going to come with me back to the Empire. I appreciate what you’ve done here, Celestia but you can’t possibly think that we’ll sit idly by while Equestria hordes the greatest scientific find in recorded history.”
“That is exactly what we had hoped to avoid by calling you here.” Luna interjected. “This isn’t about anyone hording anything. We’re trying to ease the world into this, not parade the human around like a trophy.”
“Do I get a choice?” Shane asked quietly.
“No.” Luna asserted.
“You all see how she treats me?” he asked in a victimized voice.
Magneus continued unfazed. “Princess I can appreciate that, but with all do respect, I do not think Equestria is properly equipped to handle a revelation of this magnitude on its own. The Empire WILL back you whole heartedly but we’re going to need more than happy assurances to lend our full support. I can not go to the Queen and tell her, the Equestrians have discovered an advanced alien life form and requested we get in line behind them, with nothing to back up my request.”
“We will not be sending you back with nothing, Minister, of that you can be certain. We’re more than willing to share every piece of information we’ve collected. But I’m afraid I must insist that all the physical materials remain under our protection. Until we can get a better handle on what we’re dealing with.”
“Minister you must understand that while I have no doubt the humans bear us no inherent ill will, any number of the artifacts we’ve recovered could be infinitely dangerous in the wrong hooves.”
The griffon looked at Shane who was nibbling on a piece of celery with an extremely dissatisfied look on his face. The griffon turned back to Celestia with a skeptical look.
“Especially him,” she assured with a grave voice. When the griffon’s face didn’t change she decided to prove it to him. She turned to the human who was playing with his food instead of paying attention. “Shane?”
“What?” he didn’t look up from his celery.
“What was your job back on Earth?”
“Kill people.”
“And what’s that on your back?”
“Shotgun,” he answered just as plainly.
“What’s it for?”
“Killin’ people.”
She turned her gaze back to Magneus who seemed a little perturbed, but not yet quite convinced. “Trust me, Minister. There is a part of me that is tempted to let you take all of this off my hooves. But for the mean time, let us handle it. The human is still getting used to life here, he’s traumatized dangerous and unstable.”
“I am NOT unstable!” Shane contested.
“I think he’s unstable!” Shining Armor offered from his quiet spot at the opposite end of the table, an ice pack still wrapped around his head.
“ARMOR!” Shane’s mood immediately darkened. “If I hear your voice one more time I’m going to come down there and stab you in it!”
“You’re going to stab me in my voice?” he challenged.
Shane ripped the knife from its sheath and began to climb over the table toward the stallion.
Twilight wrapped her hooves around his midsection, horn aglow, all attempting to keep the human from attacking her brother, for whom he had an inexplicably acute distaste.
Celestia just extended a hoof toward the scene, looking at Magneus with a bored expression.
“…I see. Perhaps it would be best to wait awhile before presenting…this to the Queen…” he admitted.

The human plopped down on his cot and stretched like a large dog.
Luna sat on the padded floor, making herself comfortable. “Alright, Shane. It seems we may have indirectly given you permission to wander the castle.”
Shane chuckled evilly, throwing a devious smirk at the princess.
“Stop that. Don’t make us regret this. I’m really trusting you here,” she pleaded. “We are begging you not to get into trouble. You are an adult, I implore you to act like one.”
“Do I have to talk to people?” Shane stopped snickering long enough to ask.
“Not if you do not wish to. But should the desire strike…”
“Just be myself?”
“No, not that. Be literally anyone but yourself.”
He laughed at the jab. “Well, I have a little project of my own I’ve been meaning to get to, so I don’t think I’ll have much time for sight seeing tomorrow.”
“Twilight will come get you around lunch time for a few more tests.”
“Then I’m done?” he asked hopefully.
“I doubt you will ever really be done. More can always be learned. But survive tomorrow and the next day. That is all the official testing I have scheduled.”
Shane nodded, not pleased with the tests, but clearly happy to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
“What’s this project of yours?” Luna inquired after a moment of silence.
Shane rubbed his face with his palms. “Well…It’s not really easy to explain, so I’ll see if I can even get it to work first. Then I’ll show you,” he promised. “Nothing really all that exciting. Just something I want to try… kind of a hopeful precaution.”
“That sounds rather optimistic for you,” she teased letting her silver saddlebag slide off her back. She circled in place before lying on the floor crossing her hooves in front of her.
He scoffed but continued. “Well… It’s not for me. It’s really for you.”
“You’re making me a present?” Luna’s eyebrow raised and she gave him a skeptical grin.
“Not really,” he smiled back. “But I think you’ll appreciate it anyway. You’ll see.”
Luna nodded, resigned to wait. “It seems I actually have something for you as well.” Her horn lit with shimmering blue magic. Shane sat up, curiously.
The alicorn drew a rectangular box from her saddlebags. She had the academy imbue the gift with several heavy enchantments, but she internally decided to omit that piece of information. Shane was still somewhat wary of magic.
“I originally came down here to give you this.” The box levitated its way over to Shane, who took it inquisitively. He opened the rectangular package.
Luna held her breath slightly when she saw his curious smile fade to a frown. He stared inside the box, nodding slowly to himself with a sour look.
“Are you fucking serious?” he asked neutrally
“I thought you would like it,” she said sheepishly. “I had it made for you.”
Shane reached in the box and held up the black leather band, holding it in the air accusingly. “This is a dog collar.”
Luna swore inwardly. She had secretly hoped he would think it was some sort of fashion accessory. “It’s not a dog collar,” she lied trying to sound offended at the idea. “It’s a gift. Just try it on. It will look good on you.”
Shane tossed the collar at the lunar princess where it slapped against her chest before falling to the floor with a pathetic plop.
She levitated it back to the human with an insistent frown. “You’re not even giving it a chance!”
Shane crossed his arms defiantly before something about the band caught his eye. “What is that?!” He snatched the collar from Luna’s magic. A little silver tag dangled from a small silver ring. He turned the circular silver tag over in his hands. “If found contact Princess Luna!? What the fuck is that?!”
“Well what if you get lost?” she defended.
“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe I could ask for directions!” he threw the collar back at Luna.
Luna blushed slightly, maybe the tag was a bit much. “You’re wearing it.” She ordered sternly.
“No I’m not.”
“Yes you are!”
NO, I’m NOT!”
Luna picked the collar up in her magic and advanced on the human. She had hoped it wouldn’t come down to this.

The sound of fighting quickened Celestia’s steps as she approached the cell.
“Hold still!”
“NO!”
Celestia reached the door where two tired looking guards stood. If the looks on their faces were anything to go on, this must have been going on for awhile. Shane was literally throwing himself around the small cell, attempting to buck the lunar alicorn from his back, where she had attached herself by wrapping her legs around his middle. Her horn was glowing as she apparently tried to strangle him to death with a black band of leather.
Celestia watched with sight amusement as the large human struggled for his life against the smaller alicorn princess. She knew she should probably stop them before someone got hurt. But it was rather entertaining. Besides, Shane was a resilient young thing, and Luna was an arguably indestructible alicorn. Shane jumped from his cot, flipping over in a very pro-wresting fashion and landing on his back trying to smush the lunar diarch. Luna squawked painfully but didn’t let go. She began feverantly flapping her wings, barely succeeding to lift the large man off the ground whose limbs flailed in protest.
“Am I interrupting something?” Celestia asked calmly snagging the attention of the combatants. Each of whom recognized the new arrival with surprise.
“Yes. Go away,” Shane answered sternly.

Shining Armor stared at the blank parchment for almost an hour. How in the hell was he supposed to explain this to Cadence. His wife would undoubtedly need to come down and visit personally, but he had no idea how to start the letter without sounding like a crazy pony. Dear sweetheart, your aunts captured an alien. Please come say hello to it. He laughed at the thought.
He placed the quill back in the stopper with his magic, waiting for the right words to come. He needed to communicate the severity of the request without panicking the mare. Even if he found the right combination of letters, there was a decent chance Cadence would simply not believe him. He wasn’t really the prankish type, but this would come so far out of left field that there was no way she would take it at face value.
He didn’t need her to believe him, he finally decided. He just needed to get her here to see for herself. Whether or not she took it seriously was irrelevant.
He lifted the quill once more, scratching the nub against the parchment.
Dear Cadence…