Chapter 16: The Incredibly Boring Day of Labor
After being able to use magic and fly for about a week, I’ve got to say that pegasi are probably the luckiest of the three tribes when it comes to just who got the best inborn abilities on average. Yeah, you’ve got your unicorns and their magic, but there’s maybe fifty unicorns in all of Equestria that come anywhere within a hundred miles of Twilight when she didn’t have wings. The rest of the lot are like Rarity, they’ve got one particular spell that they just kind of stumbled into, and some floating magic that can usually only pick up something of equal weight to their own bodies at the most, with other living things being a lot more difficult to fling around.
Now, pegasi…every single last one of them can fly. While the speeds vary from Fluttershy to Rainbow Dash, they call all catch air, hang out on clouds, mess with the weather and kick lightning into anyone who fucks with them. Plus there’s that whole protective magic stuff they’ve got going on that lets Rainbow crash into junk at a speed that should turn her to paste, but usually ends with her breaking through anything in her way. Oh, and a few of them, about equal to the number of magic-type unicorns, can do some emotional effecting junk with their eyes or voice.
It was a combination of the first and second to last abilities that allowed me to enjoy something that few humans ever did before, mostly out of that ungodly instinct for self preservation. I was skydiving, and without a parachute.
“WHOOOOOOHOOOOOO!”
The wind wildly whipped around my mane without bringing tears to my eyes thanks to the goggles Rainbow had lent me, and I dove straight down with my fake alicorn wings held to the side. I simply enjoyed the feeling of falling at a speed that had surpassed terminal velocity some time ago.
“Okay now we’re coming up on the ground, pull up in ten…five…no-”
As per Rainbow’s instructions, I unfolded my wings and flapped them as hard as I could before I…crashed into the dirt made two bouncy skips along the ground that spun me both backwards and upside down before I impacted a perfectly positioned tree and slid down along the ground with a moan.
But, apart from a strange urge to hurl despite my empty pseudo-stomach that didn’t really exist, I was pretty much fine. A little sore, groggy and all kinds of woozy. It was the ground that had the problem! The damn thing just wouldn’t stop spinning.
Then a pegasus with some kind of magical triplet condition walked into my view, and I fought to keep them all in focus as the three Rainbow Dashs gave me this bright smile while phasing into one pony, and then breaking apart again. “Hey not bad,” they said with only one voice between them. “Way better than last time, I think you actually managed to slow down before crashing. Now shake it off and lets get up there to do it again.”
When the three pegasi finally became one, I pointed a hoof at her and glared. “You’re not my favorite pony anymore.”
To which she responded by grabbing my tail in her teeth and yanking hard enough that my ass fell forward and I landed right side up before she started to drag me away from the tree. “I said shake it off,” she managed through a mess of my ass hairdo before spitting out my tail. “If you want to be in the Equestria Games, you’re going to have to learn how to turn like a real pegasus!”
“Alicorn,” I corrected her with a moan.
“Whatever!” she exclaimed before going back to glaring at me. “If we’re going to qualify for the relay race, then we’re going to need you to be able to turn on a bit, and this is the best way to do it!”
Once again, a moan escaped my lips. “Still don’t see why we can’t do this over water or something,” I grumbled.
Rainbow let out a huff. “Crashing builds character,” she replied with a frown. “Besides, crashing in water is…tricky. It gets all in your nose and..ugh!” The pegasus shivered for a moment, and I was caught wondering just how did ponies do underwater swimming. “Now get your cute little plot off the ground and back up in the air.”
For a moment, my mind raced to try and delay the inevitable return and fall from on high. At first I was just going to pretend to be out of gas and ask Rainbow for some extra juice, which would serve to shorten our practice time by making her too tired to continue. But then I found an oddity in Rainbow’s instructions that I couldn’t resist needling her with. “So, you think I’ve got a cute plot?”
Embarrassment flooded the pegasus’s scent, and I got up to look back at her and saw a huge blush covering her cheeks. “W-What?” she nearly shouted while I grinned at her, and then shook my ass a bit in her general direction.
“No!” the flustered pegasus practically shouted as she backed away from me.
“Oh yes you do!” I went on with a toothy grin.
More embarrassment came through her scent, and I swear her cheeks went red. “I do not. Your brain must be broken.”
I giggled. “It’s okay, Rainbow Dash, i mean, look at it,” I said before turning around and shaking it at her a bit.
“Gah! Cut it out!”
I wanted to continue with the whole thing but…messing with ponies who weren’t a bazillion years older than me just wasn’t my thing. And hell, I knew I was sexy from Celestia. If Rainbow was…checking…out…my…butt…
Yeah, okay, maybe it was a little weird. I blame my actions on a concussion.
My grin turned to a smile, and I didn’t pursue the issue any more. “Okay Rainbow I’ll drop it. But…um, if we’re gonna work out some more,” I added a little hesitantly, “can I get something to eat. Twilight skipped breakfast this morning.”
Rainbow gulped. “Oh um, yeah...sure,” she replied before she took a step forward. “if you need some l-friendship, I’ve got plenty. Rainbow Friendship Dash. Right here.”
I didn’t need the extra energy but…it would give Rainbow an out to end our practice session a little earlier than usual and maybe take a nap. And um…I’m sure there was some other reasons in their too but…the sooner I could get away from Rainbow, the better. Plus, turning into season one Rainbow Dash, the one that crashed through everything when it came time to make an entrance...it wasn’t all that appealing.
So I approached her and Rainbow kind of just crouched down as if to brace for a punch or something and closed her eyes. “Okay ready.”
The usual reaction from Rainbow got a roll of the eyes from me. “You know, most other ponies kind of like me…feeding off them,” I said after picking my words carefully. Admittedly my diet consisted mostly of Twilight, and I had just eaten Celestia that one time and the rest of the girls a maximum of three while Rainbow had gotten about seven or eight since we hung out so much.
“…that’s kind of the problem,” she mumbled.
Concern got me to stop, and I put a hoof under her chin to lift her head up to look at her with wider than usual eyes. “Rainbow, am I hurting you or something?” As far as I knew, the magic I took from the girls via their love wasn’t life threatening as long as I didn’t gorge myself too much, but…if Rainbow was hurting because of me…yeah, that scared the shit out of me.
The pegasus shook her head. “No! You doing your…thing. It feels…good,” Rainbow mumbled before she cleared her throat and looked at me in the eyes with a frown. “Now just hurry up and get it over with, okay?”
I shrugged, and did as instructed by the pegasus, taking a step forward and taking in a deep breath while inhaling part of her mystical essence. Rainbow tasted like…well, she was somewhere between Twilight and Celestia as far as overall flavor went on the strength of her love meter. It was had actually gone up some since the last time I ate her on the way back from pirate island.
As for the flavor…Rainbow was some fiercely excited and kind of a little spicy with a touch of apprehension…as if she was afraid of being my friend for some reason that had cropped up since I came back from my interdimensional adventure.
But hell, I was a changeling, and Dash had only really known me for a month. I could see why she would be a little worried about stuff like me turning out to be a bad guy. Especially considering we were all just waiting for the other horseshoe to drop when Discord performed his sudden but inevitable betrayal.
I chugged for about three minutes on Rainbow’s emotions, and she crouched down on the ground, shivering with what had to be effort to keep on her proverbial feet. When it was over, I offered a hoof to steady her, and waited for the pegasus to recover from the draining.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it that long,” I told her, actually being honest. “Um…if I feed to quickly…well…it’s like you having a bit too much cider, the hard cider I mean.”
Rainbow chuckled as she stood back up to her full height. “You drunk? That might be fun to see,” she said with a smile. “Now um…look…I uh…should probably go check on Fluttershy and see what she’s up to. Knowing her, she probably got distracted by a baby bird or something. Uh…keep…practicing till lunch.”
Before Rainbow could dash off, I snagged her tail in my TK, and she frowned at the sudden tug that happened right before takeoff and kept her from jumping into the air. “Oh uh Dash, I kind of um…have this thing at my place tonight. I’m getting Pinkie to cater and stuff so…”
“You’re having a party?” she asked. “What for?”
“Human holiday,” I quickly said, already gotten that much of the lie down pat. “It’s um…traditional…or something.”
Not being a complete idiot, Rainbow gave me a measuring look. “What holiday is that?”
And it kind of caught me flat footed. “Um…” Thanksgiving? I asked myself before the picture of a turkey appeared in my mind and I X’d it out. I had already gone over the whole Yule/Christmas thing with Twilight now that she and I were walking about human stuff. They already had cider season to double for Saint Patrick’s Day as well as Hearts and Hooves Day so… “Labor Day!”
Rainbow’s frown took on a bit of confusion. “Uh…what?”
“It’s a day that um…humans celebrate by getting together at the end of the day and eating burgers and…stuff,” I finished rather lamely before the pegasus shrugged.
“Eh okay,” Rainbow replied. “I’ve heard of weirder reasons for a party. Everypony else coming too, right?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Uh, what non-foal birthday party doesn’t include the six of you around here?”
“…good point.”
Once Dash left, I kind of hightailed it out of my practice session one hour and fifty minutes earlier than she told me to. Hell, I still had a ton of things to do other than just invite the girls over. I needed to have lunch with Twilight, have sex with Twilight, cuddle with Twilight until she woke up again, and hold court in Ponyville to settle the local disputes that had kind of been backing up since I took my vacation.
Sure the old court system was basically just show up, wait in line, and yak about some problem, but Twilight had me revise the system a week into the whole thing. Since I was just her regent, I kind of had to play by her rules. Instead of a long que of petitions that showed up and waited around for whenever I decided to come around, they sighed up on a schedule sheet outside town hall sometimes as much as three days in advance and turned in a written grievance that I could go over beforehand and take some time to think on the proposals.
However, some proposals required little to no thought at all…
“This is the third time you’ve shown up trying to get me to sign off on your stupid plan this month,” I said while sitting on my less-than-imposing overlord throne that had either been a piece of patio furniture, or a cheap director’s chair before I commandeered it for my personal use. I looked across the room at my petitioner that was surrounded by a pair of changelings that appeared to be twin blank-flank black pegasi.
Filthy Rich cleared his throat and held his head a little higher. “Princess, I’m asking you to be reasonable,” the stallion replied. “Despite it’s status as a country town, Ponyville has shown next to no economic or population growth in over fifty years because we do not tap into the natural resources of the region! If you would simply look at the plans for-”
I put a sound dampening dome around myself and reduced the inane droll that the rich earth pony was going on about for the third time to a barely audible buzz with the fair play side of my conscience told me that if this had been any other small town that wasn’t inhabited by about twelve talking ponies I absolutely adored and would do anything for, I would have been signing off on his plans to make use of the regions hidden resources. After all, the guy did have a pretty good point when it came to the uselessness of Ponyville.
As a town, Ponyville was…kind of a failure. The whole reason that small towns existed in Equestria was for young adult ponies to meet up, and then move to the bigger cities as they sought their fortunes. While several ponies also liked to raise their children in the countryside, the whole purpose for quaint little towns like Ponyville to exist was for them to help a somewhat gender slanted population hookup while they were still young and idealistic.
However, thanks to the Everfree Forest, Ponyville wasn’t considered much of a hook-up or breeding town as say…Dodge City, Hollow Shades, the village in Gelding Grotto (yeah Ponyville had less same-sex hookups than a town with gelding in its name) or New Horseleans. Even though the woods danger rating were going down and I had made it easier for new businesses to move in as well as the whole princess thing, Ponyville hadn’t gotten anything more than a flood of tourists in the recent months to see where the new princess lived. Then the ponies got really disappointed upon being directed to Twilight’s library.
But considering the weirdness that Ponyville underwent weekly, and sometimes daily, the fact that it had technically been destroyed in a parasprite attack, a Spike rampage, been the landing point for two separate invasions of monsters, a changeling infiltration, and was in constant danger of timber wolves, ursa, manticore and all sorts of other Everfree junk…no one in their right mind really wanted to move to Ponyville.
Of course it did have one good thing going for it. Ponyville was extremely rich in mineral resources. I still wasn’t quite sure how gem development worked in Equestria, but I knew they weren’t just a bunch of shiny baubles ponies didn’t care anything about. While not up to the millions and millions of dollars that humans would price them as, they were still pretty valuable.
And yeah, Rarity was actually...kind of rich.
So what did Filthy want to do?
Use some new and ‘special’ mining techniques to make sure we get all the gems with no risk to the miners whatsoever!
“I know what strip mining is you idiot, I know what it does,” I cut him off. “Of course ponies don’t want to move here, its on the edge of the Everfree, which nearly invaded a few months ago! We’ve got monsters and mad warlock attacks, and I think we’re actually overdue for an alien invasion. No pony in their right mind would want to settle in here. But the ones that actually have survived all that and are still around, they like it here! They don’t want it to change. They don’t want oversized mega malls, mage towers, and some snooty university ponies that only put half their plots into their work coming into our town and messing it up. So I’m denying your request for building, removing, or doing anything to this town. Next!”
Thankfully, several other petitioners weren’t as annoying. Toe-Tapper needed the right to use town property for a public concert involving some Pony Tones group, there was a slight disagreement over who got how much space in the ponyville market for stand advertising, Pinkie actually came in with a request for me to invent a new holiday that I took under advisement before informing her of a need for a low level dinner party for tonight for me and the girls with special guest, Cheerilee actually came by towards the end with a request for a changeling to use in an upcoming lesson, and then there was the donkey…
“So we discovered that you had created these wonderful toys and were wondering if my company might be able to purchase the rights to mass produce the Princess Twilight Sparkle action/collectable/doll figure,” a mule in the business suit said before pointing to his nearby graph that showed his squiggly little line giving a drastic incline. “As you can see, we projecr-”
I held up a hoof. “Excuse me, but what company did you say you were from again?”
The donkey blinked. “Um, it’s a small one in Manehattan. The Hasburrow-”
“BEGON DEMON!”
Beelze-a-burrow sputtered. “W-What?”
“Guards! Remove him at once!” I commanded the disguised changelings. “And seize the collectable vinyl figurine!” How the pony version of Evil Inc. had gotten their claws on one of the precious purple pony princess likenesses that I had created with dark magic the day before, I didn’t know, but I’d be damned if I let them keep it for their satanic rituals of knockoffing.
After that, I got about three more requests done before a pair of royal guards arrived and cut to the front of the line. They were Tia’s usual perfectly white pegasi with the hot, boy toy physiques that she liked to surround herself with and had me wondering if the whole Molestia thing wasn’t all that far from some hidden kinky side she had stashed away somewhere.
As soon as I finished listening to Rose’s complaints that the weather team always packed too much water in the clouds above her house and promised to take it up with Changeling Dash, I got around to addressing them.
“Gentlecolts...please tell me Princess Celestia has finally decided to end my mad reign of terror and return Twilight Sparkle to her rightful place on the throne of this town,” I asked evenly, which got a pair of confused looks from the guards.
Honestly, those guys had no sense of humor.
And if you want me to be one-hundred percent honest, I was kind of hoping that’s what they really were here for. Sure, Twilight had bitched to me a day or so after I got back from Tambelon that she had actually been feeling a tiny bit of unfulfillment, what with being a princess and not ruling anything, but a few days of running Equestria had cured her of that. Which meant my insanely boring and inane job as her regent had quite of bit of security.
Oh how I hated her...in a loving way.
“Princess Celestia has summoned you to Canterlot,” the pegasus on the left said before the other one picked it up.
“You are to come with us at once.”
For a moment I just stared at the two pegasi, then looked back to the line of ponies waiting on the answer to their written requests. And...okay, the job sucked and was as boring as hell ninety-nine percent of the time, but I was kinda still their um...princess...replacement. Just ditching them even though court had been running for a few hours was really kind of a douche move.
Which meant…
“Sorry every pony,” I apologized. “Princess Celestia needs me for something very important in Canterlot. So...I’ll be...holding court for one hour longer tomorrow to help make up for lost time. And if you have a business proposal that requires some sort of permit, give whatever information you have to my attendants so I can look over it later. Don’t hold up the line.”
As I heard a few disappointed groans, grumbles, and other sounds that said ponies were sad (or mad) to see me go, I turned to the guards. “So we grabbing the girls and,” I paused for a moment, and remembered that the Elements were stuck in a tree, “um, we grabbing the girls or-”
“Just you.”
I blinked. “Oh...okay,” I mumbled a little...thankful actually. Without the Elements to throw around anymore, there was no way in hell the girls would ever be put in danger if I had anything to say about it, thank you. “So just why is she summoning me then?”
I found myself kind of put off by the scene in front of me as I stood in the princesses private chambers while she looked at a full princess-body length rectangular mirror. The thing was obviously enchanted, but not in the cool kind of way that let you see into the depths of Hell. Which...okay, after that whole goat thing, I kind of glad for.
“What do you think of this one?”
No, the mirror Tia was using allowed to try on dresses without actually trying them on. That was the enchantment, some kind of weird...dress mirror.
Yeah. A summons by the god-princess of pony-kind. A forty minute flight and ten minute walk through Canterlot Castle. All to look at her try on dresses for a casual dinner party.
When did this become my life? I asked myself while she turned around and shook her ass in front of the mirror.
I cleared my throat. “Um...Princess?”
“Tia.”
The giant pony’s words made me blink. “Huh?”
She looked back over to me with an almost-blank-but-slightly confused stare. “Call me Tia.”
“I thought you hated that nickname.”
A shrug of her shoulders came before she spoke again. “It’s grown on me,” Celestia said before she looked back at the mirror. “Now what do you think of this one? Too blue? To be honest, it’s hard to find a color to go with my mane.”
It was at that point my confusion over the whole situation just gave under the weight of everything, and I moaned. “Wait a second. You’re telling me you called me all the way from Ponyville when I was in the middle of court, to...help you pick out a dress for the party?”
“Yes.”
“Um...why?” I managed to ask. Well, I could think of several reasons, but they all kind of fell under that umbrella term called trolling. Except the few that were more along the lines of pranks, and then there were all the gag, joke, and good-natured ribbing that it could be.
Then all of those ideas cleared when Tia gave me this serious, but sad look. “Do you not remember what I said to you the other night when we slept together?” she asked with those special words that kind of made me want to groan, if not for the sheer weight of her words. “You are the only pony I know that will give me his honest opinion.”
For a moment I got a look at the ‘other’ Celestia. And…
Okay look, there’s kind of two Celestia’s walking around...or three if I count the one in dreamland. There’s ‘Can Do No Wrong’ Celestia, the pony everybody sees, and the pony she is for most of the time. She’s the perfect sun goddess that rarely raises her voice, always has the answer to everything, and possesses this unwearing resolve in the face of unimaginable adversity. It’s not a public face or a mask, it’s just...the pony she is when everything’s going the way it’s supposed to be. You know, its how people are when everythings going great, or they can at least ignore the stuff that’s gone wrong.
Then there’s...Tia. Tia is the pony that looks around every now and then to see all the ponies that have long since turned to dust beneath her hooves, the fact that no one wants to acknowledge her faults, wants to know her on a personal level, or cares to spend time with her as a real friend. After century upon millennia of ruling Equestria, Tia kind of got locked away when everyone started using Celestia’s name as a curse, and thinking of her as the be all and end all of everything. She wasn’t the super sad, woe is me immortal that cried herself to sleep every night, but...she was the pony who was starting to realize that getting happiness vicariously through her subjects wasn’t going to cut it.
Oh, and then there was Molestia, the woman of my dreams that sat around naked and had me put my hands all over her body in all the wrong places. But, who cares about her?
“You want my honest opinion?” I asked.
Celestia nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay…”I began before taking in a breath.
As usual when I was in my palace of a home and wasn’t about to go down on Twilight, as the ancient structure really wasn’t meant to repel invaders and thus couldn’t be classified as a castle, I had returned to my bugish form and was getting everything ready to receive guests.
The dining table was your basic circular one, with enough space for twelve ponies on it if we bunched things up. There weren’t any insignias or marked pillow chairs like with the briefing room that had been made for the girls to meet during a time of crises. Hell, there was even a large double door leading out to a balcony large enough to park a chariot on. It was just a place to eat with a nice view.
Perfect for an informal get together.
Applejack was the first one to arrive, a little ahead of schedule. “Howdy partner.”
“Heya Applejack! Ready for a limited amount of moving around fun, followed by some super yummy food and after dinner games, dancing, and tone deaf singing called Care-E-Okie?”
Well, except for Pinkie, she actually had to set up the party. It didn’t take that long with the changelings helping out though. Quick funny story, after I kind of told everyone I was a changeling, I had this idea to help Pinkie with the whole party pony thing by using changelings disguised as Pinkies for free of course. Took everyone a few hours to find out that the Pink Herd wasn’t a bunch of mirror clones. Took even longer to get them out of their houses. Even then, idea kind of turned up as a bust.
I looked over to party pony and smirked as she moved around the table with a tray of drinks. “Hey Pinkie, you don’t have to be setting out the food, I’ve got changelings for that.”
“Awww but it’s fun to set up parties,” she whined, kind of killing my attempt to make things easier for her. So I just let her do her thing.
She set out the orderves as kind of buffet table as we waited for everyone to turn up. I asked the usual questions when it came to AJ, how her family was doing, if she’d been having trouble with the farm, needed any help, that sort of thing. We may not of been all that close, working relationship friends is what I’d have to call us, but it was cordial enough.
“Granny’s doing well, Ah suppose. Although with the rainy season starting up in a few months, she’ll be fussin ‘bout her joints soon enough. Applebloom’s been wonderin’ when you can come ‘round and look after her again though.”
I raised an eyebrow at the farm pony. “You do remember the last time I sat, she was abducted by an interdimensional monster intent on...um...eating her, I think.”
Applejack laughed a little, but it was one of those forced things. “Yeah, and she got out of it just fine cause of you. Considerin’ how much trouble them girls usually get into...it’s nice to have somepony else around Ah can trust to handle their level of...catastrophe.”
I sighed and hung my head in defeat. “Just tell me when and we’ll work something out.”
Then came Fluttershy. She flew in from the balcony along with Rainbow. They took a look around, said their greetings and then went to check out the food.
“Hello everypony.”
“Sup guys.”
Twilight and Sunset popped in a few seconds later. Literally. I mean they just appeared in the middle of the room, right next to the dining table. Twilight had her saddlebags on from a full day of work going over the information Tia wanted her to check, and Sunset...clutched her stomach and had to lean against the wall.
“Ugh, didn’t you ever learn to carry passengers when you teleported?” she moaned.
Twilight winced. “Sorry,” she apologized with a flinch. “But...I warned you my long-range teleportation magic is a rough ride.”
I chuckled and walked over to the girls. “Never mind her Twilight, humans just have weak stomachs,” I told her with a wave of my holey hoof. “They can’t even handle grass.”
“Ugh! Fairy please. Don’t...grass...ick!” Twilight told me. “Teleporting long-range teleporting isn’t that easy on my stomach either you know. No bad food jokes.”
That of course made me look up to Sunset with a frown. “Okay seriously, what is it with the no grass thing? They’re equines, right? I know it has to be edible to them.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Humans,” she mumbled before looking down at me. “So uh, what’s what the...bug you? I hardly ever see you looking like that.”
“Yeah,” Twilight added.
I mained at the question. “Oh come on! I’m in my kind of borrowed house,” I replied. “Can’t I at least look like myself?”
“Says the creature that used to be a male human, that got turned into an asexual insect, who prances around most of the time as a pretty pony princess,” Sunset countered in a dry tone. Then a smirk appeared on her face. “I’m surprised you haven’t had an identity crises.”
Twilight nodded in agreement. “No kidding. That I would have at least understood. But what do I have to deal with? Guy who thinks he got put into a cartoon. Seriously, do I look like a cartoon character to you?” the incredibly bright and colorful equine asked with as her magical wings spread out to make herself look bigger.
I just looked back and forth between the two girls, and got a very horrible feeling in the pit of the organ that passed for my stomach. Honestly, I think I like the two of them better when Twilight kind of secretly jealous of Sunset and guilt tripping herself. “So um...I see you two are getting along better.”
“Are you kidding?” Twilight asked with a smile. “I finally have someone I can talk magical theorems with! A real study buddy! I just...um…”
Sunset let out a tiny breath, and reached down to touch Twilight’s mane. “It’s okay Twilight. Soon as we get this...whatever Celestia wants out of the way, we can start working on your boyfriend’s problem, and help him with mine.”
A second later, Twilight leaned over and put her head up against Sunset’s thigh. “Thank you again...for forgiving me,” she softly said.
“For the seventeenth time, there’s nothing to forgive,” Sunset told her. “Circumstances and lack of information, plus everything I did is why I’m like this. Not you.”
Before Twilight could start a counter argument, which I’m pretty sure those helped add to those seventeen times, I cleared my throat to get some attention and masterfully moved the conversation to a less important topic that no one in their right mind would probably care about. “So...where’s Spike?”
The pretty purple pony princess looked over to me and rolled her eyes. “He’s helping Rarity look after the girls while she finishes a last minute rush order,” Twilight explained. “So, neither of them can make it.”
I winced, not because of the absence of Rarity, but because Spike was being taken out of his working non-disaster zone. I hadn’t actually seen him be the terror he had been on Applejack’s farm...mostly because she had banned him from ever helping her again, but the guy got a little accident prone when he didn’t do the things he usually took care of around the library.
The sun started setting, and we were greeted by night time about three seconds later. I repressed a shudder at the giant ‘fuck you’ to all known laws of celestial mechanics...that I knew anyway, and looked around the room. “so Rarity and Spike aren't coming, that just leaves-”
Equestrian timing kicked in, and was a bright golden flash of magic before the number of alicorns in the room increased. “-Tia.”
All the ponies in the room froze at the appearance of the goddess, or rather...her appearance. She didn’t have on her crown, the overly large golden necklace thing she called a torc, or her royal horseshoes that she had to have remade after giving them to the Earthquestria girls. In fact, she didn’t have anything on.
“Princess Celestia?” Twilight cried out in shock.
Probably because...
“What happened? You’re-” Fluttershy managed before Rainbow flew in front of her.
...well...
“Somepony’s flank we gotta kick?”
...it wouldn’t have fit.
Sunset walked over and looked down at her adopted mother, that was currently four feet tall, and looked a lot like a normal pony, if a normal pony had wings and a horn I mean. I had tried to talk her into getting rid of the ethereal mane too but, that was apparently not an option. “So...you lost weight,” she said with her arms crossed before her face became serious. “Metamorphic reconstitution?”
Celestia chuckled. “For tonight anyway.”
The mare standing in the center of the room had the same celestial mane and longer than average horn, but she could have looked Twilight and the others in the eyes easily. Mostly because she was on eye level with all of them.
“But-what the? Why Princess?” Twilight asked.
The also little pony princess gave her former student a look with a pair of eyes that just screamed semi-sad. “Twilight, why are you still calling me that?”
Twilight winced. “Sorry.”
“And for that matter, why aren’t your friends calling you Princess?” she went on.
The purple alicorn looked away. “It just feels...uncomfortable. They’re my friends, not my...subjects,” she said before looking back to the goddess. “Well, I mean, they’re technically my subjects, but...I don’t...think of them that way. I wouldn’t be where I am without them. And I...well...I don’t want to put myself above my friends.”
After a moment of thought, Celestia nodded. “Then tell me, is it so wrong for me to want the same thing?”
Every pony in the room, and one human, cocked their head at the goddess. But Twilight was still the only one who spoke. “W-What?” If barely.
“Twilight, I’m old, not dead,” Celestia went on before she moved around the room and stole a glance at me, and then Sunset before turning her attention to all the girls. “I spent a thousand years without my sister, getting used to...being alone. I’ve tried to show ponies that I’m not impossible to approach, but when they see this six foot giant that I am in comparison, a pony that commands the sun and has been around longer than the grass, the trees, and monuments of Equestria, how can they not shy away from her?
“But now that Luna has been returned to me by all of you, I find myself wanting more than what she brings. And if anypony in Equestria can overcome the...difference between me and what they are, it would be all of you. Those who saved my sister and embody friendship. The six of you are-wait a second…” she paused before looking around a moment. “Um...where’s Rarity?”
I cleared my throat. “She had a um...emergency dress order and had to cancel. She’s probably back at her shop working on it.”
Celestia let out a sigh. “The best laid plan of ponies and parasprites,” she mumbled before looking over to Pinkie. “Pinkie Pie dear, could you collect the food?”
“Um sure but...what for?”
The goddess took a look around the room. “Well if she’s in need of help with a dress order, what do you all say to go and helping her? And I think she’s appreciate a good dinner instead of whatever she manages to whip up while working.”
Fluttershy spoke up. “Well um, I do know how to sew.”
“Cutting out patterns in cloth with telekinesis isn’t that hard,” I added with a shrug. A second later everyone looked at me and I frowned. “Yes I helped make dresses when I worked with Rarity, so sue me.”
“Ah suppose Spike could use a hoof or two lookin’ after the foals,” Applejack added. I just thanked God she wasn’t going to try and make anything like a burlap dress again.
Twilight looked around the room and chuckled. “Okay, okay everypony. Let’s get going. Um, do you want to do the honors….Celestia?”
The princess nodded once. “Gather around everypony.”
“So uh...P-Celestia,” Rainbow Dash spoke up. “What’s with the shorter look anyway?”
Tia looked back at the pegasus, then down at herself while the others walked towards her. “Oh this? Well, my height tends to intimidate other ponies, so I thought to...tone it down for tonight. And...I was hoping...maybe about, once a week?” she asked while looking around at the girls before a bit of uneasiness came into her voice. “Um...Luna has expressed an interest in coming as well. If you all...want to have us, that is.”
I didn’t need to turn on my emotional senses to smell everyone’s surprise, it was written on their faces. Couldn’t blame them either, I mean...I at least had the whole empathy thing to kind of prepare me for the tiny glimpses of emotional Tia. They got hit with the usually invincible goddesses vulnerability full on with that little question.
Fluttershy actually managed to speak first. “Oh, I think that would be lovely.”
And that opened the floodgates.
“Well shoot Prin-Celestia. If’n that’s all ya wanted, why didn’t ya say so earlier? Yer sister done the same last Nightmare Night, don’t see why we can’t all be doing the same.”
More agreements quickly followed Applejack’s words, before Twilight finally stepped forward. “Princess,” she said, drawing a frown from every single pegasi, earth pony, human, and changeling in the room. “I mean, um...Celestia. If you wanted to be friends, all you had to do was-”
“Remember the tea party Twilight?” the equally tall alicorn asked with a raised eyebrow. “Or the other times I had you all at Canterlot, or the days before the wedding? I will admit that I needed to keep a certain distance, being your teacher, but...do you really think such a thing would have been possible beforehand?”
Twilight sighed. “Okay...point taken.”
A laugh escaped from Tia lips and she gestured with her head. “Okay my little-um...everypony,” she managed before learning her throat. “Gather around. It’s easier to do this the closer you are.”
After we did as instructed, there was a flash, followed slight sensation of vertigo, and when everything cleared, we were standing outside Rarity’s boutique. Twilight took the food in her magical grasp while Celestia approached the door.
Either Rarity had left the door unlocked or Tia knew a spell to circumvent house security, because she opened the door, and Rainbow rushed in a second later, in mid-step for Celestia. Apparently, the goddess had already reached that level of casualness with the pegasus that let her just throw away her manners.
“Hey Rarity take a break for a second, we got something you need to see.”
I heard the unicorn groan from inside her shop. “Rainbow please, I-” was all I paid attention to before Tia leaned over to whisper instructions in my ear. They were corny as hell but...I went along with it anyway.
“Rarity, this is an emergency, something’s happened to the princess,” I said running in after the pegasus.
As usual, the unicorn’s shop was a complete mess, as it always was when working on a huge project. Rarity had ‘tornado’ organization skills that allowed her to just put anything everywhere and know where it was...until the next morning when it came time to find the one thing she forgot to clean up and could no longer locate it anyway.
Twelve things fell from her magical grasp, and she looked at me in shock. “The Princess? What happened? Is she alright?”she asked before her shock became a quizzical eyebrow raise. “Wait, which princess?”
Then little Celestia came in behind me and ran up to Rarity. “Ms Rarity you must help me! My new diet worked far too well and now I need all my dresses resized to fit before the next diplomatic summit with the Griffon Empire for tomorrow, or Equestria is doomed!”
“You know, in Rarity’s defense, I think it was your height, not your request that made her go all gaaaaaaah, and faint,” I told the humanoid goddess as she sat upright on the couch next to me for once in our little dream house.
Celestia let out a tiny chuckle. “Well let’s see you come up with a gag in ten seconds flat,” she told me before one of her arms laid across my back and she she let out a content sigh. “But the rest of the night was lovely, and I think the transformation worked well enough. They were certainly seemed more at ease around me than usual. I think I’ll keep trying it.”
Then came the awkward silence as I sat in an an empty house, next to a naked sun goddess that could double as the ultimate sex symbol. “So um…” I tried. “You know how to sew huh?”
“Excuse me for picking up a few interests in my centuries of life,” Tia told me with a smirk.
I nodded. It made sense I guess, someone as old as her would have picked up plenty of talents as time went on. “So um...how’s your talk with Sunset go? I saw you two talking after Rarity’s order got finished, and um...”
The question got a nervous sigh from the sexy woman. “It went...good.”
“But?” I prompted.
Celestia sighed. “It’s...going to take time,” she told me. “I can say there’s no need for forgiveness, and put in as much I love yous as I want, but...I can’t just go out and say, Sunset, you are my daughter. At least not without making things too uncomfortable for her...more than they are anyway. The last thing I want to do is make things worse.”
Then came another awkward pause, and I found myself wracking my brain to think on how to put an end to it. Tia did it first when she yanked me next to her, and I found my head resting on her shoulder joint. “Thank you for talking me into it.”
And with the destruction of my personal space, I blushed. But...with Celestia being in the mood she was in...yeah, couldn’t really get all indignant about it. “N-No problem Tia.”
If anything, her grip became tighter after that, and I knew I wasn’t going anywhere.
I cleared my throat. “So um...movie?”
“I thought we were watching that...Annie May, was it?”
“Oh, you liked that?”
She giggled. “It was...interesting. Certainly better than stories about wars being fought over a woman, or an empire built on the backs of slaves that forced them to fight to the death for sport. And your world was really like that once upon a time.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her is still was in several areas. “Yes. Now um...here’s the second episode.” Then I turned on the television.
“This is the story of a man, who has yet to realize his destiny…”