“Listen, Scoots, I’m in the same boat as you here. They pick on me just as much as you. We’re in this together, right?” Apple Bloom cast Scootaloo an inquisitive look from over the table, one eyebrow raised so high it almost vanished into her mane.
“It just feels like they pick on me more. I mean, look at you, you’re perhaps the nicest filly at our school! Everypony likes you, everypony except those two. Me though? Nah, ponies don’t like a tomboy.”
“That ain’t true and you know it. Plenty of ponies like you! Why, I would even go so far as to say that the only reason they don’t hang around with you so much is because they’re scared of being picked on themselves. You’re a perfectly nice filly, Scoots. I know it’s hard but we’re all in this as one. The Cutie Mark Crusaders need to stick together.”
Apple Bloom just had to keep telling her that. She had to come round at some point, surely? Scootaloo has been sulking for a very long time now, probably approaching a year, and she’d tried and failed numerous times to drag her back onto her hooves, dust her down, pat her on the back and give her a crutch to stand on, but she had been adamantly refusing to listen to her. It was as if she enjoyed being miserable. Apple Bloom had even tried to seek professional help, but that was expensive so she was forced to resort to home tactics. However, a quick visit to the doctor’s (that she’d had to literally drag Scootaloo to as she folded her legs and refused to walk) revealed worrying news. According to the doctor, who in all fairness wasn’t a psychiatrist and was only giving a layman’s opinion, Scootaloo was slipping into depression. Apple Bloom picked up several leaflets and guides like, ‘You’re getting depressed, what can you do about it?’ which she didn’t think was a very good title. The content in it wasn’t exactly useful either.
Somepony on the table next to them coughed loudly as he choked on his drink. Scootaloo sighed. She’d decided to get together with Apple Bloom and take a trip to Sugar Cube Corner, seeing as it was a Sunday, and she hated Sundays. The only thing worse than it being Sunday was spending it alone. She’d originally planned for Sweetie Belle to come too, but she already had plans with Rarity, so it was just Scoots and Apple Bloom. It was a nice day. Warm, with a pleasant breeze and a relatively relaxed attitude. But Scootaloo felt that there was going to be a storm later after she overheard something about ‘lightning clouds’ from one of the weather ponies.
“Scootaloo?”
“What? Oh, sorry Apple Bloom. I zoned out. What did you say?” Scootaloo shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.
“I was just saying that you should not pay these bullies any heed. They just want to get a reaction out of you.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re pretty calm and self-controlled most of the time. So is Sweetie. You know me though, anger issues. I lose my temper a lot and jump to conclusions way too fast. It’s easy for them to burn me up, that’s why they’re always going at me. Plus, you guys have older sisters to defend you.”
“You’ve got Dash, dontcha?”
“Yea but I don’t get to go home every day and talk to her about my problems. She lives on a cloud and I don’t know if you noticed but,” she flapped her smaller than average wings a few times for effect. “Can’t fly! Just another thing to add to my list of problems.”
“I know that, but you can always come talk to us. We’re always here.”
“What good would that be? I would just being telling you things you already know.”
Apple Bloom sighed and played awkwardly with her bow. Scootaloo bowed her head, staring down at the table and admiring the… metalness of it. Apple Bloom tapped her hoof on the table, thinking.
“Okay, then go tell Miss Cheerilee. She’ll help. She’s always saying how she’s always there if we want to talk to her.”
“I don’t wanna talk to Miss Cheerilee. I don’t want to be called a snitch, amongst other things.”
“That’s fine, I’ll just tell her.”
“Oh no you won’t! They’ll know I set you up to it!”
“Now you’re being paranoid. They don’t have a vendetta against you! They just wanna boil you up, make you mad. They think it’s funny. Come on, Scoots, you used to be really thick skinned. What changed?”
“My parents died. That’s what changed.”
A gust of wind ruffled Scootaloo’s mane. The wind was definitely picking up. She scanned the skyline. No sign of clouds yet. Wouldn’t that just be the irony of it? The weather perfectly reflecting her mood. Apple Bloom had fallen silent. She played with the straw of her milkshake, not actually drinking any of it, just twirling it around with her hoof as she chewed her tongue in thought. Eventually she spoke up again, “You know this can’t last forever. Someday they’ll get bored or they’ll grow up and realise that what they’re doing is hurting ponies. Then they’ll be all apologetic and desperate to make amends. Just wait, Scoots. Someday it’ll happen.”
“And that day can’t come fast enough! Any more and I’m gonna have a break down, I swear.”
“Stay strong, Scoots! You gotta stay strong.”
Scootaloo didn’t feel very strong. Apple Bloom was right; she used to be the tougher member of the group. Nothing could get her down, and she was always ready to face the onslaught of abuse head on, ready to put herself in harm’s way to protect her friends. But she’d been changed. The death of her mother had been a real shock to the system. She had taken several days off school whilst she recovered, but was glad to be back at school and amongst her friends again. But her confidence had been shot. She was more timid, less aggressive. Ponies were curious as to why she’d been off school, even Diamond and her entourage had a few questions (but they placed them in a less cautious manner).
Scootaloo was sure that if nothing else, her late mother would be enough to put of her attackers. To at least ward them off for a while or better yet snap them out of their constant railway line of insults. Oh how wrong she’d been, and how much of a surprise it was when she realised indeed how wrong she’d been. She was initially met with incredulity. They didn’t believe her. They thought she was bluffing, making up a sob story to get them to stop messing with her. It took a while for them to realise that Scootaloo was serious. It took a few days of them constantly making snide remarks about the tragedy that they’d convinced themselves was a lie before they finally tuned into the fact that it wasn’t a joke and that it was really real.
Most of her classmates were sympathetic. They all offered their condolences and Miss Cheerilee was ready in the wings to make sure she was okay. Some of the ponies in her class who’d lost parents or siblings of their own empathised with her. But to her horror Diamond was completely un-phased by the situation. She kept up her assault, this time directing her attention more on the weakened Scootaloo.
One morning, when Scootaloo was feeling particularly down in the dumps, Diamond approached her. She swapped a few stinging insults, and Scootaloo remained silent throughout. When she’d finished, Scootaloo had looked at her, fixed her with a cold stare, and simply said, “Why do you hate me?”
“I just do.”
“Yea, but why? What have I done to hurt you? Why do I deserve this?”
“You showed me up!”
“What, that one time? That’s what this whole thing is about? One time where I stood up to you in front of everypony? That’s why you have this… death wish on me?”
“You made me look like a loser on one of the most important days of my life in front of everypony! Do you know how hard that is to forgive? No. Of course you don’t, because you’ve never had that experience and you never will! I’m making sure that I get my just revenge. I’m biding my time before I can deal the final blow.” Scootaloo shrunk back as Diamond advanced. She looked ready to draw blood, but she shied away when she spotted Miss Cheerilee from across the playground. She was a coward in truth, but she was a very clever coward who was good at hiding it.
Scootaloo blinked as a spit of rain struck her face and dribbled into her left eye. She looked up. The sky had greyed over, and now the pleasant warmth was beginning to fade. The wind had died down a little and the air was moist and muggy. A long way off (it seemed), a low rumble announced the threat of incoming lightning. Apple Bloom held out a hoof, “Aww, shoot! Why would the pegasi want to ruin such a wonderful afternoon? Wanna go inside?”
“Yea. I suppose.”
“Cool.” Apple Bloom gulped down what was left of her milkshake and made her way to the door. She glanced back over her shoulder, “You coming Scoots?”
“Yea, yea. I’m coming.”
Sugar Cube Corner had very quickly emptied out once the rain had started. Ponies wanted to get home before it got too bad, and Scootaloo didn’t blame them. Pinkie Pie was there, clearing things away and wiping down the counter of loose crumbs and icing. Apple Bloom sat herself down by the window and Scootaloo joined her, once again sitting across from her and once again assuming her now usual stance of retreated silence. Apple Bloom whistled, “I’m glad we got inside. That looks like one heck of a storm a-brewing!”
“Yea.”
“Okay, Scoots, this is beginning to get annoying. I think you’ve played out the whole ‘I’m upset woe is me’ thing long enough now.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I do so! My parents are gone too Scoots, or did you forget about that?”
“Yea, but you don’t get made fun of for it.”
Apple Bloom threw her forelegs into the air in frustration. With an annoyed sigh she calmed herself down before continuing. She was treading on thin ice and she knew it, “Scoots, I’m trying to help you but you ain’t letting me. I don’t know what it is you want me to say or do, so how’s about you tell me?”
“I want you to say nothing and leave me alone.”
“Oh. Wow, Scoots, that’s deep. You know that I ain’t giving up on you that easy, right?”
“Seriously, Apple Bloom. I appreciate the help, but you’re wasting your energy. I’m not saying I don’t value our friendship, because I do.”
“I’m beginning to have doubts about that,” Apple Bloom leant back and folded her forelegs together, raising an eyebrow and quietly grinding her teeth. “I have been very, very patient with you Scoots. I’ve listened to all your stories and I’ve tried to help you as best I can, but I don’t think that you’re showing me the proper respect. If you don’t want me to hang out with you, just say.”
“That’s not what I mean Apple Bloom. It’s just… Awww, I don’t know anymore!” She buried her face in her hooves.
“Hey, Scoots? Don’t be like that.”
“What? Don’t be upset at my parent’s untimely demise? Don’t be bitter about the constant rampage of bullying? I don’t know what you think my life is like, but it is a damn sight far off what you’ve got.”
“Scoots, please, listen to me! You need to get over it! I understand that it’s hard, I understand that well enough, but this is destroying you. And it’s driving a pitch fork between our friendship! By being miserable you’re just making ponies around you miserable, so I honestly think you need to wake up and smell the apples! I have tried, Celestia knows I’ve tried, to help you get through this. Please, Scoots. I’m asking you as a friend, if not for yourself then for me and everypony who cares for you, please move on.” Scootaloo thumped the table aggressively, averting her gaze and crossing her forelegs in a huffy sort of pose. Scootaloo was adamant; Apple Bloom didn’t understand. She may pretend like she did, but Scootaloo knew she didn’t. She never would; she’d never understand her pain.
For a good long while they sat in silence. All that could be heard was the hard hammering of rain on the window and the occasional boom of far off thunder. Pinkie had vanished by this point, trying her best to stay out of the argument in case she made it worse. Scootaloo sat in complete and utter silence. In fact she could hear the thump and thud of her own heart if she listened closely enough. Apple Bloom shook her head gently, rubbing her hooves together as she awkwardly waited for Scootaloo to say something. A few minutes passed before Apple Bloom leant forward, and in the most kind, sensitive voice she could, asked, “Scootaloo?”
“You don’t understand.”
“For the love of Celestia and Luna in the great heavens above, Scootaloo! Please, just try and look at this from my view. Can’t you see? You’re hurting other ponies by putting yourself through this! I’ve had sleepless nights worrying about you. Apple Jack has warned me several times that ponies that do this sort of thing will only get me down. She’s looking out for me as I’m looking out for you. I swear, Scootaloo, I don’t know how much more of this I can take!”
Scootaloo bit her lip. She wasn’t hurting anypony, was she? She wasn’t even doing anything. If ponies like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would just leave her alone then maybe she wouldn’t be this way! It wasn’t her fault, surely. “I never asked you to help me.”
“I know you didn’t! It’s just what friends do. Friends help friends, but Scootaloo I’ve tried all that I know and nothing. You haven’t moved on at all despite my best efforts. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I don’t want you to try and help me. You can’t fix anything. You can’t bring my parents back and you can’t stop Diamond and Silver Spoon from bullying me! There are only a few ponies who can, and they’re in no state to even be considering it. Stop wasting your time trying to fix me. I’m broken.”
Apple Bloom laughed, “Right, you know what? Fine! I’ll just leave you alone to wallow in your own self-pity! I have tried to help you in every way I know how. It’s just too much for me. If you can’t appreciate what I’m trying to do for you, and you ain’t prepared to let me help you, then fine. I won’t help you nomore. I hope that whatever it is that can fix you comes along soon, because you’re destroying yourself, you’re destroying me and you’re destroying everypony around you. When you decide to finally buck up your ideas and see what you’re doing to me, you know where I live. Until then, I’m afraid this is goodbye.” And with that, she pushed herself away from the table and prepared to brave the storm outside.
Apple Bloom ran past the window next to Scootaloo, head bowed, charging through the rain. Scootaloo was all alone in Sugar Cube Corner. What had she done? She hadn’t done anything wrong. She was upset because she’d lost the two ponies closest to her and she was hurt by the constant abuse she received with every sunrise. What was wrong with being sad? Apple Bloom shouldn’t have tried to help her. She was so keen to drag her back up again that she hadn’t taken the time to realise that she wasn’t ready to be fixed yet. Why had Apple Bloom been so obsessed with trying to help her? Why couldn’t she have just let her recover on her own instead of abandoning her like this? Okay, so maybe Apple Bloom felt a little betrayed, but it was her own fault, wasn’t it? Or was it hers? Oh, bad things just wouldn’t stop happening to her!
She cried to herself. Teardrops mirrored raindrops in the glass. Booms of thunder her cries, and the lightning… the lightning was a mirror image of her troubled mind.
End.