Chapter 112
*Groan*
I rolled over and started to throw my foreleg over Twilight, but soon saw she wasn't in the bed anymore.
[Damn, last night... just damn!]
<I know!>
[I wanna do it again!]
I chuckled at the two and rolled over, if Twilight's not in bed, then I'm going back to sleep.
But, before I could even close my eyes, the door to the room burst open.
"Oh good you're awake!" Twilight said as I was levitated out of the bed and forced to stand on my hooves.
I groaned loudly and looked at her.... then raised an eyebrow.
Her mane and tail was slightly messed up, with a few strands of hair sticking out. Her eye was slightly twitching. Just like in the episode Lesson Zero.
"You alright there Twi?" I asked worriedly.
Her eye twitched again, "Oh yes, just fine. I'm just getting everything ready for when my parents get here."
I chuckled, "Alrighty then, what's for breakfast?"
She shook her head, "Oh no! Bath first!"
I pouted, "Bath? Why?!"
She sniffed me and backed, "Because, you smell like sex."
I couldn't help but laugh at this.
"BATH!" She yelled.
I jumped and ran past her, "ON IT!"
[Pussy whipped!]
{SHUT UP!}
I ran into the bathroom and closed the door. I then let out a sigh and walked over to the shower. I turned it on and twisted around to face the mirror.
I smirked and stood on my hind legs and flexed my muscles.... note to self, work out more.
I turned around and looked at my back side in the mirror.
Got to do this! I smacked my flank and smiled sexily at my reflection, "Oh you know you want this."
"LANCE! SHOWER! NOW!" Twilight yelled from outside the door.
I yelped in surprise and jumped into the shower, but, knowing my luck, I slipped and fell face first into the wall in the shower.
I rolled over and sighed, "Life, why do you hate me so?"
After a few seconds, I stood up and proceeded to wash my body with a rag.
I suddenly began to sing the only song I could think of to describe the way I was feeling, with the help of Break and Dawn, "Sometimes [Ohhhh]
Something beautiful happens in this world <Akon...>
You don’t know how to express yourself so.. <The Lonely Island..>
You just gotta sing..
<Akon>
I just had sex! And it felt so good! [felt it so good]
A woman let me put my penis inside her!
I just had sex, and i’ll never go back..<never go back>
to the not-havin’-sex ways of the past
<The Lonely Island>
Have you ever had sex? I have - it felt great!
It felt so good when i did it with my penis
A girl let me do it, it literally just happened..
Havin’ sex can make a nice man out the meanest!
Never guess where I just came from - I had sex!
If I had to describe the feeling: it was the best!
When I had the sex man my penis felt great!
And I called my parents right after I was done
Oh hey, didn’t see you there. Guess what I just did?
Had sex, undressed- saw her boobies and the rest
Was sure nice of her to let you do that thing
Nice of any girl ever- now sing!
I just had sex! And it felt so good! [felt so good]
A woman let me put my penis ins-"
"Lance! Please hurry up and finish your shower!" Twilight yelled, scaring the crap out of me.
[Damn it! We were on a roll there!]
I sighed and finished up the shower. I jumped out and grabbed a towel with my hooves. I did a quick rub down of my body and tossed it over my shoulders, "Done!"
I trotted over to the door and pulled it open, only to see Twilight.
She looked me over and leaned forward and sniffed me, "Did you use soap?"
I smiled sheepishly, "Uhh... I don't use soap. Water is all I need Twi."
She glared and lifted me up with her magic, "That's it! It's painfully clear you can't bath yourself, so I'll have to do it for you!"
My eyes widened and I grabbed the door frame, "NO! Oh God no Twi! Please no!"
She pulled hard and forced me off the door frame.
She held me in the air, restricting my movements.
She then turned the shower on and thrusted me into it.
"COLD!" I screamed out as the ice cold water hit my body.
"Oops." Is all she said as she adjusted the knobs.
The water began to warm... wait... "HOT! MY SKIN IS MELTING!"
"Damn it!" She yelled, actually cussing, it's going to take me a while to get use to that.
The water cooled off till it was lukewarm.
I looked at Twilight as she held me in place with her magic, "Really? Is this really necessary?"
She nodded, "Yes, yes it is." She levitated up a rag and bar of soap, "Now, where to start."
[I got to do this! Sorry Lance.]
My head nodded down to my member, "You can start down there."
She rolled eyes and began to scrub my face, "Shut up Break."
After a few minutes of painful scrubbing and washing, she finally allowed me to crawl out of the shower. I stood and picked up a towel and began to dry myself off.
Twilight trotted past me, "When you're dry, come to the bedroom."
Sex? But... I just had a bath... WHO CARES?! Woohoo!
[Get a move on Lance!]
I quickly dried myself off and ran out of the bathroom, down the hall, and into our room.
But, when I entered, I saw Twilight holding a comb and a very tight looking suit, "Alrighty Lance, let's get those on you and get your mane and tail straight."
My eyes widened.
[Run.]
I twisted around and ran down the hall.
"Lance!" Twilight yelled as she galloped after me.
I ran through the house, trying to find an exit. But she must have prepared and put a spell on all the locks, making them stay locked. Not good!
"Stop running and get over here!" Twilight yelled as I jumped over the couch and used my hind legs to kick it over as I passed over it.
"Neva!" I yelled as I slide under the coffee table.
"Stop or I will get aggressive!"
I laughed and jumped over the counter leading into the kitchen, "We pasted that place a long time ago honey."
She teleported in front of me, but causing me to come to a halt, "GOT YOU!"
I smirked and poked her on the noise with my hoof, "Boop." I then teleported behind her and ran down the hall.
"That's it!" She screamed as she charged after me.
[Lance, you just fucked up big time.]
I laughed and ran into the kids room... where are they anyway? No matter, must escape.
Twilight ran into the room and blocked my exit, "There's no where left to run Lance!"
I looked behind me and saw a window, "Oh yeah?" I smirked as I did a back flip and crashed through the window... or that was what was suppose to happen. Instead, I hit the window and rebounded off it. I then landed on the ground with a loud grunt.
[Epic fail!]
I slowly stood and sighed, "We replaced the kids window with plexiglass, didn't we?"
She nodded, "Mmhmm, safety first! Now, get over here!"
I pretended to be defeated and walked towards her, but before she could do anything, I suddenly jumped over her and into the hall.
"Lance! Stop acting like a foal!" She yelled as she twisted to face me.
When she turned, I planted a very unexpected kiss on her lips, "Love ya Twi, but gotta jet!"
I jumped back and ran down the hall and into the living room, Twilight hot on my heels.... hooves?
[Lance! Don't you make me hurt you! We've been over this so many fucking times!]
I shuddered and ran in circles, looking for an escape.
Twilight was still following me, not letting up.
Idea! I'm about to do the one thing I do best! Be a stupid moron!
I ran towards a window and yelled out, "For pony!" I then jumped and slammed into the wall next to the window.
[... FAIL!]
{Shut up! I missed the window! So what!}
<Quick! Do it Fluttershy style!>
I quickly jumped to my hooves and reared up, and prepared to slam my hooves through the window. But instead, I just leaned forward and pushed it open.
I heard Twilight close behind me, so I jumped through the window just as she tried to grab my tail.
I hit the ground and rolled to a stop. That was awesome!
[No it wasn't.]
Twilight jumped through the window and landed a few feet from me, "Lance Greenfield!"
I laughed, "You sound like my mom! HAHAHA!"
She stomped her hoof, "Get back in that house!"
I shook my head and crossed my forelegs and pouted like a little kid, "No!"
She scratched at the ground with her hoof and glared, "Do it!"
I looked at her, but something caught my attention. A puddle of mud!
Twilight looked at what I was looking at and narrowed her eyes, "Don't you even think about it."
I side stepped towards it.
"Lance." She said calmly.
I took another step towards it.
"LANCE!" She yelled, attracting the attention of a few ponies.
I smirked and took one last step towards it.
She stomped her hoof, "If you so much as touch that, I will.."
*Splat*
Mud went everywhere from the impact of my body against the large puddle. I laughed like a mad man and began to thrash around in it, slinging it everywhere.
Man, I've forgotten how much fun this was!
"You are so dead!" She said as she stomped towards me.
I stopped and leaned back and put my hooves behind my head, "You mad bro?"
"VERY!" She growled.
She began to near me, but before she did, a voice stopped her dead in her tracks.
"Twilight, darling! Over here!" Said a kind sounding female voice.
I turned to see two ponies stepping off a carriage. And thanks to the show, I instantly recognized them as Twilight's parents.
"Mom?! Dad?! You're early!" Twilight said in surprise and horror.
Her mom laughed, "Of course dear. We wanted to surprise you." She looked at me and smiled, "Oh, and is this little guy you're foal? Or a neighbor colt?"
[BWAHAHAHA! She thinks we're a kid!]
Twilight's face became very red and hot as she heard this.
Her dad chuckled, "Look at the little guy, playing in the mud. Now that's cute."
Oh man, this is going to be funny!
Twilight eeped and took a step back.
Her mom smiled, "What's your name little guy?"
I smirked and stood, "Hiya, I'm Lance, Lance Greenfield. I'm the one married to your daughter."
Both of their mouths hung open and their eyes widened in shock, surprise, and possible horror.
<[BWAHAHAHA!]>