Undisclosed Desire

by Dark Enigma


All Dreams Must End (Part 3 of 3: Alive Doesn't Mean Living)

Trixie screams, flailing about in an attempt to found solid ground. Instead she feels nothing but the empty touch of open sky and cool flow of wind and vapor as her stomach sinks in further than she thought possible. The wind roars in her ears, blurring out her own screams, but she knows she is pouring her lungs out; she can feel it. Though as something obscured by the dark clouds grabs her hind legs, she quiets down and tries to see what is attached to her but all in vain. The clouds are too thick; she can barely see the tip of her muzzle, and it's that obscurity that makes her free fall all the more terrifying. She doesn't know what lies behind the next cloud or the next. It could be more clouds or the side of a mountain; she just doesn't know.

It isn't until the clouds spit her out that she sees the emotionless face of Silverstreak slowing making his way up her body. Once he is face to face with Trixie, he forces her around so that she is diving head first into the graying earth a couple hundred feet below them and holds her close, his warmth a confusing juxtaposition to the cold emptiness around Trixie. "Aren't you going to save us?"

"What?!" Trixie replies, barely hearing him over the wind.

"Save us. I can't"

"WHAT?!" Trixie looks at the desolate land ready to shatter them and drink their blood. She frantically looks around trying to think of a way out of this, but her mind is racing so fast she can't think of a spell to do the trick. Each time she thinks she has the right incantation, another thought smashes into it, knocking it back into the raging storm of her mind for her to fish up again.

Out of nowhere, a voice--shrill and high-pitched--screams at her, "Cotton candy!" Trixie glances at Silver but he is unresponsive. If he heard the voice too, he isn't showing it.

Cotton candy? Trixie thinks to herself. It's the only idea that stuck, so she latches onto it, afraid to let it go. With a wave of her horn, cotton candy sprouts on the ground like a bush, coloring the dead land in a bright pink mush; and just in time, too. It catches them safely, and seeing that it did its job, the sugary fluff drains into the ground, leaving Trixie and Silver lying on the dirt in each other's embrace.

"You pushed me!" Trixie yells in Silver's ear as she magically shrugs his leg off of her and stands.

"So?" he replies, standing as well.

"Wha--... what do you mean, 'So?!'"

"Come on, let's look for the others." Silver says, ignoring her question. "We need them... unfortunately."

"What?! You think you can order the Great and Powerful Trixie around after all that?!"

"Yeah," he replies bluntly. "Now let's go." And with that, he leads the way.

Trixie isn't free anymore, and that's a hard fact to swallow every time she is reminded of her servitude. It completely shuts her up, drains her of retorts. What can she say when it doesn't mean anything? The only value she has is the value her master allows her to have, and her current master is a dick. And there is nothing she can do about it, except follow orders. So with her muzzle pointed to the ground, she... follows... Silverstreak into what may very well be the worst plan to take back Equestria ever concocted. And it started off so well, too.

With Silver leading, they head to a field of hills coated in a whitish-gray tint as if they are covered in ash though a bit more glassier seeing as they reflect what little light passes through the clouds from the cold sun. But there are a few spots where a cracked layer of rock is exposed like a rash, black and ugly. Trixie can't believe this is the Equestira she knew. It's a boring and drab atmosphere--an ambiance she feels is sucking the life out of her, making her sluggish and lazy. If Sliver feels the same, he certainly doesn't show it as he plods onward through the maze of infected hills, kicking up white dust with each step.

Up in the sky, the dark, velvety gloom conceal the city behind a shroud of toxicity. They may have felt like ordinary clouds when Trixie fell through them--cold and moist--but the malevolent shade suggests otherwise. But her fall is a fleeting thought as Trixie stares at where she knows the city is hiding, wondering how they will get back. Certainly, Silver can wish for them to be back in the city, but from what Trixie picked up from his intentions, he is saving his wishes for something only he cares about which is a complete mystery to her.

Speaking of wishes...

"Hey," Trixie calls out to Silver.

"What do you want?"

"You used a wish. Trixie saved you."

Silver sighs. "I never said, 'I wish for you to save me.' You could have easily let me hit the ground, but you didn't. It's not my fault you did it out of your own will and not because you had to."

He's right and Trixie knows he's right which irritates her more since she is stuck with him for a while longer. She grits her teeth, holding back her tongue. As she follows Silver up a steep slope, a seething hatred sprouts in her gut--feeling like boiling water--and takes hold of her thoughts. She hates her master; she hates Ure and her job. Her master is a condescending jerk, Ure an enigmatic prick, and her job took away her freedom.

Trixie is so caught up on her acidic thoughts that she doesn't notice Silver stop below the peak of a hill and presses her muzzle to the side of his flank, taking in a mouthful of his tail hair. Spitting it out in disgust, Trixie backs up and glares at Silver; her face scrunching up in anger as he glares back at her.

He shushes her and tilts his head in the peak's direction, motioning her to take a look. But despite his cautious behavior, she struts up the hill with no intention of keeping herself hidden. Before she reaches the top of the hill, Silver hooks his foreleg over her back and pulls her to the ground. Looking straight into her eyes, he whispers, "Before you get yourself killed, at least tell me I'll still have my wishes."

"Please--" Trixie stands and continues her walts "--the Great and Powerful Trixie is immortal!" Her voice echoes as she announces her entrance. Before her two creatures hover over the body of a pony. They look at her and she at them. The creatures are blue and red with the red one having a crystalline body with three skinny, jagged legs set like a tripod and one arm over a single eye placed in the middle of its wide barrel-like chest. It's translucent with orbs of yellow-red floating inside it. It's eye is pitch black with a pale yellow ring for an iris. The blue creature has a similar eye, but its body is gooey with lighter streaks of blue pulsating with an eerie glow. It has two arms and legs though they look like overstretched pieces of gum. It's entire body looks like it went through a taffy machine.

Gracefully as if they're preparing for an elaborate dance, the red crystal creature leaps into the air, pulls together its legs and stretches its body, becoming a sleek double-edge sword with its eye in the pommel, and lands in the grasp of the blue creature. Once together the blue gum creature warps and distorts, its body becoming twisted and wiry and much larger then it sprints towards the magician with its arms folded behind it, closing the gap between it and Trixie at an alarming rate. Before she gets a chance to blink, the monster kicks the hilltop with a flick of its scrawny leg and sprays the air with dirt and a single blue unicorn. The kick was so fast and strong it sounded like a whip screaming at its target.

Just below the hill's new crater, Silver watches Trixie in mundane anticipation as she soars off into the distance and lands with a slient puff of dust. With that same blank expression, he turns to the duo and leaps off the hill as the monster slashes downward, slicing the mound of dirt and rock in half where he stood. Skidding backwards, he looks for the monster's eyes in an attempt to trap it in his gaze, but the dust panicking in the air make it impossible to pinpoint its face. All he sees is a silhouette readying another slash as it rears its arm to go in with a horizontal swipe. Any other pony would be helpless in this situation--not many ponies specialize in venturing outside the city--but Silverstreak has dealt with monsters and demons before thus he stays relatively calm as he confronts his towering aggressor.

A few miles over, Trixie coughs away dust and phlegm sticking to the side of her throat while a waterfall crashes against her ears and flashing lights flare behind her eyelids; her mind is abuzz. A subtle pressure on her left foreleg breaks through her stupor. It's soft but annoying at first, but then a breeze rubs against it and the pressure becomes a fiery sting. She glances at her leg.

Trixie tries to scream but silence meets her lips. Halfway up her shin, spiky peaks of ebony erupt with molten red--just the pure essence of red--like a chain of angry volcanoes trying to create a new island. Her leg is bent at such an extreme angle, she can't process that that's her leg she is staring at. It's not possible.

Finally, a scream lets loose in her throat. Though she doesn't believe that it's her voice, her scream, blasting into her ears. It just can't be.

But I'm immortal. Trixie tells herself.

"Immortal does not mean invincible," the less-than-comforting voice of Ure replies. "You can get hurt; you just can't die from it."

Trixie tries to overcome her scream, tries to reply, but the attempt sends a shiver to run down her body, shaking her wound and setting off a fresh wave of pain, though this time it comes from everywhere AND her leg--the only visible wound. The agony pulls out tears and now she can't stop trembling. Trixie closes her overflowing eyes and bites down on her bottom lip. With a whimper, she stammers in her mind. Am-m I g-going t-to die?

Ure sighs."No, but you will suffer if you don't heal yourself. It's merely pain--only a reminder that you're still alive."

"I WANT TO DIE!" Trixie screams, overpowering the pain's influence. A silence sets in only broken by Trixie's sobbing.

"It's not your choice. Now heal yourself. If you don't you will feel this pain for a very long time."

"I hate you..." Trixie grinds out from her clenched teeth.

"I don't care," responds Ure. "You're alive, that should matter to you."

I'm not living the life I thought I would be. I'm not living at all.