//------------------------------// // Chapter 8 // Story: Wedding Bells Bug Hunt // by Trinary //------------------------------// With everything and everypony she knew acting completely crazy, Rainbow Dash looked for Pinkie Pie, trying to find comfort in a familiar sort of crazy.   It made sense at the time.    Rainbow trotted into the main hall where the reception was going to be held. Because of its expected size it would end up spilling out into the castle’s courtyard, but this was where the celebration was going to start. And if you were looking for Pinkie Pie, a celebration is the first place anypony would check first.   As soon as she opened the doors, balloons, confetti and streamers burst out like they were making a break for it. Rainbow didn’t see Pinkie through the thick of it all, but she heard her shouting. “Shut the door!”   It was hard going, but Rainbow eventually managed to pull the doors closed behind her. “Pinkie, where are you?” Between all the balloons and decorations, most of them pink (no surprise there, considering who was doing the decorating and who was getting married), it was like trying to spot Rarity in a snowstorm.   “Over here! I’m by the pool!”   The what? Dash blinked, maneuvering her way through the field of balloons until, sure enough, she came upon a small foal-sized pool. Huh. So that’s a thing. Would’ve made the past Grand Galloping Galas I’ve gone to a lot more fun. “Only you Pinkie, only you.”   Pinkie Pie’s head burst out the water, despite the pool appearing much too shallow for a full-sized pony to hide in. “Only me what?”   “GYAH!” Rainbow leaped back in shock. “Don’t do that! I’ve already had enough surprises lately!”   “Sorry!” Pinkie chirped, not sounding put off at all as she stepped out of the pool, shaking herself dry. “Been busy setting everything up! What do you think?”   Now through the worst of the balloon screen, Dash could take in the room and its decorations as a whole. Tables were set up along the walls, covered in plates and bowls that would eventually be filled with food and drinks. There were sculptures made of ice—Rainbow thought about mentioning that they’d probably melt before the wedding but decided against it—a chocolate fountain, little prizes and goody-bags strewn about in festive bags and boxes…all in all, it looked like a pretty awesome looking set up.   “This looks really great, Pinkie!” To Rainbow’s surprise, Pinkie’s smile seemed a touch…sad.   “Thanks Dashie.” Pinkie wrapped her up in a big, tight hug. “It means a lot that somepony likes it.”   “What do you mean?” Rainbow squirmed against Pinkie’s bear hug. What a grip for a somepony on the verge of losing her own! “Everypony loves your parties!”   Pinkie let go and sighed. “Except that they don’t. Not this time anyway…I don’t know why. I tried my super-duperiest best, I really really did!” Her mane seemed to droop in depression along with the rest of her. “But everypony wants me to do something different and what they want is different from each other so if I try to do everything the party’ll look like a big old jumbo puzzle made of pieces from different puzzles, which sounds kinda fun but it’s not.” “What do you mean? Who doesn’t like all of this?” Rainbow waved a hoof around expressively. “Well, first there was this group of ponies who usually organized the Grand Galloping Gala. I thought, ‘Great! Here’s a bunch of ponies who throw the biggest, bestest party in all of Equestria every year! We’re gonna get along great!’ So I wanted to surprise them by giving them a big hello with my welcome wagon and---” She mixed up the batter and the confetti again. Rainbow mentally sighed. “--I mixed up the batter and the confetti again!” Pinkie giggled. “What a mess! It was kind of funny…but nopony was laughing!” She frowned. “Even after I said sorry and offered to clean them up--I had already put the soap in the cannon--but instead they wanted to talk about the party. Which is great because I like to talk about parties!” “No kidding.” Rainbow deadpanned. “Never! ...Well, okay I like kidding a lot but not about parties! Parties are serious business and I had so many great ideas! With sundaes and sunrays and sasparillas and even things that don’t start with the letter s!” Pinkie slumped down. “But they didn’t like my ideas. They used a lot of words like ‘foalish,’ ‘banal,’ and ‘low-class.’” Rainbow wasn’t surprised. For all its reputation as the biggest, most prestigious celebration in all of Equestria, the Grand Galloping Gala was a snorefest designed to appeal only to the most stiff, boring and upper crust ponies who had convinced themselves that fun was boring and boring was fun. “S’okay Pinks...I’ve been to the Gala before. The ponies that put it together were so unhip it’s a wonder their rumps didn’t fall off.” That won a startled giggle out of Pinkie. “They’d look pretty silly running around without any rumps! Maybe I could get them to play Pin the Tail on the Pony?” Her brightened mood only lasted for a moment. “I just wanted so badly to make something fun for everypony: for Cadance and Shining Armor, for all the crowds of ponies coming to watch the wedding, and even for the snooty-snoot ponies. But I can’t!” Her big blue eyes started watering. “Aww, Pinks…” Rainbow clapped a hoof on her shoulder. “S’okay. Me and the girls will love any party you throw, and Cadance will too.” Pinkie stomped her hoof, her voice growing petulant. “No, they won’t. They haven’t even been helping. They’ve just been complaining and messing up what I’m trying to do!” A sinking feeling began to grow in Rainbow’s gut. Not Pinkie too...swallowing heavily, she forced herself to ask Pinkie what she meant. Pinkie’s frown grew more pronounced. “I asked Rarity to help me with all the snooty-pants ponies--maybe find something they’d like and everypony else would too. But no! She said she was too busy to help and just tried to boss me into doing whatever the fancy ponies wanted for the reception.” Dash winced, having already seen what Rarity was like under stress. “Yeah, she’s...kinda dealing with a lot of stuff.” “That’s no excuse!” Pinkie sulked. “And Applejack’s just as bad! She’s supposed to be baking way more sweets and cakes than she is right now, cuz she’s so busy arguing with that chef, so that just means even more work for me!” She rubbed her face and started talking faster and faster. “And Fluttershy’s been sneaking treats for her animal friends and says they’d really like to come to the party too and so would their friends at the royal zoo—and that'd be kinda fun actually but not in a wedding reception! All the animals would eat the food and then there wouldn't be anything left!” “Pinkie--” “And Twilight won't stop telling me to get things done and I'm doing my best and I tell her that but she just gets redder and redder until she storms off in a huff!” Pinkie grabbed a balloon and screamed into it, filling it with air before letting go. The now filled balloon floated to the top of the room … where it popped against a chandelier, releasing Pinkie Pie’s scream of frustration. “Arrrrrgh!” Rainbow Dash couldn’t quite process this. Not just the thing with the balloon--there were some things about Pinkie Pie you just had to accept--but seeing her so angry. It just felt wrong. She managed to squelch the familiar suspicious feeling that had been her constant companion for the last few days and stammered out, “Uh … wow, Pinkie. That sure is ... something.” Pinkie nodded. “It's a big something! And I've got too many somethings to deal with 'cause of the reception! I could just ... just…” She slammed a pink hoof down on a balloon and popped it. “There!” There was no suppressing her surprise this time. “Whoa, Pinkie!” But Pinkie seemed to miss just how shocked Rainbow was. “It’s fine. I got loads more anyways.” She huffed as she started inflating a replacement balloon. “Are you … feeling okay, Pinkie?” Rainbow asked. She started to offer to help...but then she recalled just how well that worked with Rarity. Dash suddenly had a mental image of Pinkie asking her to inspect the party cannon--from the inside. “I'll deal with it.” Pinkie sighed sadly, to Rainbow it was one of the most unnatural and depressing sounds she had ever heard. “'Cause if I don't I'll just get moaned at. Just about everypony has today. Except you, Dashie.” She gave Rainbow a sad nuzzle. “Thanks for being a pal. But you better go—I got big stuff to do.” Rainbow recalled reading a book once upon something called mirror universes. Not universes you had to pass through a mirror to get through (those were just stupid), but a universe where everything was flipped. Mares were stallions and stallions were mares, Luna banished Celestia to the sun, totally far out crazy stuff. Right now, Rainbow Dash felt like she had somehow wandered into one of those mirror universes. It made about as much sense as anything else she’d seen lately. Pinkie Pie was practically a whole ‘nother pony when she wasn’t her usually happy, giggly self. It was actually pretty jarring. Despite being occasionally put off by Pinkie’s randomness, Rainbow had become friends with the perky pink pony who would do whatever it took to make everypony else’s day better. But now that Pinkie was the one who needed some cheering up, Rainbow couldn’t do anything for her. If that even is Pinkie… the familiar whisper of suspicion rose from Dash’s mind. Imagining that Pinkie was secretly a shapeshifting bug monster was somehow more plausible--and even a bit more comforting--than the thought that the sad little pony putting together the reception was actually Pinkie Pie. Realizing that she’d left Pinkie without a reply, Rainbow managed to get out a hurried, “Well … I--okay. See you around Pinkie.” “Yeah, bye.” Pinkie turned to work on some more preparations. “Hope your planning for Cadance’s bachelorette party goes better than mine.” Bachelorette party? Rainbow’s eyes widened as she realized she’d practically forgotten all about it. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate! Then she remembered that her other friends from Ponyville--Cloud Kicker and Ditzy “Derpy” Doo--and the foals would be arriving soon too. Derpy’s a really empathetic pony. She can tell if there’s something bothering somepony--or if they’re hiding anything. And Cloud’s spent lots of time with a bunch of stoic, stone-faced guards for relatives. If she can’t read bugs trying to be ponies, nopony can. And they would be bringing with them the foals for Cadance’s flower girls: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Dinky, Alula (and Pip would be holding the rings). Cadance had always been a bit foal crazy--Rainbow felt a brief moment of pity for poor Shining Armor--and the experience in liberating the Crystal Empire had only reinforced it. And the trio of Dinky, Alula and Pip had become a solid group of friends after their shared adventure together. Regular little heroes of the playground too. With them and AJ and Rarity’s little sisters around, Rainbow was sure that the imposter would slip up, let something loose that would show it for what it really was. They’d be exposed in front of every...pony… Dash’s face paled as she thought about having an unmasked changeling unloosed with a bunch of small foals around--including her godkid. No, no no! I can’t have one of those THINGS near Dinky or Scootaloo or any of the kids! Gyah! I have to figure this out before the kids get too close...but how? That’s when she had one of her brilliant--if she did say so herself--ideas. The bachelorette party is gonna be the best chance to get everypony together some place public and without risking the kid’s safety. And with all the partying, booze and other stuff, they might let their guard down. That way, I can figure out once and for all just who the fake is. And I’ll have Cadance, Ditzy and Cloud around to help me out. They can tell me if they see anypony acting wrong! It’s perfect! She frowned. Unless Cloud or Derpy have been replaced too! Dammit, can’t I trust anypony?! Rainbow trotted out, feeling her guts churning. She only hoped that the changelings focused their attention on Canterlot and its ponies, instead of reaching out to a small town like Ponyville. She’d keep her eyes open, but really hoped that Cloud and Derpy were still … themselves. Nah the changeling’s wouldn’t go after them … would they? Cloud’s part a big military family. The guard has about a bajillion Kickers in them. And Derpy--they could’ve gotten to one of my other friends through her. Nopony would ever suspect her! Rainbow rubbed her face as she thought about it. Princess Celestia would’ve mentioned if she thought the changelings would go after my non-Elements of Harmony friends. Maybe I can try testing them with something. Like with muffins or...whatever weird pervy things Cloud likes. Ugh. So the plan was: make sure Cloud Kicker and Derpy weren’t changelings, set up a bachelorette party to find out which of her best friends was a changeling, find her real friend and save Equestria. First thing was first though. Where do I find a bunch of strippers on such short notice?