Chapter 5:
The room in which Derpy was lead to had a ceiling that must have been at least twenty feet tall. At the apex of the room there was a stained glass window, which flooded the room with coloured light. The scene that was depicted was of Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna standing atop the mountain where the castle now stood. They gazed over the land and the ponies they did preside over with a contemplative expression, their hooves crossing each other as they stood together. The sound of clinking broke Derpy's focus as the two royal guards from before appeared from where they entered. They waited on Derpy, their heads bowed.
“Your muffin, miss Hooves...” They offered.
At the other side of the room, Celestia turned around and sat on one of her decadent silk lined arm chairs, stuffed with alicorn feathers. Derpy took the muffin the guards offered her, which by a stroke of luck was also a blueberry one.
“Thanks guys, see you later...!” Derpy answered.
As they turned to leave, Derpy's attention turned back to the Princess, who was stroking her hoof to her chin thoughtfully, waiting for the guards to vacate the area.
“It was a very nice thing you did Derpy, but you have to understand... We have to keep it to ourselves, for a number of reasons.”
Derpy nodded quickly towards the Princess, with the muffin in her hoof. Even though she thought it was really cool being able to hug the Princess, she respected her wishes.
“Ok Princess, I wont tell anyone. I just hope you have someone to hug. They always cheer me up, sometimes more than muffins.” She said.
“...What you say is very true. Maybe there will come a time where I wont need to be so careful. But we should talk about your cutie mark.”
Derpy hoped that did happen, because she could tell in the brief moment they shared, The Princess missed being hugged. The regal alicorn sighed silently to herself, sometimes finding herself longing for the simple life of one of her mortals.
“As you know, all things come from me, as does the cutie mark on your thigh. However, I do not use my powers to read cutie marks. Their purpose Derpy is to reward and promote living your life to it's fullest. Fillies will work hard and try all kinds of things to earn them. It is then down to them to discover what they mean, and who they are as a pony. Sometimes it's plain to see, other times it is less so. This is but the beginning of your journey of self discovery.”
Derpy sat on the rug, her tail flopping from side to side as she absorbed every word the Princess said. She finished the last of her muffin as the Princess unwrapped the parcel the royal guards had given to her from Derpy. As the wrappings fell away, a folded blanket was revealed. The alicorn let it unfold in the air using her magic, to reveal a hand stitched image of the full moon. Standing before it was the same dark alicorn present on the stained glass ceiling, Princess Luna.
“Nightmare Moon! She's not back is she?” Derpy asked frantically.
“No Derpy! You mustn't call her that... Princess Luna, my sister... Seems to persist in returning my gifts. She has been spending her time on the surface of her moon. I used my magic to send her this gift as she lay on it's surface. Apparently she sent it back, not to me, but to the post office. She couldn't even bear to visualise me long enough to deliver it directly.” Celestia said.
“But why isn't she with you Princess?Why doesn't she take your gifts?” Derpy asked.
“You must know that I banished her many years ago, after she tried to overthrow me as Ruler of Equestria. She was sent to the moon in disgrace. I assumed responsibility for her moon, my sun and Equestria itself. Since I allowed her to return, she seems to have been having trouble returning to normal life despite my student Twilight's best efforts. It saddens me how she chooses to isolate herself rather than live by my side.” Celestia said.
Derpy looked down at the floor. She knew what it felt like, not being able to fit in. Even if the mean ponies didn't mock her to her face, she could feel them. She could feel their eyes staring into her, making comments about her eyes or her clumsiness. Sometimes it hurt more when they said nothing.
“...The ponies kneel and bow to my sister. They would do whatever she commanded of them. But not out of love for her. They do it because they fear Nightmare Moon...This however is my burden to bear, because it was me who failed to hear her concerns, that drove her to madness and then I exiled her to the moon for it...For one thousand years.”
Celestia then got up from her chair and pointed her horn towards Derpy. It began to emit a violet light, which caused Derpy to levitate off the ground.
“I didn't mean to ramble like that...The least I can do is give you a free ride home...Take care, Derpy Hooves.” Celestia said
“...Okay then. I hope things work out!” Derpy answered, disappearing from the castle in a blinding light.
“...Me too... And so long as there are ponies like you around, Luna may see sense yet.” Celestia said to herself.
First Class sat with his Hooves propped up on his desk, browsing through a collection of envelopes that laid neatly on his desk. He had a rubber stamp in his mouth and was marking all of “return to sender” mail. Just then a small grey pony fell straight on top of the pile of envelopes, sending them flying throughout the office. The impact of the pony made First Class fall straight off his chair. As he looked up from the floor Derpy Hooves sat before him, sporting a nauseous expression, her tail crackling with magical energy.
“Goodness... So it is true...” He said.
Derpy peered down at the startled stallion from the edge of the desk, tilting her head curiously.
“Sir, why are you on the floor?” Derpy asked, quite sincerely.
Quickly getting back onto his feet, First Class straightened out his hair and cleared his throat, folding his arms.
“Well, probably the very same reason your standing on my desk Derpy. But never mind that. I hear you went all the way to Canterlot on royal mail duties!”
Derpy trotted to the side of the desk and jumped off, patting the ground nervously with her hoof. She knew she was about to get in a lot of trouble.
“...Derpy, look at me... I'm proud of you. I know you have very rarely stepped outside of Cloudsdale or Ponyville. You really demonstrated the kind of mail mare qualities that...” He stopped for a moment, looking at Derpy's thigh.
“A cutie mark! You must be so pleased with yourself...Goodness, Derpy, you shouldn't be moping around here, go and tell your friends you silly mare.” First Class said with a smile.
“Oh, I guess your right. Thanks sir, I'll see you later!” Derpy replied
Leaving the post office, Derpy trotted out into the daylight upon the fluffy clouds the town was built on. Now that she was back in her home town of Cloudsdale, she breathed a sigh of relief. Only now had it hit her, the gravity of the adventure she had today. It had all been a blur, looking back, to when she set off until now. There was a faint fluttering noise as the ticket that had been weighed down by Celestia's parcel, was leaving the mailbag in the breezy high altitude. Noticing it too late, Derpy dove after it, landing in a heap as she tripped over herself, watching in horror as it disappeared over the edge of the cloud, fluttering down to the ground.
“Nooo! My ticket...!” She cried.
Picking herself up as fast as she could, Derpy leapt off of the cloud after it, trying to keep track of the ticket. Now that she knew who Vinyl Scratch was, and was in fact fond of her, she simply had to get it. This could be the last time she sees Vinyl for months. By the time she sees her again, she wouldn't even remember her, she thought. Landing upon the surface of Equestria, in the town of Ponyville, a rather eccentrically dressed blue pony sported a pointed hat. It had a design representative of the night sky, in purple, with a matching cape. She appeared to be playing with a bit of paper.
“My ticket! You got it for me, thanks so-” Derpy began.
With a flamboyant flourish, the pony swept her hoof through her cape, in Derpy's direction as she interjected.
“Why...This is the ticket of the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!” She boomed.
For once Derpy felt like the most usual pony in the world as the pony stood with both her hooves in the air, her cape flowing behind her in the wind. Finally bringing her gaze down upon Derpy once more she sported a cocky grin.
“Trixie thinks that whatever Trixie finds, Trixie may keep. Who is to say that Trixie didn't purchase this ticket with her VAST wealth attained from her ADORING fans?” She said.
Derpy trotted in place with each of her hooves in quick succession, flattening the grass beneath her as she whined back.
“B-But Rarity gave me that! Vinyl Scratch really likes me now, I want to see her!” She cried.
“This is not the concern of the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie! Derp-eyed pony may beg Trixie all it wants and Trixie will allow it, for it amuses Trixie!”
This pony sure was a piece of work, sporting an ego too big for even her silly oversized hat. Even though Derpy certainly didn't like this pony so far, her best chance of getting the ticket was to fill that ego of hers. As the blue pony toyed with the ticket in her hooves, she levelled with Derpy, still beaming with inane glee.
“Well, does derp-eyed pony want the ticket or doesn't it? The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie hasn't got all day!” She boomed.
Derpy let herself fall onto her knees, playing into the strange ponies hands. She would have to see where this was going before she made any rash decisions. Besides, if she's half as powerful as she claims, however doubtful it was, Derpy didn't want to find out the hard way.
“GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie....May I have my ticket back please?” She asked.
With a ludicrously over blown laugh, Trixie raised her hooves into the air once more as if for dramatic effect, before replying to the increasingly bewildered pegasus pony.
“Trixie is amused by derp-eyed pony! But Trixie likes Vinyl Scratch and her filthy tracks!”
“Come on Trixie, please. She was really nice to me when I met her. I need all the friends I can get.” Derpy said.
“Derp-eyed pony will work for Trixie if it wants it's ticket. Trixie will take it to her show, where it will be her loyal assistant!”
From across the road, Derpy could hear the giggling of fillies. Turning to them, she spotted the Cutie Mark Crusaders bounding toward them. Scootaloo greeted Derpy with a warm hug as Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were carrying a banner, but they stopped when they saw Trixie.
“Oh Derpy! We heard you went all the way to Canterlot on a delivery. Wha...Is that a cutie mark?” She gasped.
The two other crusaders turned as soon as they heard that. Looking at the banner they made, then at each other, they hid it behind their backs.
“What's that you have there? Is that for me?” Derpy asked.
“Don't concern yourself with the Derp eyed pony or it's cutie mark! It has sworn eternal loyalty to the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie! It will come to Trixie's show! It's cutie mark reveals it to be the relatively average bubble pony!It is destined to meet with Trixie and perform with her the AMAZING bubble illusion!” Trixie exclaimed.
It didn't seem very likely to Derpy that her cutie mark was about being this ponies assistant. The three fillies looked at Derpy inquisitively as she merely shrugged in response. By this time she had realised there was no point trying to rationalise Trixie's behaviour. All she knew is this pony was clearly consumed by the persona she had created. As demeaning as it was, Derpy recognised the passion in her eyes and couldn't help but smile. As obnoxious as she was, she did have a certain charm about her.
“That's right Scoots, I'm going to help Trixie with her magic just now, you're all welcome to come and see.” She said.
The crusaders, by their expression certainly seemed concerned for Derpy, but the promise of their friend being in a show excited them. Derpy seemed to be doing fine, so they were pleased for her.
“Wow, a magic show? And your in it?” Applebloom asked.
Trixie merely smiled and posed proudly before her fans. Derpy got back onto her hooves again to trot next to her. If anything, it would certainly be an experience working for this most unique pony.
“When are you on? I wanna come see Derpy.” Sweetie Belle said.
“Yeah, me too, Derpy is a born star!” Applebloom chimed in.
“I wouldn't miss it for anything!” Scootaloo added.
“Trixie is sure the orange chicken and her friends mean 'to see the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!' Trixie will be performing in an hour...With derp-eyed pony.” Trixie said.
After excusing themselves, Trixie and Derpy retired to her tent. Trixie sat upon a portable stool placed upon the grass, with her hooves placed upon her lunch table. Derpy simply sat next to her, wondering what went on inside the head of the pony sitting by her side. She seemed every bit as lonely as Derpy, despite her charade. Trixie pointed to the juice box by her hooves on the table.
“Trixie requires sustenance to prepare for her performance.” She plainly stated.
Ignoring the fact that Trixie could have easily gotten it herself, Derpy simply picked it up in her mouth and deposited in Trixie's waiting hoof. It was almost as if demanding menial tasks of others and building herself up was all she could do to make herself feel better.
“Trixie's hooves are tired, derp-eyed pony will rub them.” Trixie commanded.
Beginning to wonder what her job description was specifically, Derpy however walked back around the table to take Trixie's hooves into hers. The extent of her knowledge of this treatment was simply from watching the spa pony do it to her. Not entirely sure what she was doing, she squished the stumpy appendage within her hooves grasp. It, like the rest of Trixie's body was a brilliantly bright blue colour. Whatever Derpy was doing, she managed to produce a slight groan within the other pony.
“Trixie thinks derp-eyed pony is good at this. Trixie wonders if derp-eyed pony works in Ponyville spa?” Trixie managed to ask.
Her hooves were fairly clean Derpy found as she worked on them, only noticing a slight scent about them. Turning her attention to Trixie once more, she shook her head.
“Not really Trixie. But shouldn't we be talking about the magic we're doing?” She asked.
Trixie placed the juice box down and stretched her fore hooves behind her head. She groaned as she stretched, crossing her hooves as she did.
“Derp-eyed pony should worry about Trixie's GREAT and POWERFUL hooves and leave the magic to her. When Trixie wants something on stage, Trixie will use derp-eyed pony. Trixie will perform the magic.” She said.
Trixie looked down, almost surprised as the unbelievably kind pony continued to do what she said. She went through assistants fairly regularly and she figured she may as well get a hoof rub out of it before this one left. She pondered quietly as the mare worked on her hooves how things could have went if she wasn't just working for her. She may have made a great friend, or even more.
“Trixie thinks she is beginning to like you, Derpy. Trixie hopes Derpy will perform with Trixie more” Trixie said.
Derpy noticed for the first time Trixie had actually used her name, which she was certainly pleased to hear. Her hair was tickling Trixie's hoof, so Derpy brushed it aside with the rest of her golden mane. Today she wouldn't truly discover what it was like to be on stage, but it would be worth it just to be there and to earn her tickets back from Trixie to see Vinyl.
“Come now Derpy, Trixie had magic to make!” She said.
Trixie and Derpy left the tent to start to put props onto the stage. When it was time for the show Derpy couldn't help but wave at the crowd as she came out, the Cutie Mark Crusaders cheering for her. Throughout the show Derpy was sawn in half, levitated in a giant magic bubble and disappeared using magic. It was a great success, with many ponies cheering for Trixie and Derpy's own fan club cheering for her, now holding up the banner they had been making. It featured a big picture of Derpy flying with her mailbags on her back, with the words “Cutie Mark Crusaders” written over her. Also, Derpy's recently obtained cutie mark had been added onto her thigh. As soon as she saw it, Derpy leapt off the stage next to the little fillies, nuzzling them affectionately.
“Derpy! Come back over here so Trixie can give you her next WONDROUS location in her MARVELOUS tour!” Trixie yelled.
Derpy at this point was placing Sweetie Belle into his mail bag. She fit perfectly, as did Applebloom in the other. Scootaloo rode on Derpy's back, her little wings flapping in anticipation.
“Sorry Trixie, I made a promise. I'll see you around!” Derpy yelled back.
Trixie looked on as Derpy began to trot away with the fillies. The most obedient assistant she ever had and more notably, the closest thing to a friend she ever had. For once she was speechless. Applebloom gasped as the unpredictable pegasus pony began to trot and build to a gallop, leaping into the air with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sweetie Belle held the banner on Derpy's side so it fluttered on the wind behind them. Applebloom looked down at Equestria as it began to grow distant below them. As a land pony, she would never normally experience what flight felt like, the wind blasting through their hair. Scootaloo held onto Derpy's back as she flapped her own little wings in excitement. All three of the crusaders squealed in excitement as they enjoyed the spontaneous unscheduled flight above the clouds.
“We were so right to choose you as our mascot Derpy! Your the coolest pony we know!” Scootaloo yelled over the wind.
“I love the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Trotting through life, through everything, together!” Derpy yelled.
After the adrenaline rush and the giggles passed, Derpy merely hovered gently in and out of the aether, so everyone could enjoy Equestria from a pegasus eye view.
“I can see Canterlot from up here. That's where the princess lives right?” Applebloom asked.
“That's right. She's nice. She has good muffins and gives great hugs too.” Derpy answered.
Scootaloo couldn't begin to imagine why Derpy would know know that, but assumed Derpy was just talking about a dream or something. Only just realising what she had said, Derpy was certainly hoping nopony took it seriously, giggling to make it seem like it was a joke. They flew around the skies until she thought it might start to get dark and probably time the fillies got home. Derpy took them down and back to their headquarters at the tree house. All of the ponies thanked Derpy for the ride as they jumped out of her mailbags and off of her back.
“Did you know, Sweetie Belle, a really famous unicorn pony is coming to Ponyville tonight?” Scootaloo said.
“Oh yeah, that's right. She was called DJ PON3 I think.” Sweetie Belle replied.
Instantly, Derpy Hooves heart sank. She had just remembered that she had forgotten to pick up the tickets to the Club from Trixie even after doing all that work for her. She turned to her filly friends, saying her goodbyes, trying to seem as happy as she was just moments ago.