//------------------------------// // Babies and Baubles // Story: Bad Apples // by Rox //------------------------------// August 14 Well, that was a close one. The uproar in town is just barely dying down. I guess that's what happens in a small town. I read in the Ponyville Express that it was the first robbery in Ponyville in over ten years, and the very first highway style in the entire history of the town. Being so close to Canterlot has generally kept away brigands, and the city also tends to attract the lowlife pickpockets rather than rural Ponyville. At least that's what Ma's been saying. She's a mighty smart mare and I doubt that'll go away with age, but luckily it appears that she has never even thought to suspect her own kin. This despite an irate Really Rich dragging the police to our door insisting that it had to be us. I felt like I was going to implode as they glanced around our home, but Lily was a cool as ice cream in December. It also helped, somewhat to my discomfort, that the officers held the Apple family name in high esteem. But the fact remained, a wrong has been corrected, and as long as our normal sales stay true the Apple family is going to have enough to survive until cider season. Of course, that is, barring any unforeseen circumstances, knock on wood. And by the way, Magnum finally got the guts to ask Pearl on a date. She rejected the poor guy, but I have it from the stallion himself he's going to try again. August 15 I just had to write this myself: I'm pregnant! And Red would never admit this but he just about flat fainted when I told him the news that he was going to be a father. Mom and Dad were so excited to hear the news, and even Orangie got excited at the idea of being an uncle. Of course, this will also put the due date sometime in late winter or early spring, perhaps around Winter Wrap Up. This is so exciting that I can't even think straight. I was wondering why I was craving kiwis. I don't even like kiwis. Well, since my husband came to he has been running wild all day spreading the news and gathering the supplies the doctor instructed. It's finally a welcome distraction from the news of the heist. That's all anypony wanted to talk about for weeks. You know, I promised I'd never return to that world but I guess I sort of got caught up in Red's righteous indignation. But perhaps when our bundle of joy finally comes I'll be able to leave it all behind for good. I just hope our little foal doesn't think too badly of us when they read this journal one day. Actually, my real fear is how to be a parent. There's probably a book on it somewhere, so I'll have to stop by the library. Red's P.S. Unforeseen circumstances!!! October 31 Ya know, Ma told me that I better buckle down and get ready when we found out we were having a baby, and I don't know why I didn't take her seriously. I know that I shouldn't complain because I'm not the one eating for two and carrying around a baby wherever I go, but this stuff is hard. Lily gets these weird cravings in the middle of the night, not to mention she struggles to sleep. And if she struggles, I struggle. I guess that's what being married's all about, ain't it? Sticking together through the hard stuff? Well, I should also count myself lucky that Lily Bloom is such an amazing mare. She insisted tonight that we go the the Nightmare Night festival tonight, and even threw together a costume. I fashioned an eye patch and a red bandanna and just went as a pirate, but even when whole with foal my wife outdoes me. She fashioned a tail end shaped like a fish's, made a gray bodysuit and even a headpiece and flippers that gave her the best whale costume I have ever seen. I love her sense of humor. The night did turn out really pleasant. Magnum and I got caught up in a series of contests, which to the wounding of both our prides we ultimately tied. We were both trying to impress our mares, so I guess that's what we get. Oh yeah, he' finally got a date with Pearl. He was very persistent and somewhere along the line she decided she would give the guy a chance. Lily still seems to love me anyways. My night was made even sweeter when Really Rich was publicly chewed out and spit out like a seed by his Pa. The stallion had started to try and stir up trouble by spreading his accusations against the Apple family, but Stinkin Rich was having none of it. Made me feel a little bad that while getting even with Really we had taken from the gentlecolt too. I figure next season I'll sell him an extra bushel or two for free. November 27 Really Rich is the filthiest, no good, dirty rotten, piece of rotten flesh that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting!! Though he can't prove it, he's still convinced that we were the ones that robbed him that night. True, he's right, but that doesn't excuse his actions! Like I needed any more stress! I'm afraid the last month or so has been a little rough. Fruit bats have taken over our west orchards, and we lost a considerable amount for the fall crop. That of course means there's less apples to make cider with. And while Lily Bloom still trucks on her pregnancy has been hard. She's been sick a lot so we're a mite worried about the baby. But then that glue factory of a pony, who knows way too well our struggles, decided to rub salt in it. He imported cider from Prance instead of from Sweet Apple Acres like they always done, and while it still ain't as good as our homemade cider, it still took away a lot of our customers in a year we were already going to be a little short. I know all's fair in business but I swear that pony has absolutely no sense of decency. I don't let Lily see how much stress I'm under, because I don't want her to worry none. Apple Leaves is thinking of moving away to work for a different orchard over in Yonderhill, seeking some extra money for the family so it'll be just us and Ma during Winter Wrap Up. Oh yeah, and we're going to need to build another barn to top it off. Some punk pink pegasus from Cloudsdale lost control of a trick and plowed right through three of the walls, knocking the whole thing down. At least we won't have to pay for that, because she did ante up for it. Just another annoyance in a long list of them. I feel like I might do something drastic if this keeps up. I try not to, but I think about our little summer adventure a lot. November 29 I nearly did something drastic, and I feel like I should tell the whole story, because something tells me it'll be important. this morning, old Really Rich decided to trot on by the farm like the snob he is to make a proposal. "I know you're falling on some hard times, Apples, so being the gentlecolt I am I have an offer that should... ease your burdens," he said. I nearly hurled, but I for some reason only Celestia knows I asked him what he had in mind. "I'd like to buy your whole north orchard for this reasonable price," he said. He opened a small box of bits, an amount that looked just barely over what we usually sold them their jars of Zap Apple Jam. That paltry amount wouldn't even have lasted us until spring, and this stallion thinks us desperate enough to make an offer as insulting as that? So I slammed the box shut, yelling some unmentionable words that I'm not proud of and will not write down with the sincere hope that my children will never repeat them, and dismissed him from our home by slamming the door so hard that it nearly splintered. I'm glad it didn't else Ma would of killed me. I paced around fuming for who knows how long, but it was long enough that I made up my mind that that poor excuse for a stallion needed to be taught another lesson. But when I looked under the floorboard where we hid everything, I couldn't find the disguises. I headed into our bedroom to ask Lily if she had moved them, but I stopped short when I saw she was resting on the bed and giving me a rather stern expression. I felt mighty ashamed right then, because I was sure she knew exactly what I had been thinking and I was right. "You can't let your emotions control your decisions, dear," she said. "I would bet that Really was trying to bait you to do exactly what you're thinking right now. What good could you do for our foal if you were in prison?" Of course she was right, so I didn't offer explanation. I nodded my head in agreement and walked over to her to give her a hug. She had already calmed me down enough to think clearly again. But she still had something else to say. "And don't plan any more adventures for a while," she said, putting a hoof on my muzzle. "Because I want to go too." I don't think I've smiled so wide since the day we wed. She rolled carefully out of the bed and opened the chest at the end, where she pulled out a black hat and what looked like a hoof-stitched mask. When I asked her when she had made them she laughed. "I'm on bed rest, Red. I have a lot of time on my hooves." I would like to mention my Lily Bloom looks even cuter when she's sarcastic. December 25 I've been told that the best Hearth's Warming Eve of your entire life is the first one with your special somepony. I would have to say that they are right. Red said I should write today because I'm "fancier with the quill" as he put it, but he doesn't give himself enough credit. We started the day with gifts as per tradition, though there wasn't too much to go around like I had been used to growing up in Manehatten. Actually, that made it even sweeter. Red Apple had hoof made a crib, which he surprised me with this morning, that was the most beautiful thing I ever did see. Ma Smith gifted us a both some knitted socks for our hooves, and though such things are only really useful if one were to wear boots, Red and I showed our appreciation by wearing them around the house for the rest of the morning. There was also a letter from Apple Leaves that had ten bits in it from her work in Yonderhill, and the letter itself just about made Red cry. He won't admit that. Anyways, we had a lovely dinner with Mom, Dad, and Orange, where Mom's city-style entrees were completely blown away by the Apple Family's home-style cuisine. Nopony complained about that, and just when I swore my belly couldn't get any bigger I went and ate three full plates of pies, fritters, and hayloaf. This baby weight I keep hearing about might be tough to work off if Ma Smith keeps cooking like that. The dinner was made extra special when Magnum proposed right then and there to Pearl with a dainty diamond ring for her horn. It was so sweet and helped me relive the moment when Red asked me for my hoof. Our guests went home not long before Celestia raised the moon, Red being a little concerned about how much rest I needed and how sick I've been recently. I was a little disappointed, I won't lie, being brought back to bed so early like a pampered filly after having my first real social gathering in weeks. But having Red Apple curled up beside me right now makes it hard to be upset. I better stop writing before he wakes up. He has gotten a little bit overprotective as the pregnancy goes on, and I'm afraid he'll have an aneurysm if he finds out I'm still awake. February 14 Just when I thought he couldn't get any sappier after proposing on Hearth's Warming Eve, Magnum goes and has his wedding on Hearts and Hooves Day. Lily Bloom had a bout of morning sickness that really knocked her for a loop, but she insisted that I go along without her. I was the Best Stallion after all, so I suppose it would have been rude not to. They had the service in the park but then held their reception at SugarCube Corner. Carrot Cake had gone and done it again with his impressive baking skills. I'm sure he's going to make some mare very happy one day. I admit I didn't stay too long though, which Magnum understood, but I thought I should at least mention his big day here. March 12 My wife banished me from the room with a stiff left hook so I figured I might as well write what's going on. We were just settling down for supper when suddenly Lily Bloom screamed bloody murder when her labor pains suddenly kicked in. Luckily her brother Orange was visiting at the time so I sent him after the Doctor while Ma and Me got Lily upstairs. It's about a month early for the baby to be coming so needless to say we're all a little freaked out. I guess I was plum acting all hysterical because Lily socked me in the jaw pretty good, so Ma told me I should wait outside the door until they need me and I did't argue. It's been several hours yet so I'm a little worri March 13 8 hours of labor, but Lily Bloom once again showed just how tough she is. At 4 o clock this morning, Lily game birth to a colt with a my red pelt and her green eyes and orange mane. He's such a little thing and I can tell the doc is still worried but I can also tell he's got the Apple's fighting spirit in him, and Lily Bloom must have been thinking the same thing because she was the one that named him Big Macintosh. Ma seemed to like that, and she's spent all morning caring for her grandson and daughter in law. I don't know what I'd do without her. Guess that makes me a momma's colt. Lily Bloom is finally resting now, sleeping peacefully with our new son. He has been really quiet, other than the big cry he hollered from here to Hoofston when he finally came into the world. You know, I never knew you could love something so fast. We've barely met and already I want to give everything to him. Hopefully there's something left to give. I haven't told Lily, but our cider money is running out. April 9 This is Lily, and I insisted that I write this entry because I knew if Red Apple did he would try to say it was all his idea and he convinced me to go along with it but that simply isn't true, because it was my idea. And I'm going to start from the beginning, which was really two days ago. I'm happy to report that Big Macintosh is happy and healthy. He has the appetite of a bear and keeps everypony busy most of the day making sure he doesn't crawl away. Winter Wrap Up was taken care of on the first of April, and went without much of a problem, even though the fruit bats are still occupying the west orchards. But even with the snow cleared away and the days warming up again, it's still going to be a while before we have any apples to sell. And as you might have guessed from Red's last entry, we don't have any money left. So a couple of days ago, Red and I were both sitting around the supper table while Ma Smith looked after Big Mac upstairs and were looking into our very empty savings box. We tried coming up with ideas but the fact is we couldn't risk selling what was left of our food storage, because the return would hardly be enough to buy food anyway. So I came up with another idea. We could rob a bank. "But, wouldn't it be really risky to rob Ponyville's bank? I mean, Really Rich would be real quick to accuse us and sacks of gold would be hard to hide," Red pointed out, and he was right. But I didn't mean Ponyville. "I was thinking Manehatten," I said. "I know those streets better than anypony, and we can be on a train to Ponyville with nopony the wiser." Red didn't take much convincing, and we got straight to planning. It was actually Red who gave the bold idea to pull it off in broad daylight, and I admit I thought he was crazy at first. But when I thought about it, an idea that crazy was just what we needed. Security is always lighter during the day because nopony expects any trouble, and it would be easier to find a train. So we double checked the train schedules, and using a map of Manehatten we borrowed from the library, we made our plans over the next couple days. We also tried on the disguises I had worked on during all those months in bed for the first time. I had made a black bow that matched the black hat I had found for Red Apple, so I packed that too along with our masks and clothes. To cover our cutie marks I had found an old pair of pants and vest for Red while I found a lightweight, plain tan dress for me. I packed our disguises tightly into a bag while Red Apple went and told Ma Smith our cover story. We were going to Manehatten to see if we could find a vendor to buy our apples this summer, to which Ma Smith raised no objections. She agreed to take care of Big Macintosh while we were gone for the next couple of days and promised that we would see apple blooms by the time we got back. We got to Manehatten Central Station early this morning and we made our way to the intended bank. A stately looking place called Sundance Bank on 7th street. Red and I ducked into the alley and quickly changed into our disguises. I must say that Red Apple looked the part of a rather dashing outlaw. On one hoof he had strapped a very old Apple family heirloom that he dug out of the attic. A little crossbow that was left over from the days before the Apples ever made their way to Equestria. He never intended to actually use it, but rather it was all just for show. As we burst through the doors of the bank as loudly as we could, Red called out, "Attention ya'll! I'm sorry to report that this bank is being robbed and will most likely be closed for the rest of the day!" There were three armored guards inside, each wielding a short spear, and to their credit they charged bravely ahead to do their jobs. Unfortunately none of them were quite prepared for just how strong my husband is. He snapped the first spear in half on the ground with one hoof and then promptly barreled over the first guard. A second guard came after me, but he wasn't ready for me either. I whipped around and flipped the spearhead up with my tail before bucking him in the chest. He should consider himself lucky that I've only had one applebucking season or else he might have needed medical attention. I didn't see how, but Red had managed to knock out the third guard as well and was swaggering up to the counter. I had to stop myself from staring at him and remember to play my part too. "I'd like to make a withdrawal of one gold sack please," he said with a sideways grin. The poor teller was this little unicorn mare who looked so frightened as she levitated the sack over the counter and onto his back. We had decided to only ask for one because we knew the Royal Reserve would easily be able to replace it. We may be thieves but we aren't greedy. Red tipped his hat and I couldn't resist giving a wink to one of the guards watching stunned from the floor as we galloped out the doors and onto the street. As we planned, we turned into an alleyway a block away and took off our disguises as fast as we could, even replacing our new bow and hat for our old ones. There, we stuffed the sack of bits into the suitcase where we also hid our disguises for both trips and then walked nonchalantly onto the busy streets. It was thrilling and nerve racking all at the same time as we made our way back to the train station. Within minutes there were dozens of guards, including some that were part of the Royal Guard, running every which way looking for us. One had even stopped us and asked if we had seen any suspicious characters to which I cheerily replied, "Nope." We boarded the train and we were home just after sunset. Big Mac was already sleeping soundly, Ma Smith having shown her expertise with foals had not yet left her. We reported that we had made a sale and we had enough bits to last us until the first harvest. This was the first moment that we really felt bad about it, lying to her. I suppose she will find out one day, as will the rest of our family. I just hope you all realize, especially you Big Macintosh, that we did it for you. April 10 The Ponyville Express ran this morning with the news of the "Most Daring Heist Ever" in Manehatten. It showed two really bad sketches of what me and Lily supposedly looked like. They weren't bad but hardly enough to be recognizable so not even Really Rich has connected it to us. But the best part was that they gave us nicknames! They called me the Sundance Colt, after the name of the bank, and there was an account full of details I don't remember happening that seemed to include me beating up half a squad of soldiers all at once. Apparently I have the strength of five regular stallions. And Lily Bloom, they gave her the name Calamity Mane, with an equally crazy story about how she knocked out a guard using only her mane like a whip. Somepony must have had too much cider that morning because I don't remember much of that. I think it must have been a slow news day. Me and Lily are still riding a buzz of sorts though. I could barely concentrate on the chores but I still got them done in record time, and Big Mac seemed to share in the energy as he and Lily played all day around the yard. What can I say? Life is pretty good. "APPLEJACK!" Applejack jumped back and slammed the book shut on reflex, startled by her name being called from below. "Yeah? What?" "Oh, yer in the attic?" It was Applebloom. "Yep, just...uh...organizin'" Applejack called back. "Okay! I'm headin' out to a crusader's meetin'!" "Be back for supper!" Applejack took a deep breath as she listened to her little sister scramble down the stairs and out the front door. She set the book down and opened back to the page, completely unsure what to expect next. Unless somepony was playing a prank on her, than by their own admission her ma and pa were the two most infamous names in recent Equestrian history. She had heard stories about them at her bedside....read to her by her father. As she skimmed the pages trying to find her spot, two folded pieces of paper slipped out of the back cover. As she picked them up she read her mother's neat scrawl on the back reading: "Posters from Manehatten that were distrubuted a couple of years after we robbed the Sundance Bank. They got better at capturing what we looked like, but they never could quite catch us." Applejack opened them to find two wanted posters, with color sketches of the Sundance Colt and Calamity Mane.... Her parents....