//------------------------------// // [FIXED] Episode 3: Meeting The Deadly Five...Again // Story: The Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 2: Debt to a Doctor (Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// Theme Well, you still needed that restroom break, so you'll use that excuse. If it weren't occupied that is... New plan! Distract yourself from your bladder and talk interesting books! As you continue to stare at Twilight, you begin to think of ways to get out of this situation... and by that I mean you're mentally panicking like a little school filly who forgot her essay that accounted for 70% of the class grade. WHAT DO I DO! WHATDOIDO! I finally manage to get her off my case, and now she's right in front of me! What if she finds out I'm a changeling! I'm only wearing the El Hunko suit for Luna's sake! Oh no.... what if she somehow finds out that I'm the Hooded Offender! Who knows how much trouble I'll get in if she found out! I... I would have to face those Luna-awful fillyfoolers again! Oh not good, not good, NOT GOOD!!! Your back legs begin to buckle in fear at just the thought of those two mares. Out of all the Deadly Five (a little nickname you made up for them after you almost got squashed by a huge number five sign back in Appleloosa), Applejack and Rainbow Dash are the ones that scare you the most. There was just this creepy look in their eyes whenever they were chasing you or beating you to a pulp that just terrified you. That and the fact that they're the strongest of the five doesn't help. Twilight seems to notice your buckling legs and asks, "Hey sir, are you okay? You're shaking." You're snapped out of your mental panic/rambling when she says that as you quickly cough into your sleeve before quickly blurting out in a panicked tone, "What? I'm not shaking. You're the one that's shaking. In fact everypony is shaking and I'm the only one who's not shaking. Yeah that's it..hahahahahah LEAVE ME ALONE!" Twilight just looks at you strangely with an expression that says 'you're out of your mind'. You realize what you just said as you chuckle nervously before saying, "Eheheh, uh... what I meant to say was... uhhhhh. *ding*" You suddenly get an idea as you remember why you bumped into Twilight in the first place as you say, "Ah, you see I'm shaking because I really need to go-" You stop mid sentence as you see someling walk right into the bathroom that's down the hall. You can't help but stare in shock and horror as you think, Why lady luck... why must you torture me with your sadistic ways. CURSE YOU! CURSE YOU YOU BATHROOM DENIER! Twilight looks at you confused as you angrily shake your hoof towards the sky. She just shakes her head as she says, "Go where,exactly?" You stare blankly at Twilight, before you suddenly blurt out, "HEY DO YOU LIKE THE BOOK I'M READING?" and shove the book in her face. Twilight recoils in surprise at your outburst (you think she would have run away screaming by now, but obviously she must have seen some freaky stuff if she's... Oh yeah, she saw the Hooded Offender), but then she smiles as she says... She gasps. "Ooh, the Valley of Fear. I still can't believe that Mare-riarity kills--" You shove your hooves to your ears. "Ya-ta-ta-ta-I'm-not-listening-ya-ta-ta!" "Oh! Me and my big mouth, I'm so sorry. Well, I hope we all get to Canterlot safe and sound. With all this craziness around, who knows what could happen next? You know what I mean, right? I mean, look at your suit. Rarity would have a heart attack if she saw you." With that, Twilight walks away. You bury your face in your hooves. Of course the other mares are here. And even in the El Hunko suit, Twilight didn't like you. You're going to need all of your cunning if you want to avoid the rest of them. ... You're doomed. "Oh, the Valley of Fear. I love this book! I still can't believe that Mare-riarity kills-" Your eyes widen in shock as you quickly shove your hooves to your ears and loudly say, "Ya-ta-ta-ta-I'm-not-listening-ya-ta-ta!" Twilight looks at you confused (for the eighth hundredth today), before she realizes about to say and shes facehoofs as she says, "Oh! Me and my big mouth, I'm so sorry. Well, I hope we all get to Canterlot safe and sound. With all this craziness around, who knows what could happen next? You know what I mean, right? I mean, look at your suit. Rarity would have a heart attack if she saw you." You bury your face in your hooves as Twilight continues to give you a innocent smile. You then think in despair, Of course the other mares are here. It wouldn't be the Deadly Five if the other four weren't-. Wait, then that means... Fluttershy is here! It'll be great to see her agai-Oh yeah, the whole 'supposed to be dead' thing. *sigh* There goes that idea... You then remember that Twilight is still in front of you, so you quickly excuse yourself as you head back to your seat on the other side of the train (sadly being forced to hold back your bladder all the way there). As you walk back to your train cart, you bump into another pony, as you look up to see who it is, you see... Oh, and Rarity makes a comment about your garish and clashing suit and hat at some point. Rarity confronts you and you panic and think you're cover's blown... but then she comments on the fashion faux pas you committed by wearing a suit with a stetson. She then recognizes you from the Grand Galloping Gala... As the gentlepony who told off Prince Blueblood before "accidentally" knocking him into the wall. Maybe you should get out the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book... Rarity giving you a horrified look. No, seriously, she has head recoiled in fear, hoof over mouth in fright, and she's shaking uncontrollably. You start to panic as you think that she has figured out that you were a changeling (somehow). Before you get a chance to say anything, she points at you and screams in pure terror, "SWEET CELESTIA, LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT! YOU LOOK LIKE A HILLBILLY TRYING TO PASS AS A NOBLESTALLION!" Your raise your hooves up defensively as you say, "Wait, I can expl-wait...what!?" It takes you a few seconds to realize what Rarity screamed at you and when you do, you look at her strangely as you say in your gentleclot voice (you figured that since it's Rarity, it would be better to just talk to her like the "How to be A Gentle Colt 101" taught you to talk) "Madam... are you mortified at my attire? I mean it's just a beautifully hoof-crafted custom suit and a dashing stetson. And allow me to disclose to you. madam, that this stetson is far more comfortable on my head then my purple top hat this suit is normally accompanied by." Rarity continues to look at you in horror, but slowly that look changed from horror to realization as she says, "Wait a minute, that suit, a purple top hat, that magnificent gentlecolt voice, aren't you-" Before she gets a chance to finish, you notice that one of the bathroom doors open. So, deciding that your bladder control was more important, you tell Rarity, "Sorry Madam, but my tank needs emptying!" And with that you charge towards the bathroom. Sadly you're too late as another stallion beats you to it. And by the sounds coming from the other side of the door, you don't think you'll be using that bathroom... ever again. After you painstakingly comb the train to make sure Lightning Chaser is not on this train and history is not repeating itself, lock yourself in the bathroom until the train ride is over. However, after 30 minutes or so, a very rude mare begins slamming her hooves on the door until you throw it open and tell the mare to give you some privacy. You quickly cover your mouth when you see the face of a familiar rainbow-maned fillyfooler. You decide to distract yourself from your bladder by searching the train for Lightning Chaser, You know it's unlikely that the crazy pegasus would be here (last you heard of her, she was wanted by the Griffion Empire for burning down a shine dedicated to M. Night Shyamalamadingdong (which you are glad that happened)) but you just want to make sure history isn't repeating itself. After finding no sign of her (and almost running into Fluttershy, but luckily you got squashed behind a huge white pegasus with tiny wings before she saw you. It was a very... interesting experience for sure) you look for an open bathroom. After searching for a few minutes, you finally found an unoccupied one. Begging lady luck to give you a break, you make a mad dash for the bathroom. Thankfully, you get there before anyling else and you begin to do your businesses. Okay Bugze, when you get back to your seat (or even when you get on the can), just stay calm and read the "Kung-Fu For Dummies" book and learn: Psycho Crusher: Launch yourself forward and spin like a bullet while covered in orange energy to knock through groups of enemies or flimsy windows, doors, or even really thin walls (Warning: Improper use of this technique can lead to headaches or concussions) AND/OR Izuna Drop: Embrace a midair opponent before pointing both of you headfirst towards the ground, Then fall while spinning so opponent slams headfirst into the ground. As you are taking care of "business", you decide to read "Kung-Fu For Dummies" since you figured it would never hurt to know a few new moves to protect yourself and Nightshade. As you're flipping though the book, a move catches your eye. It's called Psycho Crusher. Now this is probably your inner DFV talking, but based on the name and description, this move sounds awesome! This move causes the user to launch himself forward and spin like a bullet while covered in orange energy to knock through groups of enemies or weak/flimsy structures such as really thin walls or glass windows. Warning: Improper use of this technique may result in headaches, concussions, and/or brain damage. I think my head has been hit and smashed enough times that it won't hurt too much if I use it improperly... You familiarize yourself with the steps on how to perform the attack, and you make a mental note to practice later. Learned "Psycho Crusher" Just as you're about to continue reading the book for more moves, someling starts banging on the bathroom door. You try to ignore it at first, but you can't take it anymore as banging has been going on for ten minutes. So with a annoyed sigh, you "finish", get up, and walk over to the door. You swing it open angrily as you yell, "WHAT DO YOU BLOODY WANT, THIS TOILET IS... oc... cu... pied." You stop yelling as you see who was banging the door... A very mad looking rainbow-maned fillyfooler. You stare at each other for another minute or so, before Rainbow suddenly picks you up and throws you out of the way as she yells, "OUTTA THE WAY!" and dashes into the restroom and slams the door. You just stare dumbfounded at the (now closed) bathroom door, and you can only think, Weirdest. Déjà vu. Ever! As you stare one of your many pony-equivalents of death in the eyes, you suddenly get a flashback to your Grandbuggy and his words of wisdom. "Now take it from me Bugzy, mares are trouble; never had any good that came outta them." "But what about me? How would I have been born if you didn't meet someling you really liked." Then he just stared blankly at you and sighed. "Bugzy... one day I'll tell you where hatchlings come from, but until then, just remember: When confronted with a mare, stay cool, calm and collected. Don't do anything that would anger them, just slowly back away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide more money in the walls of this rickety shack. *end flashback "He never did tell me where hatchlings come from." You mutter to yourself, gaining an odd glance from Twilight. "Okay, just remember what he told me; cool, calm and-" Then the rest of the mane 6 show up behind Twilight "Oh screw it." "AAAAAAAAHH!" you fall onto your back screaming like a little filly. Twilight :"What is it?! Are you okay?!" Rarity :"Not with that outfit he's not" AJ: "Ya'll got a problem with stetsons?" "AAAAAAAHH!" You scream again, this time pointing a trembling hoof at them. Somehow they think that means somethings behind them is causing you to scream, and they all turn around. Seeing your opportunity to escape, you quickly get to you hooves and run, still screaming your head off. ... "aaaaaaaahh." You get smacked in the face by the door in front of you, knocking you down. You slowly remove your head from being apart of the wooden menace as you mutter, "One of these days, I'll walk through a door that doesn't smash my face...." As you're muttering, you don't notice an orange cowpony walk out from behind the door that was slammed into your face. You finally notice her when she says, "Ah, sorry pardner, I didn't know ya'll were behind the door, you okay?" You just stand there and stare at her (you're almost as bad as the buffalo when it comes to staring lately) as you begin to have a mini panic attack. As you stare one of your many pony-equivalents of death in the eyes, you suddenly get a flashback to your Grandbuggy and his words of wisdom. "Now take it from me Bugzy, mares are trouble; ain't never had any good that came outta them." "But what about me? How would I have been born if you didn't meet someling you really liked?" He just stared blankly at you and sighed before continuing, "Bugzy... one day I'll tell you where hatchlings come from, but until then, just remember: When confronted with a mare, stay cool, calm and collected. Don't do anything that would anger them, just slowly back away. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hide more money in the walls of this rickety shack. "He never did tell me where hatchlings come from." You mutter to yourself, gaining an odd glance from Applejack before you think, Okay, just remember what he told me; cool, calm and- Suddenly Rainbow, Rarity, Pinkie, and Twilight show up behind Applejack. You could more-or-less keep your nerves when interacting with them individually, but now that all five of the Deadly Five are here, you can't help just sigh in defeat and think, Ah, to hay with it. And with that you take in a deep breath as you start to... scream for your mommy "AAAAAAAAHH!" All the mares recoil at your sudden screaming and Twilight worriedly asks, "What is it?! Are you okay?!" Rarity just scoffs as she says "Not with that combination he's not" "Ya'll got a problem with stetsons?" Applejack responds while glaring at Rarity. "Oh! Maybe he saw that REALLY bad short flick about the two fillies and a cup!" Pinkie rambles. "AAAAAAAHH!" You scream again, this time pointing a trembling hoof at them. Somehow they think that means something's behind them and they all turn around. Seeing your opportunity to escape, you quickly get back on your hooves and run, still screaming your head off. You then find a closet that you hide in for the fest of the trip to Canterlot... 2 HOURS LATER Two hours later finds you approaching the castle. If you're wondering why, well you see, as soon as you got off the train, a TARDIS-colored envelope smacked into your face. After you finally managed to tear it off you (literally. It came to life when it hit you and started to trying to devour your face. Yeah... you no longer trust envelopes anymore), you opened it and read the letter inside, Dear Bugze, Hello again old chap, The Doctor here. Now I need you to go to the Canterlot castle please. When you get there, find a hallway that is full of window paintings. I'll contact you after you get there. Also, I need you to wear the Hooded Offender Coat as well. From, The Doctor P.S. Derpy says hi and you're still getting that time-out. P.P.S. Can you please make sure that Nightshade doesn't eat ALL the jelly babies this time? P.P.P.S. If by some small chance the envelope eats you, Derpy probably got the-. Then again, if the envelope ate you you wouldn't be reading this right now would't you... nevermind. After you read it, you reluctantly started to head to the castle. Back to the present, you finally got there after you had to ice-skate/slip down the road to get there after the ground turned into soapy ice. When you got to the castle, you were surprised to see that the gates were open! You just shrug your shoulders as you sneak inside. Once you were in the courtyard, you hid in a bush as you changed from your "El Hunko" suit to your awesome coat. As you put up the hood, you can't help but think... How in the name of Luna am I even gonna get in there? Outro What do you do?