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A… New Experience
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After entering the school, Alex was directed to the principal’s office to get his test papers. Since he was a special case, and wasn’t in any of the assigned classes, he had to write in a special room, where he would be monitored by Tammy, his uncles Fiancé. And, wanting to waste no time, he asked to have the test as quickly as possible. It was when it arrived, however, when it broke his spirit.
Alex grumbled at the sheer amount of work he had been handed, and expected to do. It was piles, upon piles of paper, which seemed to have absolutely no end to them whatsoever.
But, as the time progressed, he fought with the desire to go back to sleep, and managed to dig himself out from under the massive amount of paperwork. It was the most satisfying feeling he had ever felt, when he reached the final question of the test.
But, the question itself on that paper was long. It was longer than anything he had ever seen in his life. His brain couldn’t even begin to comprehend how so many symbols, numbers, and what he assumed was some alien language, could fit on to a single piece of paper. It was ridiculous.
But, pressing the button on his calculator, he began. He would have this thing conquered before you could say ‘tzatziki!’
Well, in Alex’s case, it takes about a two hundred tries to say it right. So... He’d have it done in the time it takes to say ‘tzatziki’ two hundred times?
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The girls were all feeling the pressure Chet was putting on them, as he tried to pry out just where Alex had been for so long, and what had happened that led to his break-up with Dash. So far, they were changing subjects, throwing up roadblocks… Pinkie even drank a massive milkshake in two gulps, so she could belch, and cut Chet off midsentence.
“There are better than the one’s back home!” Pinkie beamed, surprisingly keeping the secret under wraps, “Can I have another one?”
“Sure thing,” Chet smiled, gesturing to the usual waitress, Rosie, to grab Pinkie a refill, “So! Back to the topic at hand! Where did you all say you lived?”
The girls were once again silent as he asked this question. None of them daring to explain what ‘Ponyville,’ or ’Equestria,’ was to him. They’d all be sent to some hospital, and thrown in the psych wards! Well, that’s what Alex told them anyway.
“Alex said he went to Washington, after meeting that Sarah girl, right?” Chet tried to fill in the blanks, having no information to go on.
“Yes!” Twilight nodded instantly, happy that he had named a place from this world, instead of asking a question they could never answer, “We… are from Washington!”
“Sure are!” Applejack agreed instantly, “Love that Washin’ton!”
“Washington.” Rarity agreed, nodding slowly.
“Okay… well, you kinda sound like you’re lying,” Chet said, knowing the smell of bullshit from a mile away.
“Eheh… well—“
“Breakfast is served,” Rosie, their waitress said, carrying a tray with several plates on it, as another waitress walked behind her with the other two plates, “Who had the pancakes?”
“Those are mine!” Rarity said, raising her hand. They were her favorite breakfast food, and she was excited to try them in a different world.
“Who had the salads?” She asked, “I got three. Two leaf, and one fruit.”
“Ah’m fruit,” Applejack said, as she was given her food.
Then, Twilight and Fluttershy raised their hands, getting the other two sets of salad, which just left two plates, both covered in every kind of breakfast food one could imagine.
“And the Lumberjack breakfasts are for you two?” She asked, glancing uneasily between Chet and Pinkie, “You sure hun’?”
“Sure am!” Pinkie nodded, excited herself to see what a breakfast on earth would be like.
“So am I,” Chet laughed, as he was given the massive plate of food, “Besides, I think I can finish whatever she doesn’t eat.”
“You’re gonna die young, Chet,” Rosie jokingly-warned him, giving Pinkie her plate.
“As long as I die happy, right?” He laughed, grabbing a piece of bacon and munching it down, “Good as always!”
Feeling her heart flutter at the mention of delicious food, Pinkie followed suit, and lifted the red strip off her plate carefully with her thumb and index finger. Lifting it to her nose, she gave it a careful sniff, and wasn’t at all put off by the smell. In fact, it smelt really good!
So, wasting no more time, Pinkie placed the entire thing in her mouth, chewed it slowly, making sure to savor every little bit of artery blocking grease, before swallowing, and growing the biggest smile she had yet to make on earth.
“Wow! This stuff is amazing!” Pinkie beamed, looking around the table, “You guys have to try this!”
Giving the food an odd look, it only took Twilight a few moments to remember a conversation she had had with Alex some time ago, back when he first moved to Ponyville. He had asked if ponies were omnivores. It was a scary question to be asked, as ponies were strictly vegetarian. She had then learned that humans were meat eaters. Something that freaked her out a little bit.
But, here she was now, and she had to somehow tell Pinkie that she had eaten pig.
“I… uh… think you and I should go to the bathroom, Pinkie,” Twilight said uneasily, as the pink haired girl gave her a tilted head, “I hate being alone, you know?”
“Sure thing Twilight!” She beamed, jumping up from her chair and waiting patiently.
“We’ll be right back,” Twilight laughed uneasily.
Leading her away, the two went in to the bathroom, and, once checking to make sure they were alone, Twilight locked the door.
“What’s wrong Twilight?” Pinkie asked, now concerned that something was gravely wrong, “Is this an emergency?!”
“Not really, Pinkie,” Twilight said uneasily, scratching the back of her head, “You just… Um, should stop eating that red stuff.”
“But it’s so good! I wanna eat it for the rest of my life!” Pinkie said, feeling her mouth water at the thought of it once again.
“Pinkie, it’s just… not something you should be eating, okay?” Twilight said, not wanting to break her little heart.
“Why not?” Pinkie asked, huffing as she gave Twilight a strong frown, “Just tell me!”
“It’s meat, Pinkie!” Twilight exhaled loudly, “I’m pretty sure, by the distribution of fat, and muscle, that you just ate fried pig.”
The frown on Pinkie’s face expanded further than Twilight ever thought she would see. It went down, and down, until her face simply looked terrifying, instead of sad.
“I a-ate, meat?!” Pinkie asked, her voice ragged, and troubled to a point that scared Twilight, “I- I-“
“It’s not so bad, Pinkie,” Twilight tried to calm her down, “Everypony- er, everyone here eats it all the time. I just thought you’d want to know.”
“B-b-but…” Pinkie stammered, “We don’t have it in Equestria! And I wanna keep eating it!”
“I know this is hard, but—“ Twilight began, before shaking her head and looking at her friend, “What did you say?”
“How am I ever supposed to go back to eating veggies!?” Pinkie asked, “Oh well! I’ll just have to enjoy it while I can!”
Twilight felt her jaw hit the floor as Pinkie unlocked the bathroom door, and skipped her way back out to the table.
“Oh no!” Twilight heard from the dining room, as she darted out from the bathroom to see what had happened, throwing her shock aside.
“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked, seeing nothing terrible enough to warrant yelling over.
“The girls ate the rest of my cooked pig!” Pinkie whined, as she looked to the three girls, who were now all wide eyed, and disgusted with themselves.
“Beg your pardon?” Rarity asked, praying that she had misheard Pinkie, “Did you say… that I just ate meat?”
“Ah’ knew it was too good to be true…” Applejack grumbled, throwing the rest of the strip of bacon back on Pinkie’s plate.
Strangely, Fluttershy wasn’t freaking out over the revelation, and they all made eye contact with her, when they realized that she didn’t start crying, and even kept chewing, and swallowed her piece.
“Are… you okay, Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, mystified that she was still in once piece.
“Oh yes,” She nodded with a small smile, “I catch and feed fish to small animals all the time! From what I understand, pigs aren’t smart here, just like the fish in our hometown. Where’s the harm?”
“Ah’ can’t say ah’ agree with ya’,” Applejack said, understanding her mood now, “But it tastes good enough to make me wanna.”
“I’ll have to pass on anymore myself,” Rarity said, pushing the plate back to Pinkie’s spot.
Looking at the mound of food, Twilight couldn’t help but ask.
“How much of that food is made of meat, exactly?” She asked, bracing herself for what she was sure would be a terrible answer from Chet.
“Uh… meat?” Chet asked, still lost as to how these girls were so clueless, when they seemed to be smarter than your average six-way participant, “Well, there’s the bacon, the ham, sausage, the egg if you count it, and… oh! Get this! The house special that you've all been munching on is hash browns with actual horse steak! Cool huh?”
It was almost as if silence had fallen over the world, as the girls looked at the plate, each with a uniquely horrified face.
But, out of all of them, Pinkie was the worst. And for the first time the world, she uttered the sad, and disgusted words, “I’m not hungry anymore…”
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Alex sighed, finally finishing the final question on his exam. He was home free! Ready to head back, check on Equestria for a little bit, and then, well, whatever happens, happens.
“Done!” Alex announced triumphantly, relaxing back, as Tammy walked over and picked up the large booklet leafing through it to make sure he didn’t miss a question.
“Very good, Alex,” She smiled, “Just one more!’
“I know I know, I’m really smar—wait, what?”
“That was just the math test,” She smiled, walking to the back of the room, “This is your science test.”
The slapping sound that was made when the book made contact with the table was loud enough to elicit a tear from Alex. So much more work. So, so so so much more work.
“Good luck!”
Alex felt like he needed to yell. Did anyone here even know who he was?
Alex? The awesome hero of Equestira? That guy who has so much power, that he’s able to literally control the entire world?
No. They had no idea who he was.
In this world, he was just a turd that had to write his high school exams… It actually kinda felt nice.
Looking up to the clock, Alex felt his breath catch in his chest. It had already been two and a half hours? He needed to leave in that long from now!
He was going to need some help finishing this test in time…
…
…
Magic spell to talk to Twilight telepathically?
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