//------------------------------// // Chapter 22 // Story: Beyond the Portal // by Firestar463 //------------------------------// Kyle dove to the side just as a sphere of blue energy hurtled through the space where he had just been standing. As he landed, he was forced to roll in order to dodge a second energy blast. He landed on his feet and spun to face his attacker as another ball of energy spun towards him. He smirked and took a deep breath, clearing his mind and focusing Chi into his hands. He sidestepped the bolt, and as the attack sped past him he reached out, grabbing the energy with his hands. He spun around, using the momentum of the attack to hurl it back at his attacker. His smirk quickly vanished as his attacker dug her heels in and reached out with her front hooves. The energy sphere raced towards her, but instead of slamming through her, she caught it with her hooves. Kyle heard her grunt as another flash of blue light hurled the sphere back at him, much faster this time. Kyle had no time to react. The sphere slammed into him, knocking him off of his feet. He flew backwards before slamming into the ground, dazed but otherwise uninjured. Kyle laid on the ground for a moment as stars danced in front of his eyes. Slowly, he regained his senses and became aware of a set of hooves next to his face. He turned his head to look up at his attacker. “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Scootaloo asked, her tail flicking back and forth wildly. “I swear, I didn’t mean to… I was just… wha… why are you laughing?” Kyle chuckled as he pushed himself into a sitting position. “You’ve nothing to apologize for, squirt.” he grinned, giving her a light punch on the shoulder. “That was excellent. Your Chi manipulation has improved by leaps and bounds.” Kyle pushed himself back to his feet, wobbling for a second before regaining his balance. Scootaloo’s worry was replaced by a wide grin. “I hope you didn’t mind how I handled that little surprise you threw at me at the end?” she asked. “A bit unorthodox, I’ll admit,” Kyle shrugged, “And against a more powerful opponent than I, it might not have worked. But it did work against me. And I have the bump to prove it,” he added, rubbing the back of his head where it had hit the ground. “I didn’t hurt you too bad, did I?” Scootaloo asked, a bit of concern returning to her face. “Nothing I can’t walk off,” Kyle waved his hand dismissively before rolling his shoulders. “Now, I’d like to take a little breather before we move on to our final lesson of the day,” he said, sitting down once more. Scootaloo sat opposite him. Neither spoke for a moment as their regained their focus and their breath. Kyle took this opportunity to reflect on the time that had passed since the downfall of the Sha of Cruelty. Kyle leaned back, propping himself up with his hands. “Been a crazy couple of weeks,” he murmured, more to himself than to anyone else. Scootaloo nodded in agreement. In the past two weeks, Twilight and company had been on quite a few adventures, mostly without him. From a fashion show in Manehattan, to the discovery of a possible family tie between Applejack and Pinkie Pie, It seemed like not a single day had gone by that someone wasn’t out having some kind of adventure. Spike had even claimed that he and his friends had gotten sucked into one of his Power Pony comics and had to fight someone called the Mane-iac to escape, though Kyle had scoffed at such a crazy idea. Honestly, the things that children came up with… Of course, it hadn’t been all fun and games. Kyle grimaced as he remembered the opening days of Applebuck Season. Applejack had been up in arms about a swarm of Vampire Fruit Bats that had taken over one of her orchards. Twilight’s application of magic to solve the problem ended up making the problem worse, and Fluttershy had been turned into a Vampire Pony for a time. Kyle vividly remembered his one-on-one struggle with the crazed bat-pegasus in the depths of the orchard while trying to subdue her. In the end, only the clever use of mirrors was able to stop her so that Twilight could cast the proper counterspell. And then, there were the tryouts for the Equestria Games, just three days ago. That had been full of tension for everyone, including Kyle. The Sha’s presence had been quite noticeable to Kyle for those two days, and while they never fully showed themselves, their presence was clearly affecting other Ponies. Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts, had attempted to remove one of her own members to get Rainbow Dash to join their team - clearly the work of the Sha of Treachery. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash’s presence seemed to keep the Sha at bay, and she, Fluttershy, and Bulk Biceps ended up qualifying to represent Ponyville in the Aerial Relay. And then, there had also been the pressures of day-to-day life as a Human living among colorful talking equines. In the immediate aftermath of the Battle of Canterlot, Kyle had heard his and Fluttershy’s name whispered repeatedly throughout the town. Everyone seemed to have a newfound sense of respect for him, and while Kyle continuously claimed that he had little to do with their victory, his name seemed to become synonymous with hope for victory in the battle against the Sha. Everyone in the town seemed to respect him. Or, almost everyone. One pony, in particular, seemed to have a great deal of dislike for him. Bon Bon, the quiet sweetshop owner, never missed an opportunity to glare angrily at him whenever he passed. Just thinking about her sent a wave of confusion through Kyle. Before he had left for Canterlot, she had been just fine with him. Now, however... A small cough brought Kyle’s thoughts back to reality. He glanced over at Scootaloo, who was looking at him expectantly. “Patience.” he said calmly. “We’ll start again here soon.” “But it’s been fifteen minutes,” Scootaloo complained. “Has it?” Kyle asked, looking up at the sky. “Huh. Guess I zoned out for a bit there.” Kyle hopped back to his feet and turned to face Scootaloo. “So. For the past two weeks, we’ve been continuing with your basic meditation and emotional control training. We’ve also added in practice for manipulating Chi, and some physical exercise as well. Have you been running those laps like I told you?” he asked, peering intently at his student. “Yep!” Scootaloo replied. “Five laps around the school and the playground every morning before school, and three more before I go home.” “And your push-ups and wing-ups?” “20 of each when I wake up, and 20 more before bed.” “Excellent,” Kyle nodded approvingly. “I know those wing-ups are hard for you, but it’ll pay off. Trust me. As a Monk, you’ll need a lot of strength in both your forelegs and your back legs. As you’ll see shortly.” “So, what are we going to do now?” Scootaloo asked. “Something new?” “Yes. Kind of,” Kyle replied with a sly smirk. He quickly wiped it from his face as Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been running laps and doing push-ups, building strength in your legs, just as I did during my training. But strength without purpose - without focus - is useless. We will begin today to teach you how to focus your strength. How to harness it properly.” Kyle took a few steps backwards and spread his arms out. “Hit me,” he declared. “What?” Scootaloo tilted her head. “Hit me,” he repeated. “Knock me off of my feet. No magic.” “Just like that?” “Just like that.” “Alright,” Scootaloo replied uncertainly. She spread her wings open and pawed the ground before charging straight at him. Kyle’s eyes narrowed, and he smirked slightly. Just as Scootaloo was about to collide with him, he calmly stepped to the side. Scootaloo yelped as she skidded to a halt just in front of a tree. “You moved out of the way!” she accused. “Indeed I did,” Kyle replied calmly, spreading his arms open once more. “Hit me.” Scootaloo spun and charged once more. Kyle’s smirk grew slightly larger. As she approached, he leaned towards the left. Scootaloo veered to try to intercept him, but tumbled to a halt once more as Kyle instead rolled to the right. “Stand still!” she yelled. “Will an opponent stand still for you?” Kyle asked. “Will they calmly wait as you run up and try to hit them? No. So neither shall I. Now, hit me!” Scootaloo pushed herself to her hooves once more, snorting in frustration. She closed her eyes for a moment, and the anger left her face. She opened her eyes once more and began pacing, circling around the clearing in which the two were practicing. Kyle’s eyes never left her as he began to circle as well. “That’s it. Don’t betray your intentions,” Kyle commented as she circled closer to him. “The opponent caught off-guard is the opponent easily defeated.” By now, only a few feet separated the two. Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed, and shifted towards Kyle’s right side. Suddenly she sprang forward, wings buzzing furiously. Kyle turned so that she sailed past his chest and landed in a heap on the other side of him. “Better,” Kyle remarked, backing away. “But your eyes linger upon your target for too long. Keep them moving. Don’t let me know where you plan to strike.” Scootaloo pushed herself back to her hooves again and snorted once more. She took another moment to regain control over her frustration before circling Kyle again. The two circled each other once more. Scootaloo’s eyes darted this way and that, poking and prodding, searching for an opening. “Her patience has improved greatly,” Kyle mused as he continued to observe Scootaloo’s movement. “She searches for her opening now, rather than trying to force one…” Kyle blinked as Scootaloo lunged forward once more. Kyle raised his arms just in time to stop her rear hooves from slamming into his chest. He shoved her backwards, flipping her in midair. She landed unsteadily on her hooves a few feet away and shook her head to regain her sense of direction. “A good improvement,” Kyle smiled. “You didn’t let me know when you were going to strike, and you actually made contact. But look at me. I’m three times your size, easily. When it comes to a head-on competition of raw power, I am the victor.” “Then how am I supposed to knock you down?” Scootaloo demanded. “It’s impossible!” “Have I ever told you about the first monks?” Kyle asked. Scootaloo shook her head. “Then sit for a moment.” Kyle took a seat himself as Scootaloo laid down on the ground opposite him. “The first Monks were Pandaren - another race native to Azeroth,” Kyle began, recounting the same tale that his master had told him. “For many thousands of years, the Pandaren, along with many other races, were enslaved by the Mogu - an empire of powerful sorcerers and warlords. The Pandaren were allowed to bear no weapons, while the Mogu themselves wielded cruel tools of torture and horrific, dark magics. The Pandaren believed that they could never stand against the Mogu without steel and magic of their own” “Until one day, a single slave issued a challenge to his fellow Pandaren. Kang, he was called. ‘Hit me!’ he said. Surprised, the other Pandaren attempted to strike him, but found they could not. He dodged and parried their attacks, moving like a blade of grass in the wind. He declared that the Pandaren were the strength of the Mogu empire, not the Mogu themselves. He trained the first Monks in secret, and took on the title ‘Fist of First Dawn’.” “And what happened then?” Scootaloo asked, leaning forward expectantly. “The Mogu were large, far larger than the Pandaren. They had weapons and magic, far more powerful than the Pandaren’s fists. The Pandaren knew that in a head-on fight, they would lose. So instead, they did not merely use brute strength, but their quickness as well. The Mogu were large, and therefore less agile than the smaller Pandaren. Their weapons were bulky, unable to strike the fast-moving Monks. The end result of Kang’s rebellion…” “Yes?” “An empire crumbled. A tyrant overthrown. And a new dynasty established. The Pandaren empire. An empire built not on fear and violence, but peace and harmony.” “So you see,” Kyle concluded, pushing himself back to his feet, “even the smallest of voices, if used properly, can change the world. Just because you are smaller than me does not mean that I cannot be toppled. So, I say again - hit me!” Scootaloo narrowed her eyes as she pushed herself back to her hooves. The two began circling each other once more. “Eyes always moving,” Kyle reminded. “Don’t let me know when or where you will strike.” Scootaloo didn’t reply as her eyes darted this way and that again, continuing to search for an opening. Her eyebrows lifted for a split second before her focused visage returned. Kyle continued to pace, waiting for Scootaloo’s attack. Scootaloo leaped forward once more, and Kyle raised his arms to defend himself. He blinked as Scootaloo did not make contact with him, but instead dropped to the ground right in front of him. He reached out to grab her, but missed as she rolled underneath him, ending up behind him. Kyle felt her leg strike behind his knee, and his right leg buckled, knocking him off balance. A second strike hit the small of his back, sending him stumbling forward. He spun around as Scootaloo leapt at him again. This time, he was ready. She yelped as Kyle reached out and plucked her from the air. He grabbed her and pinned her to the ground with both hands. Scootaloo squirmed and struggled for a moment before finally collapsing, breathing heavily. Kyle pushed himself back to his feet and brushed the dust off of his pants. “Excellent,” he commented as Scootaloo pushed herself to her hooves. “That was a much better attempt. You managed to knock me off balance for a moment.” “But I still didn’t knock you down,” Scootaloo muttered, kicking the ground. “I didn’t expect that you would,” Kyle admitted. “This exercise wasn’t about whether or not you could knock me down. It was about whether or not you could think on the fly. As a Monk, fighting isn’t about memorizing a pattern of strikes to perform in order, as is often the case with a sword and shield. Instead, you must be able to notice what your opponent is doing, and react accordingly. Play to your strengths, and always keep your opponent guessing. A monk doesn’t overpower their opponent, but undercuts them, so to speak.” Kyle brushed some dirt off of Scootaloo’s back and backed away once more. “I think we’ll call it there for the day,” he said, looking up at the sky. The sun had already passed the mid-day mark. “Go enjoy the rest of your Saturday. And remember, back here tomorrow morning. Same time.” “Got it!” Scootaloo called out as she ran through the trees. A moment later, Kyle heard the squealing of wheels as she took off on her scooter. Kyle, however, remained in the grove. He leaned back against a tree and slid down until he was sitting among its roots. By now, he had learned of Scootaloo’s disability - how her wings were too small to carry her into the air. It was one of the reasons he had assigned her to do wing-ups every day - By using them more and more, he hoped to strengthen them to the point that she might one day be able to use them to fly. But based on what Sweetie Belle and Applebloom had told him, her wings had always been this way, and Kyle was beginning to think that they might never support her. But that didn’t mean that she had to be grounded forever. Kyle smiled slightly as he reached over and picked up a small pouch, nestled among the roots of the tree. He opened it and pulled out a small bundle of leaves. He brought them to his nose and inhaled deeply. “Green Tea Leaves,” he murmured quietly. “Now I just need some parchment…” “Not a bad training session.” Kyle sprang to his feet, fists raised to a defensive position. He instantly lowered them as his fighting instincts gave way. The voice was very familiar, and as he looked up, Kyle saw a multi-hued mane poking out from behind one of the branches of the tree. “Don’t startle me like that, Dash.” Kyle growled, stuffing the leaves back into the pouch and storing it on his belt. “You remember what nearly happened to Pinkie that one time.” “Yeah yeah, which is why I was up here and not down there,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. She flared her wings and hopped off of the branch, landing lightly on the ground opposite Kyle. “So, this is where she’s been running off to every weekend,” she said quietly. “Been training out here with you, eh?” “Pretty much, yeah,” Kyle replied, settling back down against the tree. “How’d you find us? I didn’t think many Ponies came to this section of the park.” “I followed her,” Rainbow Dash explained, sitting down on the other side of the clearing. “Been curious where she goes every Saturday and Sunday morning. I guess I found my answer.” “I guess you did.” For a moment, neither of them spoke. Rainbow Dash’s eyes moved around frequently, staring at a leaf, or an oddly-shaped bit of bark. Anywhere but Kyle. He, on the other hand, smiled and leaned back against the tree, shutting his eyes and allowing himself to relax in the cool breeze. “Do her parents know about you training her?” Rainbow Dash finally asked. “Yes. We discussed it just after our trip to Canterlot,” Kyle replied, not bothering to open his eyes. “They were worried, to be sure, but -” “What about the princesses?” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “Do they know?” “It’s rude to interrupt.” Kyle chided with a small chuckle. “As I was saying, her parents are obviously worried, but because Princess Luna and Princess Celestia have both given me their permission, her parents seem okay with it. In fact, Princess Luna actually told me that Scootaloo’s training is my priority right now.” “What about the Sha? Aren’t they the big menace you should be worried about?” “I’ve little left to offer in that department,” Kyle sighed. “I can fight the small ones, to be sure, but you girls are the only ones who can defeat the Prime Sha.” “So you’re giving up on this fight?” “Not at all,” Kyle soothed, opening his eyes again. “Quite the opposite. I fully intend to help you in any way that I can. But don’t expect much from me against the Prime Sha. I’ll leave that job to you all.” The two fell silent once more. Another cool breeze blew through the trees, making Kyle shiver slightly. Autumn was fast approaching, and with it, the colder weather. He would need to see Rarity about some new clothing for the new seasons. “So you’re just teaching her how to fight? Nopony else?” Rainbow Dash asked suddenly. “Correct” Kyle replied. He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so concerned all of a sudden?” he asked. “It’s not like you didn’t know I was training her in some way. At the very least, you learned about it at the train station before we went to Canterlot.” “Well… I was just thinking…” Rainbow Dash began slowly, not meeting Kyle’s eyes. “I saw how you did against the Sha in Canterlot. And how you’re training Scootaloo.” She paused for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I was hoping you could… kinda… maybe… teach me how to fight like that?” “No, I can’t.” Rainbow Dash’s head whipped towards Kyle. “What? Why not?” she demanded, all traces of hesitancy gone. “Why can Scootaloo learn and not me?” “Because you’re you, Dash,” Kyle explained, sitting back up. “You’re a fully-grown adult mare, probably not that much younger than me. You’re set on your path already. Scootaloo is a filly. She’s still finding out who she wants to be.” “I’m not talking about changing who I am!” Rainbow Dash pouted. “I just want to learn to fight like you guys do!” “You cannot learn to fight like a Monk without becoming a Monk, Dash,” Kyle sighed, feeling annoyed. “It’s a package deal. One doesn’t come without the other.” “Oh come on. That sounds like a load of manure,” Rainbow Dash scoffed. “I bet you I can do what Scootaloo just did, without all your discipline training mumbo-jumbo.” Kyle sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was not how he envisioned spending his Saturday afternoon. “Alright look, here’s what I’ll do,” he finally sighed. “I’ll do the same thing I was doing with Scootaloo.” Kyle pushed himself back to his feet and stood opposite Rainbow Dash, on the other side of the clearing. “Hit me,” he challenged. “Try to impress me.” “No sweat,” Rainbow Dash smirked. She pushed herself to her hooves and, like Scootaloo before her, pawed the ground before charging right at him. Kyle calmly stepped to the side and extended his leg. Rainbow Dash thundered past him and caught her forehooves upon his leg. She yelped as she tumbled to the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust as she skidded to a halt. “Hey, no fair!” she yelled. “All is fair in war, Dash,” Kyle replied, stepping away once more. “Hit me.” Dash shook the dirt out of her coat and charged once more. Kyle prepared to sidestep again, but saw where her eyes were locked. Instead, he held his ground. Sure enough, Rainbow Dash skidded to a halt right in front of him and lashed out with her hoof. Kyle took a step backwards to avoid the punch, and Rainbow Dash snorted in annoyance. She reared up on her hind legs, flapping her wings to keep her upright as she lashed out at him, hooves flailing wildly. Her attacks were wild, uncontrolled, unrestrained. Fast and reckless. None of them landed. Kyle ducked and dodged, weaving in and out of her blows. There was no fear in his eyes, no note of concern as he grazed past a flurry of hooves that could easily knock him out cold, or worse. Instead, there was only peace. His eyes flashed as Rainbow Dash’s assault moved past the thirty second mark. “Enough of this,” he murmured, stepping forward. He raised his arm to block a downward strike, moving so that he would avoid the blow from the other hoof. As he blocked, he wrapped his arm around Rainbow Dash’s foreleg, pinning her upright on her rear hooves. Rainbow Dash’s expression changed from one of unrestrained anger and frustration to one of shock and disbelief. Kyle’s face remained emotionless as he took a step backwards. He then brought his leg forward, sweeping Rainbow Dash’s rear legs out from under her. Her wings flailed uselessly as she flipped upside down, yelling loudly. Kyle quickly released her leg and brought his elbow down on top of her chest - not hard enough to cause damage, but enough to slam her to the ground with a loud thud. Kyle stepped backwards once more, clasping his hands behind his back as he watched Rainbow Dash panting on the ground. Not a single drop of sweat beaded his brow. In all respect, it was as though he had not just fought at all. Finally, Rainbow Dash rolled back onto her belly and pushed herself shakily to her hooves. Kyle watched as she shook herself, sending a cloud of dust flying away from her. “Hit me.” Rainbow Dash’s head whipped towards him, her eyes burning with frustration. “It’s impossible!” she snapped angrily. “There’s no way - NO WAY - that anypony could ever hit you!” “Scootaloo did.” And just as quickly, her anger was gone. She slowly fell to the ground, defeated. “But… but you’ve taught her… taught her how… how to fight…” “Hardly,” Kyle replied, walking over to Rainbow Dash. “Today was our first combat practice session. All I have taught her are the skills that truly make one a Monk. The skills that you just scorned and shunned. Self-control. Discipline. Managing your emotions. This is what I have taught her. This is what allowed her to hit me.” “Then… then teach me,” Rainbow Dash pleaded. “I want to learn!” “Rainbow Dash,” Kyle said soothingly, wrapping one arm around her neck. “Instead of bemoaning what you don’t have, you should celebrate what you do have. You look at me and see me defeating the Sha in my style, and you forget about your own style.” “What style?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I don’t have a style. I just hit things.” “And that is where you are wrong,” Kyle chuckled. “We each have our own style, Dash. One that plays to our strengths. I am physically stronger than you are, simply because that is who I am. Against the minor Sha, I can direct my strength into powerful strikes, dancing around their attacks before overwhelming them with brute force. I play to my strengths. And you - you swooped in from the sky and plowed through them, using your raw speed to attack. You played to your strengths. Princess Celestia harnessed her Alicorn magic to annihilate the Sha. She played to her strengths.” “Likewise, Scootaloo has a style. She is not as strong as me, not by a long shot. But she is smaller and more agile. And she used that agility to get behind me and knock me off balance. Do you see? She played to her strengths! The reason I defeated you so easily just now is because you tried to use Scootaloo’s style as your own. Do not look to others for advice on how to be you. Just be you.” Rainbow Dash looked up at Kyle and smiled weakly. “So… you’re saying I’m awesome?” she asked. “In your own way, yeah,” Kyle smiled back. “Just don’t be trying to copy my awesome, because then your awesome goes away.” Rainbow Dash pulled away from Kyle, spreading her wings. “Thanks, Kyle,” she grinned, her eyes narrowing defiantly. “I guess I’ll let you be awesome down here on the ground. I’ve got the skies.” She crouched down before taking off, rocketing into the air with enough force to kick up a wave of dust and dirt. Kyle shielded his eyes from the grit, and when he looked back up, she was gone. Kyle pushed his way out of the grove, earning a strange look from a couple of Ponies walking past. He ignored them and walked the other way, headed back towards the library. As he wandered through the park, he noticed Bon Bon sitting on a bench, chatting with Carrot Top. She quickly spotted him and glared angrily. Kyle sighed, feeling his good spirits start to fall. “Enough of this,” he murmured to himself. He altered his course, instead walking straight towards Bon Bon. Carrot Top glanced nervously at Bon Bon as he approached, and quickly said her farewells before departing, still glancing over her shoulder as she left. Kyle sat down on the bench next to Bon Bon while the cream-coated mare seethed next to him. For a moment, neither spoke. Kyle was content to leave her alone while he collected his thoughts. “What do you want?” She finally asked, her tone harsh and full of anger. “To know what I have done to earn your ire,” Kyle replied. “If I’ve done something to offend you, please, let me know.” “You broke my best friend’s heart,” Bon Bon retorted. Kyle’s head whipped sharply towards her. “Come again?” he asked. “Lyra. You broke her heart,” she repeated. Kyle groaned and covered his face with his hands. Of course. It just had to have something to do with that crazy Unicorn who seemed obsessed with him. “Look, I’m sorry if she took it personally,” he sighed. “But I’m not interested in a Pony as a partner. We have laws against that back home.” “That doesn’t mean that you should call her ugly!” Bon Bon spat. “I never called her ugly!” Kyle snapped back. “That mare spent the better part of two weeks stalking me around, and when I finally confronted her, she asked me out on a date. I said I wasn’t interested, and left. That’s it. You can ask Rainbow Dash. She was there.” Bon Bon growled angrily. “Then explain why she hasn’t left her house in nearly two weeks?” she demanded. “Look, Bon Bon,” Kyle began, trying to remain calm. “I don’t know what she’s told you, but… hang on. Did you say two weeks?” he asked. “Yes. Two weeks. Because of you!” she snarled. “Sweet Celestials. I didn’t think she’d take rejection that badly…” “Well, she did. And now you need to go clean up this mess you’ve made out of her!” “What?!” Kyle exclaimed. “Me? What do you expect me to do?” “Go apologize to her.” “For what? Not accepting her advances?” “For making her feel worthless!” Kyle sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Sweet Light… why hast thou forsaken me?” he muttered. “Look, if I go talk to her and try to get her to calm down, will you stop glaring at me like I’m some kind of murderer?” “Depends on whether it works or not,” Bon Bon retorted. “I’m not promising anything but my best effort,” Kyle replied. “I believe we’re done here,” Bon Bon said curtly, pushing herself off of the bench. She flicked her tail angrily before trotting further into the park, away from Kyle. Kyle continued to sit on the bench for a while longer, trying to process what had just happened. He pulled out a pouch filled with hard cider and took a deep swig. Finally, he groaned and covered his face with his hands again. “Confound these Ponies,” he muttered through his fingers. “They drive me to drink…”