//------------------------------// // Rarity // Story: when slenderman left me in paradise // by Jimbob //------------------------------// [Knight] {Me} *Jab* “NO! I will continue to sleep!” *JAB* “NOOOOOOOO! SLEEEEEEEEEPPPP!” *TWILIGHT USED SUPER JAB* I fell off the couch groaning. [It’s super effective!] {Fuck you, need sleep} “Twilight why in all that is holy, did you wake me up?” she looked at me incredulously. “It’s already mid-day!” “Oh really? In that case I should get some more sleep.” I lay back down on the couch and started drifting back to sleep. Then I felt myself being lifted up. “I’ll fall asleep in your telekinesis” “Oh no you won’t” she giggled and dropped me onto the ground. “OWWWWW! TWILIGHT Y U DO DIS!?” I rubbed the back of my head and pulled myself into a sitting position. Cinisavis squawked and hopped on to shoulder. “Good morning Cinisavis, now Twilight why did you wake me?” “Because you can’t waste the day” she said in sing-song voice. {Oh yes I can! There’s just different ways for me do waste it!} [You are like some kinda ninja master when it comes to wasting time] {I can waste time at a college level!} [You know most kids at college study, right?] {Not the ones I’d go too} [You’re such an idiot] “Equestria to Jake! Come in Jake~!” Twilight was standing over me. “Sorry zoned out a bit. Demons in the head tend to distract you” “Ahh how’s knight been?” [Ahh she cares] {What a shame I don’t care} [WELL FUCK YOU TOO!] “He’s moody, like a pregnant woman.” [FUCK YOU!!!] “Really moody” Twilight giggled at my silliness, which was a good thing because I thought she might take offence to that. “So what’s on the agenda today?” I was planning on running back home and setting up my furniture, and maybe running by the mayor too need to get water and sewer installed. I think. Not too sure how ponies manage that kinda stuff. “Well Spike and I are re-shelving the books today! Would you like to join us?” no thanks I would rather watch paint dry while listening to elevator music all day. “Sorry Twi I gotta run by the mayor and have them set up my water and stuff.” “Ok, will you be back for dinner?” “Eeyup. See’ya tonight Twi.” Probably wont be romantic with Spike here and all but hey, a brony has too dream, right? I scooped Twilight up in a quick hug/neck nuzzle and headed out the door leaving a blushing Twilight in my wake. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I had once again failed to eat breakfast, or lunch, or whatever you want to call it. After a quick chat with the mayor, who promised too have my water set-up by sunset, my stomach decided to see if it could cause a earthquake and destroy the world! Luckily it didn’t, it did however remind me too get some food. Plus Knights a whiny bitch. [YOU PROMISED MUFFINS!] {YOU KNOW I WASN’T KIDDING WHEN I SAID YOU’RE LIKE A PREGNANT WOMAN! I SUPPOSE NEXT YOU’LL WANT PICKLES AND ICE CREAM, RIGHT?} [I do like pickles] {All the fucks I give are just falling from the sky! Oh wait nothing happen!} I was laughing to myself as I entered Sugarcube corner, Pinkie was strangely enough not behind the counter, but there were several tables filled with ponies. I looked down in the counter and saw several different kinds of pastries. “Cinisavis what do you want?” he crowed and flew onto the counter picking up a donut. “OHH A BIRD!” AND GEEZUS CHRIST PINKIES ON MY BACK! “AHHHH! Jesus Pinkie where did you come from?!” “Oh you silly, I work here!” ERROR 404 LOGIC NOT FOUND. After a few spark shot out of my head I just stopped caring about it before my head exploded. “OKAY THEN! The bird is Cinisavis he decided he wanted to live with me I guess.” He crooned happily behind me and flew onto Pinkies head. “Ohhh fancy Latin name” MY BRAIN HURTS AGAIN. “Riiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhtttt, in other news Pinkie can I get two blueberry muffins and the donut he ate?” I said while I pointed to the bird on her head. “Okay dokey lokie!” and now she behind the counter and Cinisavis is on my shoulder looking confused. “Don’t even try to comprehend it; it just hurts your head.” He squawked unhappily. As Pinkie handed me a bag as I handed her the necessary bit. “Darling! There you are!” Wait that voice. I turned around and saw Rarity walking towards me. “Oh, hi Rarity how it going?” please don’t offer to make me clothes, please don’t offer to make me clothes. “Fabulous darling! I have been looking all over town for you!” “Oh really why?” “I have been craving a challenge and making your clothes would be just that!” FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- “Oh I would love to but, ummm” COME ON BRAIN MAKE ME AND EXCUSE! “I wont take no for an answer just come with me to the shop.” And then I was surrounded by a pearlescent aura and forcefully dragged out of the shop. “PINKIE IF I’M NOT BACK IN A DAY SEND BACK UP!” pinkie just giggled at me. “Bye Jakey-Wakey!” and then the door closed and I was back in the streets of Ponyville with Cinisavis flying right by me. He looked at me smugly. “Sure make fun of your master being dragged against his will to certain fashion doom.” Probably a good thing that Rarity didn’t hear me or I’d be screwed. Cinisavis just crooned at me. I shot him a look that said ‘I shall have my revenge and destroy everything you hold dear.’ He just looked like ‘come at me bro.’ “We’re here darling!” “Oh that’s wonderful, now may I ask just what kind of clothing you will be preparing for me?” please normal! “I was thinking of making some suits, and party going clothing.” NO I SAID NORMAL! “How about some clothes for work, yeah?” “Well I suppose I could make some clothing more suited for a work environment. Tell me what will you be doing?” umm I’m sticking with the whole blacksmithing thing. “Blacksmithing!” “Oh you are just full of surprises! You will be quite the challenge!” gods help me why?! WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY!? Cinisavis just looked at me and seemed to say ‘you mad?’