//------------------------------// // Chapter 7, Equestria Girls Pinkie-ness // Story: The Chronicles of Summer Rain, Vol. 7 -- monsters in the Grass // by shysage //------------------------------// Wow, big 'oops'... Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie was sitting in front of the steering wheel... It was quiet for maybe half a minute. "Pinkie Pie, can you drive this thing?" I asked slowly. Pinkie's reply was amazing... I wish I could have recorded it... In her high pitched, excited ladies' voice, she shouted "Whooo Hooo!" I freely admit that I am no expert on Equestria pony Pinkie Pie. But what I do know, goes something like this. Pinkie grew up on a Rock Farm. It was a huge farm with fields full of rocks... No matter how many rocks the family pulled out of these fields, the next day, there seemed to be more rocks. It was a rock farm because rocks mysteriously re-grew in the fields for some reason. It was just impossible to clear the rocks from this land, even after YEARS... These fields were useless for any other purpose as a result. No matter how much work was done here, there were STILL more rocks... ...It was a job that was never done. As a pony it was just plain hard to get rocks into a bucket. And once the bucket was 'full', you had to get the handle of the bucket around your neck. And then you had to carry (or drag) that bucket all the way back. Especially if you were after big rocks, everything soon hurt. But pain was just a part of life on the rock farm. The physical toil was amplified if you actually had to break big rocks into smaller rocks, because that's what your customer wanted... ...It was painful, back-breaking work. Finding buyers for rocks wasn't too difficult. The main problem was that customers had a hard time justifying paying much for something that could be found along just about any path or road. And a customer who came to the farm and saw ACRES of rocks, didn't think what they were purchasing was rare by any means... ...The pay was probably just barely enough to support a meager existance for the family. And did I say that everypony had to help with this? Almost as soon as each Pie could walk, it seemed, they joined the 'fun'... What kind of life was this? Harsh... Scraping out a bare existance though back-breaking work, knowing there was no end in sight... Still, in the midst of this bleak picture, Equestria pony Pinkie Pie had learned the ability to bring JOY to those around her. Maybe she just got tired of the rutted frowns she saw, both in the mirror, and on the faces of her family. And, no doubt, Rainbow Dash's well timed Sonic Rainboom had a significant part in that. But the transformation that took place in Pinkie's life, outlook, and mission were undeniable... Not much is known about how her 'Pinkie Sense' came about though. But if there was a diamond somewhere in all those fields, Pinkie could quickly find it... 'Pinkie Sense' was amazing... At some point, Pinkie Pie left the farm, and ended up in Ponyville. She met an amazing group of ponies... Pinkie Pie, her new friends, and Equestria would never be the same... For Equestria pony Pinkie Pie's 'Twin', Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie, the story was similar, but the situation was completely different. It wasn't a Rock Farm, it was a dirt 'Circle Track'. Well, the 'Circle Pie' track to be exact. In order for a Circle Track to make money, you needed drivers and cars -- enough of both of these to bring in a bunch of spectators. The money came from what the spectators purchased as they watched the show; entrance tickets and refreshments. But there had to be a good 'show' in order to bring spectators in. If this sounds like a vicious circle, it was. Pinkie's parents did this probably because they loved old cars. Well, specifically 'muscle-cars', those carburated, loud-mouthed demons from the hey-day of pre-smog, pre-safety automobiles. The races were dangerous enough, but when you added adrenaline and 'road rage'... Generally, circle-track drivers bring their own cars, and had crews to maintain them. But not at this Circle Track. The family kept a large stable of late 60's, early 70's 'big iron' running and ready; this was their passion, it seemed. If they could find drivers, there would be a show. The cars were memorable, and kept as nice-looking as possible. But as you can easily imagine, this fleet of old cars didn't maintain themselves... The Circle Pie track was not a 'main venue', by any means. The track was located in a small community about as far East from the 'big city' as you could go, and still find enough spectators to fill their small stands. And it was usually very hot there, on the edge of the desert... Oh, and one more detail. The family liked to eat, so the Track ran events year-round. Well, when the rains came, they all got sort of a break, only to have to re-build their track when the rains were gone, and the erosion they brought were done. And the 'earth mover' equipment usually had to be brought back to life each time their use was required... Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie grew up in the middle of this, with a wrench in her hand... ...facing an endless stream of flooding carbs, seized differentials, locked up transmissions, blown motors, froze brakes, dented quarter-panels, etc. And then, there were electrical wiring problems, both with the cars, and with the huge, dangerous high wattage lights that made races possible at night... It was usually a mad rush to get EVERYTHING ready by race night. After one and a half hours of show time, the cycle started all over again... ...It was a job that was never done. The worst task known to people is working on a smoking hot motor when it is still 90 degrees in the shade... This happened a lot... Cuts and busted knuckles from slipped wrenches also happened a lot too. But pain was just a part of life at the 'Circle Pie'. And generally, everything that could come off these cars, had too, and was usually very heavy too... Jacks and power tools only slightly minimized the sheer physical labor required to keep the cars running. And re-arranging the dirt on the track, keeping everything painted, moving crates of food, soda and candies... ...It was painful, back-breaking work. The cars were nice, and so the show was usually amazing. But the people in the surrounding towns were not so well-off either. And it seemed like as soon as the family would get a little ahead, some big expense (like a new motor for the bulldozer) would come along. A long stream of new parts to maintain the cars, was usually met with a dwindling 'net income' from the sales at the track... ...The pay was probably just barely enough to support a meager existance for the family. And did I say that everyone had to help with this? Almost as soon as each Pie was old enough to hold a screw-driver, they joined the 'fun'... What kind of life was this? Harsh... Scraping out a bare existance though back-breaking work, knowing there was no end in sight... Still, in the midst of this bleak picture, Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie had learned the ability to bring JOY to those around her. Maybe she just got tired of the rutted frowns she saw, both in the mirror, and on the faces of her family. And noone knows if there was some other 'precipitating factor' like there was for her Twin (Equestria pony Pinkie Pie). But the transformation that took place in Pinkie's life, outlook, and mission were undeniable... Not much is known about how her 'Pinkie Sense' came about though. But if there was a short somewhere in the main Track Lighting circuit, Pinkie could quickly find it... 'Pinkie Sense' was amazing... Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie quickly became the 'go to' person for any problems that were not easily solved. Just a brief description was usually enough for Pinkie to tell what fix was needed. Pinkie grew up around cars, and knew them inside and out, and she had an excellent memory. This may have accounted for some of the solutions she offered... But many of her fixes were just mysterious... Like, one day, her sister brought her a spark plug... Pinkie held it in her hand, stared off into the distance a minute... "Two broken rings on that cylinder, the motor needs to come apart, I'm sorry..." That's just amazing... That's 'Pinkie Sense'... At some point, Pinkie Pie left the track, headed West, and ended up at Equestria High School. She met an amazing group of friends... Pinkie Pie, her new friends, and Equestria would never be the same... Well, actually, someone died in an accident at the 'Cirlce Pie' track. The family of the dead driver sued the track, well the Pie family. The man who died had signed a Release of Liabaility form (standard practice), but the Judge gave the cars and the track to the family of the dead man, and it was over. The cars rusted away and were soon recycled. The Pie's were scattered to the wind... But now, the rest of this makes sense. Wow, big 'oops'... Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie was sitting in front of the steering wheel... It was quiet for maybe half a minute. "Pinkie Pie, can you drive this thing?" I asked slowly. Pinkie's reply was amazing... I wish I could have recorded it... In her high pitched, excited ladies' voice, she shouted "Whooo Hooo!" The fact of the matter was that Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie could drive ANYTHING... ANYWHERE... ANYTIME... Bulldozers, Cadillacs, backhoes, Mustangs, tractors, fuel injected Rice-Rockets, motorcycles, diesel semis... Pinkie started 'big Blue', and let it idle briefly... She turned the steering wheel all the way to the right, then backed up some... Then, still moving backwards, she quickly turned the steering wheel all the way to the left, floored the gas pedal, and did a perfect 'power slide' which rapidly turned my big car around, 180 degrees, pointing out the way we had come in... I realized she could drive 'this thing'... "Pinkie get us out of here" I said with a smile. "Yippeeeee!" Pinkie yelled. She did this quickly... We accelerated past the farm house, past the two monsters in the grass... Pinkie drove the car past those two close poles down the driveway at about 40 mph, with an easy six inches on either side... And I didn't need to tell her how to get back to the Freeway. Well, I didn't know anyway. "Pinkie Pie, you and your Twin are both amazing..." I said quietly. "Aww, Shysage, now I want to see my Twin..." she said quietly. Almost embarrassed, I still had to ask "Pinkie, you have a valid driver's license, right?" Pinkie laughed loudly at this "Every Pie that I have known, was a good driver when they were ten, and took their driver's test the first day they could, and passed first time. And we ALL carry current driver's licenses. Because, you never know when you will need it... I think it's a family thing..." We were soon back on the Freeway heading West. I just sat there amazed for a little while. 'Pinkie Sense' had made all the difference tonight... Well, I thanked true friend too. It could have been a lot worse. Pinkie was right, of course. It wasn't. It was quiet for a few minutes. The only sound was Equestria Girls Summer crying quietly on my Twin's shoulders. My Mare coughed, and I quickly tried to elevate her head so she could cough more if she needed. Her breathing was steady anyway. While holding her up, I felt a pretty big bruise on her neck near her shoulder. How could anyone hit this amazing lady... I tried to avoid anger, I had her back now, and that's what was important. I put her head back down in my lap, and used the wet towel to try to clean her face some. It looked like the monsters had tried to force her to drink soda or something; it was all over her face and neck, and sticky and dirty. After a few minutes, I had most of it off, and her face was pretty clean. I started working on the soda still on her neck. I guess this woke her up. Without opening her eyes, she started screaming loudly. I decided this was probably left over from when they first took her, and it was just coming out now. I quickly realized I needed to say something to her that she would absolutely know only I would say. She was still screaming with her eyes closed; I put my head down near her ear, and said "Summer, please come back..." Her eyes popped open immediately, and she stopped screaming... "Oh, Shysage..." She said, then she started to cry... I carefully picked her up, so she could rest her head on my shoulder, and we just cried together, hugging, for a little while. After maybe five minutes, I tried to quiet her down, then asked her how she felt. "My head and neck hurt, but that's it... ...But that doesn't even matter any more..." Summer said this, then put her head back down on my shoulder, and was crying again. I was too... Both our Twins were crying together too... Well us Twins were all crying the same way, at the same time... After maybe ten more minutes, I stopped crying. "Summer, can you stop crying please?" I asked, and both Summers stopped, at the same time, in exactly the same way. "Pinkie, we all owe you amazing thanks for your help in rescuing our Summers... Thank you... How can we ever repay you..." I said quietly. Pinkie is just amazing... Her reply: "Well you can all start by SMILING! WE DID IT!" And she really did emphasize this last part. Then she put on some amazing 'Party' music... Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie didn't have a 'Party Cannon', but she DID have 'MP3' and a Playlist. This seemed to work well, too. ... I need to add a little more history here. Big Blue is so old that it came from the Showroom with a 'Cassette Player'. That monstrosity quit years ago, so I opened it up and did surgery. I gutted and pitched the player, and added an 'Audio Lead' for the Audio that connected to the power amplifiers inside. I closed it back up, and left the audio cable dangling down the front of my dash. I had connected an MP3 player to this before, and it worked well. And the sound system in this 'luxury car' was exceptional. Well, Pinkie Pie knew EXACTLY what to do with this standard audio lead; she quickly plugged it into the Earphone connector on her phone... ... While driving still, Pinkie Pie qued up the first song, which was amazing... It was called "When will I see you again"* or something like that. The music was good, the beat sounded great, and the lyrics were amazing. Well, noone wanted to do again what we had just been through, but we had gone through this as friends, together, and could always look forward to the next time friends got together to help each other out. That WAS worth looking forward too! Soon, we were all smiling, just happy to be together again... "That's what I live to see!" Pinkie said excitedly. Either Pinkie Pie would have said this. After we were all smiling, at THIS point, Pinkie stopped the music, pulled the audio lead out, and gave her cell to Equestria Girls Summer. Pinkie laughed while she did this, and said "Ponies, don't EVER text while driving!" When Summer had Pinkie's Cell, Pinkie said "Summer, please send the following message to everyone's cell: 'Both Summers safe, heading home, eta 6 hrs'. " Equestria Girls Summer had this quickly done. She did not even have the chance to give Pinkie her cell back, when it rang. "That's Fluttershy, answer it Summer" Pinkie said immediately. Equestria Girls Summer picked up the call, and I'm sure she and her sister both were quickly crying tears of joy, as they talked together a few minutes. Then, Equestria pony Fluttershy was on, and spoke with my Mare (her sister) for a few minutes too, with the same results. Sisters and Twins... After a few minutes, Pinkie had her cell back, and the music resumed. It was as close to a party as we could come, driving down the Interstate... Summer was soon sitting up, with her seat belt on, next to me, feeling better each minute. She asked Pinkie Pie for her hair brush. Then she used the wet towel, and got her hair as clean and wet as she could, then slowly and patiently brushed the tangles out. Well, I helped by brushing her hair in the back. I think we both enjoyed that. I whispered in her ear that she looked hot when her hair was wet, and she blushed brightly; I could tell, because we went under a huge light over an off-ramp on the Freeway. For a few minutes, we all enjoyed Pinkie's music. I think both my Twin and I had been in 'panic mode' since we choked back our tears in Equestria. At this point, with everything now taken care of, and our mares safe, us stallions were both suddenly overcome with the need to cry, and were having difficulty holding our tears in... Both of our amazing mares sensed this at the same time, and said exactly the same thing softly to us "Stallion, save them, and I will cry with you when we can." For both of us, that proved enough for us to wait. Ah, yes -- 'Pinkie Sense'... "Shysage, you know your Cruise Control is busted right? I'm pretty sure that the fuse is blown, but that is the only problem. It is location 14 I think, and there is an extra 30 Amp fuse nearby." It was quiet for a few minutes. "Pinkie Pie, can you tell us about your life up to the point where you met Princess Twilight?" I asked cautiously. Pinkie started enthusiastically into this, and talked, and laughed, almost non-stop, for the next two hours, as she drove us 'home'. I actually included some of the material earlier in this chapter because it made more sense that way. Pinkie had as much fun telling us all this, as Summer and I had later, writing it all down. Pinkie is amazing. I had done sort of a comparative early biography on the Fluttershy and Summer sisters, on both sides of the Portal. That came out amazing. I realized that I should probably do the same with the Pinkie Pie Twins. Well, honestly, all of Princess Twilight's girls are amazing, and I would probably be asked to do the rest at some point anyway. This would be amazing fun. ... Who would have thought, that something as simple as Princess Twilight crossing the Portal to retrieve her 'Element of Harmony' would literally DOUBLE the amazingness of all of Princess Twilight's Equestria pony friends? ... At about the half-way point home, Pinkie Pie eased 'big Blue' off the Freeway and into a gas station. While I refueled, and paid, Pinkie had repaired the Cruise Control... in the dark... without a flashlight... Then the girls went into the restroom together, and were soon back in the car. My Twin and I used the restroom next, then came back. My Summer was in the front seat now, so I guessed it was my turn to drive. This was fine. Pinkie stayed in the front seat too, next to the door, so she could take care of the music. This just put Summer in the middle, closer to me... Well, I didn't mind. I was trying to 'be careful', but at this point, I was just glad she was safe. Just having her near me was plenty right now. We were soon heading West again on the Freeway. Having the Cruise Control working again really did make a big difference. I set it at the speed limit, and enjoyed the ride... Well, we would probably be 'home' at around 5 a.m. I was tired too; I had been up since... Well, my Twin and Summer's Twin were both soon asleep leaning up against each other in the back seat. Pinkie stopped the music, then she fell asleep a little later, leaning up against Summer. My Mare was NOT tired, at all, and so we just both talked quietly the rest of the way home. I was so glad just to have her back. And her smile is absolutely amazing. She would occasionally nibble my ear too, which I appreciated, because it helped me stay awake. Still, I told her that I guessed we would be back in Equestria by the end of the day. This was fine with me; I wasn't fond of this world, not any more. Breathing Equestria air couldn't happen soon enough for both of us...