Living The Dream

by Kickass222urmom

Letter from... the in laws

*BZZZT*

Chibi and I appeared in front of Sugar Cube Corner, which was closed. But, I could hear a few voices inside.

[How did you know they were here?]
{... Lucky guess.}
<Oh you.>

Chibi looked at the door and then me, "It's closed."

I chuckled, "Yeah, but I have connections."

[... Greg's a connection?]
<Wow, he's got a goal in life now.>

I pushed the door open and stepped in. Inside was a few of my friends: Greg, Pinkie Pie, Grace, Octavia, Alexander, Trixie, and Peter.

I cleared my throat and smiled to them, "Sup guys?"

"Yo!" Greg responded, a joint stuck in his mouth.

"Hiya Lance!" Grace called as she and Octavia lay together on one of the benches.

"How's it going Lance?" Alexander called from his position next to Trixie.

Trixie rolled her eyes and looked at me, "Hello snob."

I waved to the others and looked at her. I then bowed, "Hello to you too bitch."

"Laaannnccceee!" Alexander whined.

I laughed and pointed beside me, "I just dropped by to introduce Chibi here."

Grace cocked her head, "Who? There's no one there."

"Yes there is..." I said as I looked to my side to see nothing. I turned and saw him standing outside of the door, a worried look on his face.

I back tracked to him, "What's wrong?"

He gulped, "N-Nothing. Just... tired?"

I chuckled and began to pull him into the bakery, "Don't worry, I'll let you go home after this."

Pinkie instantly appeared in front of Chibi, "OWWW! Who's he? Is he another brony? Or a regular pony? Is he new in town? *Gasp* We have to have a party! I'll..."

"Whoa babe!" Greg said with a laugh as he levitated her away from Chibi. He levitated her over to himself and wrapped his forelegs around her, "You're talking to fast again."

She giggled, "Oops, I guess I got excited."

<... I can't believe I'm about to say this, but: Greg and Pinkie Pie make a cute couple.>
[.... Eww...]

Grace kissed Octavia on the snout and jumped up. She trotted over to Chibi and held out a hoof, "Nice to meet you, Chibi."

Chibi looked at her hoof for a long time before shaking it.

Grace looked him over, then looked him in the eyes. He tried to hold her gaze, but slowly looked to the side.

Grace smiled, "Awww, he's shy."

[.... Creepy?]
<What's creepy?>
[Grace.]
<Oh...>

Octavia jumped up and trotted over, "Awww, is somepony shy?"

The two mare's began to aww over him, like he was a little kid or something.

Chibi looked at me helplessly.

I chuckled, "Ladies, leave the dude alone. He's shy, don't have to be all gaga over him because of it."

Grace looked at me, "Oh, shut up, or I'll kick your flank."

Shutting up... because we all know she can easily beat the crap out of me.

[No! We have a new form! We could beat her down easily!]
{I don't hit girls, remember? That's like one of the only values I hold.}
[You're no fun...]

Octavia grabbed Grace's hoof, "Come on, let's leave the poor guy alone."

Grace chuckled and allowed Octavia to drag her back to their seat.

Chibi looked back at me, "Thanks."

I waved him off, "Don't mention it bro."

"So Lance, is he a brony?" Peter asked as he lay on a table, his head hanging off. He was holding a piece of paper in his hooves.

I shook my head, "He said he wasn't..." I looked over at Chibi, "Are you a human? Or a pony?"

He looked around nervously, "I... Uhhh..."

"Don't worry, Peter and I are bronies." I said with a chuckle.

He seemed to relax slightly, "I'm a human..."

[KNEW IT!]

"Sweet." Greg said in a relaxed voice.

I held up a hoof, "Brohoof?"

A small smile formed on his face as he slammed his hoof into mine.

"Hey Lance, I found this letter. It's for you, but I don't understand it." Peter said as he tossed it to me.

Why did he wait till now to tell me?

I jumped up and caught it in my teeth. I then sat it down and read over it.

'to lance

coWs arE everywhere, Allways tRying to stEal your Chickens frOM your housE, nothING can stop them FrOm taking them from youR houSe, you could simPly hide them in A cave, but they'Re never safe, Keep them indoors.

"What the buck?" I said as I finished it. That didn't make one bit of sense. I crumbled it up and tossed it behind me, "Someone needs to work on their capitalization and handwriting."

"What was it?" Alexander asked.

I shrugged, "Something about cows stealing chickens. Weird."

Chibi furrowed his brow, "Chickens?"

I laughed, "Yeah, chickens. Anyways, who wants some food? I've been wanting to try and make this new recipe I made up."

Pinkie Pie broke from Greg's grasped and jumped in front of me, "New recipe?! Show me!"

"Can do Pi...." I began before she pulled me through the bakery and towards the kitchen.

I stumbled up to the front door, holding my stomach.

Note to self, never mix eighty different kinds of food together.... doesn't end well.

[Yeah, you can say that again.]
<I think I'm going to puke!>

I pushed open the door and burped, "Oops... I'm home."

Spark walked out of the kitchen holding his Spitfire plushy and a bowel of food, "Hey dad."

I chuckled, "Hey buddy. How ya doing?"

He shrugged, "Fine."

"What you doing with that big bowel of food on your back?"

He smiled, "Me and Fawn are going to play a game! And we're going to need a lot of food for it!"

I chuckled and jumped onto a chair, "Okay bud, just don't make a mess."

He laughed and walked past, "No promises dad."

I shook my head laughing, "That's my boy."

[Damn Lance, he's just like you.]
{I know.... Let's just hope he doesn't get my charm for the ladies. That has never really worked out for me in the past.}
<Ah, so true. Remember Janet?>
[Oh man! Janet the friend zoner! She shot us down in ten seconds flat!]
{... Don't remind me.}

"Lance!" Twilight practicably screamed as she ran in the front door.

I shot out of the chair and slammed into the ceiling. I then fell to the floor and jumped up, "What is it?!"

She thrusted a letter in my face, "Spike just gave me this letter! It's from my parents!"

Is this good? Probably not, due to her reactions.

I leaned forward a little and read the letter.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Your father and I have just heard that you're married. But, why haven't you sent us a letter? Or contacted us about this? We both want to meet this dashing young stallion. We've heard he is quite the sight.

We've decided that we're going to travel to Ponyville and meet your new husband. We should be there soon, seeing as it's not a long train ride from here to there.

We can't wait to see you again, it's been so long since the last time we've all been together.

With love,
your parents'

I chuckled, "They sound nice. Why are you so worried?"

She twitched, not a good sign, "Why am I worried?! They excepted me to get married to a normal stallion!"

I cracked a smile, "So?"

She facehoofed, "Lance, you're not even a real pony! You're a human! Plus, you have crocodile eyes and zebra strips! You don't even look normal!"

I put a hoof to my chest, and said in my most dramatic voice, "Oh, that hurts Twi."

She let out a ragged breath, "I'm sorry Lance, I'm just nervous."

I chuckled and trotted over and wrapped my forelegs around her, "Don't worry about it, they'll love me. When do you think they'll be here?"

She sat back and scrunched her face up, thinking, "Well, it's not a long trip from Hoofington, so... EEP! Tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? Nice, I got to meet them." I said with a grin.

She sighed, "I just hope they approve of you. I don't want my parents to disapprove of my husband."

I shrugged, "I'm a lovable guy."

[LIE!]
{Shhh! I know, I'm trying to keep her calm! I'm so freaking out on the in side right now!}

I put a foreleg over her shoulder, "Come on, let's get some food, get the kids to bed, then go to bed. Sound good?"

She smiled and nuzzled my cheek, "Yes. But, I cook. I heard what happened at Sugar Cube Corner."

I laughed loudly, "News travels fast, huh?"

She walked past me and swished her tail in my face, "It sure does."

I smirked and followed her, "Are we going to have a 'adventure' tonight in the bedroom?"

She looked back, "Maybe."

[Fuck yeah!]
<WHAT TIME IS IT?! ADVENTURE TIME!>
[... No... just no bro.]